I just want to be friends with my girlfriend?

Be gentle, be kind, be considerate of her feelings.

I understand it is hard. But you gotta understand it would be hard for her too, and some people cannot simply go back to being friends because it is too painful and such. So while you may want to she may not and you may have to do her a favour and walk away clean.

It’s not an easy thing to do, but if you are kind and gentle with her you might be able to pull it off. She won’t be able to simply switch off the girlfriend switch or put it on dimmer to become only friends, so you will have to understand if you tell her that you don’t want to go out with her anymore, she will be very hurt.

Before I go any further with this, I have to ask… If you enjoy being around her, and you want her in your life as a friend, what is it about her that makes you feel like you don’t want her to be your girlfriend anymore? You should really think hard about the answer to this question, because I’m sure she will ask you as well.

Im sure she will ask. I be as gentle as i can. I am trying to end it nicely and thought I would come here to see what advice you great people have to say.
Just a 6 hour long trip to see her, and she is not active enough for me, she will sit on the computer all day or just lie in bed till 10pm every day, where as i like to get up and go do stuff! she doesnt do too many activities the same as me. infact she doesnt do much at all and seems demotivated in life, ive tried to help her out in the last 6 months or so but it keep going foward one step then back again a week or two later.

She’s not going to understand. If she’s in love with you, and you’re not with her, that’s all she’ll see. This will be impossible, or really hard to pull off. I’m leaning toward impossible. She will always want more.

@lostman101, despite your best intentions, it will not work out the way you hope, which is unfortunate, because your reasons are quite valid. Just the distance alone is enough to make the relationship non-workable. Is this an internet based relationship, or did it start out in RL? Have you always lived that far apart, or is the distance new because of school?

From the way you describe her behavior, it sounds like she might have some depression going on. Is the inertia a new thing, or has it always been there?

We have always lived this far apart, but summer is coming a long, she has just finished her first year of university and is now leaving and starting a job meaning even less time for each other, we started out RL, talked through the internet and drove to see each other every few weeks. and the depression thing is going on, and its hard to deal with, she is going to councilling and stuff. So i hope that helps her out.

I would probably just focus on the distance issue as the reason for breaking up, and not use the personal differences. Distance relationships are hard enough to maintain when couples are compatible, but foolhardy when there’s not a lot there. You may need to make a clean break of it, and not contact her for awhile, and then check in on her to see how she’s doing.

kk thanks guys an gals

And, I assume by the fact that you are asking this here that, she, doesn’t want to just be friends? Any way to do some recon/intel—maybe she might feel the same way and just not be saying???