Social Question

IBERnineD's avatar

A sex question for the male Jellies...

Asked by IBERnineD (7248 points ) November 16th, 2009

Let’s say it’s your first time having sex with a girl, and when you initially enter she says, “Oh wow, you are bigger than I thought you’d be”

How do you take that? Would that bother you? Or maybe make you feel better? Or would your game be thrown off? Would it turn you on that she was thinking about it? What would you say to that?

Just wondering…

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77 Answers

stratman37's avatar

Yeah, I can see the potential for the backhanded compliment, but it’s better than “is it in yet?

cookieman's avatar

I would take it as a compliment. Then proceed confidently as I gently placed her ankles on my shoulders.

damn, I wish I smoked now

RandomMrdan's avatar

it’s almost as if she assumed I’d be small? And knowing I’m an “average” guy, I know I’m not “huge”. I wouldn’t really take it as a compliment, but it wouldn’t bother me either. I’d probably laugh a bit to myself, and keep going, or ask her if she needed me to slow down a bit for her….maybe she’s just really small?

Grisaille's avatar

* waits for @gggritso to answer *

gggritso's avatar

I would never ever have the balls to say ”Well, try not to gag on it later.”

jfos's avatar

Hmm… I think that it’s a compliment for sure. Also, I would say something funny like “You should see me on Thursdays.”

IBERnineD's avatar

@gggritso lol4rl Oh man.

cyn's avatar

If I were a guy, I would be flattered.

derekfnord's avatar

I would place no significance on it at all. It could mean anything or nothing.

Admittedly though, I see why it might seem like damning with faint praise. Now, if she’d said, “Oh wow, you’re even bigger than I thought you’d be…” that would be a compliment… ;-)

MrItty's avatar

It’s not a compliment, as it’s not something you have any control over. If you feel “complimented” by someone telling you you have a large penis, you may as well feel complimented for someone telling you you’re tall, or have brown hair, or are X years old. It’s not something you achieved. It’s just something you are.

As for how I’d take it, it’d probably throw me a bit, as I’d start worrying that she was in pain or something.

Facade's avatar

@MrItty Following your logic, no one should be complimenting anyone on any inherent trait…

And if I were a guy, my reaction would be based on my actual size.

oratio's avatar

It would make me glad, and I would be happy that she had been thinking about me in a sexual way.

It depends on if she seems pleased about it though. If not, I’d probably try to downplay the size of it. “Well, it’s not that big”.

MrItty's avatar

@Facade Absolutely correct. It is likewise idiotic to take “pride” in an inherent trait. You have no control over it. Pride and compliments are for something you’ve achieved, a goal you’ve reached, an ability you’ve mastered. Not things that exist because of the random combination of sperm and ova that spawned your existence.

cookieman's avatar

@MrItty: You are such a romantic.

Grisaille's avatar

@gggritso never disappoints.

Hear that, ladies?

Grisaille's avatar

…or gentlemen?

trogdor_87's avatar

@Mrltty
people don’t really take pride in it, I see it more as others having envy for them. But I also understand what your saying.

Sarcasm's avatar

I’d wonder how big she thought I was previously.

Or perhaps it was just her “first one” so maybe she wouldn’t know how big to expect in general (I know I was baffled by the first pair of tits I held).

MrItty's avatar

@cprevite what does complimenting one’s sexual organ’s girth have to do with romance?

wundayatta's avatar

Oh, I used to get that all the time before I was married. I took it as a compliment. The ladies took it as best they could. I never heard any complaints! ~

cookieman's avatar

@MrItty: More specifically “inherent trait(s)” as you described.

Your eyes are blue sea glass that startle me every time I see your face.

The softness of your skin makes me want to hold on forever and forget the world.

All about “inherent trait(s)”, but who wouldn’t feel complimented after hearing that?

OR, if you must be specific to this question:

The girth of your schlong is such that it makes my toes curl just thinking about it.

gottamakeart's avatar

It is much more complimentary than “OW!”(which kinda breaks the mood) although it is not from a female…......

avvooooooo's avatar

Girl here. :) Some girls think they can estimate based on various things. Fingers, hands, frame size, shoe size, various things. Very few are good at it. I’m one of the very few. I’ve only been surprised twice, once in either direction. If she was pleasantly surprised it means either you’re bigger than she estimated because she’s bad at it or your various factors belie you.

casheroo's avatar

question: did she not see the said penis before it entered her? I find this part to be confusing

Naked_Homer's avatar

A chance for humor.

I doubt someone I would get intimate with would say it in a mean way.

nxknxk's avatar

So it’s, like, what, House of Leaves? Bigger inside than it appears on the outside? Stupid book, sorry.

I’d feel okay about it.

mistered's avatar

It depends on the connotation. Is she saying it like she’s happy, or in pain? The tone in which it is said means everything.

Dr_C's avatar

I would certainly take it as a compliment but not give it much importance. I’d still try to focus on helping whichever i was having sex with at the time discover their endless supply of orgasms. and then have a smoke.

breedmitch's avatar

Ha ha! Why would I be having sex with a girl? lol4rl

IBERnineD's avatar

@casheroo it was dark

@mistered it was said in a good way

janbb's avatar

I’m a woman and just want to say if she wasn’t gasping in pain, it was a compliment.

augustlan's avatar

I love this question. And @gggritso, too. ;-)

andrew's avatar

Am I the only one who thinks this isn’t a compliment?

It’s the “than I thought you’d be” that makes it backhanded. If it were me, I’d be thinking, “well, what about me makes you think I’d have a small penis?”

Remainder of comment edited due to decorum.

OutOfTheBlue's avatar

How the hell could you get as far as penetration with out knowing the size in the first place? Or is this a rare case of “I slipped and fell in”.....

drdoombot's avatar

This question surprises me; don’t people look at each other’s bodies before sex? I know that I always “look before I leap” so to speak.

Your girl should have seen that it was bigger before it ever entered her.

avvooooooo's avatar

@IBERnineD said “it was dark”

@andrew Probably a general estimation based on your shoe size (wrong).

filmfann's avatar

One of the nicest things I think anyone has ever told me was from a MILF, or technically a MIF.
First time in bed, she looked down and said “Where did THAT come from?” She was genuinely shocked.

Zaku's avatar

That has always been a good thing in my experience.

avvooooooo's avatar

I have this friend… He’s only about 5’5” and has a rather small frame. Anyway, he kept saying “my big dick” in conversation. I called bullshit and so he flopped out this FOOT LONG MONSTER. First thing I said was “Where the HELL did that come from?” and the second was “You’re not getting that thing ANYWHERE near me!!!” Most times, being surprised is a good thing. Sometimes its not. But only if its freakishly outsized to the rest of a person’s body. NOBODY would think that kind of thing was hiding in this guy’s pants by looking at him.

Blondesjon's avatar

I would be done way before all of that.

Kraigmo's avatar

It sounds like she’s happy when that kinda thing is said. I never psychoanalyze those kinds of compliments when given, that only kills the vibe. And if she’s happy, I’m happy.

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

I would think.. “really? ... cuz… it’s the same thing you’ve had for the past 10 years and I haven’t been taking any Enzyte..

Dr_C's avatar

@NaturalMineralWater so no swell of pride for you?~

avvooooooo's avatar

@Dr_C Not a chubby Santa for Xmas this year either!

Facade's avatar

@NaturalMineralWater Some men fluctuate in length and girth

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

@Dr_C & @Facade Some women do too. Childbirth is good for that one.

casheroo's avatar

@NaturalMineralWater That’s a common misconception.

Facade's avatar

@casheroo I can see why it’s so common. How can an 8lb being passing through you not stretch you out (at least a little)?

casheroo's avatar

@Facade Because it’s what your vagina was meant to do, and nature takes it’s course. The muscles go back to normal, and yes they can change..but they usually change as in being tighter than ever (many mother’s I’ve talked to have this issue, and have to use lube for a while.) Your body is amazing at repairing itself after such “trauma”.

Facade's avatar

@casheroo Good to know. Do you know if core exercise has any bearing on this? I’ve heard it helps with delivery.

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

@casheroo You’ll have to just trust me bud… it’s not a misconception.. XD

casheroo's avatar

@Facade I’ve only ever heard of doing Kegel’s, which are never a bad thing to do. Also, when it comes to vaginal delivery, perianal massage can be quite helpful so it can stretch without tearing, which can damage the muscle. But, not enough to change a woman’s entire vagina and sexual experience. Of course it may feel different for a little bit, like the first six weeks..but it does go back to normal.
@NaturalMineralWater If you’re referring to your own wife or whatever, then I feel badly for her that you feel that way.

eponymoushipster's avatar

usually i hear something more along the lines of “are you part horse?” or “are you a relative of milton berle?”

Dr_C's avatar

@eponymoushipster because of the hooves and the whinny voice?

breedmitch's avatar

@Dr C: I was gonna say “big teeth” and “dressed in drag”.

IBERnineD's avatar

@Dr_C and @breedmitch I am laughing too hard right now

avvooooooo's avatar

@Dr_C @breedmitch I was thinking it was the smell.

breedmitch's avatar

Milton Berle had a smell?

avvooooooo's avatar

Kinda like Bengay and cabbage.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@Dr_C no, because i rock it standing up and have a shiny coat. and you usually have to put hay down for the mess.

Dr_C's avatar

@eponymoushipster that works also

robmandu's avatar

Ahem, did you – ahem – your friend meet this guy on the tennis court?

IBERnineD's avatar

@robmandu hahahahahhahahah no

janbb's avatar

and another serious question degenerates into nothing:-)

IBERnineD's avatar

@janbb I was prepared for this question to do exactly that :)

janbb's avatar

oh sure, it was a given.

oratio's avatar

@IBERnineD Can I ask – if it’s not too personal – why did you have sex in the dark? I am curious, cause I like to see the one I make love too.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@oratio your glory hole has lights?

SpatzieLover's avatar

@NaturalMineralWater hmpfh! Maybe this is why your wife is mad & swears at you?!

oratio's avatar

@eponymoushipster Oh, I see what you mean. No, mine is not better.

IBERnineD's avatar

@oratio I actually prefer to have sex with the lights on, but it was night and we had been drinking, and we were too lazy to turn on the lights, stuff just happened.

robmandu's avatar

< < a fan of when stuff just happens. And we get to hear about it on Fluther. In humorous detail.

What else you got?

phil196662's avatar

If she said that to me I would say “I will be gentle with my Love Stick”.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

In my case, the first time with my lady this was a genuine concern. It had nothing to do with size though. She had suffered injuries from previous abuse that had required surgery and extensive aftercare to heal. I was extremely worried about the possibility of causing her pain. We dealt with this by her always being “on top” and in total control of the degree, speed, rhythm, etc. of penetration. We approached this very slowly and stopped at whatever point she experienced any pain.

choreplay's avatar

The word “bigger” is better in any context or use. I would react to that statement by getting even a little bigger. ;) Once a girl said this to me and I was flattered.

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