Social Question

DrasticDreamer's avatar

Is being in love with more than one person at a time possible for you?

Asked by DrasticDreamer (19152 points ) August 19th, 2009

I’m not asking if you think it’s possible at all – I’m asking if it’s possible for you.

Are you the type of person who thinks they have the capability to be in love with more than one person at a time? If yes, why? If no, why?

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36 Answers

live_rose's avatar

personally I don’t think so I have a hard enough time allowing myself to love one person let alone numerous people

Likeradar's avatar

Yes, I think it would be possible for me. But for the sake of my relationship, I avoid doing things that would lead to that bond with someone else.

tinyfaery's avatar

Not so far. I can definitely lust after more than one person though.

JLeslie's avatar

No, not romantic love.

wildpotato's avatar

Sure! I love three people deeply. I don’t know how it could be otherwise – I wouldnt be the person I am if I didn’t, that’s all. I don’t know if I’d term it a capability so much as a lack of inhibition, which is more of a character deficiency than an asset most of the time. I do like the fact that I’ve never experienced jealousy and refuse to put up with it. It’s a silly emotion to indulge if one enjoys caring for many people

AstroChuck's avatar

I’m assuming you mean love in a romantic sense. Yes, I think you can love more than one person that way. Fortunately for me, I only love one woman romantically. I just hope my wife doesn’t find out about her.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

Possible, perhaps but I’m only going to choose one.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

@AstroChuck Yeah, romantically. That’s why I said “in love with” not just “love”. I knew it might confuse people.

casheroo's avatar

I don’t think I’ve ever experienced it, but I’m betting I’m capable of it. I don’t want to find out though.

hearkat's avatar

It hasn’t happened to me as of yet. I can say that I do not have the capacity to try to have two relationships at the same time though! I get mxed-up enough with one romantic partner, I could never juggle more than one!

Facade's avatar

I’m not sure, but anything is possible. Like @casheroo I don’t want to find out. For now, I’m quite happy with being in love with one man.

aprilsimnel's avatar

I believe love isn’t limerance. And love means putting up with the BS sometimes as well as having the snuggy-wuggy times. It’s a passel of work. So, no, I don’t think I’d be able to have more than one at a time. Maintaining one romantic relationship is enough for me.

loser's avatar

Nope. I only have enough focus for one.

KatawaGrey's avatar

I think that it would be possible for me. Every time I have been in love has been so very different though that I’m not sure if I would know it until after one or the other love was no longer there. I suspect I have the potential to be in love with another man in addition to my current boyfriend but I am not letting it get to that point. I do not want to be in love with this other man, which helps, and since he is my oldest friend, that actually helps as well. It’s easier for me to think of him as my brother and not a potential lover.

hug_of_war's avatar

I don’t think so, I’ve never had multiple best friends, or multiple crushes even. Monogamy is my friend.

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

yes, it is possible nfor me, just not feasible or a great idea to act upon.

augustlan's avatar

I think it’s possible for me theoretically, but am glad it’s not my current reality.

autumn43's avatar

Sigh. Yes. I wish I knew why. But it’s not really for me to say who people should love, how they should love them, or how many. One thing is for sure, you have to learn to love yourself before anyone else can or will.

Leanne1986's avatar

I’ve never experienced this before so I can’t say for definate whether it is possible for me but I can’t ever imagine loving two people at the same time in the same way.

Quagmire's avatar

YES, but not equally.

Love is a complex thing. There will be one that you have more fun with, one that you like more, one that’s both a good friend AND a lover. We see it all the time with divorced people who even remarry yet have feelings for the first spouse.

I don’t think it’s rare. What’s rare is people ADMITTING it.

DrBill's avatar

Not humanly possible, but you can lust after many.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

It is possible for me and it has happened in the past and I was in a relationship with both of them

SuperMouse's avatar

No, I have contemplated this subject and for me the answer is a resounding no. I am a serial monogamist.

ShanEnri's avatar

Yes! For a while I was. We worked together and it was not as strong a love as I have for my spouse and never acted on it. I still think about this person though we haven’t seen or spoken to each other for over 10 years!

geniusatwork's avatar

Being in love with multiple people is better left for those still in high school.

irocktheworld's avatar

Yeah! You can still love someone and have feelings for the other person.I don’t think there’s anything wronge with that.You can break up with someone and still love them. That’s fine with me.

Likeradar's avatar

@geniusatwork So is being judgmental about the decisions and emotional capabilities of others.

CMaz's avatar

Sure,living a Polyamorous life can work.
If we are all in agreeance and live under the same roof.

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

@Likeradar good call, some people find their definitions to be labeled black and white. Love, like most good things in life, has many many nuances. Some people just. don’t. get. it.

wundayatta's avatar

I’ve believed I’ve loved more than one woman at once. However, the women I was with didn’t believe it, and all of them had the integrity not to let them get involved with another woman’s man. I still believe it’s possible in theory. In practice, however, I have always fallen in love with women whose ethics would not allow them to participate in such a scenario.

One of my girlfriends said she believed in “free love.” It took a while for her to convince me that it was a good thing. Then, when I finally tried to practice it, she discovered she didn’t like it. I think that being in love with more than one woman at once, if you try to practice it, has too many logistical problems to be able to stop from hurting the others rather too much.

From what I’ve heard, polyamorous relationships have a lot of issues, especially with jealousy, to work through. I’m not convinced that people actually effectively work these issues through and come to a point where they are no longer any trouble. I think people tend to be pretty selfish about relationships of a romantic nature, and that, if they do agree to be in a polyamorous relationship, that it may have something to do with self-esteem issues.

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

Yes. I have been in love with 2 men before. Both were completely different feelings of love though. Eventually I chose the right one for me. But it was hard to make the choice. In the future I intend to stay away from situations like that. It’s complicated and brings lots of drama into everyone’s life.

dee1313's avatar

No.

I’m so satisfied with my husband, the thought would never even cross my mind for another person, and thus no love would ever develop. I’m kind of clingy (at its root is a kind of selfishness… I just want to be with him as much as I can. Him being a Marine doesn’t help though, because it gives me a reason to be that way).

Anyway, my own clingy-ness would prevent it, I will alway have to be in a monogamous relationship because I just can’t share.

Btw, I don’t believe in soul mates. If my husband died, I may end up remarrying, and loving another person. I could not love two or more people at the same time though.

bumwithablackberry's avatar

It’s possible, but I don’t think it’s for everyone.

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