What do you do in this situation (see details)

Laugh at yourself. Get a drink of water, hope the bathroom is far away from the bedroom…
People are people are people. No one worth sharing a bed with thinks their new bedmate doesn’t have weird little body glitches.

I think that as people get older and have more maturity, these things go from being funny, or deal breaking to understanding. A mature adult would understand that these things happen, because it has happened to them. All you should have to do is explain what is wrong with you and excuse yourself.

I do not let it bother be. Ok, the urge to fart is a tricky one.

But, if they are ok with growling stomach or the cough. That is the type of person I want to get to know. If it bothers them, good riddance. We are/should be grownups.

Well said @ChazMaz.I agree entirely. The kind of person who doesn’t understand that the human body has its occassional quirks, well they’re not worth knowing.
hugs xx

try to be as un noticable as possible

When my stomach growls i just say “holy shit im hungry”

Uh… I usually growl back at it.

Also, if I am in the awkward situation where the other person is embarassed about it (I honestly don’t care) I will feign communication back and forth with it and translate for the person.
“It seems to be feeling neglected, and…” I intently listen and respond to it with little ‘ohrly’ ‘I see!” “And it seems to be having trouble with your liver not mowing its lawn and…..”

make a wee joke of it, test the waters so to speak, you’ll need to fart or cough in front of them at some point (unless you are in showbusiness or royalty according to Billy Connolly, or you have some aversion to doing that in front of people of course) so talk aboot it.
Talking about things is a good way to clear the air especially with a new mate.
BB

am so glad you asked this question!! I thought I was the only self conscious one…GQ

haha!!! i love you all! it was more a… i was keeping him up at 3am when he had work at 630 so i felt badly, not so much embarrassing. but in general, it is embarrassing… and sometimes it’s okay, the stomach growling at least! and you guys are all so right on!! :):)

Also, sometimes, if mine is growling i’ll say something akin to “It’s just threatened by you.”

If you cough go drink water, if your stomach growls tell them you need a snack- you want anything! Just be direct, both of you ARE Human!

Just go ahead and fart and blame the dog….... Tip, always take a wee doggy on a date with you!

I’d love to go out with a man that was cool about farting…there aren’t many around!

Relationships do not progress to thar point with me.

When you’ve been married for > 15 years, it’s not uncommon to share farts.

The hazard is you might get so relaxed, you may let one slip publically.

Your kids will love it.

If you are at peace with your body, then minimize, but don’t let the angst be worse than the fart itself.

I work with people and stomach growling is tough to suppress, I will usually start a joke about it, but I’m comfortable with that, and it takes skill.

@DrMC ; Ohhhhhh the noises during times at home, in the kitchen and upstairs at Play- I thrust and I fart and her “down there” farts when air gets trapped as I go in…Yes the Noises!

Holy shit phil, that’s graphic. (cowering)

I tried to keep it clean but Remember ” you laugh in Those situations!”...

yes I do, and my kids like 2 girls and a cup, but I don’t even know if their ready for Queefs

Dont pay much attention to those things and try to prepare yourself beforehand

I handle it by not being in bed with anyone that I don’t know well enough and who doesn’t know me well enough to understand I’m human with all the attendant sights, smells, and sounds.

“My stomach says ‘Hello.’, by the way.”

Bodily functions happen. I look at it this way, if I’m sleeping over with someone then they obviously like me enough and know me well enough to pardon the occasional irritation like snoring (well that’s all the time), stomach growling, scratchy throat and the gargling to soothe it, bad stomach to where I commandeer the bathroom, a burp or pooter that sneaks by.

Being anxious or excited is a great way to invite growling stomach and tickles in the throat, asthma attacks, skin hives, etc.

Just talk about it, and laugh. Are you not both primates?

Fact from fiction, truth from diction. If I did not know them very well and for some time I would not be falling asleep in bed with them…..so…......

are you sure you don’t mean “truth from dictum?” Otherwise what you are saying doesn’t seem to mean anything.

I’ve never been embarrassed by either of the examples you’ve given.

Nothing to be embarrassed about.

And, if I was with a girl who had issues with something like that, she’d either get over herself or I’d find another girl.

I think if I felt that uncomfortable with that person, it means I shouldn’t be sleeping over with them.

My lady and I were very comfortable with each others bodily quirks. We were always bringing each other snacks, glasses of juice, etc. Bodily “winds” are a natural thing and a couple intimate enough to be sharing a bed should accept this with maturity and maybe a bit of humor. We’d use an element of sympathy (“something we ate isn’t agreeing with you?’).