(NSFW) Why is it fine for women to have sex toys but not for men?

Because it’s alot of fun to point and laugh at a guy’s rubber vagina ;))

It should be fine for everyone to have sex toys. My ex husband had a sex toy (I kind of freaked out when I found it under the bed after many years together because at that age I didn’t understand what it was and was pissed off that he didn’t tell me about it). I don’t mind my partner using sex toys (he doesn’t actually) but I’d mind if he wanted to keep it secret from me (because I wouldn’t understand why he couldn’t tell me).

As to why society ridicules men for having sex toys – must be because they’re thinking of dildos being used instead of the vagina and it connects to their homophobia…or it connects to them being offended that their vagina isn’t enough…come to think of it men have the same response (of being threatened) when their girlfriends use dildos.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I think when you brought up the point of some men being threatened by their gf’s sex toys that could be a huge part of it!

It doesn’t take much to make most women feel threatened when it comes to sex and rival sex… And of course men just want to knock other men out of the playing field any way they can!

Hehehe. This is making me laugh. Maybe because I don’t need to penetrate myself to…ahem. You know. Maybe because the word “Pocket pussy” is just so ridiculous sounding. Maybe because guys need so much less stimulation to ah..you know, than a woman. From a clinical standpoint, it takes a woman from 16 to ahhh I forget the numbers. The pointis that it takes a woman more stimulation and our sweet spot isn’t as easily manipulated. So we have to get out the Vooooooooo, waaaaaaaaaaaa thingy because our wrists would give out. Men, on the other hand, require nothing more than the flick of a wrist or a good stiff breeze and they’re ready to sleep like the dead. The only reason for a (snicker) pocket pussy is ther are threatened by the size, strength, and stamina of a perpetually hard latex c#*k. Hence, the derisive laughter.

two mental images…

1— a hot girl, laying on her bed with candles lit and listening to relaxing music as she pleasures her self.

2— me, pulling funny faces, sweating and pounding a piece of rubber while making grunting sounds.

your question seems very valid to me from a logical and rational point of view, but the grim reality, guys screwing rubber dolls is just creepy.

@lucillelucillelucille it sure is, lmao!!!!

@Trillian woooooo waaaaa thingy, lol

@poisonedantidote I don’t know I found both of those images exciting and rubber dolls aren’t the only sex toys around

Toys are fun and certainly add a flair to sex as long as they are not kept hidden and secret between partners. See ya…..Gary/wtf

@Trillian I’m quite surprised to hear this off you!

I’m a firm believer that women CAN cum as fast as ‘most men’ do. That’s as much down to themself as any parter or toy.

Also, surely a toy designed to give pleasure is better than using your hand? Come to think of it – how ridiculous is using your HAND instead of something made to look and feel like a vagina???

because the idea of “fleshlights” and how you would clean them is enough to make anybody gag

@Simone_De_Beauvoir

the point i was trying to get at really… a males lust is much more seedy and dark than a female lust.

like, us guys, we commit most sex crimes, we have been seen for a long time as the initiators of sex and chasers, we have a different image that the female image.

for example: hot blond teacher has sex with 14yo boy VS big strong pe/sports teacher has sex with 14yo girl.

the male here is instantly seen as a sick pervert, where the woman can be seen many other ways, such as doing it because she was lonely or in love with him despite his age.

its mrs robinson vs mr slippyfist

and i think thats why, a man, behind closed doors, pleasuring him self with a toy automatically sets off alarm bells as to what kind of person he might be.

EDIT:

btw, im very liberal on sex, i have no problem with guys using toys, im just trying to psycho analyze general society here

Bioogically speaking: because males have a predatory approach to sex. It’s the male to pick the female in nature, even thought it’s not automatic that he’ll mate with her. And that’s precisely the point, a man who needs a rubber vagina has been turned down by females so much he has to resort to buying a rubber surrogate.

Ethnically speaking, because the ideal man has no problem getting sex whenever he wants to. I.E. the same as biologically speaking.

I think I was thinking about this just yesterday. I’ve never been involved with someone who used them in real life. Online, it seems de rigeur. I mean, you aren’t actually there, so you spin a fantasy in her ear, and she uses her toys to act it out.

But a man? I suppose you could use a vibrator. I’m told it can offer some additional stimulation, although generally, that’s hardly necessary. A “pocket pussy?” Ick! Double ick! I mean, just think of the cleaning problems? And why is it necessary? Does it add anything to the experience?

They say that the mind is the greatest sex organ. I’ve found that to be true. If I’m aroused, and if my head is filled with this fantasy that is so powerful it almost seems real, then I hardly need touch my cock to make myself cum. If there’s nothing around—no images, no relationship to imagine, and my head is out of ideas, then in some cases I can’t do it at all.

I guess I think that it’s not so much that it isn’t fine for guys to have sex toys—at least genital stimulation sex toys—as it is ridiculous and sad. But men are allowed other kinds of toys with no questions asked and no snickering: whips and hand cuffs and leather and chains and all that other kind of paraphenalia. So it isn’t one size fits all here, concept-wise.

@Thammuz That’s what I was going to say… it’s all about how men are supposed to be the ones who get vagina when they want it, and if they can’t, then there’s something wrong with them.

I think it come down to society’s ideas of men and women. Men are supposed to conquer. Be able to get as many women as he wants.

women are supposed to wait and be very choosey.

So a man needing a toy means he is failing
A women using a toy means she is not out there frakking every man that come along and therefore following society’s rules.

Personally I say go have fun and don’t hurt anyone…unless they beg.

Somehow, society has convinced us that women can do anything without being questioned, therefore leaving men to answer and justify everything they do. You see it in the typical marriage where the male has to walk on eggshells to talk to his wife or he gets reprimanded for questioning his wifes superior knowledge and wisdom.

@poisonedantidote like, us guys, we commit most sex crimes, we have been seen for a long time as the initiators of sex and chasers, we have a different image that the female image. I have a hard time imagining a woman raping a man.
The whole idea of sex crime is forcing sex upon somebody else, problem is that unless you stick a strapon in a man’s ass there’s no way a woman can have sex without consent with a man. No consent = no boner.

for example: hot blond teacher has sex with 14yo boy VS big strong pe/sports teacher has sex with 14yo girl. the male here is instantly seen as a sick pervert, where the woman can be seen many other ways, such as doing it because she was lonely or in love with him despite his age. Another thing is that the male will, 99 times out of 100 be consenting with a woman, old as she may be.

@blackberry What? I don’t live on that planet.

@Blackberry Gross generalization award of the month

@poisonedantidote well as long as we’re psychoanalyzing society here, women’s lusts can be dark (you’ve never been inside my head, have you…I don’t identify as a woman but you’d identify me as such and you’d be surprised what goes on in there)...the reason why so many of the criminals you mention are men (or at least this is my take on it) is because it is generally more accepted for men to feel that they are owed instant gratification, that they can express themselves through crimes (it’s a sign of privilege).

@Simone_De_Beauvoir It is also technically impossible for a woman to rape a man without the aid of objects.

So we condemn men all the time for cheating, using prostitutes or rape – and justify it by saying they need more sex than women…

…but the idea of letting them pleasure themselves with a sex toy is laughable?

Maybe if that cheating boyfriend could have had a quick go on some vibrating pussy he wouldn’t have wanted to cheat?

@Thammuz technically, nothing is impossible…it is my absolutely belief that a man can be raped by a woman – objects or no objects included…thinking otherwise is flawed
http://charmandrigor.com/clips/details-raping.html

huuhuuuuhhhuuh! He said dark and seedy. @Blackberry why so bitter? That’s not the least bit true. Well, superior knowledge and wisdom notwithstanding but…I’d like to know what happened to you. You have it all backward and you seem like an otherwise nice guy.
Ooo look who dropped in. @sleepdoc is here! This should prove very interesting!

I see it this way. Do it or don’t do it. Whatever you choose to do you need to be comfortable with. After all you (or we) should own your own sexuality.

Yeah it was probably just me lol. Statement retracted. Maybe it’s just because females toys have been around longer.

@SomNinja Do you think most men cheat b/c they aren’t getting enough sex? Seems to me most men cheat b/c they like variety and conquest. Not much variety or conquest in a rubber object.

@Shae I can see how some people would cheat if they’re sexually frustrated though – they prob justify it to themselves by thinking that they deserve some play, finally! Not all people, though, cheat for this reason.

@Thammuz In ‘The Rookie’ Clint Eastwood gets raped by a woman!

I can see how it COULD be done – but in reality the man is likely to be a willing victim of rape by a female!

@Thammuz very good point indeed, however i would still say you can rape a man by stimulating certain areas with pressure and friction. some bondage and tools and you could rape a guy, specially a 14yo that already gets boners when there is a strong breeze. but yea, i do see what you are saying and its a very valid point indeed.

however, despite this reality, people still do hold that different opinion for men. maybe because this reaction to men masturbating is more emotional and instinctive than it is logical.

Ok, at the risk of freakin’ people out, I just want to say that a man masturbating has always fascinated me. The only one who would ever consent to doing it in front of me is the man I just recently left. He would have me pose or expose various bits and have at it while I twisted around to watch him. I found it an amazing turn on. Or is that what you were saying @poisonedantidote? What reaction to a man masturbating did you mean?

@Trillian the ’‘seedy and dark’’ reaction / view

@Simone_De_Beauvoir In his same situation i probably would’ve just asked her if we could repeat the performance when i was sober so i could at least remember.

I know it is physically possible to “rape” a man, i know erections are biological reflexes, but, come on, really? You had sex, it was a one night stand, she wanted to have sex with you so bad she took the hassle of doing it all herself, and you COMPLAIN? COME ON! There’s people who’d give their right arm to be in a situation like that, for crying out loud! The only thing he should be complaining about is that he was too drunk to remember!

Hell, i’m not a virgin and i’d still give my right leg for that (i need arms, legs i can do without).

@SomNinja if it’s actual rape and not a consensual rape fantasy, no victim is a willing victim

@Simone_De_Beauvoir you’re absolutely right, of course.

@Thammuz that situation is all but one situation and you can’t apply your own responses to the entirety of a sex…I don’t want to keep harping on this, but I would never want you to end up in a situation of being raped (no quotation marks necessary because it is real rape to some) and just because the victim is a man does NOT mean we can think ‘he should be thankful’ anymore than we need to perpetuate the myth that women rape victims ‘asked for it’

To the two men who found the idea of having to clean a rubber vagina icky:
consider who cleans real vaginas, and be grateful for our tact.

@susanc I wonder what these people who worry about cleaning a pocket pussy think women have to do with their vibrators?!?

I once jacked off wearing giant Hulk hands, does that count?

As a man, I can say I appreciate a good sex toy.

As long as she knows when to leave.

It’s not fine for men to have sex toys? Seriously? News to me.

Good question. I don’t know really. I would probably feel a little strange and a little hurt maybe, just because he knows he can have me whenever he wants. I have a good number of sex toys and I use them, and he knows when I do. If I found out he was using a doll or something then I would feel hurt. Why? I don’t know. Your question is thought provoking.

@ChazMaz As always, great answer, I’m sure you don’t mean that though, do you?

@Dibley – ;-)

@aprilsimnel I think the answers on this thread confirm it’s not acceptable for males to have sex toys!

@ChazMaz You have angered the goddess! RAAHHHH Thunder roars, lightning flashes, skulls show through the skin! For that crack(Hah! Crack! No pun intended!) you are relegated to the lowest of the nine levels of hell with only your left hand for company until we say you can come out! Raaaahhhhhh!!

@Dibley .. I think your answer has some merit here. It is like well a man can get it so why would he need anything else.

“with only your left hand for company”

I am left handed. That works just fine with me. ;-)

@ChazMaz oh, We.. we… well then Your right hand for company! Raaahhhhhhh!!!!!! More thunder and lightning. More skulls glowing red through the skin, and some frizzly hair standing on end for extra effect! Rrrraaaaahhhhhh!
You!! You and your running about, knee bent advancing type behaviour!

@Thammuz ”It is also technically impossible for a woman to rape a man without the aid of objects.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tP8VKis_GXU
It’s plenty possible!

@Trillian – I am sure I will have plenty of minions to do my bidding. Left, right or no hands.

And, we know what skulls are for. They make for great sex toys.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I’ll talk for myself, then: i don’t think i could ever be raped by a woman.
Besides, even one of those guys the article is talking about said it: “Look, I’m not sure how many guys would see this as rape. Other guys would think, This rocks! Free lay!” Yeah, many do, actually. I know i do.

And for that matter i don’t see how “Sexual assault impugns masculinity in a way that doesn’t apply to female victims’ sense of femininity.” She wanted to have sex with him, how does that deminish his masculinity? Because “I hated that I didn’t enjoy it,” says Nick. “I was a deviant, a freak. Because a real man would have fucked her blue and liked it.” What the fuck? he was drunk, he doesn’t remember! How can you say you didn’t like it, if you admitted you remember vaguely and you were piss drunk?

This whole problem seems baseless to me, by this logic any man who got laid while piss drunk (and there’s a shitload of people in that cathegory, believe me) is a potential victim of rape!

As for emotional or social blackmail (“Do me, or I’ll tell everyone you’re gay” or “Do me, or I’ll tell your girlfriend you did”) having a girlfriend who doesn’t fall for this shit helps, if she does, generally, fall for it, then say “sure, i’ll be right back” and fetch your camcorder/audio recorder and have her say that again so you have proof for your girlfreind!
While if you’re single, what do you have to lose? When i was single i was looking for sex for about 60% of my awake time!
Emotional blackmail doesn’t seem a big problem to me, really, then again i was never a really popular guy to begin with so one more person making fun of me wouldn’t have been a big change in high school, and outside that context i hardly imagine someone telling EVERYONE i was gay.

Then again, this would be MY reactions, i can’t speak for everybody, and i assumed it was obvious in my older posts.

@ChazMaz Oooooo! You are in SOOOOO much trouble!!!

@Thammuz I appreciate that, it is always better to just speak for yourself – also I hope no one ever proves you otherwise
It really doesn’t matter what other guys would think – a victim of rape is a victim and to me, at least, it matters that they felt violated. His masculinity can be affected regardless of whether or not the woman in question wanted to have sex because people’s gender identities are not all about who they have sex with – it’s a core part of how they feel about themselves A person can be drunk and then later remember that they didn’t like something done to them, I see no issue with that. And yes by this (acceptable, imo) logic any man (like any woman) who got drunk and someone had sex with them against their will (even if that understanding came to them later, when sober) is a potential rape victim. And while you’re immune to emotional blackmail (kudos to you), others aren’t.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Agreed, we’re not all alike, afterall.

there is no difference, its way harder to find a decent male sex toy though, if you go to a sex shop there are way more female sex toys….and guys generally just need some porn lube and a towel…the towel is the important thing….

Because the stereotype is that when a man and woman have sex, the guy is going to get off no matter what. The woman is only going to if the guy is patient and caring and generous and such. Under that thinking, women don’t often get as much pleasure from intercourse as the guy does. Therefore their “need” for a sex toy is more acceptable, and doesn’t mean anything at all about their ability to land a guy. On the other side, if a guy needs a sex toy, it’s because he can’t get a real life woman in the first place.

@SomNinja – Yeah, noted.

I personally believe that it’s fine for any adult to have whatever toy they want, as long as they’re not hurting anyone with it, well, at least without permission.

Sex toys for men- WOW! totally a good thing! I have butt plugs, vibrating vagina’s, a doll with both and then there are the toy’s we both can use. I tell the wife I am warming up for her and we all know that practice make perfect and better staying power…

I think it is ok, but I think only a low pecentage of men are interested in tem.

@evandad you can bet if men could get over the stigma attached to sex toys, they’d ALL find one that works. And then buy 100 more.

What man doesn’t enjoy masturbation? They’ll tell you otherwise, but from socks to fruit to a hole in the ground – men will stick their dick in ANYTHING that feels good. They just don’t want to get caught doing it. ;)

I can tell you that a sock does NOT feel good.

@Sarcasm LOL I’d have to agree… but then some people like to rub it against a cheesegrater…

Aside from the beads, which we used together, none of the “toys” has any appeal to me. They appear to be just an inadequate simulation of the real deal. Only if you include bondage gear under the heading of “toys”, but such things are unisex.
My ladys use of a vibrator never intimidated me. Watching her use it actually gave me ideas about how to please her better.

@poisonedantidote – “guys screwing rubber dolls is just creepy.”

Creepy it maybe, but when the needs must!...... I mean, what if you don’t live near a field an theres no sheep to be found!.......

I don’t have a blow up doll by the way! The wife threw it out!

Girls screwing a dismembered rubber cock is quite creepy, if you look at it that way…

@SomNinja – I don’t find it creepy, but then again, I’m a bloke!

@lucillelucillelucille i think a rubber dick has way more hilarity than saaaay.. a fleshlight..

@Xilas – Whats a, never mind, I’ll goggle it!......

LOL they’d be good as long as your Granny isn’t visiting and tries to use the torch…

Who says men can’t have sex toys?! It’s totally ok for men to have sex toys. It’s way more common than you think. On most sex toy sites, there is a section for just men

Who says it’s fine?

My lady satisfied all of my needs. We used a few toys together, but I never felt the need for anything artificial alone.

Here is another thought: why is it fine for girls to play with dolls when they are little AND soldiers when they are older, but men are ridiculed for EVER playing with dolls and if they want to keep playing with soldiers after about age 9 they have to become one themselves? Because women are better than men. Face it guys, we suck.

@rockzom Gender norms are socialized – it shouldn’t be okay. No one gender sucks.