What's weird energy with other people about? (in my case, a sexual question)

You want to shut her up with sex? LOLLLLLL Well, that’s one way to do it.

Do you think she has any of those feelings for you? Would she be accepting if you took her out? I mean, you can’t just jump her bones. You have to lead up to it. Feel her out (no pun intended, haha) & see if you can get a take on HER feelings. You never know….

An understandable desire – most animals don’t date first. I think that sometimes people have a strange natural compatibility, and I think this is the “energy” you’re talking about. Classic Froidian id vs. superego scenario.

@kevbo Could have something to do with pheromones. I sometimes will see a picture of video of someone and have no attraction to them, but as soon as I’m near them my mind says “Take her,” and vice versa. Sexual attraction is strange, complicated thing…

But I definitely see this concept manifest in non-sexual situations too. Sometimes I just get vibes, for no reason whatsoever, that I’d really like to know a person, like their personality is one that I’d enjoy understanding, though it’s not sexual at all. And of course I get bad vibes too, an overwhelming feeling of distaste for a person for no apparent reason.

I guess it’s just the animal in us.

@jfos, true (and not to be argumentative), but they do preen and perform. There is usually some period of courting involved.

I’ve no idea really, but would love someone to feel like that about me thinking about it…(I’m thinking it’s purely a man thing…?) but a compelling and intriguing question! ...and I’m sticking around to find out!!

@lynneblundell, even if I didn’t find you attractive and didn’t want a relationship (beyond friendship & getting pounded)? Just curious.

…hmmm…perhaps not…but really…. is there NO attraction at all? None at all?? :-(

It’s mostly indifference to her looks vs. something like repulsion. In any other case, I would be grateful to be friends with someone like her because there would be no tension.

@kevbo It sounds like there’s some anger in your reaction to her; are you sure the feelings are sexual or as you pretty much say, just a desire to dominate her and shut her up?

@kevbo ; I was going to say something like what @trumi said. It sounds like some base animal instinct is going on, and the two of you probably have compatible genes to make strong offspring, even if you wouldn’t get along that well on a personal level. Rise above your animal instincts and resist!!!!

@janbb, well, yeah, it’s aggressive, and there are things and people in life I get angry about, but she doesn’t make me angry. She obviously has weaknesses and maybe that’s part of it, but I’ve generally avoided opening that door with women who present me with neediness or weakness. I don’t know, maybe it is about some kind of power or dominance, but it’s not so much about hurting as consuming. It’s like wanting to shove someone’s essence in your mouth to sate a craving.

(if it’s an anger thing it’s kind of scary to think about that being connected to my equipment.)

@Judi, you make me laugh you’re so cute. “Woman. You make strong kevbo offspring.” Enter Clan of the Cave Bear.

Incidentally, I used to be a rise above your instincts kind of guy, but I wish I could get past that sometimes. It’s another ongoing internal debate.

well… I’m not so sure… I think @Judi has probably hit the nail on the head with something there…genetics

@kevbo If it’s any help or support, I have more of a belief in powerful instincts now than I used to, too. The difficulty can be in deciding whether they’re worth acting on or not.

Chemicals work between the two of you. Your choice of want in expression though? Kinda scary but I’ve been in a few situations like that, kinda hot and kinda scary; I much preferred the kinda hot one. Be careful.

@janbb, thanks. I appreciate that. Usually it’s a matter of me not knowing how to or hesitating with getting the ball rolling even when I really want to. In this case, it’s wanting to let fly a delicious dodgeball shot (on a respected opponent).

@kevbo If you want my two cents, this sure sounds like a head for the hills scenario.

@janbb, et al, probably quite true. If I talk it out here, maybe I can forget about it IRL.

you and me baby ain’t nothin’ but mammals…

Sorry, I had to.

Occasionally over the last couple of decades or so, I have felt some kind of unreasoning attraction between me and someone else. I never try to do anything about it, so I don’t know if I’m imagining it or if it’s real. It would be kind of weird to make a move and be rejected. But I’ve never had to worry about that—being married and all.

It’s an interesting feeling. I get this sure feeling that she really likes me. I mean, really likes me. Yet, since I do nothing, I can never know for sure.

Sometimes it is from a woman who seems damaged in some way or another. I don’t know what I would do if I was single. I would hope I would not get involved in that kind of drama. I would hope I know better than to get together with someone like me. I have a sneaking suspicion, though, that I would either think I could handle it, or I wouldn’t care what happened; I just wanted the intensity.

I once had an employee with drama. I thought I could handle her, but I was never so relieved as when her year was up. I am attracted to crazy people, but being involved with them is not conducive to stability.

I met a guy like this years ago. We worked together and from the first day we met there was an unbelievable chemistry. For several years, while I was in another relationship, we would flirt innocently but the heat was always there and apparent to others around us. After my relationship ended, he and I spent time together. It was intoxicating and consuming. We fit amazingly and were into all the same stuff. We were on fire together! It was hot but burnt out quickly. We were crazy about each other but I think both really glad when it ended. He was not a life soulmate, but I enjoyed myself and wouldn’t change the time we spent.

I can’t explain what this energy is but I know it is real and amazing. I relate to your story and wish you the best. As long as you’re not hurting anyone else and she’s into it- Why not go for it! Enjoy the lust and passion and have safe fun!

She’s also someone whom I really (and honestly) don’t find compellingly attractive, and she’s not at all my type. But here’s the thing… when I get around her, I feel a very unusual (for me) compulsion to throw her down and have dirty, rough, dominant sex with her.

Explain this to her, in these ^^ terms. It’s a win/win. You’ve blurted it out in a way that doesn’t beat around the bush (no pun intended) and either:

a) It will be out there, talked about, laughed over, and diffused of it’s mysterious energy.

or

b) You’ll get some very satisfying, female submissive sex which you seem to be craving anyway.

you’re welcome

doesn’t Kevbo have a girlfriend though?

Yes, but it’s a semi-permeable relationship. Anyway, I want to know what this is about regardless.

Dude, your dick has Stockholm Syndrome . . . it happens.

Who cares why? Do it.

@kellylet I had that with someone too but lasted a few months although the energy was amazing and even thinking about it now, it’s like nothing else I’ve ever experienced, but there_was_ attraction there, which I think is a little different to what @kevbo is talking about… I can’t imagine at all wanting to ravish someone that I found repulsive, which is why I think it must be purely a man thing…some kind of psychosis no offence intended at all kevbo!!, a genetic thing or…there is always the option that there really is some attraction there that kevbo is denying x

@Simone_De_Beauvoir, you are quite the little devil on my shoulder. ;-)

@lynneblundell, none taken. Fire away.

Yes, this can happen sometimes. Facial expressions and the tone of voice can transfer “weird energy” and there are real physiological responses (maybe caused by the so-called mirror neurons in the receiver’s brain). If people are too weird and especially overly negative and destructive I try to avoid them.

@kevbo oh my god, by all means, glad to be of service.

@kevbo I was thinking today that if you do decide to act on this, you should be sure the woman understands where you are coming from. If she really is an unattractive girl, you may cause her a lot of pain if she thinks you really like her and you are just acting on your “weird energy” thing.

Oh yeah, I never make a move without that being clear.