What is some good etiquette advice to follow at Work "Holiday Parties"?

Only sleep with people more senior than yourself.

and make sure your ass is clean before you photocopy it.

Don’t get drunk and send that e-mail to the president of company that you have always said you wanted to send.

(edited because someone beat me to the copier) :(

You can never go wrong with khakis and a button up, or sweater, and the proper shoes.

Don’t go home with someone you didn’t come with.

That ficus tree down in the lobby doesn’t really provide good cover for your sloppy drunk hookup.

Do not get so drunk that you’re tempted to take up someone on their bet that you won’t grab the Vice President’s butt for $5. If you get drunk enough, you will do it and regret it when they hand you the box for your stuff the next day.

@HumourMe, meh. Simultaneous orgasms are overrated. I wouldn’t say that reason alone is enough to kick ‘em to the curb.

Keep your pants on.

Keep your top on unless the conference room is available.

Well. . . . . . . . . .you sure as HELL don’t want to get drunk or TALK TOO MUCH! Just keep it “easy going” and, unless it’s a FORMAL AFFAIR, just wear what you NORMALLY would at work!

I think “don’t get drunk” pretty much prevents the cascade of events (hooking up, insulting the boss, butt copies, etc) that would result in termination.

You should dress slightly better than what you typically wear to work. That way you aknowledge that this is an event that your employer has gone to the trouble and cost of arranging, but you don’t risk being overdressed or inappropriate.

And don’t forget to thank the upper management (or whoever arranged the party) for the lovely evening. :)

Just remember these tips:
Holly from Marketing has herpes
Martin from Research is an ass grabber, stay away unless you like that sort of thing
John from HR chews with his mouth open so sit as far away as possible
Annette in Operations is nearly deaf so speak up
And for the love of the gods… do not pee in anything non porcelain like you did last year.

Keep a low profile. :-)

Don’t go home and scream, “Odelay handlebars!” while humping the X-mas tree.

The ettiquette issue with me is to have a “legitimate” excuse not to go. I’ve always managed to save up some “urgent work” or simply take vacation days bracketing the party date so as to be “out of town”. I dislike any social occaisions, especially with people I have to work with.

Remember, everyone looks way more attractive when the lights are low and the beer goggles are on. You’re gonna hafta see ‘em on Monday, with the lights on full and perceptions intact. And so will your friends.

@ stranger in a strange land, stellar answer

That potted plant by the elevator isn’t the loo. And there’s a camera up there, so you’re not going to get away with a quick wee, either (Security’s just going to post it on YouTube, anyway).

If you really need a bj, ask a temp.

@75movies “If you really need a bj, ask a temp.” lmao. Holy crap I just pissed myself.

Don’t tell the boss in a drunken fog that you could do his/her job with one hand tied behind your back!
This is sure to result in the letter on your desk the following day not to be the bonus you were expecting but a demand for your resignation/sacking on the spot!!!

Just remember that yes, it’s a party, but it’s still part of work. Treat it as such.

@75movies – Tanya, the temp, right? The whole office knows about her.

Stealing the hotel shuttle van for a joy ride around the parking lot and then on down to a “good” bar is not going to be the epic experience you’ve always dreamed of having.

@aprilsimnel or Bill the temp, whatever floats your boat. I don’t judge.

Yes, your roommate is awake and will notice.

@CorwinofAmber Thank you. It’s called survival tactics for someone with Aspergers Syndrome.

DON’T TALK ABOUT WORK! getting drunk or tipsy and talking about work really is a bad combo..next thing you know you are talking about what you hate about your job and the boss is talking to people just 2 feet away hearing everything you say. Keep topics very simple and avoid those that have anything to do with work. This is a time to get to know your co workers. Talk about the kids, vacations, the holidays, anything that is light.

Don’t get too tipsy, nothing like the co worker that was waay too drunk for the rest of us to talk about all week and it really does leave a bad impression. No off color jokes.

Wear what you would consider ok to wear to work but a bit festive. Nothing like the co worker that comes in with a dress waay to short or a top that reveals waaay too much boobage..something that leaves an impression no one wants. It’s a work party not a bar.

Even if other co workers are getting out of control and the boss seems ok with it, don’t get involved. This usually is the time the boss is laughing but thinking “what the hell did I hire” LOL Impressions are still important no matter what the boss is doing.

@ buttkisses (interesting name), great answer and thanks for your time :)

Sure! Get out on the dance floor.

Aack! Please stop showing us your “special” moves!

Don’t throw up in the punch.

Don’t drink punch that has bits of partially digested food in it.

@75movies: EEEWWWW!!!!

I speak from experience here…do NOT get drunk and tell off your boss (who is a total tool and insulted you in front of a group of other party-goers) and state “If you were half the man you think you are, I’d drag your sorry ass outside and do something your daddy should have done a long time ago…and that is WHOOP…YOUR…ASS!!! You limp-wristed, cock-smoking, pillow biting, bra snapping, jock sniffing, sissy ass little Flip-Boy!
.
I didn’t get fired immediately…he needed me too badly for that. I was “phased out”.

Phil S….I bet you are still a half a fag douche bag.

@Corporate_Avenger Go get him! I got your six.