Why is "being alone" considered to be something..."bad"?
I couldn’t find a good word, hence the “being alone”. Loneliness could work, as could solitude, but I am more or less talking about a kind of loneliness that is more or less chosen. Or perhaps ultimately chosen because of current situation. But whether the loneliness is chosen or unintentional, I still get the feeling that people consider it to be something that is almost taboo. Especially around Christmas.
I can’t help but feel a bit sick about how society actually creates some kind of alienation around Christmas. Everywhere you go people talk about how Christmas is ment (?) to be celebrated with your family and loved ones. “Think of those who are alone at Christmas!”. Now there might be plenty of reasons why people are alone on Christmas, but still I can’t help but think that we are very good at making them feel worse about themselves and we aren’t really helping.
This year I spent Christmas alone, not that I wanted to but managed to get a nasty back injury and couldn’t move around. So I was at home while the rest of my family celebrated down south. In a way I missed being around my family, but I also enjoyed it. Not the not being able to move around part and the pain I had, but just being alone and seeing that it’s a day like any other day.
My mom used to preach about the importance of not being too comfortable about being alone and single. She stopped doing that when my sister had her fist kid. I guess she was happy when she got her first grandchild. But I am single, I am 35 years old and I haven’t been in a relationship for the last 8 years. Sometimes I do wish I had someone to come home to. But I also think that I am, well, happy the way I live now. Perhaps I have gone to comfortable with being alone which results in me not being interested in relationship, love and all that.
So, I guess I have a couple of questions grinding my gears now after I have given you some background.
1) Being alone on Christmas, why is that considered to be “wrong”?
2) Isn’t it time that we stop putting all these bad conscience on people who live alone by always talking about and setting up some kind of “normal standard” where being alone isn’t an option?
3) Should I keep feeling happy about my single life? Am I fooling myself? Has it gone too far, the comfortable thingy? How do I know if this is my choice or if I am a victim of bad self-esteem?