Social Question

tytyslim's avatar

Is it possible to be attractive to many, but desirable to few?

Asked by tytyslim (65 points ) February 19th, 2010

In my life I have come across many different looking people. People many would say are very attractive, good looking, average, or other. What I have found interesting is that despite their so called “attractiveness” some people just have a natural desirability factor. I’ve met attractive people who have great personalities, social skills, good hygiene (lol).. and who are constantly told by others/strangers they are attractive. However, they have the hardest time getting dates. While there are others with the same qualities, but their “lil black books” are full! What is it? Can you be attractive to many, but desirable to few?

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14 Answers

Steve_A's avatar

Yes, attractiveness does not equal compatibility and chemistry.

MrItty's avatar

Of course it is. Attractiveness just means how good-looking someone is. It says absolutely nothing about their character, personality, morality, culture, religion, humor, wealth, maturity, or anything else that people consider when deciding upon a romantic partner.

You can be the best looking guy in the world, and still be a stinky, smelly, satanist, poor, rude, angry, immature asshole. :)

UScitizen's avatar

I have approached many attractive women, only to find, that after about six or ten sentences from their mouths, I am prepared to excuse myself.

Cruiser's avatar

In my experience this would be true more often than not. Very pretty people I have met and even dated are so often so concerned over their looks that they lack a genuine appreciation of their own self….they always have to be perfect and hardly ever comfortable in their own skin and heaven forbid you see them in the morning before they had a chance to do their primping an preening. When you do meet that exception to this rule they are usually outstanding very confident people. Like me! lol just kidding

ldeb's avatar

I agree that an attractive person with a low self esteem might have trouble dating. They also may have trouble finding dates because they have set the bar too high.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Yep. She was gorgeous but too high maintenance.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Some of my friends are very pretty and have never had a problem getting a date.The one’s that keep them just have a prettier personality :)

augustlan's avatar

Absolutely.But you also have to account for the fact that many people won’t even approach highly attractive people, because they feel they are “out of their league”. That could definitely be a factor in why some very attractive people don’t get a lot of dates.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@augustlan -Confidence is everything :)

airowDee's avatar

Just ask Marilyn Monroe.

thriftymaid's avatar

I think we’ve all seen good looking people that we wouldn’t spend an hour with.

rere's avatar

it is possible .Many people are beautiful but empty headed and have a bad personality.

Pandora's avatar

Some are very attractive but have this best friend quality that people just don’t want to risk by trying to date them. Very attractive people can sometimes just make someone feel inferior by just being more attractive than they are.
I think for the most part, people try to find someone they feel they are equal too. No matter how nice a person is, many just think the attractive person is out of their league.
Boys or girls, many still have a fear of rejection. So nothing ventured, no broken ego.

seazen_'s avatar

Sad but possible, of course.

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