What are the right things to say to an alcoholic?
My brother is a long-term alcoholic. My mother enabled him for years by letting him live with her, giving him money, etc. She is now in an assisted living facility.
(I am telescoping multiple attempts by multiple family members during many decades.) Can’t count the times I and others have driven him, drunk, to detox or rehab. He has lied. Has has stolen from family members.
He then went to my sister’s. She told him to get help or get out. He kept leaving the facilities with one excuse after another.
After he was found drunk lying in the snow in January on a sidewalk, we shipped him to my niece. She finally kicked him out for good (after several temporary kicking him out and letting him back). He came back and has been at the old city for a week.
He did day labor to get enough money to drink. He showed up drunk at the assisted living facility. He showed up drunk at my sister’s. We have closed ranks in that we cannot continue enabling him to drink through “helping him out with money and shelter”.
He just called me to tell me goodbye and that he was killing himself. I spent an hour talking him down. He promised he would not do it tonight, and he will wait until he can get into detox. Who knows if he will?
What else could I say that might be effective in getting him to go and then stay in treatment?
This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.