Am I wrong to be upset at my g/f about this?

I’m on your side on this one.

I can definitely see your reasoning

If you love something set it free. If it doesn’t come back, hunt it down and shoot it!

Maybe you can make her wear one of those transmitting ankle-bracelets they put on felons who are awaiting trial. I understand they include GPS now.

you are not wrong about this , but being right doesnt help in this case either, you got to determine if being with her is worth it, cause trust is a hard commodity to come by….

Maybe she forgave him. Simple as that.

You sound like too nice a guy for this gal, who is flirting with more than a friendship.

If it was after a lot of booze, ok, maybe she wrote it off as “booze slap.” If he does that or anything else more “fresh” with your girl, then I would speak up. Right now might be too soon for her to agree with you and a fight like that over another guy is going to heavily influence your relationship. I would wait and see if he does anything else before arguing with her over it.

I totally agree with you about not liking it. It would piss me off too but in terms of knowing when to fight with your girlfriend about a guy, I’d say give it a little. Especially since booze is involved. I personally don’t think she should be flirting so much, but I do know a lot of girls (including myself) who just get along better with guys than girls, and so tend to talk to boys as friends more often. I don’t know anything about you girlfriend to say if her talking with this guy is dangerous, but I know your argument won’t mean anything to her until there’s more evidence. I would just ask her to be more careful when drinking around these people. They may take advantage and then you’re more worried about her safety than her cheating.

I can see your problem and have had similar instances in the past (not that that counts for squat!).

I found that, in the end, you just have to tell the girl to shut up while you explain, and try to talk her through exactly how you feel. It’s not that you don’t trust her (I assume), it’s just that this whole thing makes you uncomfortable. That’s okay, you have a right to be and if she cares about you she will take this into account and cool things off with this guy slightly, at least until you get to a point where you are indeed comfortable with the situation.

Good luck :-)

I think her forgiving him for the slap and the two of them staying up talking until 5 Am are signs of interest and trouble in your relatinship. Those are not things “friends” do.

Staying up to talk until 5AM is something friends can do, actually, without romantic interest. Forgiving the slap… half and half.

@Iclamae Old friends, maybe. New friends of the opposite sex when one of them is in a committed relationship is a danger sign.

@Marina hrrrrrm, I suppose my only examples are with old friends. okay, fair enough.

You are not wrong in this. It is wrong that he slapped her a** because obviously she doesnt like it and she is in a relationship that doesn’t allow those things, like in mine it doesn’t really bother either of us things like that, however maybe he didn’t know she didn’t like it, so her forgiving him is understandable. Staying up til 5am from my experience shows she likes him more than a friend, I understand your concern there. That is supposed to be time for you two together, I am allowed to talk to who I want, do hat I want, and am totally free, however if I was to stay up with another guy til 5am and not give any attention to my husband, then he would definitely get his feelings hurt and wonder why i did that…...

Difficult one…you sound like a very open minded person who is willing to accept that in relationships the other person might have opposite sex friendships. It seems that your girlfriend is not being very respectful of your feelings.

Come on…having a brief conversation may be fair enough but a conversation that lasts until 5 am in the morning is totally taking advantage of your good nature. It appears to me that your girlfriend may be developing feelings for this man and is not yet ready to admit it.

Hope it all works out for you and you are both able to communicate and respect each others viewpoints.

I would not accept it if I were you. You gf was clearly giving her ex the attention she used to give him and that was why he slapped her ass. He wanted to see if she would like it and if she did, he would then know that he use possibly bring their relationship back to the way it was.

Any ex situation is messy man. I had a lot of bad experiences in these cases. They can still be friends, but often when a girl hangs out with an ex, regardless if they are just friends, they still have close feelings for them. I hate to tell you, but she probably still has feelings for him if she has been hanging out with him and then when you bring it up, she gets mad and tries to defend herself that she was not doing anything wrong.

You have all the right to react the way you have. The ultimate decision is hers though and if things keep going out of control, you have to move on and be the better person.

@mass_pike4 Just to clarify, it wasn’t her x b/f. It was some other guy.

I’d be upset at the other person, too, but mainly, I’d be thinking that perhaps my SO was developing feelings for someone else, and I’d gently ask about it.

I’m with @Marina on this one. Old guy friend, okay. New guy friend, not a good idea.

A girl who was physically playful with a guy (piggy back rides, extra chatty, flirty, etc.) when she had no intention of initiating a relationship is a bit of tease. Generally, a slap on the butt after that kind of playfulness usually leads to wrestling around, which can lead to… It sounds like she may have made it clear to this guy that she was just horsing around, but often these situations can easily get out of hand.

Maybe you should stop all that “it doesn’t bother me” stuff. There are certain things that someone shouldn’t be doing if they have a girlfriend or boyfriend. No one needs to go out and flirt all the time. She probably figures that she can do whatever she wants. Sometimes when you flirt with a guy (even if it’s just kidding around) the guy will start to think that the girl likes him, if she’s taking piggy back rides and whatnot then she must have made the guy really comfortable and that’s why he smacked her ass. She shouldn’t have been playing with him like that, what did she expect to happen?? You should be very upset about a lot of things

She is getting close to this guy. You are losing her.

Yeah, you should probably move on. Clearly she’s not mature or committed enough.

Does she present herself to the people she’s 3hrs away with that she has a boyfriend? Have you met any of her friends or classmates to confirm that you and she “exist” as a couple out there? Being flirtatious and having fun away from a partner is one thing but tormenting them with things they can’t participate in is another. I think it’s kind of sadistic and immature she tells you these things knowing you can’t be there.

@hungryhungryhortence I’ve met a few of her friends there, and yes all of her friends (including the guy in question) know I exist and she has never lied about or hidden my existence to anyone there.

@dazedandconfused Nah I don’t think that’s the case. At all.

@westy81585: Then I’d say she’s just having fun and being a little careless of your feelings, forgetting how far away you are and not able to be the one doing the piggybacking and hanging out. Why don’t you tell her now it kind of hurts your feelings to hear about the fun she has with other people (specifically the guys), just admit it? She’ll know you care about your relationship to her, she might stop to think a bit deeper of your feelings/emotions.

yeah dude i back you up on this one completely except i might add i probably would have already beat this other dude down and maybe even pushed him down a flight of stairs call me anger management if you want but that’s me

@hungryhungryhortence Well I don’t mind that she goes out and has fun with other people. In fact I wouldn’t have it any other way, I want her to be happy where she is. My unhappiness is pretty much 100% with her hanging out with this guy.

and @master_mind413 nice, lol…. not my style though

@westy81585: That’s understandable and fair of you but never ever forget… “it takes two” for any things to happen you wouldn’t be happy about.

I think the best way to deal with this is to start chillin with a girl you know and let her see this ,it wont be long until she gets mad and then you work it out , or you don’t and its bye bye.