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Christian95's avatar

How often do you feel that you're changing?

Asked by Christian95 (3255 points ) December 17th, 2009

This September I started to feel different(I didn’t realized this right than)and I started to change .I started with dropping a few annoying “friends” than I started to act different(I became more mean) with my relatives,friends and teachers.After a few weeks I changed my look and I started to hang out with a total different king of people(people which I found annoying before(they’ve changed pretty much too)).Now I ‘m having a total new way of amusement with my new friends and I’m having a passion(in secret) for a girl(one of the new friends)and I think that she likes me too but none of us has the courage to say something.The only thing that remained is Fluther and my hobbies(maths,physics etc),but I kind of became more good at them and I feel that I’m smarter and more profound now.
How often do you change yourself(even a little)?
What are the causes of this?
Do you think I should go see a psychologist?

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35 Answers

CaptainHarley's avatar

The one certain thing in life is change. I change in some way almost daily. The secret is to recognize the change and guide it in constructive directions.

anoop66's avatar

People change all the time. There’s a new me everyday!! You don’t need to go to a shrink, you are fine.

SirGoofy's avatar

The wrinkling, mostly.

azlotto's avatar

My allergy to shrimp comes and goes every 2 or 3 years.

Cruiser's avatar

It is I think a natural tendency to change or adapt to situations especially social situations and within intimate relationships. The good part is the real you is still there if and when your situations change again. It is always healthy IMO to check in with your real self every so often.

anon's avatar

I’m changing right now, but of my own accord and not clothes either!

My idea of who I am, or want to be, seems to change every few years or when the situation demands it.

Merriment's avatar

I change everyday.

Every interaction and experience has an impact on me. Some more subtle than others. This happens, imo, because as new data becomes available it only makes sense to integrate it.

The only reason I would seek counseling for these changes would be if they were negative changes that were happening in spite of an absence of a valid reason for the change. Ie: suddenly not trusting others or isolating myself.

I don’t see “radical” change all that often anymore but this old dog still has plenty of new tricks to learn and I look forward to learning them.

Mavericksjustdoinganotherflyby's avatar

You definitely may be well on your way to losing it. Just remember, we’re all crazy, It’s only a matter of degree.

seekingwolf's avatar

I learn something new everyday, and thus, I change.
It may be a small, but it’s still a change.

The day you stop learning and changing is the day you’re dead.

CaptainHarley's avatar

@Mavericksjustdoinganotherflyby… LOL! I’m fond of saying that, “We’re all crazy, it’s just that some of us are more functional than others!” : D

Poopy's avatar

I am evolving. I feel like I am constantly changing. This semester both classmates and instructors noticed the difference. My friends are concerned about the difference they see. Don’t get it twisted it has not been a easy path; however, it was time.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Every year I feel as though I go through changes, learning new tools or perspectives from challenges, trying to do right by the positive things in my life as well as I can and letting myself learn from mistakes instead of wishing them away or trying to forget or deny.

Corporate_Avenger's avatar

I read or heard somewhere a long time ago that our lives go through phases that change or coalesce about every seven years or so. I have found this to be somewhat true in that most of the major changes in my life, (friends, spiritual and intellectual milestones, financial situation, etc.) seem to occur in that basic time line. It’s kind of a comfort to know that what is now bad will eventually get better…the cycle of life, as they say.
.
Change just for the sake of change is the ideology of a virus, but there is nothing wrong with necessary changes to maintain our level of spiritual and emotional growth…indeed, change is the one constant in our universe. Without it, we have come to entropy. Enjoy who you are at this moment in time, like Tigger…you’re the only one.

phillis's avatar

It might be wiser to see your medical physician first for a complete physical, including a CBC. I say this because often, physical issues often play a role in our emotional and mental health. But I wouldn’t start panicking just yet.

It is very NORMAL to go through shifts in perception at avrious times in your life. This happens most often because your level of awareness has grown. You’re more aware of the type of people you are attracted to and repelled by, your own self-awareness, and awareness of society norms and their relevence around you. You reassess this all the time, even as a full-fledged adult. If you DIDN’T change, that would be something to worry about!

If the changes you make are positive ones (or at least neutral) then great! If they aren’t, then it is your repsonsibility to society and those who love you, and your duty to yourself, to step back from those events and objectively ask “Why am I doing this? What am I wanting to get out of it?”

The ideal time to ask those questions would be BEFORE something happens that will damage your self-esteem. This happens to also be the first steps to self-love, if that notion has eluded you thus far.

Jewel's avatar

Don’t worry. It is called growing. We all do it all the time. There are occasional ‘growths spurts’ every few years, but otherwise the change is usually miniscule and slow so we don’t even notice until it is well past. Welcome to awareness!

AnnieB's avatar

I probably change daily, but don’t really pay attention to it…unless, I’m making an effort at changing something….

I think you’re fine. Change happens.

majorrich's avatar

White hairs seem to beam in from parts unknown. I was shaving this morning and found a white whisker in my moustache where I know there wasn’t one yesterday! And it is almost 2 inches long! I wax my stash and would have noticed.

Fyrius's avatar

I talked to someone just yesterday whose position presented me with a real problem for my views on ethics and on the human mind. I’ll have to resolve this. That process will change me.
I had another subtly life-changing chat like that a few more days ago.

Then again, my mind is still growing up and getting used to this world. I suppose changing a lot is normal during the first, say, 25 years of your life.

Jewel's avatar

@Fyrius And the 2nd 25 years!

phillis's avatar

@Fyrius, Nice answer!

SeventhSense's avatar

@Jewel
The first 25 are warm up.

Fyrius's avatar

@Jewel
And here I was thinking the world view shaping would be finished soon. :P

@phillis
Thank you. :)

HighShaman's avatar

I used to be very trusting ; BUT over the years , I’ve been taken advantage of , screwed over, and cheated by so many people ..that I’ve become somewhat cynical and have began saying “NO” a lot more than I say “YES” anymore….

Pandora's avatar

Changes happen to everyone but I would be concern about dropping the old friends, Unless of course you’ve learned there were things about them you never liked and you dropped them because you found the courage to explore other avenues. A few years back I dropped a really good friend because I realized I was getting a little to old and tired of her drama. I mean with me she was great, but I didn’t care for how she treated other people in her life and I knew that it would only be a matter of time before she got pissy with me. And one day she did and I just moved on. I didn’t want to try to work out anything with her. I knew she was the type of person to never truly change.
Now if your new friends are more to your liking because you don’t have your old friends to down grade them and persuade you that they suck than that is fine. I’ve changed my opinions about others sometimes when I finally took the time to get to know them.
Changes are ok so long as what is emerging is really you and not somebody you want to be to get someones approval. (Unless its your parents) Some of these things may just be normal teen stuff and I’ve seen people change for love. Sometimes for better and sometimes for worse. If however the changes in you are really frightening you, than please talk to your parents or a school counselor. Especially if there is some history of mental disorders in your family!
Most of us change but usually at a steady pace, except for puberty, when we fall in love or when something profound has happened in our lives to cause us to reflect and make changes that will aide in our growth or health.

strange1's avatar

for me parenthood changes me as they grow. now two of them are teens i feel thier confusion.

MrsDufresne's avatar

Everyday. But I get one of those “lighting bolts to the head”, that fundamentally change me, about once every five years. However, I’ve had two of those in the past two years, so I feel I’m not due for another one until about 2012. lol ;) Good question!

smartfart11's avatar

I change a little bit all the time. And I notice it because people that I used to love, I now can’t stand. I don’t listen to the same kind of music, I have different goals, things like that. I don’t see it as a bad thing—actually the exact opposite. I love feeling that way when I know I am changing in a good way.

Jewel's avatar

@Fyrius Want some really good news? My parents assure me that the 3rd 25 are about the same. They say that the only real difference is that you don’t give a crap anymore! As I enter my 3rd 25, I am eager for that don’t give a crap thing.

Fyrius's avatar

@Jewel
Hahaha.
I think you can take shortcuts. I’m still in my first 25 and I’m already getting good at not giving a crap. :P
Though it’s probably not such a good idea at this stage in life not to give some crap about something or other once in a while.

Xann009's avatar

I feel like I am changing all the time. What changed me the most in my recent past was joining my schools Debate team. I really got into it, and ended up going to a national tournament in Chicago.

DancingMind's avatar

I never really feel myself changing, but then I go back to pictures of myself when I was younger, and find myself wondering what that person was like… I mean, it’s me! But the person in the picture is so different. it’s surprising.

The elementary school I went to was really small, so the other kids I grew up with felt like brothers and sisters to me. But in highschool we all went to separate schools, lost contact for a while, and when reconnect every now and then, I hardly recognize them… They’re still them, but kinda like how all their faces are recognizable but different, so are their personalities.

I don’t think anyone can really know “who” they are… life is about discovering that! If the way you’re changing feels right in some way, I wouldn’t worry about it. If you’re looking back to how you use to be with a little longing, spend some time trying to figure out why. Then work on it! That’s what I’m doing right now, actually. Self discovery! It’s harder than it would seem…

pouncey's avatar

a little over time.

Just_Justine's avatar

Maybe you call it “mean” but maybe you are standing up for yourself. Perhaps you dropped those friends because they were not good for you. Are you young? If so this sounds pretty regular to me. However, I do that too, I think I put up with something for a long time, then think “no more” and I change. I also change my look a lot. So if you are not being hurtful and out of control it sounds OK.

GrumpyGram's avatar

I never change. Sounds exciting to me. Proceed !!

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