Should i feel really bad, or be really mad?

I would be irritated.

I think you just confused me. It’s not that hard to sound unfeeling on the internet – us not being able to transmit actual emotions and facial expressions and all… Maybe you are misconstruing what she is saying in text, and should stick to talking about this stuff in person.

I would become distant, and look elsewhere for friends.

Things being the way they were, just dump her and move on with your life. . . If they can’t see the value of their own lives, then why spend your own valuable time on them?

What I don’t understand is why you feel the need to ask “how should I feel?” How you feel is how you feel.

Not to sound like an ass because I’m probably going to, but I’d drop this friend like a bad habit. There’s no time to deal with crap like this when there’s a life of your own to live. If they can’t be a committed friend, than their not worth your time.

BTW… depression, true clinical depression, isn’t within the control of the individual. Could they be faking depression to manipulate you in some way?

Obviously it’s not that important, I would wait for them to come to you.

@CaptainHarley I HATE WHEN PEOPLE USE DEPRESSION LOOSELY! but the reason i’m asking is because I’ve been having so many mood swings other people are joking that i’m on my TOM… I’m normally a really happy person, and i laugh A LOT. even at things that aren’t really funny. Its gets everyone else in a better mood. but recently, even before all this, i’ve not really been in the best mood. and this situation is really not helping…

It’s a form of codependency. You each need each other to play this scenario. You all get to feel important because the drama is intense. It plays to your inner demons resulting from your upbringing. You know you should stop, and you can’t. It’s too seductive.

Sad? Mad? Makes no difference. The key….. aw fuck. I don’t know the key. I play this game myself and I’m probably twice as old as you. Or more.

It might help if you try to learn more about this pattern of behavior. Research it. You might try to open more communication, but it is likely that she has no insight onto her own behavior. The only thing you can do is to look to yourself. You have a need, and hope that she will fulfill it. It’s not going to happen.

With me, the transformation came because of reading a book where I learned that the patterns of my behavior were classic for people called love addicts. I realized I was giving away my power by being so needy, and that she couldn’t help me. The only person who could fill my need is me. I need love because I’ve never felt good enough. I think love will fix that. It won’t.

What may fix that is believing in my own work and my own person. Or maybe not even believing, but merely stopping all this constant doubt. Or ignoring the doubt if I can’t stop it. Who knows? The issues you raise are exceedingly complicated and you can probably expect to be spending the rest of your life falling into and out of these patterns.

What can I say? Life isn’t fair. We all have our own michegoss.

@wundayatta i need to read that book! You wouldn’t happen to have the name by any chance?

@iRemy_y

I agree. Depression is nothing to take lightly; been there, done that, got the tshirt. It doesn’t sound to me as if you have clinical depression, just lots of sadness due to things beyond your control. If some person is causing this sadness, or making it worse, I recommend you distance yourself from them if at all possible.

@iRemy_y Here it is.

Your question is too confusing and poorly expressed for me to understand what is bothering you and what happened and in what order. Try again and be more clear if you want serious attention to you concerns and feelings.

I don’t like anyone playing mind games on me. So i’d probably leave.