Why is it that I get along well with everyone but I have no true friends?

I feel that way too sometimes…
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you.
I think it could be a few things: maybe the ‘problem’ is that you get along with everyone. You’re friendly to everyone, try to make everyone happy. But, as I’ve been told often enough, you can’t possibly expect to make everyone happy. I’m not saying your affableness is bad—it’s wonderful! But to get along with everyone, you might be staying just a little too far away to get close to anyone, or let anyone else really glimpse who you are.
Or, maybe you just need to take a little leap… Who do you want to get to know? Just do little things, invite someone to grab a bite to eat maybe, or go a little further with a conversation. Or maybe host a party? idk, something, whatever interests you.

And I’ll bet you’ll be surprised at how many people are actually wanting to be your friend!

I agree with Dancing Mind, for the most part. Just know that to have even 1 good friend whom you can depend and trust-in is the most you’ll ever need. People come and go, but the one’s that stay-around are the ones who mean the most. You want a friend? Be a Friend. I’m not saying “Be a people pleaser”! You want someone to care about you, then be wise and get to know the people whom you believe you can trust and get to know them by spending time with them for lunch or even taking a day on the weekend to hang-out, or even a dinner one night (I do it to catch-up w/friends, since we have busy schedules). Best Wishes!

The only way to move from the ‘acquaintance’ stage to the ‘friendship’ stage is to take risks. You can’t expect the other person to invite you or ask you to sit by them. There are plenty of other people who want more friends; they may be too nervous to take a risk and branch out.

well start choosing a couple of people from the “everyone” crowd, those who share mainly your interests or have similar hobbies as you, and start becoming more close to them in a sense that your hanging out with these particular persons more. you can then call up these certain buddies and go out, and you may never know when a certain person bonds with you more and soon you could become best buds.
idk. I also tend to get along with “everyone”, yet I choose to have a good circle of four other girls who I can genuinely call my “true friends”.

Here’s kind of an example of what I meant above:
say you like yoga. you start going to some yoga classes. you start meeting a couple of your yoga classmates and start becoming friends. since you already share a common like between one another, you already have created a somewhat mutual bond. what makes it a better bond is if you keep it strong by trying to hang out with this person more outside of class to see what other characteristics you have in common.
note* I don’t want to make it seem like friendships only live off of common characteristics, but this often does help in finding a true friend, and it aids a stronger relationship if that’s what your personality fancies.

I think because you are a real person and most people in this world act fake, they will turn on you in a second. Everything is all good when you guys are partying or just hanging out, but you can sense that if there was a time when you really needed one of them that they wouldn’t be there for you like you would for them. You find out who your true friends are when they are still around for you even when you have nothing to give to them

@dutchbrossis
why does what you say make perfect sense?? I think that was the best answer I’ve ever gotten in fluther! Thanks

@Justnice Thank You. I only have a couple friends I consider true friends. I have had many friends who used to hang around me when my family had a lot of money and took them everywhere. Then we lost all of our money and everything fell apart. Out of many friends that used to always hang around us, 2 of them remained good friends to me even when we didn’t have much. I consider myself a true friend because the only way someone can not be my friend is to try to ruin my or my loved ones life, so if you need a friend you got one right here :-)

So this is just me. I’m a pretty melancholy person. I just don’t trust cheery people. It seems fake, to me. I feel like they are hiding something. Everyone has issues, but if you always put on your happy face, no one can get past it to find out who you really are.

Like I said. That’s just me. I’m sure many people absolutely love cheery people. They just aren’t my cup of tea. In any case, if my feelings have given you any assistance in understanding what might be going on, I’m glad. But it is most likely that my experience doesn’t fit with yours.

My advice, however, is to stop being cheery all the time. Be real. I.e., express your real feelings as best you can, even if they are sad feelings. Be happy when you’re happy, but don’t hide sadness when you are sad. Just be the total you.

A lot of people think they need to be happy because other people don’t like unhappy people. It’s not true. People like real people. In any case, you will find it much easier just being yourself, instead of pretending to be something else.

Here’s a thought—what if someone did come to really like you because of who you pretended to be? What would happen when they found out who you really are?

I used to try to be what I thought other people wanted. It didn’t work for me. First, I was bad at pretending, and second, I didn’t like anyone who liked me for being someone other than I was. I found out it was a waste of time to try to pretend. I may be lonelier and I may have fewer “friends” now, but at least I am secure in knowing who I am.

@daloon
what you say makes perfect sense. The thing is I’m cheery but not to the point where it’s annoying and makes me seem fake. The truth is, I’m like you, I hate people who are always so cheery. I just try to keep my mood happy so people are comfortable around me. I guess you could say I’m a people pleaser. I also think that people are intimidated around me because I’m such a honest person. Apparently that’s a quality that people don’t appreciate.

Oh well. Sometimes you hit it, and sometimes you don’t. Good luck.

@Justnice That definitely could be a part of it

because it’s meant to be.

phony people, find some real friends in the middle of that crowd, i’m sure u’ll be able to