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LKidKyle1985's avatar

Need advice on a relationship?

Asked by LKidKyle1985 (6545 points ) December 16th, 2009

So I am in a long distance relationship right now. It is my fiancee and we are going to be apart for about another 4 months. I guess lately I feel like we have been drifting from each other a bit. I suppose I expected this to happen a little with the distance, but I feel like I am in a rut. So, have any of you been in a long distance relationship and what did you do to help avoid the drifting?

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18 Answers

Violet's avatar

How can you expert to have a great relationship with someone you never see? Of course you feel like you’re in a rut!
No offense, but I think long distance relationships are hopeless.

LKidKyle1985's avatar

Hmm I knew someone was going to say that. Its only for 4 months and its my fiancee. So not so hopeless. Other wise in most situations I agree that long distance is pointless/hopeless.

faye's avatar

Can you visit?

holden's avatar

Do you have open communication with your fiance?

Violet's avatar

Well I think what you are feeling is totally normal. I think you need to get use to the fact you’re going to be/feel like this for another 4 months.

LKidKyle1985's avatar

I can’t visit she is overseas, but I do call her often on skype. Not as often lately, but yeah its usually not a problem to get a hold of her.

deni's avatar

Well it’s is the holidays, everyone is busier and it’s a hectic time of year. Has she been working more or anything? I, too, am in a long distance relationship but only for another half a month til I move, and this past week has been bad for both of us. Lots of work and I had finals and we’ve barely talked. I’m sure there’s a reason. Stress, work, holidays?

LKidKyle1985's avatar

Well, I noticed a change in her when my grandpa passed away about 4 weeks ago. She was really close to him too. Maybe it was a shift in myself too and I haven’t picked up on it. But also your right shes been really busy in her university where shes at.

LKidKyle1985's avatar

So was I actually, I just graduated from school this week. So my last quarter was busy too.

LKidKyle1985's avatar

Anyways I guess what I really want to know is how do I get to something than is more positive that what it is. how to I prevent the drifting further.

Violet's avatar

Try using a web cam ; )

danbambam's avatar

I was in a long distance relationship for almost two years. I know exactly how you feel.

First, I feel that I should tell you to make sure your doing things for yourself to keep your mind off the loneliness of it all.. there is nothing worse then just thinking about it all the time. (Well.. thinking about her )

Second, You said you don’t talk to her often. BIG problem. Try to get a hold of her as much as you can.. like once a day or at least three times a week. Just to say something to let her know your thinking about her. Little things – inside jokes, things that remind you of her.. let her know it came across your mind!

Four months is a long time, but it’ll be over before you know it.

Good Luck LKidKyle

LKidKyle1985's avatar

Thanks danbambam, that was some pretty good advice.

danbambam's avatar

hey no problem

Leanne1986's avatar

I am in a long distance relationship and have been for the past few years and I can tell you, if you really love each other, then it is not hopeless at all. I get so excited at the thought of speaking to and seeing my SO because he is so far away and so it helps our relationship because we can’t take each other for granted. The question is, do you love her enough to put the effort in because I’m not going to pretend it’s easy.

cornbird's avatar

My cousin is in a long distance relationship and he is actually in love with the person. They always keep an open line of communication whether it is by web cam or telephone. At the end of the day i think that is what is important, the communication. As long as you have that and show love to each other while communicating the time wont seem so long. Trust me….

polycinco's avatar

I was in a long distance relationship for 2 years. Everything is about trust and love when you are away from each other. You’re going to be away just 4 months, I know it seems hard but if you are meant to be together then there won’t be a problem. You have to show her that you love her more every day (if that is the way you feel) and you have to make of this time away, time to help you understand if you really want to be with her. I’m sure you’ll find the answer. When there’s love nothing else matters. Stay strong.

Sher_King's avatar

When you get a hold of her, keep your conversations POSITIVE. After a whole days of stress and being busy, the last thing you want is conflict with your lover who you cant be with right now. Its hard, I know, but try to make things lighthearted as possible. Always make her feel special and missed. It will be an exciting return after her fourth months. Distance make the heart grow fonder. And meanwhile… do things that make you busy. Take up on activities. You’ll see that time flies! im sure there is a way of you paying her a visit atleast once. :)

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