What makes oral sex good?

I think guys generally tell the woman she is the best ever, to make her want to do it more often.
Generally, most women are terrible at it (i almost said Suck at it). Their teeth hurt, their gagging sounds are not arrousing.
Even when i got in as far as possible, it was not great.
The best I ever had was still not as good as the worst regular sex.

No hands! For blowjobs. And no gagging sounds, or gagging actions. And no teeth, and plenty of tongue on the underside of the “shaft”.

I find it very funny how many people have started “crafting a respone” to this question, and then stopped, and then started again, lol

For me, with receiving, it’s all about her taking her time. Barely touching me with her tongue, and teasing me at first. Then, a little quicker, and firmer tongue works. I’m more of a side-to-side tongue along the clit kinda girl. Her tongue up and down, meh, not so much. Gently sucking is good, too. Not too hard, though. Penetration at the same time sends me over the edge.

When giving (which I love), taking your time, teasing, spending time kissing her inner thighs, reaching up and gently squeezing her nipples and gentle strokes with your tongue along her clit, at first. Listening to her (hearing what she likes—everyone’s different). Then quicker, stronger licks, inserting your fingers/dildo, stroking the g-spot. If she’s really responding to something that you’re doing in particular, or close to the edge – don’t stop! And, keep on doing what you’re doing.

Yum.

Fellatio: thick, full lips; the ability to take in the full measure (more or less); and the propensity to swallow, which inexplicably makes a big difference.

Cunnilingus: no fucking idea other than being lucky enough to find someone who thinks your skillz are the bomb. I hear consistency and persistance are contributing factors. I guess the ability to listen and respond to pos/neg feedback.

I find it highly amusing how chicks go on about their BJ skiils. It must be akin to dressing up mainly to impress other girls.

Oh my! I guess I am up to the challenge. The first thing I would say is take it slow. It is a slow, sensitive touch that gets the job done and gets it done right. Here are a couple of other important factors:

1. Lick the tip and the shaft.
2. Do not neglect the testicles (using hands and tongue).
3. Use some teeth now and then but not too much.
4. Prostate massage is a girl’s best friend.
5. Know the most sensitive areas and pay close attention to them.
6. Swallow, but not all of it, the hand job part is kind of fun.
7. Take it all in.

I am a heterosexual woman.

Oh Nikipedia! What trouble you are asking for! ;-)

A person who gives a good blow job, above all else, knows how to play their partner. Like playing any instrument, practice, practice, practice. You may never be perfect, but you will become awfully good.

When you “play” your partner, you are not just finding the good spots, but you are paying attention to every little signal. You know how teasing works. You play around the tip of the penis with your tongue, but you don’t engulf it—not yet. You want to make your partner beg for it. You know how to play between the standard and the unexpected. Sucking his cock—sure, but also licking that sensitive part behind or underneath his balls. Teasing with your tongue. Sucking in a ball, squeezing a little, making him wonder—dancing on the line between pain and pleasure.

Eyes are so important. Looking up into his eyes, catching his look, smiling as you engulf his cock, showing your pleasure. There is nothing you would rather be doing. You would beg to be allowed to do this.

Blowjobs are a curious mix between submission and power. The man loves to lay back, just being allowed to be pleasured. The idea that his privates are the focus of someone else’s pure attention is intoxicating. For the giving person, there is a sense of power—of being able to make this guy whimper and groan.

The psychology of it is more important that the physics of it. The emotions must be played. The physics are important, but they can be learned by a willing partner. In fact, there is an extra excitement in telling your partner exactly what you want him or her to do.

It probably does help to know a bit of anatomy. The tip of the penis is for teasing. The base of the cock is for pumping. The balls are for squeezing or sucking. Tongue, hands, fingers—light touch to tease, stronger touch to finish off. Imagination, too. You will learn to feel every little movement and sigh, how to make him beg for more; how to make him moan.

For many men, the blow job is the best kind of sex, ever. Although, no one wants to have to choose. We want it all. We want the given; we want the forbidden. We want both the tease and the sleaze. We want you to take us deep. We want you to wake us from our sleep.

Now go forth and suck!

@filmfann You poor soul. You need a good bj.

I don’t know. I’ve had limited experience with it. Didn’t think negatively of it, though. :P

I refuse to divulge my secrets

You all have no fucking idea how much research and insight I have put into giving an epic blowjob, but I have yet to apply the knowledge. It makes me kind of anxious.

Damn! Why can’t I get a job as a blowjob evaluator and instructor? Why?

@daloon I’ll nominate you, for all the good it will do.

For all the BJs I’ve had in my life, not one has ever gotten me to the end, as it were. Close, but no sploooge. So I have to agree with @filmfann the best BJ I’ve ever had still doesn’t equal the worst regular sex. Hell, I can do better with my hand (or a soft rubber toy made for penetration) than any female I’ve ever known can do with her mouth.

personally, I think blow jobs are over-rated and might be more about male domination over the female than anything.

@filmfann and @evelyns_pet_zebra you both have my sympathies. Every man deserves to have at least one “better then sex” blow job.

@daloon Stop it. You’re turning me on.

@SuperMouse that would be ‘better THAN, not then’ =)

@evelyns_pet_zebra I rest my case.

your dick. in. her mouth.

@jmah thanks for that

I think the only thing anyone can say is that there isn’t one, simple answer or one single “proof”. How good a BJ is or isn’t depends on many factors. You have to know what the person receiving likes, and I don’t mean in general. You have to have a really good understanding of it. One BJ is never the same as another one, even with the same partner. Sometimes people are in the mood for certain moves over others.

I don’t buy most men telling women they’re good at it, simply so the woman will be more willing to do it more often, for a couple of reasons. @filmfann: If most women are terrible at it, then what would be the point of a man trying to get women to do it as often as possible or more often in general? I sure as hell wouldn’t want a guy who was horrible at giving me oral to do it as often as possible. Also, there are plenty of women that don’t have to be convinced or begged to give a BJ, because they thoroughly enjoy giving them. I think that is one major reason a BJ will be good, okay, or completely fucking awesome.

When a guy goes on and on about a BJ for hours and hours, sometimes even days after the fact… You know they aren’t just making it up. Like I said, though: What’s great for one guy might not be so awesome for the next. It’s all about learning what someone likes and that takes a lot of effort.

@DrasticDreamer I agree, telling me I’m good at doesn’t mean I’m going to do it more often. It just means you think I’m good, or you’re lying to get me to do it more lol.

I personally don’t like giving oral sex. I have to be really really in the mood. But, some gals on here are saying no hands for a blowjob, but I feel that it’s quite necessary (granted, not every time, but for me it helps get the job done)

I don’t know. I truly believe when it comes to oral sex on a woman, that we’re all different. Have you ever started dating someone that was dating someone else for a long time before you? Ugh, they do things a certain way because it’s probably what the girl before enjoyed…but not all girls like the same thing! Same thing with girls in a new relationship with men although men seem to be less picky
These are just observations I’ve made though.

@casheroo You’re so right. It is so hard to try to break a man out of habits he used on his last partner… I also think being able to perform an excellent blow job comes naturally to certain people

@Facade I agree. If some people can be better than others at math (or art, or whatever) naturally, why’s that any different than certain men or women being naturally better at oral? That’s not to say that people can’t learn, but I think that what you said is definitely a possibility.

I agree that, when giving a man head, it is important to do what your current partner wants, but I think the essential skills remain the same no matter who is on the receiving end.

As for women, I really think they vary more widely in their desires and comfort zones, so it is really important for the giver to listen to her instructions. Even if she has never been sent to the moon, if he listens to her reactions and is sensitive, he can get it done.

I have lots of experience and feedback on this subject… I was told by a guy I didn’t even know, who heard from a guy I did know – but had never had ‘relations’ with, that I gave the best head in town… so take that for what it’s worth. Also, my husband (like @evelyns_pet_zebra) never got off on head, until he had it from me.

So: Every guy is different, and will respond to different stimulation, but in general… hands and tongue are equally important, pay attention to the balls and the ‘taint’, and I agree with @SuperMouse… prostate fun is always good.

Always get permission for prostate fun

@Facade Agreed. Not all men like it. Mine dislikes being touched on the balls..he’s extremely ticklish lol I’m starting to give too much information haha

@casheroo uhm. wow.

@casheroo LOL! I had to hold back from giving too much info as well :P

edited by moi.

@jmah thankfully! RAWR

EDIT: boo.

sorry, monkey, I went to edit.

<<Really wants to know what @jmah said.

Well, I just wake up and look what I find! How delightful. Unfortunately, @sccrowell is at work for another three hours, but I think I’ll text her to take a peek at this question to reinforce with her that she absolutely does it right (and maybe put the same idea in her head that I have in mine).
@SuperMouse….The Southern California method, I see. You are showing your roots again!
There are some excellent, inspiring answers above, and most are right on, except the guys that don’t think a BJ even compares to penetration (unless of course the BJ to which you refer is @Blondesjon and in that case, it’s obvious you are not listening to his and Andy’s RandomAssRadio show which can be better than sex at times…..those times being when @sccrowell is not home, which would.force me to take things into my own hands, which is OK, but I’d rather get drunk with the boys and eagerly await her arrival….I have a standing apology with the show to prematurely depart prior to conclusion upon Sherry’s arrival….hey, keep things straight there, that was prematurely depart from the show).
As for BJs, which I see no reason to compare to penetration, which is a wonderful different experience but both can be equally explosive:
Hands/no hands: Both are right Do it both ways.
Eye contact is imperative. Not continuously but definitely when you switch things up a bit.
Never rush, take your time mix it up, both technique and rate.
For oral sex either way, and sex in general:
Always eliminate distractions (phone off,etc) and totally concentrate on your partner and the sensations you feel.
Tease your partner in advance with a text message or brief telepone calll. Let their mind wander as it will in anticipation of what you plan to do to them later.
Tease, taunt, tittleate, taste, treat with a liberal amount of baby oil or strategically placed dollops of real whipped cream (in the aerosl can not that Cool Whip crap), even some gentle teeth and perhaps some tie downs…..all good for either partner. Toys, swings, slings: also good.
The only bad thing is forcing your partner to do something they do not want to do or try. I look at sex as a lifelong educational experience. Learn from the past what worked well and continue. If something didn’t work well, try something new. Explore new things. Try blindfolds, feathers, boas (not the snakes….well, unless you are into that), materials like silk, warmed scented massage oils, dripping hot wax, its all good. Of course the best sex is intimate sex, based on open and honest communication, at all times and a well established bond and trust in all aspects of your relationship. A one night stand or an incredibly gorgeous hooker may offer you some other aspect of excitement (i.e., the unknown or physical attraction) but the sex will not compare to that with a trusted intimate partner. And when you are truly in love, you put your partners satisfaction ahead of your own and when both partners feel this way the is no limit to pleasure, sexual or otherwise.
OK, enough from the old man. Two hours to clean up before Sherry gets home. Later….Gary/wtf
@nikipedia….As always, a tip of the hat and a latte to you, and, of course, a GQ

@whatthefluther you my fellow Californian are a genius. No, a Super Genius!

@whatthefluther Your mention of whipped cream reminded me of a few other tricks that might pleasure some guys. There’s the heat and cold thing. Put some ice in your mouth before working your guy. Or, conversely, a mouthful of your favorite warm beverage can create another delightful sensation. I’ve heard that whiskey or chocolate syrup can be fun for the right people.

@chicadelplaya I am so terribly terribly sorry. I do hope you weren’t reading this in a—uh—compromising situation;-)

Listerine

pineapple juice

Its always a good sign when a girls nose touches below your belly button ;)

worst sex better than best blowjob!? you guys are fucking crazy.

@SuperMouse , How right you are….
@daloon , They all work, but, wtf’s favorite is my mouth with a couple wintergreen Altoids…

Give this a try, sure to please…

@uberbatman Methinks those fellows just haven’t met the right woman for the job yet.

One more thing, ladies: never, ever pause during the process to ask your man for a new car, a trip to Hawaii or a new piece of jewelry. Why? Because it aint fucking fair! Thank you for listening (like any of you are going to actually pay heed to those words).
See ya….Gary/wtf

You guys never disappoint. Great answers, everyone.

I think it’s interesting that this turned into a BJ-centric thread. Hmm.

@nikipedia – I’m frankly too embarrassed to discuss what I like so openly.. I wonder if maybe other women feel the same.

@nikipedia well, after @jmah lip smacking response, why continue on the cunnilingus? she wins the thread.

@filmfann then I sincerely hope that you no longer ask anyone to perform blow jobs on you, right? seems only you yourself would be best..kind of makes you want to remove a bunch of ribs, yes?

@augustlan i agrees. pity for them :P

Please allow me to jump in here with some things that make for mind blowing oral sex for a woman.

1. Lots of tongue
2. Teeth, especially on the labia
3. Pay attention to the taint
4. Lick the clit
5. Be comfortable with the area

If a person is new to performing oral sex on a woman ask her what she likes, be sensitive, start off slow and be patient. Remember, there are no teeth there so it is highly unlikely you will be bitten.

Men, what’s your opinion on gagging? I personally think it would be a huge turn off, but I also don’t have a dick to be sucked, so I guess i’m in no position to say what’s good or not.

@le_inferno it depends if its like constant gagging, noooooo, but if its an accidental gagging the pursuit of fitting it all in, im cool with that ;)

too add to what supermouse said, once you start really getting into it, never ever stop until she has an orgasm. Doesnt matter if you feel like your tongue is going to fall off, keep going damn it!

ergh should have been “in the pursuit”

Blowjobs – I’d say it’s different for all men. Some like the balls licked/touched/sucked, some don’t. Some like you to gag, some don’t. It’s all about knowing your partner. Most important thing with anything sexual is communication. I like to look up at my partner while giving a blowjob, and look down when he’s going down on me.

I don’t like teeth to be used during oral sex at all. I like the use of both tongue and fingers at the same time. I love for a guy to take my clit slightly in his mouth and shake his head back and forth quickly. Mmm.

Mostly though, I just love to have sex. I can take or leave the oral, the foreplay… I just really like a cock inside me.

I’m a bisexual female.

” I like to look up at my partner while giving a blowjob” One of the hottest things ever when a girl does this. :)

I don’t have much experience receiving at all, so I’m not sure what I’d even like…

…something I’ve always wondered—what does it feel like to have a cock inside you—why doesn’t it feel like it’s weird to have something inside you, even if you do love the person?

Because it feels excellent. I’ll take penetration of outside stimulation any day.

@Facade, I’m not sure if it’s a straight answer I’m looking for, or a more poetic one. I get that it feels good. But how is it that it feels good? I suppose it’s like trying to explain color to a blind person, but still, I’d like to know.

I don’t think I could put the physical or spiritual feeling into words, especially how it felt the very first time. Sorry

@daloon – Funny you should ask this, I was just thinking about it yesterday and finding it difficult to describe. It doesn’t even feel exactly as you would imagine having something inside of you, at least to me. It’s just blissful and rubs the right places. It doesn’t feel weird because if I’m having sex with someone I’m really into, there is high emotion and high attraction, and I kind of want to absorb them. That sounds weird to say, but I don’t know how else to describe it.

@MissAnthrope Thanks for trying ;-)

@daloon, to me it is a beautiful way to feel close to someone. When I think of the fact that another person is actually inside me I am in awe. It feels to me that two bodies becoming one is the ultimate way to show love. From a purely physical standpoint it doesn’t feel half bad either. If the man knows how to find the g-spot it is an incredible, intense sensation.

…i can roll my tongue….

There’s a funny story I heard about Sylvester Stallone. Supposedly on a set he was miked for audio when he retreated to his trailer with a lucky lady. Unbeknownst to him, the microphone was still on when Sly coached her (and everyone on set) through his idea of a good blowjob (with which I agree): “Stroke the shaft. Cup the balls.”

@daloon I’d agree with @SuperMouse; she summed it up nicely. Having another person inside you is as close as you can get to another human. I love looking in their eyes, knowing the smile/smirk/sweat is all for me. It’s the only time, basically, when I feel the most love. It’s taking the emotion behind love and creating a physical act to represent the purest form of love.

I think when you are in a very secure trusting intimate relationship, copulation provides the ultimate form of connecting with another , the strongest bond possible between two people and an effective form of non-verbal communication. And, its not just the physical pleasure, it also excites then relaxes the mind and it soothes the soul.
It certainly carries my highest recommendation.
See ya…Gary/wtf

@jeanna That’s how I experience the most love, but for my wife, it’s different. Other things make her feel the most love.

What makes oral sex good?

Attention, spit, a little suck action, let his penis slap the face a few times, look up into his eyes, make sounds of enjoyment, go deep and wiggle, swallow half and let the rest fall on your face or breasts.

god I hope my son isn’t reading this!

Mom!!! Gross!!!!

@filmfann Go to bed!

@jonsblond: let his penis slap the face a few times

What?!?!?!? Really!?!?!

everyone loves a good cock slap :P

The slapping of the face with a penis seems sexist to me.

@nikipedia Seriously. We’ve been together for 18 years. Nothing sexist about it.

@jonsblond: but…but…why!?!?!?!

@nikipedia It’s all about pleasing the person that you love. If you know that they love you and would never do anything to hurt you, what’s wrong with his cock gently slapping you in the face during a moment of pleasure? You did ask for details, right?

Is there any difference between sucking it and having it slap your face? Really?

@nikipedia…It’s just teasing. When a guy does it, he is thinking/saying “well, I know you want this in your mouth, but you can’t have it yet…I’l just slap your cheek/side of your mouth a few times so you’ll really want it”, while when a woman does it to a guy, she’s saying something similar like, “oh, I know where you want that thing, and I’ll put it close just to make you squirm and beg for me to take it in”. Just a tease and good fun, not meant to degrade anyone. Am I right on this one, @jonsblond ? See ya…..Gary/wtf

@jonsblond I think there’s a big difference. I wouldn’t do it, but if other people want to, that’s that.

Turkey necking a girl in the face? Yeah, not so much.

@eponymoushipster….compared to slapping the monkey?
To each, his own.

@whatthefluther what she does to me is a lot different than what I do to her.

@eponymoushipster….I’m all for diversity and whatever works and is pleasurable for the parties involved. If I were single and with a woman I didn’t know intimately and didn’t have quite a bit of sack time with, I wouldn’t do it because it could be considered sexist and degrading.

@whatthefluther So right! It is just a tease and good fun, not meant to degrade anyone. You wouldn’t know unless you’ve been in a long term relationship I guess.

…....and if @sccrowell hadn’t done it to me first, I doubt I would ever do it to her. You have no idea the ways she likes to tease me….and well, vice versa! Just adds some more excitement to what is already very exciting (to say the least). It goes with a long term secure relationship as @jonsblond states. See ya….Gary/wtf

it dont matter just dont bite it

@jonsblond I am totally with you on letting it slap the face a couple of times! It is a great tease and my man thoroughly enjoys it! Sexist? No.

@SuperMouse & @jonsblond….Sometimes, it seems to me that the sun shines a bit differently, and for the better, here in Southern California (or, I’m just a romantic old man).
See ya….Gary/wtf

I believe seeing the act of slapping a woman’s face with a penis is considered sexist based on porn. If you think about it, the scenes involving this usually incorporate an entire bondage scenario, including the man slapping the woman with his hand. Plus it isn’t easy to differentiate between a hand and a penis, at least not subconsciously (and perhaps consciously, depending on the size). Our eyes see it, the brain is programmed to think it, so we label it. Tis tough to break the mold.

Anything could be labeled sexist, really, depending on the circumstances.

I’m a woman.
I love oral sex, giving and receiving. Plenty’s been offered out of sucking dick here so I’ll chirp in with what I think makes eating pussy great. See what I wrote there? eating pussy not gingerly poking at it with the tip of your tongue or blowing it kisses while routing around with a digit.

Put your entire mouth over it, lick it, put your tongue in it, suck on it, move it around with your mouth and face. Grab your womans legs and pull her to you, kiss and lick her thighs, belly, buttocks, be gentle with your fingers at first and then build up to going for the g-spot, rock her hips against you, stroke her with your hands and feel over her breasts while you’re munching.

@hungryhungryhortence i just punched a hole in the table from underneath.

@eponymoushipster: am I wrong? ;p

@hungryhungryhortence no. i meant, my autonomous function kicked in, reading your description. but, i concur. i do that stuff myself.

@eponymoushipster: Right on!!!

@hungryhungryhortence i like grabbing her hips and pulling her in as tight as possible, then rolling my tongue and getting it in as deep as i can.

@eponymoushipster: someone needs to make some seriously accurate and explicit cunnilingus porn, what little attention paid to it that I’ve seen has been kind of dismal but SOOOO much is shown and made of giving head. Grrrrrr. Super good oral makes for some super good penetration results, ya know. Of course you know, duh!

@hungryhungryhortence blowjobs are in porn for the same reason married men go to hookers: a lot of women don’t want to give bjs to their bf/husband.

@eponymoushipster: It makes sense. I’ve never been able to tolerate porn because I’m a doer and not a watcher, porn makes me way too worked up if I’ve no one to play with. To me it’s superlame if a partner wastes their energies on porn and then has nothing left their real live partner… a post I made some time ago.

@hungryhungryhortence i agree.

@hungryhungryhortence…You are so right about porn. It is targeted to young white men as they are the largest group audience. Anyone who watches porn as a “how to” guide is crazy. That is probably how you get a situation such as a recent one here on fluther where a new jelly feels himself entitled to a common porn type threesome (male-female-female, undoubtedly with the women fighting over his cock) and is looking for help in persuading his girlfriend to accommodate him, seemingly rather than concerned with pleasing his girlfriend properly, which again, porn does an extremely poor job of representing. But, I hold out hope, as he is a clever gentleman and may yet understand.
See ya….Gary/wtf

@whatthefluther: Here’s what I don’t get, if the porn industry is going to spend so much money showing graphic detail of what turns men on, why don’t they also incorporate what turns women on during those acts? Oh wait… that would mean men and women would start having better sex and then there would be less solo viewing of porn maybe? Dunno but when I’ve viewed the porn guy friends say they like then I feel I have to makes notes along the way of, “that’s great but this thing could be added in to make it hot for the woman- blah blah blah”. I also believe people should be having more sex with real people than toggling screens between porn and online games. Just a thought.

I just want to say, i have plenty of awesome sex, but im still going to watch porn everyday. Its just what guys do.

@jeanna I actually like my husband to slap his cock on my face. It turns me on. Does that make me sexist? We’ve been a couple for 18 years. Sometimes it’s fun to try different things. I seriously don’t see any difference from sucking, licking or slapping. It’s still on/in your face. If both parties enjoy, there is no harm.

@jonsblond Um, I’m not the one who called it sexist. I gave an opinion on why I think people see it as sexist. Perhaps you should re-read my comment…

@jeanna Just discussing it with you. I’m not attacking you. Sorry if you feel that way.

I’m going to stop following this thread now.

As far as the big “o”, best one for by far was when I was using a strap-on on her. It kept hitting my clit. And, the idea of what I was doing to her while she was on her back – very sexy; hearing her moan, and feeling her body bucking against me. Hot. The orgasm was intense and unexpected.

@jmah ok, seriously. you have the best answers ever. who do i call if my erection lasts longer than four hours?

@jmah…Please feel free to elaborate or share more.
please don’t feel restricted by the question being about oral sex
@eponymoushipster…After four hours, it may require an emergency call to ball-busters to break things loose
See ya….Gary/wtf

@whatthefluther @jmah hell, if she could provide photos or video, that’d be even more informative.

I met with my friend Khia today, and she gave me this advice to pass on to all of you regarding this question.

@le_inferno right, your “friend”

i think what makes it good is if the person doing it really likes doing it. i think if you like doing anything you’re probably going to do it better than if you just think of it as a chore.

that said, if i had a choice between receiving oral sex or having regular sex, i would chose regular sex any day.

I am female, straight. For me it’s the mood I’m in, and to be perfectly honest, what makes it great differs each time. Sometimes I want to be teased, sometimes a little more direct. My husband has been to only one to ever get me to the big O. I think for a woman, alot depends on how you feel about the person as well.

Patience and the willingness to repeat until the jobs done Real Good and the receiver is sleeping!