General Question

majorrich's avatar

My wife just went back to take a bath. How can anyone feel clean after marinating in something your butt has been soaking in?

Asked by majorrich (11938 points ) October 27th, 2009

I get all heebie jeebie thinking about soaking in butt juice. She was not pleased at all of my pointing that out. Maybe I am thinking too much. heh heh heh.

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96 Answers

dpworkin's avatar

GQ! I have always wondered why anyone would want to wallow in his or her own effluent.

Sarcasm's avatar

Something I have always wondered as well.
edit: I hate public pools, as well.

casheroo's avatar

Hm, have you ever heard of a sitz bath I’m sure the thought sounds gross, sitting in a tiny tub like that, but they are extremely effective.
Baths are relaxing.

For me, I tend to rinse off, and wash my hair before I get a bath..because I don’t like washing my body in a bath..I just want to lay in the warm water.

Grisaille's avatar

GQ from me as well.

It’d give you another for use of “soaking in butt juice”, but can’t.

Dog's avatar

~~Geeze- don’t you guys wipe? ;)

Seriously though- I often shower first then soak in the bath to relax especially after a workout when the muscles seem to get tight.

troubleinharlem's avatar

This is why they created showers.

alyssaerin's avatar

I’ve always found baths sort of disgusting myself. Many like bubbles and candles and the relaxation/spa-like feeling that comes with that. I can’t get over the feeling that I’m sitting in a tub full of dirty water so I avoid them at all costs. Showers for me, thanks!

nxknxk's avatar

Baths are for relaxing, not for getting clean. Shower first, then bathe! Of course, that can be a huge waste of water…

DominicX's avatar

Yeah, I agree with others; if I’m taking a bath, it’s just for relaxation. I haven’t really used it as an alternative to showering since I was a little kid.

I also don’t think it’s quite as dirty as you guys think.

El_Cadejo's avatar

Like others said, a bath to me is a way of relaxing not cleaning. I shower then fill the tub up.

timothykinney's avatar

Your wife must have a really nasty butt.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

I feel the invention of the shower officially made the bath, obsolete, for this exact reason.

troubleinharlem's avatar

@nxknxk – true. It’s not like it’s fresh when you start with it in the bath/shower, either, though.

nunoAfonso's avatar

dude that’s just nasty ideas. bath is relaxing and good for you. in fact it is required to most athletes after games or big practices.

troubleinharlem's avatar

@The_Compassionate_Heretic- Hey, great minds do think alike.

naivete's avatar

This made made laugh out loud.
I think it’s more about the ‘relaxation’ part of it rather than actually cleaning yourself…..
I usually take a shower after laying in a bath tub.. It makes me feel clean.

Jude's avatar

I usually have a quick shower before I have a bath. I wash my hair and body (shower), then put the plug in the tub, and fill ‘er up with hot/warmish water and soak. My ass is sparklin’ clean by then, thank-ya very much.

Now, to hop in the bath and soak when you’re all dirty. That’s gross to me.

efritz's avatar

You know, bathwater is not exclusive to your butt – your arms and legs and torso are in the water as well. And most people are not terribly dirty (although if they are, they probably wouldn’t much care about marinating in “butt juice”).

nunoAfonso's avatar

@efritz- exactly. could not agree more

majorrich's avatar

Just thought about farting in the hot tub! Dang! I gotta stop thinking, she’s gonna murder me in my sleep, or pull a psycho on me in the shower! LOL

timothykinney's avatar

The Japanese are huge fans of soaking in a hot bath. But they always take a shower to cleanse themselves first. However, I can offer no cited sources that suggest that Japanese people clean their butts before soaking in a hot bath…and even if they do, it’s unclear what percentage of butt juice is actually removed.

Poor bastards.

tinyfaery's avatar

I don’t know about you, but I do not have, nor have I ever had, butt juice.

NewZen's avatar

As you may know, I have hemorroids. Soaking in the bath – even a very shallow one, is part of the therapy, and feels great too.

nunoAfonso's avatar

oh no you didnĀ“t.

SeventhSense's avatar

And you’re under the impression that showers are sterile? Not according to the latest studies. They may be more harmful to your health than wallowing in your own butt juice for weeks.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

This is just ‘cracking’ me up! Yeah, no baths for me! I want clean water coming & going.

@NewZen I understand what you’re saying there, tho. That WOULD help.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@SeventhSense I’ll just take my chances there anyway. :-/

MissAusten's avatar

So, all this time I spend bathing my children is pointless? They are young boys, they probably have more butt juice proportional to their size than adults do.

@SeventhSense Didn’t you see that study about studies being harmful to your health?

casheroo's avatar

@MissAusten So true. My son did a nasty in his diaper, I tried to wipe it all off before his tubby but he was flipping out about getting in the tub. I’m sure he’ll live.

El_Cadejo's avatar

@SeventhSense i think the first commenter on that article has it right. ” Germs have been around since AIR and they will continue to be around as long as there is air. Doesn’t seem to have damaged the growth and maintainance of our population all this time. Just how paranoid are we going to get??”

chyna's avatar

You guys have seepage coming outta your crack?

jrpowell's avatar

We only have a bathtub at my house so I have to take baths. I am pretty good at wiping so I don’t feel like I am swimming in the toilet bowl.

andrew's avatar

I just pee in the bath. Cancels out the butt juice.

Grisaille's avatar

It’s true, I saw him do that on an episode of Veronica Mars

Sarcasm's avatar

@chyna You can’t honestly tell me that you make sure your ass is AB.SO.LUTE.LY sparkly clean when you whipe after you poop.
and then consider the rest of the dirt you accumulate over the rest of your body throughout the day, and the sweat.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

I lurve soaking in the tub but always shower after.
@andrew: pee pee in the shower and not the tub if you must!
One of the great things about using babywipes/towlettes in addition to toilet paper is you maintain a pretty clean butt most of the time.

casheroo's avatar

@Sarcasm My thing with that is, we go from using moist wipes on babies/toddlers, to dry paper for our own asses. I much prefer the moist wipes (TMI) it actually cleans you down there.

nunoAfonso's avatar

@andrew awesome dude. but easy on the number two

jbfletcherfan's avatar

Oh, yeah…I use the wet wipes all the time. MUCH cleaner.

chyna's avatar

@Sarcasm Checking… Yep pretty clean.

Darwin's avatar

I love baths. Showers are just a chore, but a bath is a splendid and relaxing undertaking. However, I do typically take two baths – a quick one to get clean, and then a long soak to relax and enjoy.

SeventhSense's avatar

@uberbatman
No doubt. We are not immune from germs by any means and excessive bathing/showering is probably worse for us than people realize. It does make sense to disinfect the shower heads though. They say plastic holds even more microbes.

majorrich's avatar

Just got smote ‘cause the whole world is thinking about ass juice. ow.

SeventhSense's avatar

The question may be why do you feel so dirty that soaking in steaming water will not wash away your dirtiness. Do you have a TV show?

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

I have to pipe in here, amused by what @SeventhSense wrote about feeling so dirty. If we bathe every day then just how much filth can an average person accumulate in 12/24 hours? I mean, unless I’ve been out in dust and muck and sweating then there’s just a little sweat to soap off and a freshening of the nether bits, I don’t even shampoo my hair every time I bathe and I have a reputation for being very ‘pleasant’ smelling, neat and clean. C’mon people, sit you asses in the tub and embrace the ecstasy of becoming dizzy, feeling sweat roll down your face and the best of the best… soapy boobies and butt cheeks rubbing on you. There, I said it.

SeventhSense's avatar

mmmm soapy boobies

chyna's avatar

mmmm soapy guy parts

pinkparaluies's avatar

Whaaaat. Its just a bath. I LOVE Baths. But I always.. shower myself off afterward. Is that strange?
I doubt many men would be turned away from a woman soup. hahaha

SeventhSense's avatar

There’s nothing like the Babe bouillabaisse.

Darwin's avatar

@majorrich – And you don’t want to join her? Not even for a little bit?

pinkparaluies's avatar

Also.. I’m sure that your wife keeps her butt cleaner than you do. I dont know where “butt juices” came from.

SeventhSense's avatar

I love bathing with a dirty girl.

Grisaille's avatar

Wanna hear a dirty joke?

A boy falls in the mud.

Wanna hear a clean joke?

Boy takes a bath with bubbles.

Wanna hear a dirty joke?

Bubbles was the girl next door.

Audio Cue

SeventhSense's avatar

@Grisaille
Lurve for another amusing link

majorrich's avatar

@Darwin Nah! having way too much fun out here on this thread! Whoda thunk.And we wouldn’t fit

SeventhSense's avatar

@pinkparaluies
I think butt juices come from juicy butts.

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

I have always thought baths were disgusting. Sitting in your own dirt and dead skin and BUTT juices…Gross. I opt for a shower. Always.

SeventhSense's avatar

A lot of people are proving my theory about hangups..

Parrappa's avatar

Maybe she’s quite fond of her butt?

majorrich's avatar

I am terribly sorry if I ruined anyone’s enjoyment of baths. For some they are a great pleasure. I am just really twisted.

Darwin's avatar

On that note, I am going to go take a bath.

Sarcasm's avatar

@Parrappa What? are you crazy? every woman on earth wonders if XYZ dress makes her butt look fat. No way any woman is secure in how her butt looks!
@SeventhSense Your theory about hangups?

SeventhSense's avatar

Must wash away dirty thoughts. Can’t get butt clean….must rinse…:P

Grisaille's avatar

Yeah. I’m going to start wiping my ass with brillo from now on.

THANKS GUYS

SeventhSense's avatar

Yes, but the water must be boiling to the point of drawing the poisonous toxins out of the offending nether region.

majorrich's avatar

There is no way I am installing a bidet in this house! My foot is firmly planted.

drdoombot's avatar

I haven’t had a bath in years. I used to enjoy the occasional hot soak. If you shower first, what’s the problem?

It’s quite relaxing.

rockstargrrrlie's avatar

@casheroo I ALWAYS use the moist wipes for myself. lol.

pinkparaluies's avatar

Just took an amazing bath. Bask in my post-ass juice glory.

Psychedelic_Zebra's avatar

The shower form of bathing was invented during Victorian times. Many a regular bather remarked they would only enter a shower with an umbrella. How far we’ve come, eh?

Sarcasm's avatar

today’s a real staircase wit day for me. And I’d link the wiki entry to that but it’s a french word and the apostrophes break Fluther’s hyperlinking abilities.

@hungryhungryhortence If we bathe every day then just how much filth can an average person accumulate in 12/24 hours?
We accumulate enough filth for us to demand a shower every 12/24 hours.

SpatzieLover's avatar

I bathe daily. I also wipe well. I do not get any comfort from the shower. I will shower first if I’ve gotten muddy feet in the garden, otherwise, I always use the hand-held shower to thoroughly rinse my hair and bod off after soaking and soaping up. As far as I know, I have no butt juice infiltrating my bath water. And, I believe that is because I soak my butt in a bath daily.

@majorrich This Q is Hall Of Fluther material for certain! LURVE!

SeventhSense's avatar

@Sarcasm
We accumulate enough filth for us to demand a shower every 12/24 hours.
That’s debatable… unless of course you’re working out hard.

majorrich's avatar

Which is more effective, wadding or folding? This might be another thread, but it just fits here.

chyna's avatar

@majorrich Wadding or folding what?

Sarcasm's avatar

@SeventhSense Do you generally shower every day?

@chyna toilet paper I bet. Folding, of course. Wadding is weird.

majorrich's avatar

The paper of wiping.

chyna's avatar

Folding.

casheroo's avatar

Wadding. Less chance of contact.

SpatzieLover's avatar

Wadding. That would be another good one @majorrich!

majorrich's avatar

EWWWW digital penetration!

majorrich's avatar

We’ll keep the butt juice here, start a wiping efficacy thread started.

majorrich's avatar

Nope the moderators will not accept an efficacy thread.

SpatzieLover's avatar

@majorrich How did you word it?

I’d ask it like this:

Do you wad, fold or wrap your toilet paper?

Then, add a link to this question in your description.

majorrich's avatar

I’m afraid I got angry and worded it something like ‘when preparing for a bath, how would a moderator do it?” Did I mention I have a quick temper some time?

SpatzieLover's avatar

@majorrich I understand. I have a short fuse. When I first arrived here I was moderated a couple of times and wondered what the hell I did wrong! I realized if I just changed the wording a bit my questions or answers were fine.

majorrich's avatar

not much help was offered. so I didn’t know what was they wanted.

SeventhSense's avatar

@Sarcasm
Generally but not always. I sweat very little. Except for when I work out like tonight, so of course I shower.
I barely have underarm sweat and I attribute that to never having gotten addicted to anti-perspirant but just use deodorant. Anti perspirants actually exacerbate perspiration after their efficacy expires. Likewise 90% of soaps rob your skin of natural oils and dry out your epidermis. Americans shower way too much.

NewZen's avatar

Would a soft drink called butt juice ever sell?

Darwin's avatar

No. It sounds too much like the liquid found in a spitoon.

majorrich's avatar

There are a couple Japanese drinks called CalPis and Midori Sweat. Both are essentially sugar water, but the names didn’t translate very well. As a kid, when Calpis came out it was a fermented milk product that was mixed with water, somehow I remember it was mildly carbonated, but I could be mixing up memories. We lived in Fusa, very near Tachikawa Air Force Base. Thats where Dad worked. Later we moved there. I was seven at the time.

majorrich's avatar

We did have public bath houses we went to as a family. Mom would scrub us kids down with a surprisingly stiff bristle brush, followed by a towel off and a rinse, then we would get in a great huge tub that I remember had a wooden bottom. I think now that was where the heating element was. We had cool cloths we put on the top of our heads, presumably to prevent brain damage from the Heatstroke. I think the heat was enough to kill all forms of bacteria or flora known to man. (of course this is a 40+year old memory) My butt seemed pretty sterile after a soak in that tub.

SeventhSense's avatar

I knew there was some ancient history here…
call it my seventh sense methinks the heebie jeebies have naught to do with butt juice

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