How do you want to be broken up with?

I’m old so I have reached the point where I don’t even what to know why. If or when my man leaves, I’d appreciate a note telling me not to leave the light on for him.

t depends- after a few dates or so, especially if we haven’t done the sex yet, nicely over the phone is fine.
If our relationship has included sex or more than a small handful of dates, it damn well better be in person. It’s only good manners.

I’ve been broken up with only twice ( and they were on the same day. Lucky me.). One was in an email, and we had done the deed. That was fucking rude. The other was over the phone. There hadn’t been any sex, so I thought that was appropriate.

Optimal method for me;

Meet for dinner, go home and share a bottle of wine getting tipsy. have one last night together, have sex all night and don’t sleep. If am breaking up with her wake her early and take her home in just her bra and underwear so she can be embarrassed when she walks in the door and she can get ribbed by her friends. then she might call for a repeat of meaningless sex a few days later!

Why? What did you hear?

In person.
Not dramatic. Just a, “Hey, this isn’t working out for me”.

@AstroChuck Oh you know, he’s just in a festive Valentine’s mood!

@Sarcasm- Scared me for a minute. I was afraid my wife had finally come to her senses.
Whew!

Um, how about “I’ve won a $200 million lottery and I’m splitting it with you. I’m also leaving you. “K, bye!”

straight-up, no ifs, ands or buts . . .
lay it down quickly so I can be on my merry way…

Email. No voice, no face to face. Hell even a text. If you want to break up with me then don’t show your face. So I can sob and break-down without you having to see me. If you’re going to break up with me you don’t deserve to see me.

Wow, this question made me mad >.< Sorry!

Quick and on my door step. Say it. Then walk away.

If it isn’t a serious or long-term relationship, the phone is fine.

If it has been a long-term or deep relationship, it should be in person. Don’t take me on a date, though. One, no one wants to be in public when they are upset and, two, I don’t want to have to be around you after you’ve told me. Awkward drive home, no? Just come over, sit down and talk to me. then leave.

I want the honest reason, no bullshit, and then I want you to leave. Forever. Chances are if I can’t have you I don’t want to be friends.

I want to be told quick and dry so I can move on, not in an emotional sense, but so I can get back out there to find another woman lol.

I want to come home to an empty house; leave no trace that you ever existed.

A barbershop quartet would be a nice touch.

Like a band-aid being removed…...quickly, with intense pain and then it’s done.

No dragging it out, that gets crazy. “I don’t want to be with you anymore.” And when you do it, don’t call, don’t text, don’t contact, nothing…for a few weeks or months. After the pain has receded, then you can (maybe) be friends. But not before that.

No caving in when she/he begs for sex “just one more time.” I fell in love with a man and we lost touch. We reconnected when his then present relationship was tanking. (We lived hundreds of miles apart, so our reconnection was via phone). The old magic was still there, he was bookish, I was bookish….we just always loved each other, but for different reasons had never gotten together. We realized that the compatibility level we had was still profound and he said, “Well, I need to end this relationship and when I do, I will come and visit you.” I encouraged him to do what he had to do, take his time and get in touch when he felt ready. “I need to do this quickly, it’s dragged on long enough….I’ll call you next week and let you know how it went.”

That sounded great…it was clean, clear and there would be no betrayal, no “cheating.” Anyway, as the “I’ll call you next week” turned into two weeks and then a month and then two months and then three, I had a dream. In that dream, I saw him agitated and calling to me saying, “I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.” We always had that sort of connection.

In a little over three months, I heard from him. His mood was somber. I knew something was wrong. “You know, I broke up with Tia (not her name)...and she asked me to help her move to Springdale (not the city) for her new job. And I don’t know how to tell you this…” he hesitated.

“She’s pregnant.” I finished his sentence.

“How did you know?” he said.

“I just know…women know these things.” It turned out (because the important thing about us was that we were always honest with each other) that he moved her furniture and begged him for “one more time for old times sake” and he obliged. As I heard him speak this, I wasn’t upset at all. I knew that he loved me. It was silly, I suppose, but it didn’t change my feelings nor did I feel it changed his.

He said, ” I want to be part of this child’s life….” And the rest of the conversation passed in a haze. He had decided to marry her so that he could have legal rights to the child and a part of this child’s life. I understood. The woman was an alcoholic, part of the reason that their life had taken a tumble. He felt responsible to be a present dad in the child’s life. I supported him. I let him go and go in peace. I understood what he had to do.

I don’t say this to give myself a pat on the back…it was harder than hell but love doesn’t change.

So, when you break up….do it quickly and don’t look back…or you may change your destiny in ways you could not ever anticipate.

To answer your question, I don’t.

But if I was being broken up with, and had the choice, I’d want to be the approachee as opposed to the approacher. I was just broken up with, and was so paranoid over three days of non-responsiveness that I had to keep prodding her until she caved and let me know what was going on.

@AstroChuck I heard…...Well just don’t leave the house without a change of underwear.

I would want it to go like this.
Girlfriend: Hey, we need to talk.
Me: whats up.
Girlfriend: I want to break up with you and i know how bad thats going to hurt you so i brought my freind Samantha with me.
Samantha: Hi!
Ex – Girlfriend now: All three of us are going to have a super wild 3some now in memeory of our relationship
Me: Fuck yea! Lets soooooooo break up, right now!!!!

I’d prefer a “break up date” . My ex and I broke up rather nastily, he said that he “deserved better his senior year”. I didn’t do anything to deserve that, he wanted what I wouldn’t give so now he’s dating a slut. But no matter what at least try to be sensitive when breaking up with someone. I am guilty of being nasty while I was doing the dumping but that guy was creepy controlling so he deserved it. I’ve only ever been broken up with once, the others I was the one doing the ending, but I would explain and end it without tears or screaming (except for the two mentioned here) and we were on good terms afterwards.

I prefer an all out screamin session… I find if your angry it doesn’t hurt so bad…..

I thought this was nearly going to happen to me just the other night. It was an awful feeling, but I felt how we approached it was good. We talked about it, what we felt like wasn’t going right, what we felt would help us, if we saw a future or not and we decided it’s best for us to have worked it out and continue our relationship. Even though it’s only been three days since then, it’s been awesome.
But if we were to break up, I liked what we did for that. I felt like it was logical and we were trying to be sensible, even if one of us (coughcough) was a mess the majority of the time.

I would want them to tell me to my face and tell me the real reason why. None of that crap about it all being about them, because if it was, I’m sure I would have broken up with them already. Plus, I hate when people drag on relationships even though they know they aren’t completely involved in it.

As an employer you have to terminate employees face to face. You should consult with your lawyer first. You need to have a paper trail show warnings, and meetings with the employee.

Also the friend samantha mentioned above is a nice threesome touch.

Um just shoot me please.

@princessbuttercup we don’t shoot employees at this establishment.

Sorry

@princessbuttercup we make every attempt to salvage our employees here. We have trained well in north korea.

; )

In person, at my house. Directly, respectfully, honestly and succinctly. And quickly. And then take all your stuff with you, including everything you ever bought me and anything that might have even the slightest chance of reminding me of you. And then leave me the hell alone—we can “be friends” later, if I feel like it.

I hope I never hear it, but if I have to, I would rather he just tell me and tell me the real reasons why. Then I’ll leave. If he is genuinely happier without me then I am happy for him.

@life_after_2012 : Thank you for making me smile!!

In person, gently and with them reading from a prepared list of all the reasons I am so great and they are so crazy not to try everything under the sun to keep me. When they are done talking to me then I want them to take me on a shopping spree and a trip to the salon to get me polished up to be put back out of the market. A new car would be nice too and brunch because I’ll need to keep my strength up.

@hungryhungryhortence If only! Hey, how about we get together, and then you can break up with me and do all that shit! I think that would be a good consolation prizes (although not good consolation).

@wundayatta: If only. The truth seems to more along the lines of this:

The person who says they’ll put you above all others can’t, they’re likely overburdened.
The person who says they’ll take a bullet for you, they won’t but they might write a touching poem in your memory.
The person who says they’ll chase after if you should run will cut you off with cold silence so quickly your head will spin.

@hungryhungryhortence You know, I do believe you have restored my faith in human nature. You’re a wonder!

@wundayatta: You’d better be able to read between my lines!
For the rest of you, listen earnestly to the person who admits they may be far from perfect but at least makes efforts for realizing a positive you (two).

@hungryhungryhortence Sigh. That was an appropriately ironic response, spoken in the same spirit as your comment. But I am very good at, ahem, “reading” between lines. Oh yeah. There’s a whole novel there, if you have the eyes to look.

Ok. Good. Glad that’s settled.

I can’t give you what you deserve. And PS I am still in love with my ex, and that is not fair to you.

:(