General Question

SamIAm's avatar

Men: If you are unable to perform, what do you do ... see details (NSFW)

Asked by SamIAm (8628 points ) January 23rd, 2010

Let’s say you’re with a lady (or another man, whichever you prefer) and you can’t get it up, or can’t keep it up. (S)he’s itching for some intimacy… do you leave her/him sexually frustrated, or do you compensate in some other way (oral, toys, etc…)? What is the right thing to do? Please explain your response.

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28 Answers

sleepdoc's avatar

The right thing to do is to use all the avenues available to have a good experience. There are hands, a mouth and tonue just to name a few. I would imagine it would be a big dissapointment for all involved. But I would say don’t wallow in the moment move past it!

Tenpinmaster's avatar

I call them “malfunctions” when that happens to me but yes, there are lots of other areas of opportunities to please your partner. I use any and all tools at my disposal to at least get her going and not worry so much about myself when that happens. :-) I’m sure she dosn’t mind! hehe

Shield_of_Achilles's avatar

I have other methods. Hands, mouth, poetry. You don’t always have to use the the battering ram to get the doors down.

SeventhSense's avatar

I can’t imagine that you will get a whole lot of honest feedback on this question. But honesty is my burden and I carry the torch bravely and there are very few men who are as comfortable with their masculinity as I am.

With that said I can only surmise that you are referring to the seventh round of the evening? At which point I am somewhat tuckered and will minister to her insatiable needs with expert oral ministrations which leave her gelatinous legs quivering while she is blubbering about seeing God. Yes batteries are sometimes needed for the defibrillator which is on hand to bring her back from the edge of her rapturous ecstasy but that’s rare.
…wait she said what? that bitch

SamIAm's avatar

jesus @SeventhSense !!!!!! and no this is a general question, but i am hypothetically saying the first attempt

wunday's avatar

The only time this ever happened, I was with a woman I didn’t really like. I was just doing it because she wanted to.

Well, that’s not quite true. Is does happen if it’s something like the third time that night. But by then, neither of us really cares.

But if it were to happen, I would certainly give her whatever she wanted using my other tricks of the trade. She would not be frustrated or unhappy. Nosirree! Not if I have anything to say about it! (And I usually have a lot to say, lol!)

wunday's avatar

@SeventhSense “gelatinous legs?”

Surely you could have chosen a less disturbing adjective?

Now I’ve got to go wake the wife to get that unfortunate image out of my head. Gelatinous legs, indeed!

Cruiser's avatar

Take Viagra and problem solved. Other than that a boner is the least thing required to have stimulating and pleasurable intimate time together. I can’t imagine not engaging in any number of alternative activities other than copulation to further intimate interaction with your partner.

Violet's avatar

Toys and oral would be great.
I think the “right” thing to do is let the person know it is not their fault. If it is uncommon to have ED problems, tell them. If it is becoming more common, see a doctor.

RAWRxRandy's avatar

Foreplay more.
But it’s with a guy so we might switch places :]

Trillian's avatar

@Shield_of_Achilles hehehe. “What’s wrong with a kiss, boy? Give her a kiss…....so you see we have all these other alternatives before we STAMPEDE towards the clitoris!” Meaning of Life, Monty Python

Shield_of_Achilles's avatar

@Trillian I dono. It seems that with the girls I hang around with, what I really need to do is be older and charge away.

life_after_2012's avatar

you better compinsate, theres millions of people that don’t need to compinsate, they just ” git-ur-done”

aprilsimnel's avatar

@Trillian – So in other words, John Cleese subtly alerted all the female nerds in the audience that he’s good in bed. Huh. Those Oxbridge boys are clever, aren’t they?

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

oral of course – it never fails to delight!

delirium's avatar

I’ve seen it happen with really really nervous guys. Usually oral play will happen until they relax a little bit.

If the girl freaks out and tries to be too comforting and worries in this situation, it usually just makes it worse. Just take it in stride. Kiss him hard, make it obvious that you’re not phased whatsoever. Giggle and say something like “I can think of something to do while that’s out of commission…” and playfully guide his head down between your thighs.

He’ll be back in the action in no time.

sleepdoc's avatar

@ delrium I can second that

sjmc1989's avatar

Back to the question though, this only happened to me with one of my bf’s that should have been reason enough for him to get off the drugs, but I guess not. He performed oral on me until I reached an orgasm or until he became hard again and we could finish what we started. I mean oral is great, but half of the time I get majority of excitement from performing oral on him, while I get it too. Recieving oral alone just isn’t the same.

dutchbrossis's avatar

my husband uses his tongue or fingers. I love both

Naked_Homer's avatar

as others have said, I would move on to other venues of stimulation for her.

Interesting note here. I will be reentering the fray as a 41 year old after being on what was essentially a 13 year hiatus of the driest desert of my sex life. I wonder what will “go down” when I get back in the saddle so to speak.

germanmannn's avatar

think about getting a strap – on ?

evil2's avatar

@SeventhSense you are so full of shit, but i am glad that you have such a belief in your abilities however unfounded…. i think most of us who go through it try to muddle through and apologetically try to get the job done anyway…

SeventhSense's avatar

@evil2
She got to you too? Hell hath no wrath like a woman spurned

Eggie's avatar

Just remember “The tounge is mightier than the sword”

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