Would you mind if your boyfriend constantly allowed other women to borrow his car?

Would you mind if your boyfriend constantly allowed other women to borrow his car . . . and then had sex with them?

Definitely.

As long as its just the car he’s lettting the ladies use, I’d just relax, but they may want to pay him back for gas. Sounds harmless to me.

If it’s something that really bothers you then its definitely something you need to talk to him about. A lot of relationships have problems because of bottled up emotions.

I personally would not be bothered by another woman borrowing my SOs car so long as he is not spending extra time with her. A car is just a car. But like I said, if it really bothers you, you should try to come up with a solution to put you at ease.

Is he also in the car? Are they just borrowing it when he’s working? Other than my issues with other people driving my car (such as what if they total my car sort of thing) then I’d have no issue with it.
I used to share my car with a coworker. He worked the overnight shift, and I worked the day. He’d drive home and sleep then come back with my car when my shift was over. Granted, I didn’t have a boyfriend…I don’t see why it would have bothered him since I never had contact with the guy while he had my car.

No, I don’t think he ever accompanies them, but I’m not sure. Most of the time I don’t even know about it until I see one of them handing him his keys!

…....If she grabs his “stick shift” its ass-kickin’ time however…

Yes, I would.

@gotta LOL! point taken

“of course they have no idea you’re in a relationship and you want to keep it that way”?
RECIPE FOR DISASTER.

La Chica, why?

How did these people get to work in the first place?

The woman that’s married gets dropped off by her husband, I don’t know about the others..

I think it would be really important to find out why he feels responsible for providing these women with a way to run errands during the work day. What else does this generosity exend to? My brother-in-law is always running around, helping other people fix their house, car, etc. while his own home repairs are undone.

Since they don’t know you’re dating, you could ask the women why they borrow his car. That’s a little weird that someone would feel they could routinely use another person’s car.

Because if person X doesn’t know that A and B are a couple, and person X likes one of them, she will flirt with them and pursue them, without any idea that there would be a reason not to. It’s a lot easier for cheating to happen if no one knows you’re a couple than if they do.

Yes. If he has no respect for his car he likely has no respect for his woman.

(Just jokin’)

I would not lend my own car, but I often lend my company car – it is the office taxi. It is meaningless in any but the obvious – transport – sense.

@ PandoraBoxx: He’s always been a fairly generous person just don’t ever ask him for any money and I think they’re just taking advantage of him. He doesn’t see it that way, though. He see’s it as just a friendly favor. And no, they don’t replace the gas. I don’t think they go far enough to have to, but still

@ La chica: you may be right, but shouldn’t he still be considerate enough to tell them in a nice way if he knows it bothers me?

I don’t think you can really say anything. It’s his car, his gas, his insurance if someone has an accident. You could start dropping hints that you’ve seen him out with a really hot looking girl…

It’s his car & his decision. If they are borrowing his car then he isn’t with them while they’re using it, so they don’t have any increased chance of making a move on him or anything. If you trust him, don’t bring it up again. You need to pick your battles in relationships, and this is one to let go.

EDIT: Also, if you feel you can trust him, you don’t have anything to worry about even if this lady does make a move on him somehow. That’s what trustworthy men do- they don’t cheat. “Men will be men” is no excuse.

From what it sounds like, I’ve already lost this one anyway. Thanks for all your comments!

what if he gave one a pencil? or a stapler, or a binder, or a couple batteries, or his laptop to print something out, or his cell phone to make a quick call? do see my point?

Where does it stop being just a nice gesture and turn into omg he’s going to cheat on me?

now I know you’re not saying literally saying “oh em gee he’s going to cheat on me” but this wouldn’t be an issue for you if you weren’t at least mildly concerned about faithfulness, whether currently or in the future

Lend Your Car to A Friend
Lending your car to a friend could prove costly. If you lend your car to a friend and he or she has an accident, it’s your responsibility. You’ll have to file the claim with your insurance company, not your friend’s. To make matters worse, you’re also responsible for any deductible, and the accident could potentially leave a mark on your record, raising your rates, even if you weren’t in the car.

It sounds like you need a lot more communication. Once you have discussed with him how it makes you feel uncomfortable, and you would feel a lot better if he quit it, you can see how much he respects your opinion. If he keeps it up even after you have let him know, drop him.

lol why does letting someone barrow the car = cheating. chilax girl, what you should really be worried about is the fact that you guys have a relationship and no one else knows about it, how do you know this other girl isn’t in a relationship with your bf too and You don’t know about it. She said she has cheated, who knows who it was with, but who ever it is, she wouldn’t spend all her free time with him since she’s married.

But honestly this just sounds like a typical case of jealousy that your BF is helping some girl you think is a whore and it makes it worse that you know she likes him, but what do i know, im just a monkey with a gun.

You can borrow my skateboard. I doubt my girlfriend will mind.

I think you are overreacting and there is a bigger problem. You are super jealous and that is going to be a problem. A problem that I can’t help with. Best of luck.

Sure. I’m fairly confident of his gayness, so it wouldn’t worry me. :P

I would think its sweet that he helps out his coworkers so no it wouldn’t bother me at all.

Choose your fights carefully. This sounds like innocent behavior to me – he’s not chauffeuring them anywhere, is he? If you object to something this innocent you are in danger of being seen as overcontrolling, and if anything will make a man run the other way, it is an overcontrolling woman.

Maybe I am jealous, but you have to admit some gf’s would be if their bf’s were always so willing to help another woman out, right? Right? And I’m not so paranoid or jealous that I think he’ll cheat on me over any little thing. And to be honest, I don’t think the situation would get any better if they did know we were dating. I’ve seen some women take it on as a challenge!

But either way, I’m trying to get over it. Everyone’s saying just about the same thing anyway – it’s no big deal.

It’s quite nice that he’s willing to help people out as long as he doesn’t inconvenience himself or you in the process, and people don’t take advantage of him. Some guys are extra nice and helpful to women. It’s much better than the alternative.

@joni1977: Just to throw my two cents in, I didn’t think everyone was saying the same thing. If my boyfriend did that, I would find it downright weird. Is it only women that borrow his car? Do no men work at this office? There’s something odd about that to me. Maybe I’m just as paranoid as you. Who knows.

I’ve been thinking about this. It’s only odd if the women who borrow his car have their own car sitting in a nearby parking lot. If they ride the bus, or are dropped off, then it’s not so odd that he lends it; it’s really odd that these women feel entitled to ask a coworker to borrow his car. That’s only second to asking someone if you can host a party at their house because it’s bigger than yours. (I have known people to do this.)

Perhaps his motivation is that he’s sympathetic to working women without cars being time strapped when they get home. Not everyone has access to mobility at will, and are dependent on others to be able to do what they need to do. It’s like being an adult and having to have your mom drive you to school, work, to run errands, etc. again. Only you are dependent on a spouse who questions every move you make. For some reason, perhaps with his own mother, sister, etc. he is empathetic to the difficulties posed by not having a car and is choosing kindness.

He only allows the women (there are only 2 btw, sorry I forgot to mention that) to borrow his car. If a male asks, getting behind the wheel is almost out of the Q. He’ll take them to wherever it is that they need to go. So tell me…what’s wrong with that picture?? But so far, since we’ve had our talk, he has not let the one woman in Q borrow his car again – not that I know of. However, she’s still flirting with him. It may be just me, but it seems she reeling in on him now more than ever! She definitely has to know something is up, but I can handle her. It’s him I’m worried about. As I said, I feel like I can trust him, but it may be just a matter of time before the fish takes the bait.

If he would take the bait, you don’t want him. You should not have to work that hard to keep something. Whose idea is it not to tell the people at work you’re dating, and why?

Both, we like to be discreet. Believe me, you would know why if you knew the people we work with and around! And I stand firm when I say, if she knew we were dating, I think she would try that much harder…actually I think that’s exactly what’s going on. But…I really don’t know. this sucks! lol

It does. But she sounds like such a shark that I can’t imagine anyone other than a clueless guy being attracted. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have to try so hard.

@PandoraBoxx that was beautiful! Hi five! LMAO

Not if he constantly lets guys borrow it too.