Have you (when will you) told (tell) your kids about sex and what did (will) you say?

I told the truth all the time, adjusting a little for age. And I had an anatomy and physiology textbook that was always at hand. And my kids have had sex in my house. I don’t find sex this big, ugly no-no. Late 60’s. Sex, drugs, and rock’n roll!

@faye how did you utilize the textbook? to what extent?

When I answered a question, I would use the pictures of the reproductive system. And a penis was called a penis. My book also has the see thru ‘plates’ that allow you to start with the innards and layer the pages on top, so they were mostly interested in that. I think if you answer a sex question in the same way you would answer most other questions, you can’t go wrong.

I will talk to my kids about sex, std’s, condoms, etc when they are at an appropriate age. I will also provide condoms and any other forms of birth control needed.
As far as allowing my teenagers to have sex in the house, I’m not sure if I’ll ever be okay with that. Maybe when they’re older (around the the age of 17) I’ll be more willing to accept sex under my roof. But I can’t imagine ever allowing my young teen to have sex in the house, especially if there is a chance that one of my other younger kids might discover it. Imagine having to hear your teen moaning and heavily breathing while having intercourse! Oh my! That’s something I’ll never be able to handle. And I don’t know any parent that could!

My kids are still young, but my daughter knows about sex. We had “the talk” when she was seven or eight. I read her this great book called Boys, Girls, and Body Science.. The book discusses reproduction using all the correct terms and in a way that gives kids permission to be grossed out a little while encouraging them to think like scientists. For example, scientists don’t say “Yuck!” they say “Innnnnteresting!” Anyway, the discussion went well and she didn’t have many questions. Since then, we’ve also talked about what to expect from puberty. She’s almost 11 and will probably get her first period sometime in the next year or so. She knows about body hair, breasts, having a period, and body odor.

Sometimes she comes to me with questions, usually about body development, and I always answer honestly.

We haven’t gotten into any discussion of STD’s or birth control, but we’ve talked about inappropriate touching, how no one is allowed to lay a finger on her anywhere without her consent, and what to do or say should she ever feel uncomfortable with the way someone is treating her.

I have this other book (can you tell I’m big on books?!) called It’s So Amazing which goes into much more detail about sex and puberty. It’s a fantastic resource. There are chapters about STDs, birth control, homosexuality, masturbation, adoption, molestation, and pretty much any other topic related to sex that a kid could have questions about. I haven’t given my daughter the book yet or read it with her, but I’m sure we’ll cover those topics over the next couple of years.

Oh, we’ve also talked about homosexuality. She feels very strongly that gay marriage is a civil right and gets so upset she almost cries when she talks about people who love each other not being allowed to marry. God, I love that kid!

My boys are younger, 4 and 6, and have so far been content with being told “when a mommy and daddy love each other, their love makes a baby grow.” Maybe not totally PC these days, and not really consistent with what they’ve seen on Animal Planet, but when they start to question that we’ll be perfectly honest with them.

As for the kids someday having sex in my house, I don’t see myself being at all comfortable with that. In fact, I hope they all go through a very long awkward phase during which they suddenly become very shy and therefore don’t date until college. Or grad school. I just personally believe that most teens aren’t emotionally prepared for sex, aren’t mature enough to always be responsible, and should wait to have sex. However, I’m realistic enough to know that while I can encourage them to wait, I need to arm them with the information they need to be safe. I do plan on making sure they know they can come to me or my husband for anything, and I’ll probably keep condoms someplace at home where they can have them. And hell yeah, I’ll be counting them obsessively!

If anyone had told me years ago that being a mom would turn me into a conservative prude, I never would have believed them. :(

@MissAusten I, too, am big on books and those are great finds – thank you!

I’m still trying to work up the nerve to tell my oldest daughter. She has seven kids so I should probably get to it soon.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir You’re welcome! I tell other parents about those two books all the time because they are so well written. :)

Just to say my kids were old teens or young adults when they had sex in my house!

My kids are still very young (2 years and in utero) but when they ask, I’ll tell them whatever they want to know. Anything. Pictures, terminology, slang, whatever they inquire about. I’ll be sure to back off if they feel embarrassed, but I’ll be frank. My husband thinks the same way. We’re not going to be like our parents.

I just left books laying around the house for them to help theirselves, and answered any questions. They didn’t really ask that much, so I guess they found out on their own.

By the time i get kids they will probably be sexting left and right, i think my old school morals will be waay outdated by then, so ill just probably try to remind them of what my parents told me, that you have sex because you like someone and want to be close to them.

That’s all i was ever told and it was fully sufficient.

I’ve always been upfront with my girls about sex. Starting at a very early age. We have always had an agreement if they come to me with a question, I will answer as honestly as I can (age appropriate).
I have taught abstience and respect for their bodies. But I have always told them they can come to me with any issue and although it may upset me, I will always be there for them.