Social Question

Alchemist's avatar

{NSFW} My girlfriend was raped. Now what?

Asked by Alchemist (68 points ) January 27th, 2010

I dunno who did it. She called all upset and now she’s at my house freaked out and scared. She’s taking it really bad, cries every few minutes and don’t wanna be left alone.

What now? I don’t know what to do. I got no experience in this kind of thing. It’s painful watching her and I want to help, but how? What can I do?

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27 Answers

Shield_of_Achilles's avatar

You may want to take her to the hospital to see if things are ok physically and so that evidence can be collected.

I’m not so great with the right now stuff, but for the next while, you HAVE to be strong for her. This is gonna be rough, and she is really going to need people to make her feel safe.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

Take her to the hospital for immediate medical care and counselling. This is a critical time for you to make sure she gets the care she needs.

Don’t ask her too many questions and don’t argue with her. Do what she needs. She is in shock and may not be able to make good decisions for herself.

Don’t hesitate. Do it now! If you don’t have access to a car, get her there any way you have to but do it now!

susanc's avatar

What Dr Lawrence said and then trust the people at the hospital and give her total support for everything she feels and says. The only thing you have to be very clear and firm about is getting her to the hospital. Then talk to us later.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

1. Take her to a hospital immediately.
2. Find a good counsellor for her.
3. Find a good support group for her.
4. Find a good support group for yourself to learn how to help her.

FishGutsDale's avatar

Good luck mate.

augustlan's avatar

After the hospital, let us know how she’s doing. {hugs} to both of you!

RAWRxRandy's avatar

Yes, take her to a Hospital, support through all of it.
Take care of her, don’t ask her about it now unless she wants to talk about it.
hug Hope you two will get through this <3

zookeeny's avatar

Take her to the hospital now – as everyone has advised. She may not want to go or may insist it is not a good idea but she must must must go. This may be the only chance she has of collecting evidence against the rapist. Call an ambulance and it is out of your hands. Please insist she goes to hospital there are no two ways about it she must go. She needs to be seen for her physical and mental health. You need to be there. Do not ask questions just physically sit with her be by her side. Do not talk about your needs to her AT ALL this is not the time. You may need to talk this through with someone to but now is the time for helping by seeking medical help immediatly. I have been raped and regret not having gotten the medical help immediatly I was not in the right mind to have made that decision for myself at the time I needed someone to make it for me – you are that someone for your girlfriend. Hopefully by now you are not even on the net you are at the hospital. Best wishes to you both. Tell her she can get through this. So can you.

bigboss's avatar

this is fucking horrible….it makes me so angry of men like this in this damn worldd tht would do these things….you must be sooo angry….i would just do what these ppl are all saying. hospital first for any injuries.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

As horrible and painful as it is for you, it’s only a fraction of her pain. Go, be there, guide her through the process of the hospital and reporting what happened to the police, and then hold her and reassure her.

ucme's avatar

Well a good start would be to stop asking strangers on a website & call the fucking police.This aint helping her at all.

Jewel's avatar

How old are you?
Did you take the time to create and set up an account just to ask this question? Did she sit quietly beside you while you did that?
Am I the only one who sees something “off” here?

bigboss's avatar

@Jewel ooooo touchy touchy

Jewel's avatar

No. Not touchy. Just not willing to fall for every story I hear. Especially if it doesn’t ring true. Do you think my questions aren’t valid?

jonsblond's avatar

I have nothing new to add, but I would like to tell you that your girlfriend is lucky to have you there by her side. I wasn’t so lucky when it happened to me. No one believed me. I had no shoulder to cry on. Just be there for her.

lucky doesn’t seem like the best word to use right now, but I hope you understand what I mean.

westy81585's avatar

Now you kill the guy that did it….. I’ll help.

mowens's avatar

Me three.

sjmc1989's avatar

^and I’ll just watch^ I can’t afford to spend life in prison

What the others have said is all good advice.

Shield_of_Achilles's avatar

@sjmc1989 I’m too fast and sneaky for police ^.^

bigboss's avatar

its self defense…a day later ^_^

zookeeny's avatar

@Jewel your questions are definatly valid. I totally support your points made. I also considered it strange – first question etc but due to my own personal concerns for the possibility that this may be true or someone may read this and it may help them in the future I decided to answer ‘just incase’. But I am also suspicious about this question. I infact hope it is fake. I just thought I would note your opinion and say I value people who speak their mind as long as it is not a vicious attack but a opinion supported by evidence – I agree, first question on here and all the while his girlfriend weeps somewhere nearby…. mmmm , maybe they are very young and if so where are their parents?.... a lot of mismatching info but some questions I cant ignore…. just incase.

Jewel's avatar

@zookeeny Thanks for the reply! My main concern was that this was a pair of 15 year olds and neither of them are prepared to deal with a tragedy of this size alone. If they are that young, many things might cause enough fear to make them choose not to go to the hospital. In that case, they need adult guidance. And a 15 year old might just think asking for advice on one of these social babel sites would qualify.
If they are adults, then he isn’t too mature and questioning his decision to join fluther while she waits was just too glaring to ignore.
I did not mean to attack him, but I did think he owed us some clarification after involving us. THEN we could give them better advice.

Alchemist's avatar

I was in a blind panic. I’m not giving detailed details strangers; I already regret asking.

Jewel's avatar

@Alchemist, I hope everything is alright now. Or, at least better than it was. I didn’t mean that you had done anything wrong, but we could have given you wrong advice if we didn’t clearly understand what was going on with you and your girlfriend.

jonsblond's avatar

@Alchemist Don’t regret asking. It is not our place here at Fluther to judge those that ask a question. Everyone is entitled to an honest, sincere answer for any question that is asked.

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