Can you find true love after 40?

That last bit, is bullshit. So, I’ll see you later.

True love is the only kid of love you can find after 40.

sure.My aunt did.shes 68.she met a guy about 2 years ago and she is head over heels in love.and hes a geat guy to boot.

Age is entirely irrelevant when it comes to falling in love. Except really old people, it’s just lust to them randy old devils~

It’s lust to the youts. It is emotional attachment to the older folks.

Its not too late, but i would consider not having children at that late age. when you are 65 your child will be a teenager. are you ready for a teenager at that age? didn’t think so.

@john65pennington True love does not require having children. many women older than 50 are unable to have them anyway.

I didn’t discover Fluther until I was over forty. So, yeah. You certainly can.

Agreed, not too late.
But,
A. Your last statement about African-American men is completely untrue;
B. Why do African-American women have to only date African-American men?

Can you? Absolutely. The only barriers are the barriers you allow. Age, race, sex, state of health, state of wealth, language, and more—they are only obstacles if they are obstacles to you. In Japan the other person doesn’t even have to exist.

If the other person is already married, I suggest you regard that as an obstacle.

I know a couple who married in their 50s and are very happy.

After my father died at age 73, my mother had a new boyfriend for 20 years. He finally died recently at 93. She’s still going strong and would love another fellow.

If you’re an African-America women why do think your true love can be only an African-American man?This sounds like racism to me.
And you can found you’re true love anytime

I don’t know about the racial demographics, but I found my first deeply satisfying long-term love at the age of 52

@gailcalled Your mom rocks!

My mom on right believed in romance. She was 17 at the time. Recognize the piano player?

http://i45.tinypic.com/1znmwye.jpg

And I had two flings in my early 60s, after a HS reunion. Fun at that age with men I’d know since they were in third grade.

age has NOTHING to do with love!

Of course .. in fact, chances are you might be more likely to find a more stable long term relationship after 40. By that time, you are (hopefully) mature enough and experienced enough to know exactly what you want (or don’t want) in a relationship. We all grow and change as we age and sometimes our partners don’t do that at the same pace. Of course, there are always exceptions to that. As far as race playing a part in this… I doubt it.

@sliceswiththings & @Christian95- I would welcome dating someone outside my race; it’s never been presented to me. Please read up on the demographics of black men in the United States, in the South, in
Tennessee; not much. I’ve dated out of my age, profession and education but still no luck. Dating out of my race, requires both to be interested, I’ve not come across anyone.

@TLRobinson Move up north!

I want to marry asmonet.

@gailcalled That gives everyone over 40 years old hope that there is someone out there for them.

@sliceswiththings- LOL, umm, it’s called obligations. And why can’t they move here!?

@johnpowell: Fantastic! :)

Oh….please…...please…..please…...say….that you can fall madly crazily deeply fantastically in love after 40.

Right? Hello…..right?

If not, I’m going to crawl under the covers and pull the duvet over my head. And call it a day.

:)

@DarlingRhadamanthus Of course you can. Why on earth not? Relax. Enjoy.

@gailcalled

“Recognize the piano player?”

Liberace?

I am not sure about the racial aspect of it, but I am living, breathing, head over heals in love proof that it is possible to find true love after 40!

I found it at 39…and it’s now 21+ years strong.

@chyna

“That gives everyone over 40 years old hope that there is someone out there for them.”

GA and congrats on joining the 10K club! :-D

I hope so, or I’m in big trouble!

@Brian1946: Yuck yuck and no.

@gailcalled- And don’t forget about Milo. You were over forty when you fell for him.

Of course, you can fall deeply in love at any age. The emotions are still the same; if anything enhanced by (possibly) greater maturity.

It’s not true that non-black men aren’t at all interested in black women. Don’t be afraid of talking to any man you might fancy. Be yourself, live a life you enjoy living and it will be OK.

And also, don’t let negative thoughts about your romantic (or any other) situation take any hold, because our thoughts influence our behavior and the way we treat people. Also if you don’t think you’re worth having, which in essence is what you’re saying, even though you don’t mean it that way, then people will ask themselves, why do I want her around me? Don’t sell yourself short that way.

I’ll bet you know all this intellectually, but it bears repeating for everyone’s benefit.

I think my issues are more around the selections I make and how easy I allow them into my heart, when they show me their not deserving. I believe that’s a self esteem issue.

Click here for confirmation

again, age has nothing to do with love and would like to add something else to my comments. Race has nothing to do with love!

Of course you can find true love after 40. I personally know people who have done it. Women who had been divorced or never married who had sworn off men and marriage, and wound up in the end getting married because they became totally enamored, and their SO with them, in a way they did not think possible.

I don’t know about the stats about black men being on drugs or incarcerated, but whatever the statistics say I would ignore them. If you are aware of stats that suggest this I have a feeling it should be broken down by social class to have any meaning. Socio-economics have much more to do with generalizations and stereotypes than race.

Years ago, I think it was back in the 80’s, some magazine or newspaper had published a column about how womens chances of finding someone after a certain age were slim to none. This stat went around the world, it was quoted on tv shows like Designing Women, and then I think later the numbers were proven to be false. Ignore all of that BS.

@Brian1946 Thank you.

I only fall in love with over 40-year-olds. They are also the sexiest of women, period.

Hah!! Yeah!! Oh Yeah!!! Especially after fumbling around in the love dept for a good 20 years or more…you have a much better idea of what “love” is all about. And if you are lucky enough to find it again it will blow you away!! ;)

I want to marry hearkat too.

Yes. I believe that my odds of having a successful relationship are higher now that I’m over 40 and have learned the valuable lessons of my past mistakes. Finding a man who is at that same level of maturity seems to be a challenge, but recent conversations with someone are giving me a glimmer of hope again.

Finding love isn’t easy at any age, and so limiting your option based on physical features or other characteristics that are beyond a person’s control seems counterproductive.

@johnpowell: I typically won’t consider polygamy, but with Asmo, I may make an exception!

@hearkat :: Utah has great skiing. Just saying.

It depends on where you left it.

@johnpowell: I kinda do as well. So, that’s cool. :P

I met my wife when I was 47 and she was 51. We’ve been together for almost 16 years now, so my answer is yes.

Race shouldn’t matter because if one makes it an issue, it will reduce one’s chances of finding love.

My wife is Native South American and I’m blanco. If either of us had rejected the other because of our ethnicities, then we might still be wandering our separate and lonely paths.

Everything is better after 40…...........everything…..

I met my true love, Sherry (@sccrowell) when I was 50 and married her several months ago just after hitting 55. I proposed to her right here on fluther with all my fluther friends as witnesses (see the link in the @johnpowell post above). And our love grows deeper and our relationship stronger each and every day. If you keep your heart open to love, you too, can find it..
See ya…..Gary/wtf
Thanks jp!

^^Best love story ever told.^^

You never know what wonderful thing will happen to you, any day.

Copied from some excellent articles at e.how.com
“First and foremost, be open to love. You would be surprised of the amount of people that say they want love, but are not open to it. They are selfish and not ready to share themselves, their time or space with anyone. Prepare your mind, body and spirit for love, for another persons wants, needs and feelings. Be honest with yourself. If you are not open to love, don’t waste your time or anyone else.

Have love for yourself. If you do not love yourself, it is impossible for you to not only love someone else, but show that person how to you want to be loved. If you do not love yourself, you are setting any relationship up for failure.

Believe that you are deserving of love, the person for you is out there and you will find each other. This part is very important, if you do not believe it will not happen

Know what type of mate you want. More importantly know what type of person will compliment you. Many times what we like is not good for us. When you figure out the best characteristics that compliment your personality, put your wish out into the universe. Write down the characteristics you want in a mate. Read through the items on the paper, if they are all physical. Tear the paper up and start over. Search your soul, ask yourself honestly what type of person would be right for you.

Detoxify your mental, physical and spiritual bodies. Mentally clear out any past relationships, especially if it was a bad experience. Deal with the past, pull any lessons that you were to receive and then let that experience go.

As equally important as the previous step, have patience. Remember the song, “You Can’t Hurry Love” ? It’s true. He will come. Give some thought to the fact that you can truly have a life of your own, even without the “true love” you think you need. The more you are satisfied with your own life, the more you will have to share with “the one” when he does come along.

Jan. 28 My marriage will end. I will be 41 Feb 26.

I am going to be more fun and lovable in on day than I have been in 13 years because I will finally be me and not spend my time trying to be who someone else wanted!

@gailcalled – James Cagney?

@Naked_Homer: You’re the Yankee Doodle Dandy here (imagine confusing him with Liberace!) and he is the one in the pic.

I was 49 and trice married and divorced when I met and fell hopelessly and magically in love with Sandra who was then 54. We’d both been married more than once before and were not planning to fall in love nor marry again.

We are each others’ soul mates, the other half that makes each of us whole. She is the first one who enabled me to know what it really feels like to be loved. She tells me that it is the same for her.

Despite our reservations about remarriage, five years ago, I knew I could not imagine not being her husband and having the joy to have her be my wife. I never have regretted our decision and I know that she and I are meant for each other. My only regret is that we were not ready for each other decades earlier.

I have no desire to change her in the slightest and I know for certain, that despite my many flaws, she has no desire to “fix” or change me.

When you meet the right man for you, you will know and so will he.

While in our prison populations black men are greatly over-represented, this does not mean that black men are that much more likely to be incarcerated.

Black men are more likely to be charged. They are more likely to have to accept court-appointed lawyers. They are more likely to be convicted regardless of their guilt or innocence. They are more likely to get more severe sentences. They are more likely to be denied appeals. They are more likely to be denied parole. While drugs and violence are more prevalent in mainly black, inner-city neighbourhoods, that does not mean that most black men are drug addicts or involved in crime. You have been convinced that: “statistically black men are either married, on drugs or incarcerated.” There are certainly single black men of good character – probably enough for the single African-American women like yourself who are looking for a good man. Just as I was able to find my soul-mate, you can find a man worthy of you. You won’t find him if you sit at home believing he doesn’t exist. Be active in your community, church, and all the places where you find things that interest you. Someday, when you least expect it, you will find each other. Until then, keep busy and have fun every chance you get!

@Dr_Lawrence: Beautiful response. Congratulations to you and your wife, and Welcome to Fluther!!

@Dr_Lawrence-do you have a brother?! Thank you for your words and encouragement

@Gail – I was eating grapefruit when it hit me, the answer that is.

@Dr_Lawrence – Thanks very much. I needed to hear that.

@Naked_Homer honestly your initial answer made me smile, probably because I know from experience that what you wrote is absolutely true. It takes time, but I think you are on your way to healing and you and the woman who are working your way toward each other (even if neither of you knows it yet), are very lucky indeed! Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…

@Dr_Lawrence your answer is beautiful and full of hope and optimism. All the best to you and your soul mate!

@Naked_Homer: Another old movie buff, I see, wiping the juice out of my eyes.

@Naked_Homer I know someone who had a divorce party.

@Naked_Homer Have you ever seen Stranger On A Train? We should talk.

@gailcalled – caught that did you? As a gentleman I would never have followed through.
@SuperMouse – Thank you so much. That means a lot.
@JLeslie – I might do just that. Maybe not to out in the open, but something to celebrate my new life.
@pdworkin I am not sure I have to check.

just check the plot on imdb

@Naked_Homer Just want to add my hopes and good wishes for a happy new life. I know it’s been a tough road but it sounds like things are starting to look up for you.

I definitely think it’s possible, and maybe even easier to find “true love” as you get older. I am no expert though, as I just turned 40 this past march, and was still going through a difficult breakup from the previous year.

However, since then I have met a woman who is far more like me than anyone else I’ve ever dated. It seems as if we understand one another so deeply already, we are both in very similar places in life, both have similar values, and we both seem to want similar lives for ourselves in the future. I know only time will really tell, but this fairly new relationship already feels more “true” than my last one did after 3 years.

@janbb – Thanks so very much. I really appreciate it! I truly helps!

God, I hope you can find true love after 40. Otherwise I have only two years left…

Yes, Yes, Yes.
I found my beloved when I was 49 and she was somewhat older.
I have never been more loved and I’ve never been more happy.
We met online but not a match up site.
Don’t give up, he’s out there looking for you to!

My aunt married at 75. She says she has found her soulmate.