So, let me get this straight. @Damn_Tony is “out” (on a date?) with @Tink1113. Where are they? Not the mall, I hope. So @Damn_Tony sees some other girls, and he thinks to himself, ‘self? Why don’t I flirt with those girls over there, and try to make @Tink1113 jealous. Yeah. Why not? Then maybe I’ll see if she really cares about me. Will she get jealous, or will she not care? I dunno. One way to find out….’
Ok, so it seemed like a good idea at the time. @Damn_Tony is what—14? How many girlfriends has he had? Were there any courses in school to teach him how to be a boyfriend? Or does all he knows come from TV and the movies? Parents? Friends? Church?
So @Tink1113 sees him flirting with the other girls, and she’s like, ‘what the fuck?’ ‘Why is he doing this right in front of me? Does he think I’m not here?’ So she starts fuming, and the anger boils up, and now she’s in @Damn_Tony‘s face giving him what for, and he’s like, “Dude,” (Don’t ask me how girls get to be dudes, but you know how the new generations like to mess up us old farts), “Calm down. Don’t make such a big deal.”
@Damn_Tony is beginning to realize he’s fucked up big time, but he’s still in defensive mode, and is making like he didn’t do anything wrong, and there’s no reason for her to get all bent out of shape. Of course, this is exactly the wrong thing to do, because you just don’t tell a girl what she should feel. What do you know? You aren’t the girl, right? But hell, you’re just 14 years old, and you haven’t even been halfway around the block yet, and you fuck up.
So @Tink1113 is not only feeling insulted, but to add insult to injury, her supposed boyfriend is making like he didn’t do nothing. So she’s getting in his face, and she’s like “Dude” (again with the “dude” stuff, but this time it’s the other way around), “You don’t know how to treat a girl, do you? What the fuck do you think you’re doing? You don’t really care about me. I mean, you’re just dicking around with me, trying to play me, on and off again. Well, I don’t like that shit, and I’m not going to take it.”
And @Damn_Tony, beginning to catch on that that it’s even worse than he thought, but he’s got his pride, too. I mean, he’s a dude (then again, so is she) and dudes don’t take that shit from their bitches, right?
Oh god. Where does this stuff come from? TV? Movies? Maybe they ought to ban the things. At least until kids reach the age of, oh, I don’t know, THIRTY!!!!
So @Damn_Tony is all like, “Bitch, get out of my face. I don’t need this shit. You know what?” He’s started to walk away from her, but he turns around, and his face is like all red—even his ears (that’s the way it is with the Irish, so why not Italians? Not that I know what these kids are)—and so he screams like so everyone in the mall can hear, “Bitch! It’s over! Don’t call me. I won’t be calling you!”
Wow! I mean, wow! So @Tink1113—now her pride is also like torn into little shreds by one of those shredding machines they have in offices? And she thinks, ‘I am never going to talk to him again. I’ma gonna tell all my friends how he is, and let those bitches have him. They deserve him.’
All right. So @Damn_Tony gets home, and he starts to cool down, and think it over, and he realized that he really was kind of deliberately pushing her buttons. He probably doesn’t know why he feels the need to do this. Some kind of insecurity, no doubt. I mean, he’s fourteen for God’s sake. These things happen. And he realizes that he’s really hurt her, and he didn’t really want to do that, because she’s got all these good qualities, and besides, she’s been real nice to him, and showed him fluther and all, which is a real cool site, even if there are all these old farts there…. (do they even think of us as “old farts” any more? Maybe there’s another, more derogatory term?)
So he tries to call her. But she won’t answer. She’s sitting there screening her calls, and she’s glad that he’s suffering because he’s been such a shit. He messages her, and who knows, maybe even e-mails her (do they even know what e-mail is, or is it all Tweets and AIM and Facebook chat???)
Silence. More silence. He’s starting to feel real bad, which is good, since that’s what she wants him to feel. As bad as she felt. Worse even. And now he’s getting all Romeo and Juliet or maybe Pretty in Pink or Sixteen Candles and thinking, you know, boy gets girl, boy fucks up, boy loses girl, and now we’re getting to the boy gets girl back part, so all he has to do is get over there and serenade her under her window with like a guitar and some sad song by Ice T or something (does Ice T do any sad songs? Is it even Ice T?) and her heart will melt, and she’ll appear at the window (does it have a balcony? I mean, what movie are we really in?) She’ll forgive him, and he’ll climb the tree and they kiss and fade to black. Right?
But no. Nothing like that. In reality, she runs back into the house, looking for a bucket to fill with water so she can pour it on her head, but she can’t find one soon enough, and when she gets back, he’s gone.
So he doesn’t know what to do. And then he has this brilliant idea! Maybe he can talk to her by telling the whole world (well, fluther, anyway) about what’s going on, and maybe she’ll see it, and she’ll realize he knows what a jerk he’s been, and she’ll forgive him.
Oh. The drama!
So, it works. And not only that, she gets on the thread, and starts talking about her side of things, and how hurt she is, and they start getting all this advice, and everyone is going all emo about it, and they love to see her be hurt and stand her ground and make him grovel, and then grovel some more, and we all get to see—what will happen?
So is this Jerry Stringer? Or whoever is the latest tell-all host on TV. Does Oprah do this shit? Ellen? Are we all some kind of audience and are there like these ratings or something? Is this even real?
Well. Alls fair in love and war. So they say. But I say that if you put out in public, then you’re fair game, too. Even if you are 13 or 14. I’m old school, I guess. I think people ought to have some shame. Keep things private. It’s one thing to ask indirect, hypothetical-seeming questions, but it’s quite another for the players to “come out” so to speak.
But let’s suppose it’s not an act. Let’s suppose these are real kids with real feelings and they really don’t know what to do, and he’s desperate (because when you’re 14 and this is your first “love” it just gets inside you and it’s all you can think about, and you can’t focus on school (oops, no school, it’s summer), so rewind, it’s summer and this is summer love, and there’s nothing else to do but to get involved, preferably with someone hot, and I don’t know, but I guess girls (never having been one, it’s a little harder for me to imagine) also get all wrapped up in this, and they also really fall in love, and, well, you know….. It’s like Mt Rushmore. It’s like High School Musical. It’s like the quintessential teen-age angsty first love high drama….
Yeah. Ok. As you can see, I’m kind of stalling here, because honestly, I don’t know what to say. Feelings have been hurt on both sides. Does fault matter? Can apologies be accepted? Surely there is more back story here than we know, and there are probably things that bear on the events and maybe will determine the ending, but we simply don’t know them.
Do we want them to get back together? Is it true romance? Is it like @Sariperana says, and if he gives her time, she’ll cool off, and maybe be able to talk to him, and then put this behind them? Are these kids just experiementing and learning how to deal with strong feelings? Are there lessons here for real life? I mean, for the future?
Just how seriously should we take this?
So people start making comments about how much like a movie it is. So cliched and all.
@Damn_Tony starts making brave statements. He act cocksure. “I’ll sweettalk her. I’ll tell her she knows she loves it.” Yeah. That’ll make her feel good. Again with the knowledge of what’s going on inside her. He vows to undergo any test she places on him (getting wet, anyway).
We haven’t heard from @Tink1113 in a while. Maybe she’s getting uncomfortable being in the public eye. Maybe there’s some kind of counter, like when we’re in a TV audience, and they are constantly measure whose side we are on, and who we are sympathetic to, and all that.
But this is part of the problem, I think. @Damn_Tony is acting too macho. He’s not really listening to her. He’s listening to some kind of movie script in his head. And she gets it a bit. It’s confusing, but she sees, to some degree, that he doesn’t get it, and he’s not listening. But does she realize that maybe he’s doing it out of insecurity? Or because he has no idea what else to do? Or is he really that way? One of those guys who always got his way?
Ok. Therapy? We love to urge people into therapy. But can you go to couples therapy if you aren’t a couple? And does teen love deserve to be taken that seriously?
Oooo. What if we get to play couples therapist? Anyone got a license to practice? Hey! We don’t need one. Fluther is open for anyone. So long as they don’t, like, break the rules of the moderators. But I forget. Is @Tink1113 the daughter of one of the moderators? Will she act to protect her daughter? The thot plickens!
Well. Time—maybe it doesn’t heal—but it does make the pain fade a bit. If @Damn_Tony is contrite enough, and @Tink1113 is forgiving enough, maybe they’ll get another chance. Still, the drama—seems like it’s getting in the way. Drama has a way of making people into archetypes, and that kind of hardens their positions and make them act in ways they might not otherwise act.
Can we blame TV and the movies for some of this? Can we blame parents (well, not if one of them is a moderator) schools? Who fell down on the job? Or is it inevitable, like some greek tragedy? Is it destined to be a train wreck? What would Gilbert and Sullivan say? Rogers and Hart? Disney?
Well, stay tuned. Don’t go away. Don’t touch that dial (for those of you who grew up with clickers, believe it or not, in the old days you actually had to drag yourself off the couch, walk over to the TV and turn the dial in order to change channels). Enough provocation.
What happens next?
Guys?
Composing members:
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Composing members:
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