General Question

jctennis123's avatar

Are you happy being single?

Asked by jctennis123 (427 points ) February 26th, 2010

Are you happy being single? I was asked this question today and I wasn’t sure whether I was happy or not being single. After thinking about it I decided that, although I am not looking for a girlfriend, it would be really nice to have a high value girl in my life who we could both add and improve each others already awesome lives. What about you?

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54 Answers

KatawaGrey's avatar

I am not single at the moment but when I was, I was never unhappy. In my opinion, people who don’t like being single are unhappy for a completely unrelated reason. I have seen countless times where someone has complained and complained about being single, then they get an SO and are still unhappy only now they don’t know why.

I was always happy when I was single. I never saw any reason to be in a relationship unless there was particular person with whom I wanted to be.

ETpro's avatar

I wasn’t the last time I was single, but that was 35 years ago. And given the experience of the last 35 years, I’d work a lot harder at being happy if I became single again. :-)

TexasDude's avatar

This question is tougher than it seems. I’m not actively seeking a girlfriend, and I am close with a girl, though a relationship looks very unlikely at the moment. I would enjoy contact with a female, but I’m not the type who goes out actively seeking sex or that sort of thing. I’m pretty happy being on my own I suppose. I’m not really the best boyfriend material anyway.

dogkittycat's avatar

I’m currently single, I’m looking for a boyfriend but I’m not miserable. There are a few possibilities but I’m not in a rush to find one. I like having my free time to catch up on my reading, and school work since I’ll be missing school for a tournament. That and I’m too busy planning my trip to Germany, I’m too busy to have a bf right now and that is perfectly okay with me.

jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities's avatar

Very much so. Actually, I find I’m usually a bit happier when I’m single. I guess I just haven’t found that right person yet, but I’m not rushing it. All is well.

njnyjobs's avatar

Being happy is how you make of your life. It has nothing to do with being single or attached. I was happy when I was single because I was able to live it up the single way. Being attached or married doesn’t mean life becomes instantly happy for an unhappy single person. Life is a lot of work and depending on how you work it will determine whether you will have happiness or otherwise.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

I can be happy being single, or in a relationship. If a relationship is particularly bad or unhappy, then I’m definitely happy being single. That said, it’s never a good thing to think that you can’t be happy unless you’re in a relationship. Life is generally what you make it, no matter what.

KatawaGrey's avatar

@ETpro: But being single again is almost always worse than just being single. :)

Supacase's avatar

One of the happiest times in my life was when I was purposely single for two years. I had just come out of a terrible relationship and realized that I always changed myself to fit the life of everyone I had dated – I would get so wrapped up in them that I lost myself. So I decided to spend some time on me.

I enjoyed my alone time. I could watch whatever I wanted, eat what I wanted, read when I wanted, go out when I wanted without having to answer to anyone or wonder if they would get mad. Most of all, I loved, loved, loved living by myself.

SeventhSense's avatar

I’m content.

aprilsimnel's avatar

…both add and improve each others already awesome lives.

Yeah, that. That’s just how I feel. It’s not being coupled that’s so important, it’s that the person who’d be coupled with me adds to my life and I to his. That’s what I’m expecting. Otherwise, I’m enjoying myself fine as a singleton.

XOIIO's avatar

I’ve been happy single my whole life.

I’m a sociopath but the point still stands, right?

J0E's avatar

I’m usually okay with it, but there have been times recently where I wish there was someone in my life.

pearls's avatar

There are days when it’s comfortable being single, but when I have had a good or bad day it would certainly be nice to have someone at home to listen to you. There are times when I truly miss companionship.

ChaosCross's avatar

Excellent would be an understatement for me.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@KatawaGrey I agree with you on the fact that some people think all they need is just someone to love and when they get that person, they find it’s hard to be in a relationship if you don’t know who you are or what relationships are about – and I’ve told them, time and again, that nothing changes once you have someone – you still have to be a person of integrity and work on yourself.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Why did the person ask you this question?

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I am always happy,damnit! ;)

jctennis123's avatar

Thank you all, these are very good answers. Keep them coming

jctennis123's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir actually it was on a personal assesment form, but i thought it over so i guess it felt like someone asked

JONESGH's avatar

Not really

Just_Justine's avatar

I like it a bit too much. I don’t believe I will be “happier” or different in a relationship. Happiness is my own issue. Or lack of it.

Zen_Again's avatar

I think you are either happy or not with yourself.

Sophief's avatar

I’m not single but when I was, I was incredibly unhappy. I seemed to notice every happy couple and was jealous of what they had and I wanted it too. I don’t like being alone and I won’t be again, if ever the situation came up where I would be then I would sort it so I wouldn’t.

partyparty's avatar

I am happy… and married.

BoBo1946's avatar

I’m very content with living with my best friend, me!

mary84's avatar

I’ve been single for ages, and I’ve always felt kind of, well not unhappy, but lonely.
Now that I look back I know that part of the reason why I felt lonely was due to other reasons, such as not having caring friends, family issues etc and not because I didn’t have a boyfriend. To expect a SO to make you happy is really not fair, you need to feel happy first, then the relationship will come and it will be a lot healthier.
Conclusion; I’d like to have a boyfriend, not because I am unhappy as single, but because I’ve been single for several years and it would be nice to have someone to love.

Trillian's avatar

Considering what I left behind, yes, I’m fairly happy.

Scooby's avatar

Hell Yeah!! Single, happy & dept free….. If someone comes along then I might commit & that’s a big ‘MIGHT’ she’d have to be very special though, happy as I am for now ;-)

sjmc1989's avatar

Absolutely! I feel like I can breathe, I don’t like feeling obligated to please anybody, and I am not going to settle just to be with someone. Like Janet Livermore said in Singles “Being alone: there’s a certain dignity to it.”

jctennis123's avatar

Maybe I should rephrase this question, “Is there anyone who has ever had a good/great relationship at one point who is now single and is happy to be single?”

Scooby's avatar

Personally I’ve been in some great relationships, however one thing they all had in common was they came to an end, which involved a certain amount of anxiety & a sense of tremendous loss, I decided when my marriage ended ten years ago that it was time to see if I could live with myself, as it seemed to be a bit of a challenge for most of my previous partners to live with me, I did learn a lot about myself in the first year or so of my single Dom, so much so I decided it would be for the best if I kept myself to myself for at least awhile, well as I said earlier, that was ten years ago & here I am still single but happy, I’ve come to terms with who I am over the years & also smoothed off the rough edges a wee bit & ironed myself out a lot too, not looking for a life partner anymore just someone to have a laugh with & the odd night out now & then, this really is the sum of my commitment to relationships now but I’m still very happy being me! A single forty something :-)

SeventhSense's avatar

@Scooby
You told my story.
Only the midlife crises is an agonizingly slow unraveling in my case. And it’s an odd and frightening prospect when I realize that the one thing that all my failed relationships had in common was me.

SeventhSense's avatar

@essieness
You were just hooked up a few months back. I guess that went south?

essieness's avatar

@SeventhSense Yeah :( On a side note, I’m really impressed that you remembered that.

nebule's avatar

I can’t imagine being ny other way… that would totally screw me up right now!

Kokoro's avatar

Besides trying to move on from my previous relationship, yes. I miss having someone to be there for me, but that was just it. He was “there” but he was never “there” for me emotionally, etc. So. It’s just the familiarity that has been difficult to get over. It’s so much better not crying every other day thinking the person you love only cares about themself, and treats you like dirt.

So sure, I miss being in a relationship—but the problem is, I shouldn’t. He was never there for me, and only cared about himself. So I know in time, though it’s hard, that I will be content with being single again – completely!

SeventhSense's avatar

@essieness
I remembered you were happy.
the next one is just around the corner.

aprilsimnel's avatar

Aw…! Too true!

Scooby's avatar

@SeventhSense

You just have to figure out where you went wrong, I took a good long hard look at myself, I know I’ll never be perfect but I only have me to please now ;-)
just don’t be too hard on yourself, failed relationships are the result of a combined defeat, it’s not all one sided….. :-/

SeventhSense's avatar

@Scooby
I don’t even know where the exit is anymore. Occasionally I think me or someone else gets a wrong room trying different doors and we share some time together.

Scooby's avatar

@SeventhSense

It is said that “ when one door closes another one opens” not sure if this fits but it’s worth bearing in mind, I try to keep a very open mind these days, I was always way too cynical when I was younger, I still am a little to some extent but the older I’ve become the more blasé I’ve become too :-/

SeventhSense's avatar

@Scooby
LOL Cynical when we’re younger, jaded when we’re older.

Scooby's avatar

@SeventhSense

Yeah Jaded Lol, a little I guess, only as far as relationships go, I know now that I really wasn’t ever very good at them :-/ just too selfish I guess, such is life!!

ram201pa's avatar

@Scooby

Right on… My life exactly and I have two decades on ya.

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

I sort of am…I mean It’s better than dealing with all of the heart ache…But I want to have someone there so we have each other in each others arms, and have us know that’s we’re there for each other. But I don’t know…There is always a good side and a bad side of being single….

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