Social Question

wundayatta's avatar

How long before you notice someone is gone? How long is it that you think before others will notice you're gone?

Asked by wundayatta (58349 points ) January 14th, 2010

One member of my group last night was telling a story about her sister just passing away. She said the weird thing she noticed was that her phone suddenly stopped ringing. It seems that her sister called her something like 8 times a day. The silence, for her, was very striking, and she said she liked having that silence. She didn’t need anyone.

There are many different kinds of relationships we have: close family, extended family, friends, co-workers, flutherites, etc, etc. If someone from these (or any other) categories were to disappear, how long do you think it would take you to notice? Why that long? On the other hand, if you were to suddenly disappear, how long do you think it would take people from each (or some, or one) of these categories to notice? Why?

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19 Answers

J0E's avatar

This kinda happened to me last week, I was without a phone for 7 days. A few people were beginning to wonder where I was after I didn’t answer my phone for that long.

john65pennington's avatar

My sister in law fits this category. she has been deceased for several years. i knew she had died, but it really never sank in, until we had a family picnic one year and her fantastic homemade salad was not on the picnic table. it may sound like i only noticed and appreciated her for her salads, but this is not true. it simply just did not him home to me that she was really gone. i miss her.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

Some people I talk to almost every day. I’d miss them right away. And I would HOPE people would miss me. :-/

scotsbloke's avatar

I doubt I make enough of an impression to people (with the exception of family – it’s their job to miss me isnt it?) for them to miss me if I disappeared, it would be nice to think someone, somewhere would miss me, but for how long? Probably not very. .And that’s fine, DOnt want people to be miserable when I go (While I’m here – yes – lol)
It would be great to think that someone somewhere from one’s past is sitting thinking: I wonder what theya re doing now – I do it with people from my past, Dunno that I “miss” them though but maybe a little….....

I miss my Dad and my son and after nearly 20 years, still cant believe they are gone.

@jbfletcherfan I bet theres lots of people would miss you.

marinelife's avatar

I think it would take weeks for most people to notice that I was gone. I live in isolation without family or friends nearby.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

My husband would notice as would my mother – they both call me a lot daily. People on fb would notice as I am always updating.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@scotsbloke Awww…thanks. I’d sure miss you, too. :-)

gailcalled's avatar

We have a small group (who are neighbors and include my sister) who check up on each other, due to severe winter and living alone. Milo may be able to call 911, but I doubt it.

janbb's avatar

I have a friend who was operated on for lung cancer this week and I am very aware that her possible “absence” would make a huge hole in my life. Similarly, I would expect my real life friends and family would be devastated by my death. On Fluther, people would miss me but it would not be the same obviously.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@janbb I’d miss you. ;-)

janbb's avatar

@jbfletcherfan Ah sweetie, me too (that is, miss you!)

daemonelson's avatar

It would be several months before it would be significant. Thee only time we all really see each other together is birthdays.

bitter_sweet_rose's avatar

honestly it might take me a little longer then most (hours) to know if a friend is gone. I don’t really pay attention to things at school. As for if I was gone oh I bet it would be days. My family and I don’t get along i’m 14 btw.

Dr_Dredd's avatar

My job would probably miss me. They’d call my house if I was more than 30 minutes late, yelling at me to get my butt into the office.

Just kidding. Probably. I talk to my parents every day, so they’d immediately know something was wrong.

fundevogel's avatar

I’m not sure how long it took me to notice CompassionateHeretic was gone. It made me wonder if people would notice when I was gone. Oh fluther, our time on you is but a brief a and fleeting moment.

DeanV's avatar

When I left Fluther and came back, I was honestly surprised at how many people welcomed me back, even people that I didn’t really interact with too much before I left.

As far as school goes, most people I regularly see often email me or call me when I am not at school or come late. It makes me feel like if I really did disappear people would notice fast.

I have good friends.

evandad's avatar

Why does this site think I should get every question that Ass Tattoo puts out there?

Sophief's avatar

Well I don’t have any friends, I don’t speak to my parents often and we don’t live in the same town. I live with my boyfriend so obviously he will know I am missing, but no one else will. There will be 3 people at my funeral.

Sarcasm's avatar

I noticed a few hours after you left.

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