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Yetanotheruser's avatar

How is it that as strangers, we (flutherites) can be so loving to each other?

Asked by Yetanotheruser (14677 points ) February 4th, 2010

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s wonderful that we can share such things as death of a loved one, a marriage proposal, and suicide to name a few that come to mind. The reason for the question is that with a few exceptions we don’t know who we’re talking to, but we are a very empathetic bunch.

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20 Answers

OpryLeigh's avatar

I think the fact that we don’t know each other makes it easier for us to talk to one another about these things and that is what brings us together. Sometimes, being completely honest with people we know in real life can make things awkward but that doesn’t happen here amongst strangers.

Silhouette's avatar

That’s the way it should be all over the world.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

I don’t know exactlty why, but Fluther seems to attract intelligent, sympathetic people. We are not bothered by the annoyances of knowing each other F2F, so we can feel safer to reach out and offer help.

Judi's avatar

This is a pretty amazing group. I think the anonymity helps, because we can leave all our garbage on this side of the screen and think before we type to present our best selves to the world. I think that’s why I am so addicted.

marinelife's avatar

It is our natural impulse to be kind. It is unclouded by the fear that keeps us from reaching out in face -to-face situations.

zephyr826's avatar

I think that because most of us don’t know each other, we are less bogged down in the petty, ridiculous things that enter into face-to-face relationships. As @Judi says, when I come to fluther, I’m not worried about how my hair looks, or whether @Yetanotheruser makes more money than I do, or any of the minutia that colors our other interactions. As members of a community, we feel a need to reach out to each other, in times of joy and sadness. We are able to think about our answers, and better articulate our feelings through the written word than just blurting out a simple “I’m sorry”. not that “I’m sorry” doesn’t have a place here as well. The freedom of fluther allows us to have relationships with people’s minds, unclouded by the physical.

wundayatta's avatar

It works fine as long as we’re strangers. The second it become more real, at least for me, it’s disastrous. As it happens, I’m writing about it today.

Steve_A's avatar

If only people could be as honest and true in real life huh?

bean's avatar

we learn we love we want to be peaceful among our community, it’s part of the human condition. But so many other things contradict this and we’re never perfect. We also strive to be independant and strong, we stand up for what we individuals believe in…. there for we can never really be peaceful, but to the unfamiliar we are welcoming, and we trive on those kind of emotions; love, flattery, support… there are so many…. we are complicated beings.
we are built to learn and learn to accept.

HGl3ee's avatar

Because we can all relate to each other in one form or another. The world would wake-up one day and realize that the man walking past or the woman pushing the stroller in the park had any of the same dreams, fear and needs that they did we would all be humbled in some form. It’s why I love PostSecret, it wakes one up to some of the reality we all forget to see.

CMaz's avatar

Because you can’t fault honesty.

Bluefreedom's avatar

I just have a naturally positive effect on anyone and everyone I meet and it seems to have rubbed off on all the other Jellies here. Just doing my part to spread the lurve and to make the Fluther experience that more rewarding for one and all.

Nullo's avatar

Anonymity helps.

Naked_Homer's avatar

I wouldn’t discuss such topics without some inclination of the caliber of people I was dealing with. In the end if someone were screwing around about discussing such things then they are a tragic example of a human being for whom I have no concern.

And like others have said, it would be pretty difficult to conceal, ongoing and completely an entire persona that is consistent with everyone across all topics.

augustlan's avatar

All I know is I lurve you all. Every. Single. One. <3

bean's avatar

@augustlan awwww…. <3

finkelitis's avatar

I’ve seen fluther grow since the beginning, and from very early on it was clear that the site would succeed only if the community was good. The original group of people on the site were really good users, but soon it became clear that rogue elements might present a real problem. It’s true that anonymity can sometimes help people be more caring, but that backfires more often than it helps. In general, anonymity has spelled disaster for the internet, and the discussion on many anonymous sites looks about as good as the scrawls in a public restroom.

I think Ben and Andrew have tried really hard to create an environment where screwing around and being disrespectful would not be tolerated, and that everyone would understand that considerate and thoughtful behavior was the norm, and expect that from themselves and others. The moderators have been hugely helpful in this effort. I think that keeping the junk level down to minimum gives the space for everyone to put their best self forward.

So I think you end up with a great group that respects each other and assumes that they will be respected, and everyone self-polices, and there’s a continuing upward spiral. I myself am happily stunned at how supportive and vibrant the community on fluther has grown. And how helpful! It’s now really at the point where the original vision of instant, useful help to tricky problems is the norm.

candide's avatar

it is the way of the jellyfish, man!

Yetanotheruser's avatar

@candide but what of the jellyfish wo-man?

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