Social Question

polycinco's avatar

Why do some people underestimate you without even knowing that they are doing it?

Asked by polycinco (187 points ) February 26th, 2010

It has happened to me sometimes, people don’t even think that I am in the room or paying attention while they without paying attention say things or don’t say antyhing about your work.

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33 Answers

Vunessuh's avatar

Because they are human.

polycinco's avatar

hmm I guess you’re right.

polycinco's avatar

has it every happened to you?

CMaz's avatar

Sounds like you have to come up with a different Modus operandi when around others.

njnyjobs's avatar

@Vunessuh excuse me, but not all humans do that, so that answer is not acceptable. . .
people can be morons or jerks, who are possibly mindless arrogants.

Yes this has happened to me and I don’t let it bother me because in the end I always have the last laugh.

Vunessuh's avatar

@polycinco Of course it has. It sucks to be alone in a room full of people. Perhaps you should hang around a different crowd.

@njnyjobs Excuse me, but the reason why it happens is because they are human and humans do that sometimes without realizing it. Relax and take a Xanax and don’t tell me how to answer a question. Thanks.

Just_Justine's avatar

I can only say that we then have underestimated ourselves. In order for this to happen. Not knowing all the facts of course, I am taking your sentence in isolation and in absolution. I think if we are devalued or ignored somewhere along the line, we didn’t have the confidence to place ourselves correctly in a situation beforehand.

davidbetterman's avatar

Because they are morons.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

To be underestimated can sometimes be an asset.I have played that angle like a Stradivarius.Waaa haa haa haaaa…

njnyjobs's avatar

@Vunessuh I’m not telling you how to answer a question, only saying that your answer basically paints the whole human race with the same brush. I don’t care if you’re guilty of the deed but I think most people here will disagree. The issue happens because of some other reason and not simply by being a human. . . and yes, you are excused!

I also agree with @lucillelucillelucille position of exuding a hapless persona…it comes in handy when there is competition involved.

Vunessuh's avatar

I never painted the whole human race as anything. You made that generalization all by yourself. Congratulations.
I didn’t mean that all humans are like that. I meant that when it happens, we’re only human, so what else can you possibly expect?

But I’m sure this has happened to most people as well as most people doing this to others without realizing it. They are unconscious actions.

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

Maybe you haven’t proven yourself to them yet.

Blackberry's avatar

If a toddler challenged you to a battle, are you going to take it seriously? You are doing something that makes people see you as that toddler.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@Vunessuh-Can I paint Robert Shaw?
@Blackberry -That has happened to me before.His name was Bob.He was thirty .I won.His name is now “Wobbly Bob”.Biggest baby that ever lived!;)
@njnyjobs -I just let them think what they want about me.Then make them cry like a little girl when needed ;)

marinelife's avatar

You may need to take up more space when you are in a room, perhaps announce yourself.

wundayatta's avatar

Why is it that everyone else seems to be able to understand the question and I don’t? Could someone please translate for me?

What I think this says is that the OP is in a room with fellow workers. The fellow workers do not see the OP or notice the OP and say things about the OP’s work. Unless they don’t say things about the OP’s work. Which pretty much covers everything.

Are these things they say critical or approving? Is the OP disappointed when they don’t say anything? What does this have to do with underestimation? Isn’t this more like ignoring or not noticing? I really don’t understand.

DarkScribe's avatar

People don’t underestimate you at all. All that they do is to form an opinion about you. It is you who then assumes that their opinion is wrong. Maybe they are right and the real problem is that you overestimate yourself?
It doesn’t really matter – there will always be people who have opinions that you don’t agree with. As long as those who you care about hold you in high esteem you shouldn’t have cause for concern.

Cruiser's avatar

In general people are underestimated because they are for the most part underestimateable. So unless, like Lucille said you are playing that angle to ply an advantage in a situation and if you do want to appear less unnoticed, you will need to work on being and appearing more assertive and noticeable! So in short stop being a wall flower!

Merriment's avatar

I do not think they are unaware of it.

They are aware of what they are doing and it happens because you allow it to happen.

There may be a host of good reasons why you allow it, but in the end, the only way they can talk about you as if you are deaf and mute is if you act deaf and mute.

When they mention your work that is your cue to speak up if you have something to say. If you wait for an engraved invitation to speak your mind you’ll be waiting a long, long, long time.

partyparty's avatar

Announce yourself when you go in a room, move about more, make conversation yourself. MAKE yourself noticed.

Bronny's avatar

because they are most likely obnoxious and rely on their falsely inflated egos to feel satisfied in life.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

Your question was about one thing: chauvinism, prejudice and some forms of bigotry, for example, will make people think that they are automatically better than you in some things, sometimes with no evidence or even with contradictory evidence.

But the discussion you added is another thing entirely. People ignoring you or not even being aware of you can be all of the above plus narcissism, conceit or just general oblivion. Or because you’re good at not making any noise as you hide under your desk.

ratboy's avatar

Because I look like a twerp, I speak like a fuckin’ toad, and I am as stupid as a stone. Fuckin’ ignorant assholes!

SundayKittens's avatar

We teach people how to treat us.

evandad's avatar

Don’t let them bother you. You’re smart enough to realize that what they’re doing is stupid. They’re just stuck with being stupid. Get use to it because there’s lots of them out there.

Val123's avatar

I don’t understand the question.

polycinco's avatar

thank you!

MorenoMelissa1's avatar

People tend to underestimate others because they don’t understand the situation. I live with people who don’t understand the fact that I have problems with low selfesteem and a body image problem. They critize because they don’t understand, it takes walking in ones shoes before you can truely understand their situation.

YARNLADY's avatar

@wundayatta I believe they are using some kind of facebook/myspace talk, which is similar to text speech, only uses full words, with very little attention to grammar or syntax.

gemiwing's avatar

Perhaps the why isn’t as important as what you’re going to do about it. We could sit here for years philosophizing about why humans do what they do and it would change nothing.

Figure out what you want to happen and go about making it so. Announce yourself, own your own space and remember some people are just idiots.

DrMC's avatar

because I am sneaking up behind them, and they didn’t know that panda’s become carnivorous on full moons.

Muhahaaha

Anyone have the steak sauce?

faye's avatar

Are you sure they are? What is an example?

stardust's avatar

@njnyjobs We,as human beimg’s are fallible. I think that was @Vunessuh ‘s stance.

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