Social Question

charliecompany34's avatar

When was your last family meeting?

Asked by charliecompany34 (7770 points ) October 8th, 2009

family meeting??? some may say, “what the hell is that?” but some of us are old enough to remember those “brady bunch-esque” pow-wows when you had to stop everything to settle or resolve something on the homefront.

do these family meetings ever happen any more? do they matter? is it what families need in these days of street riff-raff and houliganism? is it no longer part of the family structure?

for what reason did you have to call a town hall meeting in your own house amongst immediate family members?

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27 Answers

charliecompany34's avatar

want to get the attention of the household? trip the fuse box during prime time while laptops and TVs are on. uh-oh! family meeting!

dpworkin's avatar

They are all dead, so there’s no one with whom to meet. And when my father did call family meetings they were in order for him to abuse us, so I stopped attending them in 1966.

charliecompany34's avatar

@pdworkin ooh, uh, ok. sorry to resurface that for you…

DominicX's avatar

Nope, never had a true “family meeting”. At least, we never labeled anything like that. We would plan things together (like where to go on vacation), but it was after we were already together; it’s not like anything was interrupted and we all had to gather in the family room or something. When we ate dinner together, that was a time to discuss, same with being in the car together. But it wasn’t to resolve conflict or anything. Conflict was pretty much only between siblings and that resolved in other ways and didn’t require all 6 of us to be there.

deni's avatar

my parents divorced when i was 7 but even before then i never remember having one.

casheroo's avatar

Nothing official. We can talk about things on our mind during dinner together.

Sarcasm's avatar

We never had family meetings. We never had a reason to have family meetings.

charliecompany34's avatar

@casheroo yeah, that would be the family meeting for us today too. over dinner, with the TVs off and the phone off the hook. damn those cell phones. .

Jude's avatar

Family meeting? Two and half years ago, a month after my Mom died. My Dad got us (four siblings) together and told us that, really, more money should go to him (60 grand, in fact). He stated that when my Mom was in ICU the last month of her life and told my sister-in-law (who helped with my Mom’s finances) her wishes—my Dad believes that because of the cancer/high moprhine, my Mom wasn’t “totally there”. And, really, that bit of money should be his. Nice, huh? We didn’t fight him on it, though, but, it sure tainted our relationship with him. My one brother barely speaks to him because of it.

DarkScribe's avatar

At least weekly – we get together at either our home or one of our daughters’ (or their in-laws) for a meal almost every weekend. Once a month or so we all go to the grand-parents (my in-laws) for a day. We also use video conferencing to stay in touch with the daughters who are not living locally.

RedPowerLady's avatar

I think family meetings are a great idea. Right now it is just me and hubby so no opportunity to have one but I plan on using them in the future.

BTW is it really a pow-wow?
http://www.firstnationsgathering.com/POWWOW_TERMINOLOGY__TIPS.php

SpatzieLover's avatar

Breakfast & Lunch are for my son & I to talk.

Dinner for our family to discuss.

We haven’t had the need for an official meeting yet.

SpatzieLover's avatar

@RedPowerLady My family called them Pow-Wow’s too

peggylou's avatar

@charliecompany34 Oh my gosh! I haven’t thought about family meetings in years! It was always my mother who called them (this was in the 50’s). I think my father was rather embarrassed with the whole thing. My mother read about them in some magazine or newspaper, and thought it would be a good idea. She would call the meeting, and me and my 3 sisters (sorry—“my 3 sisters and I”—another thing of which my mother always corrected us) and parents gathered around the dining room table (which we only used for Christmas dinner and family meetings). It was a totally ego-busting thing! Since I was the most naive, I would take this very seriously and share what was bothering me. My sisters thought it was hysterical and took the opportunity to laugh loudly at me. My parents tried to keep my sisters in control but that only worked when we were “in” the meeting. I remember when my mother reported at a family meeting that the phrase “shut up” would no longer be tolerated. For every time one of us said “shut up,” she would fine us 25 cents off of our allowance. Since we only got $1.00 a week for allowance, my mother thought this would be a very effective way to censor our speech. Instead, after my sisters lost 25 cents for their first “shut up,” they would just yell, “shut up—shut up—shut up—shut up—shut up and shut up!” It was more satisfying for them to lose all of their allowance and yell “shut up.” My poor mother!! My sisters were real assholes!!!

mistered's avatar

My child is not old enough for that yet.

I don’t remember the last time I had a “meeting” with my sisters.

kheredia's avatar

My “family meetings” consist of me visiting at my parents house every Sunday. Both my brother and sister still live there so I’m the only one that’s missing during the rest of the week. My mom usually cooks something yummy and we spend a nice quiet evening chatting and laughing at anything that we find amusing.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

we never had family meetings when I was growing up – that would have to involve my father giving a shit and being there with his children – all he ever did was work, he never viewed parenting as a man’s work, typical, you know..in terms of the family I have now, the last time we had a ‘meeting’ was when my father died

RedPowerLady's avatar

@SpatzieLover Well I hope you’ll consider changing it. It’s pretty culturally inappropriate. I’m ganna leave this discussion though so you all can call it whatever you want.

YARNLADY's avatar

We miss many of our family meetings because Hubby’s company pays us to live 500 miles away. We manage to join in the February family birthday party, and the October family anniversary party. We miss the rest, except for weekly here with my son and his new family.

SpatzieLover's avatar

@RedPowerLady I didn’t mean “me” I meant “my family” which consists mainly of above 50…What I think is MUCH more inappropriate are kids that grow up going to public schools that think Natives are still called Indians & they think they’re a myth/lore…That’s inappropriate and inadequate, IMHO!

augustlan's avatar

Growing up, we never had a family meeting except the time the entire family gathered to hear the news that my grandmother had cancer. A sad meeting that was. :(

For my own children, we have them several times a year. Usually to talk about changes coming up. Even though their father and I are divorced, we still have them together. The kids generally dislike them, but we feel it’s important to do it anyway. More so now than when we were still married.

shockrocks's avatar

My family only ever had 2 family meetings.
1) My sister was promiscuous and everyone in my parent’s church knew it (and were calling our house about it nonstop)
2) My parents thought I was having some sort of sexual affair with my best girlfriend in high school and turning into a lesbian…..much to their “relief” I only turned out bi XD

Avishai's avatar

@shockrocks your ice keeps getting thinner!

shockrocks's avatar

@Avishai you again!!! ;)

Jeruba's avatar

We have them as needed; usually that’s not too often—once or twice a year, maybe. The last one was only about a week ago, to settle on final logistics of a big event we were holding at our house. We have had them over such matters as what to do about an ailing cat (and when) and whether to proceed with major work on the property.

Things that affect everybody and that everybody should have a voice in are occasions for family meetings.

Outside my household, the last family meeting among my siblings and me was over end-of-life care for my mother; the only other one was in the same circumstances, for my father.

YARNLADY's avatar

We had our latest family meeting this month to celebrate everyone’s anniversary. We have a big anniversary party every October. We drove 500 miles with my son, his wife, and two kids. We stayed in a lovely two bedroom condo on the beach for the week, then the Sonny, wife and infant flew home. We moved to a motel with the two year old.

Unfortunately, Father In Law had a heart attack, and while he did not succumb, it is only a matter of weeks for him. Hubby and I were glad we were able to be there and help Mom through part of this time. Sis and our daughter are there to give what aid (both are working Moms) they can, and he is under the care of Hospice right now.

SpatzieLover's avatar

@YARNLADY Well wishes to your FIL and family

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