Social Question

dr34m3r's avatar

Meeting SO's parents?

Asked by dr34m3r (308 points ) February 9th, 2010

Any tips for a classy lad about to meet a classy girl’s parents for the first time?

How was the first meeting of your SO’s parents? Relate the entire story to Fluther, so an unexperienced soul like me can glean some knowledge.

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23 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

How many volumes are acceptable?

dr34m3r's avatar

as many as you need ;)

lilikoi's avatar

I just always try to stay calm and be myself. Thank God I’ve never had an experience like those in the movies!

drhat77's avatar

I TOTALLY lucked out my wife’s mom was a doctor like me so we talked shop and I was in like flint (whatever that means).

Do your homework on her parents. ask her about them. go through their garbage. That way, you make yourself knowledgeable on their interests, do a little pre-reading, and sound articulate.

Likeradar's avatar

I’m not gonna relate the whole story, but here’s some tips based on my experiences:

Make it obvious through your body language and your words that you have every intention of being nice to and are into their daughter, but don’t touch her too much.

Depending on where the meeting’s taking place- offer to pay (if you can, and back off graciously if they say no), or bring a bottle of decent wine if they’re drinkers and you’re over 21. If it’s at their home, compliment the food if there is any. Find something in the decor you like and tell them why. Follow their house rules.

Dress well, but not pretentiously. (an ex once met my dad for the first time at a nice restaurant in flip-flops).

It’s ok if you’re a little nervous. It’s a sign that you’re doing something you consider important. They may be nervous too.

Be the best version of your genuine self, and good luck. :)

marauder76's avatar

More details would help. How old are you both? How long have you been together? Is this a cohabitation situation or a high school crush?

Oxymoron's avatar

Be yourself. Make sure you talk a lot and no matter what they say, agree. Ha ha.

Likeradar's avatar

@Oxymoron I hate to say this again, but I respectfully disagree with “no matter what they say, agree”. If you want them to get to know you, let them see that you are an intelligent person with views you can express respectfully. Don’t get into politics or “hot button” issues while you’re still testing the waters, but don’t be a yes man. It’s usually transparent and unflattering.

Judi's avatar

If you are a nervous “drinker” stick to ice tea or you will embarrass yourself.
do as much reconnaissance as you can. Get to know your targets and study up on their interests.
Bring flowers (simple wild flowers and not to big) for mom.
Find out if Dad like cigars and if he does, get him a nice one.
Know the family favorite sports teams
Ask to see embarrassing childhood pictures of your SO.

Oxymoron's avatar

@Likeradar – I was just joking, ha ha.

Kiev749's avatar

Yes, know the family sports. and teams. that is key. as it can provide a great conversation tool. “Oh i see so and so picked up so and so, that could really improve their pitching this year” but if they dont even watch what you are referencing… Awkward turtle…

Nullo's avatar

Dress nicely (appropriate to the situation), be friendly and polite. Compliments are good, so long as they are not used excessively.

Violet's avatar

Meeting a girl’s parents is much different than meeting a guy’s parents.
When meeting a girl’s parents, don’t act too confident, or cocky. It’s ok to be a little on the shy side. Know what you want in life. Have goals.
Don’t talk about: anything like getting kicked out of a school, getting in any kind of trouble, anything wrong with your family, and mental disorders, grades (unless you have great grades), drinking/drugs

onesecondregrets's avatar

They loved me because I was myself. All the parents of the boys I date tell them “they better not mess this up” or “keep her around” or after dating me and fucking up “She was probably the best one you ever had” The boys I date, are blamed by their parents, for losing me.

BE YOURSELF, THEY WILL LOVE YOU.
Unless yourself is an asshole, then I don’t know why the girl’s dating you.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

It’s important. Don’t judge your SO by their parents.

Sophief's avatar

When we met my dad for the first time, my boyfriend bought all the drinks and the meal, we all got on very well, at that time.

When we met mum, we met her at her house, she just took to him straight, just because he makes me so happy.

When I met his parents, his mum was more concerned about if I can cook and look after her boy! So I showed her round our kitchen and showed her recipes I cook for him. They saw I look after him and adore him, so they were happy, even on our first meeting they classed me as part of their family.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

My ladys mother died when she was ten. The father and stepmother were estranged from her. They wouldn’t even see her, much less me. They never even RSVPed the wedding invitation. A sad situation. I sent her father a letter after her death and he never even acknowledged that. I’ve never met him, but was told he had a severe drinking problem and violence issues.

ModernEpicurian's avatar

Hmm, it’s massively different depending upon the parents. I also think that it differs massively depending upon what the SO has told the parents. When I met the parents of my girlfriend in High school I got on brilliantly with the mother but not so well with the father (protective of his little girl).

drhat77's avatar

@Likeradar I wasn’t able to follow the link on my phone but I googled it and I feel so dirty for make to a reference to Errol Flynn getting acquitted for statutory rape I really especially given the question shouldn’t say things when I don’t understand their context

Likeradar's avatar

@drhat77 I didn’t know what it meant either til I looked it up :)

dr34m3r's avatar

@marauder76 we are both seniors in highschool

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