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How do you tell your spouse you think she may have PMDD?

Asked by maccmann (659points) February 10th, 2010

This is a tuffy. And I’m not joking around here people, this is serious so please, I am asking now: no joking around from you please either. I am in a serious situation here and I need quality, helpful, input.

My wife has been experiencing some serious emotional issues, especially anger, and depression which are exacerbated to extremes by what I believe to be PMDD. (If you don’t know what that is, Google it and come back here.) This has become very, very bad. To the point where about every month or couple of months for almost a year now she has lashed out at me with wild accusations and speculations about various bad things I have not done, she has gotten physical with me once, pushing me into the wall while screaming in my face. She flies into a rage and is quite scary.

This trend has been proven numerous times because I know when her periods are and they coincide with the hyper-moods she exhibits.

Things got worse for her one time when the stresses of several events got to be too much for her, and she got on a mild anti-anxiety drug and it helped, but this was only because she recognized it herself and voluntarily went to the doctor.

Also, after a time-usually a long time, like a month or so-she calms down and is as sweet as can be. But eventually it goes back to her being crazy angry and unmanageable again.

We have been on rocky ground because of this. What’s more is that she has developed a warped view of me and my behavior because of it as well. She constantly convinces herself that she is married to a bad husband, which I am not. A bad husband wouldn’t be sticking by her and trying to help.

So how the hell do I tell her she needs help? Because she does! And NOW! I can’t just tell her or she’ll think that I am trying to manipulate her (another growing problem) and then go into a rage and just plain lose it again. I’m stuck here for what to do. I wanted to get an “everyman” opinion before approaching any mental health pros, and actually am not even certain how to do that.

Any and all answers (EXCEPT for flippant ones) are appreciated!

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