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mrrich724's avatar

Why do people on Fluther think their so great that they give their opinion when it is unwanted?

Asked by mrrich724 (8527 points ) March 13th, 2010

Why does everyone feel like they are so important that they need to log into fluther and get on questions and add how much they disagree with the person who posed the question, or the one who answered it?

Do any of you who disagree with what someone wants to do see anywhere in the question where your opinion was asked for, or where the asker made the statement that she gave a shit?

Why can’t people just write about the questions with something useful to answer, or at least to provide entertainment? But why go on and pass judgement?

If someone posts “what is a good gun to buy,” why does someone feel like they need to reply “how about don’t buy one because guns kill people?”

If someone posts, “where can me and my hubby find someone for a threesome,” why is there even a response in there saying anything condemning the person for wanting a threesome, or for the standards they set up for the potential third wheel?

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52 Answers

MrItty's avatar

because we know the difference between “their” and “they’re”

FlutherAlot's avatar

Becuase its the internet and everyones an e-Badass

mrrich724's avatar

@MrItty

Your response (not you’re) has led me to wonder about a whole (not hole) other question regarding fluther. . ;)

Vunessuh's avatar

I didn’t realize we were all suppose to agree with each other.
That’s no fun and really takes away from the individuality of each member of the site.
There also isn’t such thing as an unwanted opinion. If you open up a discussion for public consumption you’d be stupid not to think that someone may disagree with you. Suck it up and get over it.

gailcalled's avatar

Because we know the difference between “Where can my hubby and I go” and “Where can me and hubby go”?

SeventhSense's avatar

Because they can and because everything is subjective.

bob_'s avatar

For the record, I disagree with this question.

thriftymaid's avatar

When you put a question out there, you get what you get. Ask a stupid question and people will give you stupid answers, or simply acknowledge that the question was a stupid one. If you want serious, reliable counsel, you’ll have to pay for it.

Imagineer's avatar

The point of Fluther is to tap into a collective of knowledge and opinons.

Replying and disagreements are the reason we are not Yahoo! Answers. Perhaps you would be more comfortable there.

jaytkay's avatar

People ask for unwanted advice?

??

DominicX's avatar

Just for the record, I don’t think the OP is saying it’s bad to disagree, I think they’re saying they dislike it when people post opinionated argumentative answers that do not actually answer the question, such as posting “eating meat is wrong” to a question asking about steakhouses to visit.

lillycoyote's avatar

You log on, you ask a question. You may not like all the answers, but it’s kind of the way it works. Hopefully, someone will answer the question you actually asked, but as for the rest of the people? Well, it’s kind of like life in general, I think. Life, in great part, is really a matter of wading through a lot of crap and honing in on the parts that matter to you and are useful to you. This site is no different. I personally, generally try to pass by the crap as best I can, and if I can’t, I deal with it as quickly as possible, and move on. A lot less aggravation and a lot fewer headaches. But, that doesn’t mean that the subject does not merit discussion, just saying my peace.

Your_Majesty's avatar

I’m so agree with you!,I know that’s their right but they shouldn’t be off topic. I myself,always answer question according to what the OP ask for.

mrrich724's avatar

@everyone

I think we are all smart enough to derive whether or not an opinion is wanted from a question.

There are many times when people ask questions that are looking for opinions. But there are also times when people just want solutions.

“What gun should I buy” sounds nothing like “Do you think I should buy a gun” or “what are the positive and negative outcomes of guns on society?”

so don’t use “the collective” as an excuse.

escapedone7's avatar

I’m confused. When I ask a question on fluther, I actually want to hear all the opinions. Even the ones like you mentioned help me learn something. For example, another reason finding a partner will be hard is a large portion of society doesn’t completely accept such things. So in a way, that is providing information to consider.

I am going to ask my question on fluther. TY.

mrrich724's avatar

@DominicX

EXACTLY.

I’m not asking why you disagree with someone. I’m asking why you give your opinion when no one asked for it.

B/C believe it or not, that IS possible on fluther.

mrrich724's avatar

@escapedone7

see the post right above your first one. it gives a great example of what I’m talking about

DominicX's avatar

Another problem: People often post questions that contain inflammatory sentences that might not be the actual question. For example, someone might ask a question that says “where is gay marriage legal?” In that case, all the answers should be directed toward that and should not end up in a debate about gay marriage. However, that question might say in the details “Gay marriage is wrong and evil and shouldn’t be allowed anywhere, but where is it legal?” I’m sorry, but in that case, you are asking for people to give their opinion. If you didn’t want to hear it, you shouldn’t have put that in in the first place.

J0E's avatar

Just by asking a question you are welcoming all opinions. If that’s too much for you, don’t ask.

Buttonstc's avatar

Hey Mr Itty

Good one ! I wish I could give you 10 more GAs.

:D

SeventhSense's avatar

@mrrich724
Just accept it. People will and they are going to and the sooner you accept it the happier you’ll be.

wundayatta's avatar

Why? Why, you ask? Are you so blind? Have you gone out of your mind????

It is perfectly obvious to anyone with a brain that I am the greatest mind of all time. People bow down before me as I walk through the streets, gracing them with my wisdom. People sniff my farts as if it were the greatest perfume ever. People fight over my left over toe clippings….

and you ask why? Can you be so unobservant? Perhaps you are unable to hear?

The is no one who does not want my opinion. I have a list of letters ten miles long waiting to be answered by people who crave my wisdom, and you ask why? You should be grateful you little sniveling puppy. You should thank the stars above that I deign to answer your little wuss of a question. You whiny little mama’s boy.

People on fluther think they are so great because they are so great. What I don’t understand is how you can fail to see this. It is beyond me how ignorant some people can be. Hmmmph! ;-)

mrrich724's avatar

@SeventhSense

I’ve already accepted it, which is why I’m still a part of fluther. I just knew it was a good question.

absalom's avatar

Don’t mind me, just being an exhibitionist.

But seriously, OP is pretty much right. No one in a question about steak houses cares if you’re a vegan.

justanswerthequestion's avatar

Because people have so much time on their hands and they dont know what to do with their lives. when someone answers a question and it makes me mad, im just imagining what he does for a living. he probably works at McDonalds. I’m only answering this question cuz I like it:)

Arisztid's avatar

@mrrich724 How is it possible to not ask everyone’s opinion when you ask a question here? I am asking that question in all seriousness.

I do agree that answers like you described with the steakhouse, threesome, and gun examples are just not useful but, by posting on this site, you invite all members to participate.

You are going to get just plain old asses who are commenting to make people’s lives unpleasant. I have been on q & a websites long enough to identify those and not care anymore.

You also are going to get people who disagree with you, have reason for doing so, and will either express their opinion politely and leave or get into a polite debate with you. I do not mind this sort of member one bit. People who will get into a polite debate with me expand my knowledge and understanding.

dpworkin's avatar

Because we are human beings, we are not automatons, we are free to express ourselves in any way we wish, this is a public forum and people are entitled to voice their dissatisfaction in any way they choose, and I for one certainly don’t want anyone, especially you, instructing me on what I may or may not say, and how I may or may not say it.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

Fluther is a site where a question is posted to the community, and the community is free to answer as they see fit. If are only looking for one type of answer, then we are no help anyway because you know what you are looking for. We like to encourage people to consider every aspect of their question. Disagreements just make it all more interesting.

Silhouette's avatar

Because when you open up a dialogue on a public forum you don’t get to tell others how to respond.

And, if you want to have a threesome, you should have a threesome.

mrrich724's avatar

@ many people.

I’m not asking why don’t I get to control what people say. Read the first line of the question. It’s “why do people think they are so great”

I think that’s a key part of it all.

Symbeline's avatar

It’s the Internet, what else you expect?

Also, the assumption you make in the title of your question implies that everyone who does this automatically thinks they’re great. You never know, maybe some of those perceived holier than thou peeps are actually genuine when they express something that’s not related to the question asked.

Either way, I don’t see how said assumption is much different than what you’re accusing us of. We didn’t ask for your opinion about what you think of the people here, did we?

dpworkin's avatar

Why do you think you are so great that you can pass judgment on what other people think and say? Go join a political club where everyone is pre-screened to agree with you, or piss off.

wilma's avatar

I don’t think most people here “think they are so great”.
I think they are just giving their opinion, or their experience. Isn’t that what this place is all about?

Arisztid's avatar

@mrrich724 I do not think it is, in most cases, feeling so great about themselves.

They might feel that they have an important point to make, or are just being asses. Usually, though, it is just answering a question. For example, I am here to kill time, interact with people, get some intellectual stimulation, and the like. I might disagree with the asker or someone else but that is about as far as that goes.

There are a few who are blowhards and do feel like that but they are not that common in my experience.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

It is your assumption that we think we are so great. You cannot tell us what our self image is, all you need to know is our opinion that pertains to your questions. We are entitled to answer as we please, and if we disagree with something you’re not originally asking about then you can ignore it and move on or open up a new and interesting branch of the discussion. It is up to you, but you can’t expect to place restrictions on us, and you definitely can’t make assumptions on what our motivation is.

mrrich724's avatar

Guys, I’m not trying to “pass judgement here,” the question is why do others feel the need to pass judgement. . .

I think that there are questions here that solicit all opinions, and I don’t think that is bad.

But there are also questions where someone wants an answer to a question, and they now have to wade through 50 comments to get the 5–6 legitimate comments which address their original question.

I am not about censorship at all. I just wonder why people want to offer it when no one asked you.

If a question moves you, why don’t you start your own question where all the other people who feel just as passionate about it can all discuss.

Yea, it’s the internet, yea it’s going to happen sometimes. But what it seems like alot of you feel like is, “fluther is all about giving opinions” and you may be minimalizing the aspect of the site which is simply to have a question anwered with a logical (rather than emotional) response.

And fluther is for both. which is why when you set up your question you have the option to choose “solve a problem” or “start a discussion.”

Jeruba's avatar

@mrrich724, here’s why.

I think what you really wanted to know is why people dispute the premise of the question instead of answering it, Why can’t they limit themselves to opinions (including agreements and disagreements) that deal with the topic of the question and not take off on the question itself? For example, if someone asks, “What color should I paint my room?” you don’t want to see replies like “Why the hell should you paint your room?” You want to see “Paint it blue” and “Heck no, blue is a lousy color.”

Right?

Or if not exactly right, then what you wanted was not to ask “Why?” but to express your own view about it: “Don’t do this.”

BUT—here’s what you did.

You speculated on the reason for this in a belligerent way, criticizing people’s motives and accusing them of having a certain attitude:

people on Fluther think [they’re] so great
give their opinion when it is unwanted
feel like they are so important

IN OTHER WORDS—you asked the question itself in a controversial way.

And that is typically what’s going on when people get rebuttals to the question instead of just answers.

Not always. Some people do constantly seek a platform for their views and seize every possible opening. I used to work with a woman who loathed chicken. No matter how the subject came up, you couldn’t make a mention without having to hear a rabid opinion about it. Group lunches were a serious trial. She was completely obnoxious about her dislike of a certain food.

And there’s your answer. People who are obnoxious about it will be seen to be obnoxious about it. There’s nothing you have to do. Everyone will know it. You probably really don’t want to look close enough to know the reason why.

dpworkin's avatar

Oh, thank Gopod for @Jeruba. Long may she wave.

mrrich724's avatar

@Jeruba
Thank you. You are correct. I shouldn’t have added the “think they are so great” part.

I automatically assumed that peoples’ pride was the reason they had to interject with their thoughts and derail the conversation from its original point. And that did not help.

jonsblond's avatar

@mrrich724 But there are also questions where someone wants an answer to a question, and they now have to wade through 50 comments to get the 5–6 legitimate comments which address their original question.

I understand your point. It kind of makes the “Questions” and “Discussions” tabs pointless if no one is going to use them. If you are asking for recipes that mask or hide vegetables, you don’t want a debate about teaching children at a young age to enjoy raw veggies.

SeventhSense's avatar

All this drama is really quite silly.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

Why don’t you piss up a rope?

@Jeruba… I love chicken.

syz's avatar

It’s an open forum, so you get what you get.

If you don’t like it, don’t participate in an open forum.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

Can we talk about chicken now?

bob_'s avatar

@CyanoticWasp I don’t like chicken.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

@_bob what makes you think your [sic] so high and mighty that you can say that you don’t like chicken after I have said that I do?

SeventhSense's avatar

Actually what’s really pathetic is the actual thought that went into some of these answers and the really ugly spirit they’re written in.

davidbetterman's avatar

I completely disagree with tis question. Besides, guns don’t kill, people kill!

Pandora's avatar

@Jeruba Thank you for your mature answer. It is best just to ignore the unneccessary comments most of the time and move on to the answers that actually answer ones questions.
@mrrich724 Another reason is because maturity isn’t guaranteed too all.

Trillian's avatar

@mrrich724 I admit that I get sidetracked sometimes. I don’t mean to, and after the last time when I went off on a tangent about someone’s “Christianity”, I got a hold of myself and have since tried to stick to the main issue.
But I may, at some point in the future, get sidetracked again. I think a gentle reminder is all that is necessary, but then you may view it differently.
On a side note, if we’re going to talk about who actually does the killing, I think that this guy has the right idea.

YARNLADY's avatar

I suspect it’s pretty much the same reason you come on a public site and proceed to insult the members with a question with an obvious grammatical error so obvious you should be ashamed to even submit it.

cockswain's avatar

I give my opinion when it isn’t wanted because I’m an asshole.

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