How do you tell your boyfriend to stop cutting himself?

There are two options:
1) You can’t change someone else. You can only change yourself.
2) You can, however, tell him that you aren’t ok with this, and if it doesn’t stop, the two of you are through. Make sure to set a deadline for it stopping (like a week from the talk so that he has time to get the proper help). Then if he doesn’t stop, leave him.

Cutting is like any other addiction, so you may get more appropriate help for AA/NA/Whatever A.

Cutting is a serious problem that you can’t expect to be able to handle on your own. This is the point in which you should involve an adult who can better help your boyfriend. Talk to your parents, a teacher you trust, a school counselor, someone like that. Teachers especially are required by law to report this kind of behavior to the correct authorities.

You need to involve people who are trained to handle this sort of situation. Only those people can really help your boyfriend get the help he needs.

That’s how cutters work: They cut for attention and they hold their loved ones hostage emotionally. They invariably say things like “you make me do this” as a means of seizing control. Cutting is all about control.
You’d do well to extricate yourself from this situation until he can get it under control.

@captain fantasy: he wasn’t like that when i met him. he completely changed one day & he still wont tell me what happened.

@ paraparayukiko: i already sent him to the counselor last year. didn’t work.

@papayalily: i cant leave him. not only is he my bf but he is my best friend & im in love w/ him.

@Captain_Fantasy That’s quite a generalization to make over an entire group of people. I agree that some cutters do so for that reason, but definitely not all of them.

@crazy_twilight_chick You really need to sit down with your boyfriend and tell him that his cutting is really hurting you because you care so much about him. Sounds like he needs some therapy. Can you talk to any other friends and family members of his about it to figure out the best way to approach him? If so, maybe set up a mini-intervention and support him in getting help.
Good luck.

thanks vunessuh. i’ll try that

@crazy_twilight_chick You can’t change someone else’s behavior. End of story.

If he wont tell you, he doesn’t seem to trust you. Sounds like this guy has some serious issues to work through. Cutting is a dangerous sign.
Self abuse is a potential precursor to a suicide.

@Captain_Fantasy Thank God you managed to boil a complex behavior down into such simple terms. Psychologists everywhere can stop debating the issue!

“Boyfriend, stop cutting yourself.”

Sorry, I haven’t been snotty in a while.

Just be upfront and honest. The longer you wait the greater chance something bad could happen.

@Captain_Fantasy: he wouldn’t go there. he knows better & he know what that would do to me.

@papayalily: yes they are.

@J0E: i just dont know what to do any more! im really worried about him!

To be honest, if your boyfriend truly loves and cares about you, he will make a serious effort to get help and stop cutting because he wouldn’t want to see you in pain from something he’s doing. If not, and he chooses to ignore your concern, then perhaps it’s time for a different boyfriend.

i don’t think i can leave him

@crazy_twilight_chick You said:
@Captain_Fantasy: he wouldn’t go there. he knows better & he know what that would do to me.
@papayalily: yes they are.
@J0E: i just dont know what to do any more! im really worried about him!

Who is they?

the psychologists.

@crazy_twilight_chick Psychologists are what?

they cant stop debating the issue of people cutting themselves.

@crazy_twilight_chick On your profile page you have written “I’m a cutter”… I’m kind of confused…

Perhaps you should tell him he’ll never equate to Edward. If he can’t accept it, have him finish the job and move on.

i stoped when we started going out. i guess i still put myself as someone who does it too.

@crazy_twilight_chick Why is that? I thought it would be something you would want to divorce yourself from… it seems not…I know zilch about the subject by the way

@Adagio: idk i guess the label just stuck to me. i used to do in it 8th grade & every body labeled me.

Perhaps he doesn’t like Twilight because he knows he can’t stand to look at the man he will never be. He will never make girls loins quiver… or glisten in the sun. I, however, have achieved both of these feats, but only while wearing J. Lo Glitter, the fragrance. Mixed with my man sweats, a toxic pheromone is created, making my life an ongoing AXE commercial.

It won’t really work. Whatever reason he’s cutting himself comes from a deep place. He probably needs to see a therapist.

Uh- have any of you checked out @crazy_twilight_chick‘s profile?
Interesting where hobbies say “cutting” and the profile text reads “im emo & im a cutter! ”

@Basketcase did you not read where one of my answers to this question says that i used to do it & i don’t anymore?