General Question

The_Inquisitor's avatar

When you make a promise to a friend, do you still keep it even after you're not friends?

Asked by The_Inquisitor (3146 points ) December 27th, 2009

Well, I for sure would always no matter what.

If your ‘once best friend’ suddenly became your enemy, would you still keep their secrets?

I 100% would keep those secrets and promises, I would not use it against them, none of their secrets would be used against them or used to put them at a disadvantage. I don’t see it fair. I’m just curious as to other people’s views on that though.

If you knew your “once best friend’ but now is an enemy”‘s secret, would you use it against them to your advantage, or would you keep that to yourself still?

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29 Answers

Violet's avatar

I have and continue to keep secrets of people who are not my friends anymore, and they do the same for me.

rangerr's avatar

I always keep secrets and promises.

mayratapia_'s avatar

I would keep the secret. I think it would be childish to tell people or to even use it for your advantage. Also, if you guys ever become friends again it could be a useful crutch to pick up where you left off, if you know what I mean.(:

Sarcasm's avatar

I would keep secret something even an arch-enemy told me in confidence.

I’ve never had a friend become an enemy. I’ve drifted away from people, but never became enemies.

I guess given the situation, I probably wouldn’t keep a promise for a newfound enemy.

smashbox's avatar

No, I would not ever tell someones secret if they confided in me, and I promised, even if they were no longer a friend. A person who told me someone else’s secrets, I would never trust them.

Grisaille's avatar

Yes. I keep my promises.

DrBill's avatar

Yes, a promise is a promise forever.

I have kept a promise made over 40 years ago, to a woman who became my MIL, I never even shared it with her daughter.

jonsblond's avatar

Luckily I haven’t had this problem. Like @Sarcasm, I’ve drifted from friends but never became enemies. I’m not the type of person to spread gossip or be hurtful, but if someone decides to be that way with me I sure as hell am going to fight back.

hug_of_war's avatar

I’ve never had enemies. The friends I’ve lost it’s because we’ve drifted apart. There’s nothing I could say to hurt them anymore, though I’m not the type to do that at all.

camouflage_pants's avatar

when friends become enemies, I may not break a promise, but I am not above shooting them if I feel threatened.

daemonelson's avatar

I doubt I would keep such secrets. I wouldn’t exactly go singing them out to all of the world, atop buildings and such. But if someone directly asked me about the subject then I’d tell them.

phillis's avatar

There are secrets I’ve been privvy to, even with enemies, that I never have, and never will, divulge. I can’t emphasize how strongly I feel about doing the right thing by people. They may be my enemy (there really isn’t any such thing in my life) but they’re still human beings. Forget it. I won’t do it, period.

scotsbloke's avatar

I keep secrets, if someone becomes “no longer a friend” I put my trust in them to keep my secrets too, although have been let down in the past. I just keep my darkest secrets to myself cos I’m unlikely to let myself down….........

pathfinder's avatar

If I promise something.The promise goes after the grave evan.That is respect

Fernspider's avatar

If it isn’t my secret to tell… it is not my place to tell others someone else’s business. Friends or not friends.

If it is important enough that someone has said “Please don’t tell…” then it is unfair and mean to break that trust regardless of how you feel about the person now.

john65pennington's avatar

Promising to keep a secret should never be violated, unless it effects the safety of a person or the threat of property damage.

Cruiser's avatar

A friend who is no longer a friend is no longer worth the time or trouble. I will mind my own business.

JesusWasAJewbot's avatar

It depends what that person did with all the secrets they are holding from my side.

I wouldnt want to put anyone out there, especially if it was something very personal, you dont wanna burn bridges. Then again i know once people stop being friends, especially best friends they can become bitter and start spitting venom at each other.

baileysmom12's avatar

I have never spilled a secret of a friend or ex-friend. I have had that done to me before and it hurts. I believe in keeping a person’s secrets no matter the current condition of the friendship. Now, on the other hand, if it’s someone I don’t like and I find out something juicy about them,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Ghost_in_the_system's avatar

I continue keeping secrets because it is enough to have lost a friend without starting a war. No one wins either way, but talking out of turn just makes things worse.

veronasgirl's avatar

I keep secrets, it doesn’t matter that we aren’t friends anymore, I would never purposely attack and hurt someone in that way. As for keeping promises, I would keep my promise to keep secrets. But if we had promises to always stay friends or that we have a day out together on the 12th of every month, those are promises I could not keep.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Of course I would. Clearly, the same didn’t go for my ex-boyfriend who, when we broke up (and to this day, creepy!), went around and showed everyone a nude photo of me

philosopher's avatar

Honestly I handle each situation individually .
There are people that have gone out of their way to hurt me out of jealousy. I owe them nothing . I do not try to get even . However I will not defend someone who betrays me or those I love.
I concentrate on the positive but I am keenly aware of those who lie to my face and they never get over . I choose to ignore them unless they get in my face.

rentluva5256's avatar

Yes. Definately.

Cotton101's avatar

yeah, I keep my promises!

HighShaman's avatar

I would keep any Secrets ; BUT don’t know if I’d still keep promises made in a now defunt friendship…. it wouldjsut depend upon what the promises were….

philosopher's avatar

High Shaman I see your point.

MagsRags's avatar

Yes, but…
There are some secrets that shouldn’t be kept. To use an extreme example, let’s say you were a comrade of Osama bin Laden’s with knowledge of past and upcoming terrorist acts. And let’s say you had a sincere change of heart. Do you protect Osama’s secrets?

philosopher's avatar

Good example mags .

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