What would a three-quarters successful exorcism look like?
I said exorcism, not orgasm. Get your minds out of the gutter.
So I made a flip comment and someone called my bluff. Now I need ideas. How could an exorcism be only three-quarters successful?
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49 Answers
Isn’t that just a woman on her period?
If you were performing an exorcism on 4 people at once and only 3 were successfully exorcised.
Demons aren’t real. Therefore exorcising demons is about as legitimate practice as leeching.
Barbara Bush when she wakes, is the horrific vista that i’m getting.
What @jfos said sounds the most plausible.
I thought that exorcisms either worked or didn’t. I suppose that ¾ of one would be the part where the demon’s on its way out.
@Captain_Fantasy I wouldn’t be so hasty to make that claim; I’ve known a handful of exorcists, and they seem on the level. Furthermore, there’s a Biblical precedent for the practice.
Leeching wasn’t such a bad thing, either. It’s great for reducing swelling without lancing the area, especially over a long period when repeat incisions would be needed to circumvent clotting.
Isn’t that when your head only turns 90 degrees instead of a full 360? :-)
The person would only be able to spin their head around ¾ of the way instead of all the way.
@marinelife Wouldn’t it be ¼ of the way (e.g. 90 degrees)? If the exorcism was 100% successful, it wouldn’t spin around at all. If it was ¾ successful, you should lose 270 degrees of rotation from 360. Therefore, 90 degrees!
I can’t believe I’m engaging in exorcism math. Much more fun than any of the math classes I ever took.
When you don’t get the Demon completely out, it comes back to “Repossess” you!
I’m confused. I thought it was when you only ran ¾ of the way around the track.
It wont look like anything. It cant work.
That is like saying my house won’t burn down since it is only three-quarters on fire.
And, what @jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities is about to say. :-)
Yeah, I’m with @Captain_Fantasy on this one. It wouldn’t look like anything, because it’s just a ridiculous superstition.
Maybe it’s when you use the “Nautil”, and ignore the “us”.
Only an arm or a leg vould still be possessed and it would constantly kick or punch the rest of the body
This made me laugh so hard. We always used to say my history teacher was the result of a ¾ exorcism! rofl…. friggin Incubus. I love it. Thank you for this thread!
@Nullo You are aware that just saying you know an exorcist that seems ‘on the level’ doesn’t prove demons and exorcism right?
“The power of christ compels you.“Just love the way Von Sydow delivers that line.Feel free to carry on.
The devil comes out, sees his shadow, and goes back in for six more weeks.
Lemme guess….a kinky sexual position?
Boringly, it would look like your average human.
A martini made with 3 shots of Midori and 1 shot of Draino?
@ucme oh, that’s not nice about BB; she’s a nice lady. But you got me thinking:
Maybe that’s what W was: a ¾ exorcism of his mom.
@wundayatta Oh, pardon me, I don’t wanna spoil all the fun. :)
I suppose it would look something like this.
A ride at Magic Mountain roller coaster park?
A name for a really bad stinky fart.
oh…you said LOOK like.
sorry.
No demons, no exorcism.
Done deal
@Captain_Fantasy Clearly you are a tough demon nut to crack. It is clear we must consider a kidnapping and a deprogramming. Or, perhaps, only three quarters of one!
@OneMoreMinute the ride at Magic Mountain if the coaster malfunctions and stops right at the FLASH point!
Amy Winehouse is such a SKANK.
@stratman37 An insult to a SKANK.Is that the bastard offspring of a skunk & a tank?
Assuming an exorcism could ever accomplish the intended goal of banishing evil demonic spirits possessing the soul of a human being, the outcome would be binary, like getting pregnant.
Either it works, or it does not work.
At least with pregnancy, the outcome is real and verifiable.
Exorcism is an extreme case of an out of control priest torturing some poor mentally ill person under the guise of religious healing. The motivation is usually irrational fear and the response is the abuse of another human being that is nothing short of torture.
@Dr_Lawrence building on the concept of mental illness, if you were possesed by legion
Then you would get most of the buggers out, but would retain a personality disorder or two, like being on sub-therapeutic seroquel. Like Sybil, but a little less crowded inside.
We have to admit, that our local psychotics often enjoy the attention and external locus of control. (the devil made me do it)
Muahahahahhahahaha
(no longer dispossessed)
I don’t think there is any such thing. A demon would either have a person or not right?
Theoretically though, I think that it would be a little girl who would fly around the room, regurgitate green slime, and speak in demonic tongues a whole lot less.
The demons are wearing capris?
@Blackberry
Yes, I am aware that it’s not solid proof, and probably wouldn’t hold up in a court of law. Nevertheless, it does help shore up certain others of my beliefs. It is the evidence equivalent of a penny—not much on its own, but toss it in with a thousand others and you’ve got something.
Saying demonic possesion is binary – negates the spiritual relationship.
While you can have a relationship with a demon – it is most certainly not binary as to the degree of relationship. Whether or not there is a relationship is binary.
We all have some degree of habitation. What you become, depends on how much you feed and interact with spiritually with that entity
See the tale of two wolves.
A three-quarters successful exorcism would look like my dad when he wakes up in the morning. I’ll post a picture.
A three-quarters successful exorcism?
That is like a three-quarters successful erection.
@ChazMaz Or being three-quarters pregnant…
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