What do you do when your parents are in bitch mode?
My parents have been bugging the shit out of me becasue they think i spend to much outside hanging out with friends. And my mom Is always telling me that shes going to call the police if i dont get home on time..Ugh i hate her so much sometimes!!
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48 Answers
Get your butt home on time. Be responsible, and they’ll back off.
You could make an effort to spend more time at home, and get home on time. Then they’d have no reason to be in bitch mode.
@Val123 Jinx.
That’s parents for you. When you get older you will see it was just for your own good. You ought to tell her that at least your are not playing video games all day that are full of violence and then go out kill people!
Do what your name says to do?
Either you poke them with a stick until they change their attitude or follow their rules as you still live under their roof ;)
yeah but i always get home like at 5:30 or 6:00 pm and they know that so shouldnt they get used to it already? I mean they know who im with and where im at, shouldnt that be enough?
Sing them a song. Smack my bitch up would be suitable, probably.
@Dibley 5:30 for dinner I would assume.
@smokeweedeveryday….? Where are you prior to 5:30 or 6? This through a weird kink in the Q. @Dibley. Double jinx!!! Only I started to ask if he was 7!
No dinner I make my own food
Parents worry about their children. Be home at the time they tell you to, and your life will improve dramatically.
No Im not 6 or 7 but i mean i wish i could get home at midnight but if i do then they will kick me out of the house!
You are going to have to give us a lot more infomation about this situation. we need who, what, when, where and why answers from you. making your own food, blew my mind.
@john65pennington Yes a little hypocritical worrying about him all day and then not cooking for him.
@Val123 Some parents never back off
@OP What did I do? I moved out.
Ok well im go to jack in the box after school and stay there and chill and my mom calls and asks me where im at and i tell her and then like 30 minutes later she calls again and when i get home she doesnt talk to me b/c she doesnt believe me
Dibley. this person is not telling us all the facts of the situation. it appears they are not intentionally giving us their age for a reason. agree?
Im 16. I Cook my own food because i dont want to ask them to cook for me. Becaus i mean there already mad
Hold it. your parents, by law, have to provide a roof over your head and food for you to eat. it appears your parents are abiding by the law and the problem may be with you. you are 16. what grade are in at school?
That why i dont ask them because i can make my own food. But sometimes they do
yes i am telling you the whole thing. they like dont trust me i guess you can say
Tell us why you believe your parents do not trust you? you are leaving out a big part of this story and it shows.
John65: They even tell me that theyhad it with me coming home so “late” and that there going to kick me out. Ima junior
Because i fucked up on them to many times but u have changed. Like im getting good grades in my classes and im looking for a job as well.
What do your parents consider as “late” and what do you consider as late. it appears you do not want to abide by the house rules your parents have given you. is this close to the truth for you?
late for them is like 6 and thats why they want me to come home at that time. and for me well i wounldt mind coming home untill curfew which is at 10
You are telling us that you, at age 16, are staying away from your home, until 10 pm? what are you doing in those four hours? i assume your parents also wonder about those four hours. we all live by rules and regulations. since you are a minor, you have no choice in the wishes of your parents, as long as their rules are legal and not immorale.
No i dont come home at 10. i wish but no. we come out at 3 form school and me and my friends go to jack and munch out so yeah i mean do you think that coming home at 6 is such a big deal i mean there are times that i have gotten home like at 9:30pm and i got in huge trouble for that. i try and talk to her that its not a bi deal at least she knows where im at and who im with. like i come home at 6 and she doesnt even talk to me. like yesterday she didnt talk to me all day.
OK. Do your parents expect you to come straight home from school to touch base with them, and make whatever plans for the rest of the afternoon? If that’s what they’ve asked you to do, and you’re not doing it, then I see what the problem is. I can understand their point of view. I get the feeling that you don’t want them to know where you are and what you’re doing, hence you don’t contact them after school to tell them. They have to track you down, which can’t help but lead to suspicion on their part.
Perhaps that’s not the situation, but you’re leaving us with no choice but to come to our own assumptions. You’re also not communicating very well. One minute you say that your folks feel that coming in at 6 is “late”, the next you’re saying one time you didn’t get home until 9:30 and got in all kinds of trouble.
Also, you said you’d like to stay out until “10:00, curfew….” Whose curfew is that? I know some towns have a curfew for underage kids, but it’s more like 11 or 12. So who set that 10:00 curfew?
You’re confusing the heck out of us.
Whatever you do, don’t drop out of school now…..
Reading @Val123 response made me think about this question. What are your parents expectations, guidelines, rules for what they want you to do? Maybe if you don’t know ask them. I’m assuming it’s something like come home from school and check in or call after you get out of school and tell them where you are going to be. What are they expecting, what do they think would be appropriate?
@limeaide Thank you! I get a little complicated sometimes!
I wonder if they are worried that you smoke weed everyday.
Seems like you and your parents don’t actually have conversations. Maybe don’t know how/don’t want to try. Practicing on a group of strangers (us) may help, but of course we can’t change this situation.
Maybe you’d like to ask them if they would
please sit down with you because you have an idea that might help. Then tell them you think the three of you aren’t getting anywhere. (I think they’ll agree.) Then ask if they’d be willing to involve a counselor, who might be able to find common ground, so that the three of you can make some agreements.
Would it be better for you to just continue being angry?
It might be. And getting stoned every day will help you to do that.
My mom used to say to me “I can only judge your friends by the way you act when you’re around them ”
Her judgement was always right. The friends she didn’t like me hanging out with WERE bad news.
Your user name suggests she is worried about more than high calorie, low nutrition Jack in the Box food.
So, you are looking for a job, but don’t have one. You cook your own food, but you “munch out” at the Jack. I’m curious. How do you get the money to buy food at the Jack? How do you buy food to cook for yourself? How do you pay for that cell phone on which your mother calls you?
@bean, ignore who? us or the parents?
I’m seeing some blank spots here too, agreeing with everyone else, I think there’s more to the story here. Here’s what I think, I being a parent myself, would be worried about where my kids are when I expect them to be home at a time. Yes, I think 5:30–6 is a little early, so therefore I’m guessing that this is one of the chunks missing from the story. Now, I’m sure that parents of a 16 year old shouldn’t be worrying where he is at 5 or 6. So, I’m not thinking that 5 and 6 is the time limit. Now, why should parents be worrying at times like 5 or 6, maybe because they haven’t heard from you all day. Do you call them so they know where you are? Do you call them to tell them where you are after school? Do you call them to tell them when you’re coming home or who you’re with? i think there are two sides of this story, and to all of us, it’s unclear what’s happening on both sides of the story. I think that if you’re parents are responsible enough of raising you, sending you to school, etc, then they’re normal enough to be able to know where you are, and send you to school etc. then they are normal enough to not need you to come home as early as 5, and it’s their responsibility as parents who care, to know where you are. Maybe they want you home so they know that you’re safe (stupid i know, but I like to know if my kids are at friends’ houses, or whatever) and..maybe they’re normal enough to care where you are. So I’m thinking, that they don’t know where you are because you don’t want them to know, or you aren’t telling them.
ignore the parents… don’t talk back to them but just take it in… My mum has a short tempered… she can say a lot of wacky things… i’ve been in this situation… though my mum was bluffing, trying to scare me with threats… I don’t talk back to her (there are a few times i did) I just ignore it… and sometimes I keep in mind what she says to me… I tell her I don’t like it (but when parents are angry they don’t listen to you) and there are a few times where I have decided to stay home or come home early to just let her have it her way… When she’s in a good mood she can understand where I’m coming from and sometimes will apologies for the way she acted
should of elaborated more before haha srry
@smokeweedeveryday, welcome to fluther. Here’s a little hint about posting: after you post, there’s a little red link beneath it and to the right that says “Edit this response.’ It stays active for about ten minutes, giving you time to change or add to your answer. That way you don’t have to make post after post just to build on your own comment. It’s a little tidier that way.
@mollypop51797 yes, I would call my parents – if i’m going to stay out I could see where they are coming from… the best thing or any one could do is at least give your parents a call just so they hear your voice and know your ok… that’s one thing we should all do
Ok, I’ve been thinking. I am taking my parenting skills into this situation, which probably most likely, doesn’t answer your question or help you in any way. We all have, except for @bean :). Well, here’s what I say, giving you what I think and shoving my parenting skills out of this. I think that when parents come around and situations that make you want to hate them are hard. The saying “hurting only makes you stronger” or something like that, well I personally don’t fully support that. When it comes to family, I don’t think that applies. You can hurt a family member so badly, that it has long term affects. Yes, maybe that situation has made you stronger, but I don’t think it makes your relationship with that person stronger. Anyway, I’m saying this because it links with your situation. What are you supposed to do when you want to pull your hair out? What are you supposed to do when you want to fire back at that person? What are you supposed to do? Well, I’m going to have to agree with @bean. I think you should ignore them, but not to the point where you end up having to never talk to them for the next month or year etc (which hopefully won’t happen). I think you should just ignore the situation, not the person. it will help you cool down, it will not make the situation worse, and it won’t worsen anything either. The only bad thing about this, is that it is very hard to do. With my daughters (who are entering teenage years) there have been big fights, talking back, punishing, etc. But, we both cool down, and fights are gone. It’s not that hard once you have the control of being able to cool down. But, as hard as this may sound, when you want to pull their hair out walk away, cool down, let it go. And, as cheesy as this may sound, be thankful for them, make a friendship (well you don’t have to go this far), but just accept that they care about you. Show it back. Just be thankful, because you won’t ever have as much appreciation for them, and you won’t truly know how great they are till you don’t have them. But you don’t need to worry about that now. ;)
@mollypop51797 yeah, I agree with you
though, if my mum tells me off or becomes short tempered I ignore her, you don’t want to say something that your mum doesn’t let go or forget about, don’t forget the phrase ‘if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all’ ignore the situation.
It depends what age you are when going out late, When I turned 18 my mum was still having major trouble letting me go… wanting me to call her every 5 minutes… I thought it was ridiculous and unhealthy, but giving her a phone call every once in a while was fare because she wasn’t use to this but being 18 I needed to started having some more freedom and just going out with friends and being social but my mum became very short tempered and started making ridiculous threats so i ignored it and went out, txt her or gave her a call… some times she got so mad she wouldn’t care and I wouldn’t call, but as long as you don’t say anything to make her even more angry things will cool off eventually or sooner.
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