General Question

SamIAm's avatar

How can you help someone become a better kisser?

Asked by SamIAm (8628 points ) February 28th, 2010

What do you do (or what have you done in the past) if you’re dating someone who isn’t a good kisser? Do you try to fix it, or leave it alone? How?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

29 Answers

SuperMouse's avatar

Kiss them the way you want to be kissed.

SamIAm's avatar

@SuperMouse : yeah that’s what i always thought but sometimes i feel like people are just too set in their ways. :/

janbb's avatar

Sort of the same way you get to Carnegie Hall; practice, practice, practice!

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Show tell or tell them :)

Likeradar's avatar

Just realize that there’s no right or wrong way to kiss, just different styles.
If you like soft kisses and the other person is rougher, you can make a sexy lil game out of it, like “kiss me really softly…” and give really good feedback. I sound like a Cosmo magazine.

trumi's avatar

Slow down. Lean in slowly, start the kiss off with purpose and good form. Usually a smoochfest is just jumped right into, and so if they have less experience they have less time to learn.

While it can be good to give little hints, most of the time it’s a bad idea. Generally, a person with little experience in kissing is already going to feel self conscience about it, and point out the flaw (even in a constructive manner) can hurt their feelings. It’s much better to show.

This is all from experience, not guessing. I learned late, but fast, and have since then encountered some pretty sloppy snoggers.

Tell them to be still, get close, wet your lips (maybe throw in a little flirty bite of your lower lip), put your hands around the back of their head/below the ears with your fingers in their hair, and then give them a quality mack. When it heats up and they get sloppy again, pull back slightly and slow them down.

I don’t claim to be the worlds greatest kisser, but this is a nearly fool-proof method. If they don’t get it after a period of trying, then you should go ahead and verbalize your instructions. Generally if they are self-conscience about it, they will be very attentive to the manner in which you kiss them and they kiss back and you won’t need to say it out loud.

Eh?

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

OMG just have fun with it!

Be bold! Say: “Comeear’ Luvvah, I’m fixin’ ta show ya somethin”

Then say: “Now do this! Come on, do it do it do it do it do it do it do it dooooooo”

Then say: “ouuuu ya’ I like that, uhmmm hummmm, do it again”

Then say….

CMaz's avatar

Patients, time and love.

Cruiser's avatar

Show them how!! But you have to want to kiss that person otherwise demonstrate a handshake instead!

gorillapaws's avatar

Turn it into a sexy game. Dominate him, when he kisses too hard, “punish him” and command him to kiss softer. When he gets it right tell him that it’s an improvement. Just play with his head. I’m not saying you need to put on a leather suit and get a whip out, but I think most guys would be into their girl getting a bit kinky, especially if it’s unexpected.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

But the leather suit and whip is always an option!

filmfann's avatar

Trying to tell someone they kiss badly is darned difficult.
I had a gf who made me feel like the lion tamer sticking his head into the lions mouth, and there was no convincing this girl that it was not enjoyable for me.

the_state_of_wisconsin's avatar

tell them that they are an awkward kisser, and that you plan on dumping them unless they improve their “game”...

then, when they apologize just say “its fine” and give them the cold treatment…

they will inevitably start practicing on their pillow, and then they will probably rock your socks off!

(or dump you for their pillow…)

thriftymaid's avatar

It’s one of those things two people perfect together.

polycinco's avatar

I tell them what is wrong with the way they kiss and try to show them what I like more

plethora's avatar

Best of luck on getting someone to change how he kisses. I have run into more than one woman who had not the faintest idea how to kiss and it’s pretty hard (read “impossible”) to change them. However, if you really want instructions, the following was written by a woman on AB.

How to French Kiss
A gentle interplay of tongues and lips between two people locked in a passionate, intense, sexual exchange.

Rules that should be law:
Breathe through your nose
Heads cocked to one side (R or L—although this can be altered in marathon sessions)
Lips should be moist, NOT sloppy wet **very important**
Lips may be licked and move and/or reseal periodically
Tongues should be caressing, not dueling
Soft moaning is encouraged when the getting’s good
...and yes, occasional, but gentle, lip nibbling is permitted…especially at first

partyparty's avatar

It should come naturally really. Show them if necessary.

JeffVader's avatar

Well, I’d start by dropping the odd hint. If that didnt work then I’d just be honest & explain they need to work on their technique…. then I’d probably suggest we get in plenty of practise to perfect it.

slick44's avatar

Practice, practice and more practice!

Just_Justine's avatar

Being sensual is hard to teach. It’s all in the kiss you know.

stratman37's avatar

Practice makes perfect! And communicate. Don’t be afraid to tell ‘em what you like.

Aster's avatar

it comes naturally. If they don’t do it right – they’re hopeless. Just give up. Too bad for the both of you.

plethora's avatar

@Astor You are soooooooooooooooooo right. Hopeless case if they don’t know how to do it naturally. There is no teaching this.

SuperMouse's avatar

@Aster and @plethora I totally disagree! Good kissing can absolutely be taught. It takes time and patience though. I stand by my original response, kiss the way you want to be kissed, that will create a fabulous kisser. It has worked for me more than once.

plethora's avatar

@SuperMouse More power to you if you can do it. I’ve had at least three occasions of a very poor kisser and when I tried to kiss the way I like to be kissed all three were totally uncooperative. The way they wanted to be kissed made it impossible for me to kiss the way I wanted to be kissed.

SuperMouse's avatar

@plethora that is a major bummer. It sounds like their egos may have gotten in the way! Was the kissing a deal breaker?

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

I’ve found that rather than critiquing how they kiss which leads to hurt feelings, I prefer to say something like, “Let me show you what kind of kissing turns me on and makes me want to kiss and be kissed more.”

It is must trickier in any opposite sex relationship to teach other “advanced” skills!

plethora's avatar

@SuperMouse Bad kissing is always a deal breaker. If the kissings bad, why even go on to more advanced skills.

However, here is the best “instruction manual” I’ve ever seen on it. This came from a woman who posted on AB months ago.

How to French Kiss

A gentle interplay of tongues and lips between two people locked in a passionate, intense, sexual exchange.

Rules that should be law:

Breathe through your nose Heads cocked to one side (R or L—although this can be altered in marathon sessions)

Lips should be moist, NOT sloppy wet **very important**

Lips may be licked and move and/or reseal periodically

Tongues should be caressing, not dueling Soft moaning is encouraged when the getting’s good…and yes, occasional, but gentle, lip nibbling is permitted…especially at first

meagan's avatar

I’m not sure theres a way to teach someone how to be. Either they are or they aren’t.

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