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wundayatta's avatar

When you didn't get what you really, really wanted, how did you deal with the disappointment?

Asked by wundayatta (58367 points ) November 8th, 2009

This may sound trivial, but it’s a small example of what I’m interested in. My teams just lost some very big games, and when that happens, I feel a kind of anxious hollow inside. It’s frustrating, and I can’t do a darn thing about it.

But what about life’s more serious disappointments and frustrations? Can you describe one of those moments in your life and how you felt and what you did? How long did it take you to get over the disappointment? What did you do to try to make the frustration diminish faster? What have you learned about dealing with the major disappointments of life?

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20 Answers

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

You can’t always get what you want but if you try sometimes you just might find, you get what you need.

It’s an old Rolling Stones tune but the point there is that the world doesn’t give us everything we want and we just have to deal with that lest we get overly attached to our desires.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I think that there must be a reason, of which I might not yet be aware of, that I did not get something I believed I wanted and I hope that it will reveal itself sooner than later

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@The_Compassionate_Heretic I love that that line was used in the first ever episode of House

eponymoushipster's avatar

stupid eagles

jsammons's avatar

When I was a kid and I didn’t get what I wanted for Christmas, I was disappointed but was over it the next day like most kids. As far as major disappointments, I just let bigons be bigons and move on. I mean, there’s no need to sit and think about how disapointed you are because that gets you no where and makes matters worse.

@The_Compassionate_Heretic I would give the Stones the GA but I guess you can pass it along for me :P

smack's avatar

cry, eat, self-mutilation. i’ve always been one to dwell upon the “what-if“s after huge disappointments, as terrible as it is for you. but i’m still somehow alive, against all odds.

Facade's avatar

I normally wallow for a little while, and then I’m over it. Not by choice, mind you, but because my memory isn’t great, which causes me to forget things. A blessing and a curse, I suppose.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

@smack Please don’t self mutilate. It’s not worth it.

rangerr's avatar

I quit being a Skins fan today.

jonsblond's avatar

I threw my phone across the room on St. Patricks Day this year when I didn’t get what I wanted.

I am now stuck with the Irish Jig as a ring tone until i can afford a new phone. :(

smack's avatar

@The_Compassionate_Heretic thanks… but old habits die hard. :/

Grisaille's avatar

Damn Yankees.

Oh wait…

/smug

rooeytoo's avatar

I am like @Facade, I may sulk and fume for a while, but then I forget and I’m off on something else. What other choice is there really???

Psychedelic_Zebra's avatar

@jonsblond LOL, you sound like my wife; she has a temper too, but the good thing is that her aim sucks, and she throws like a girl.

DominicX's avatar

Kinda like @Facade as well. I sulk for a while, but then I’m over it. I’ve learned not to wallow in self-pity; it gets you nowhere and it’s a waste of time. But while I’m sulking about it, like @smack, I dwell on the “what if“s like crazy, because often, there is something I could’ve done that would’ve gotten me what I wanted, but I didn’t do it. Still, I get over it.

Tink's avatar

I am sad and mad the whole day. Then I go to sleep angry and when I wake up I forget about it for a while, then I look at what I got instead and start cry. But I get over it.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

For a football game it doesn’t go away. I’m still frustrated that Wests Tigers missed the finals by one point.

For something I can control, even if it is more serious, I can move on quicker. I tell myself that there are other ways to get what I want, and I get up and do it – unless its exams, then I procrastinate and get a little bogged down in stress.
A few years back I was rejected by a girl I liked. It hurt a lot, but it only took me two weeks to realise it was better that way simply because I could control the situation.

onesecondregrets's avatar

After being disappointed and let down so much in life disappointment really doesn’t phase me any more. I expect to be let down or disappointed, then if things actually do work out it’s even more on the up and up than if I had thought opposite about the situation. Before I had this mindset I used to either place the blame on a person or myself or the circumstance. It’s not worth it. Much easier on the head if you just keep going on. You can’t fight feelings, they come as they please so you feel the disappointment then brush yourself off.

deni's avatar

Yup. Sulk for a little bit then get over it. I use the reasoning “If I won’t be sad/mad about this in a year, it’s not worth being sad/mad over now”. and almost every time, it’s not something that’s worth dwelling on, so I forget about it and MOOOVE ON.

drdoombot's avatar

Quite a few years ago, when I didn’t get what I wanted, I stayed in my bed moping and put Bush’s Comedown on repeat for over twenty-four hours.

Since then, I’ve learned to have realistic expectations instead of high expectations, so if I don’t get what I want, I feel disappointed for a short while, then move on to the next thing.

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