Should I be taking my mom's comments this hard?
I’ve never gotten along with my mother. She is not kind, considerate, nurturing, or selfless. Most who know her would agree. She’s also very negative.
For the last two years or so, my mother has insisted on making comments about my weight. I’m the first to admit that I absolutely am overweight. I would not, however call myself obese, and certainly not morbidly obese, and neither do my doctors.
I do see a doctor regularly for a thyroid problem that has contributed some to my recent weight gain. Thyroid is now under control with meds. I get regular blood work from there and now, from my midwives to check for sugar levels- all are normal. I’ve had cholesterol screenings which have been normal. Blood pressure- fantastic. And my mother knows all of this.
Yet, every time I talk to her, she insists on squeezing in these grating criticizing comments disguised as concern.
“You know your great-great-grandfather had diabetes.”
“Are you still thirsty? You know that’s a sign of diabetes.” -after drinking one glass of water
“Have you considered lap band surgery?”
“How do you get housework done with your weight, and now your pregnancy on top of that?”
The last two were asked of me yesterday over the phone and I just broke down. I cried for nearly two hours.
My question exactly is, are these comments really bugging me because of our relationship, or are they really as harsh as I think they are?
I don’t know that talking to her about this is part of the solution. Talking to her is like standing in front of a firing squad. She resorts to unbearable Gish Gallop and there’s no reasoning with her. I’d just like some reassurance that I’m right, or if I’m not, how to get over it.
P.S. Many of you know that I am pregnant (5½ mos.) so I’m willing to accept that it’s just my hormones if that’s your opinion.
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