Ok, how do you treat/handle a back stabber in the office?

Don’t trust them with anything.
Why would you want to be friends with people who backstab you?

Should I be indiffenet toward her or should I act normal? Should I confront her? Gosh I hate confrontation

I mean indifferent…

Can you talk to HR or your supervisor privately? If you confront her, do it in a restaurant and plan ahead what you are going to say so you don’t stumble around. Stay calm, don’t raise your voice and pay for the meal.

Well the thing is she is super close to my boss and to HR head. This back-stabber of mine is very smart she’s friends with all the important people in th eoffice, you know, giving them gifts and paying for their melas and all and later she’ll bad-talk about them to me. Hypocrete.

In another words, no point telling HR about it.

I saw this movie once, maybe relating to prison. You can sharpen the handle of an old tooth brush…don’t remember what happened next, but that person left them alone. Come to think of it, I don’t even remember seeing that character further in the movie. They must have learned their lesson.

No you dont want a confrontation. You dont owe them anything. Just walk. Treat her like any other person you dont trust.

HR is not the way to go for personal disputes unless its really really bad. Handle this on your own if you can.

Might be easiest to move to a different job if that’s possible.

What is she doing or saying exactly?

Didn’t you say she is a friend? If so, speak with her about how her behavior is effecting you. Also, I would begin distancing myself from her.

When the shit hits the fan; the weakest length will be left looking bad. In this situation, that appears to be you…

“back-stabbing good friend” is an oxymoron. If she’s back-stabbing, she’s not a good friend. Quit treating her like one.

I happen to be the bigger man in most cases. its not hard and people will admire you for it.

Really? I find it very hard to not (mentally) bitch-slap my back stabber hahahah. It’s hard to treat her normally.

@Tringveryhard i guess it a matter of self control. but what do you get out of slapping someone? i guess mental slapping is a normal reaction but its your actions that make the difference. respect should not be expected but earned. its not that bad working with someone you hate. treating someone like a person whether you like them or not takes practice but it works out for the better.

…hence the ‘mentally’ ;) I won’t slap anyone.

fair enough. @Tringveryhard

There’s all sorts of sayings for this. Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer and all that jazz. I’ve seen plenty of backstabbers in my day and what I’ve done is to be aware that they are an underhanded person, but don’t necessarily be rude to them. They’ve moved down the totem pole with the friendship aspect and at least now you know who they are as a person. Just so long as they aren’t trying to get you fired of anything. If so, take’em down with you. :)

Ignore them. If they say something to you, reply. But don’t reach out. Imply to them that you just don’t want to hang out with them anymore. And don’t stay close to them, because when they backstab you it won’t hurt as much anymore (if they happen to backstab you).

I think you need to keep-schtum around them… & slowly put distance between the two of you.

Talk to her! You don’t have to be aggressive, just be assertive. Tell her how her backstabbing is affecting you and ask why she is doing it. Also, tell her you do not wish to hear any more of her malicious gossip as it doesn’t interest you. It doesn’t interest you, right?

Start looking carefully at the people you come in contact with and decide if they’re really friends or more like acquaintances. People you work with, even work well with can remain acquaintances. When you start to regard familiarity with friendship then toes are bound to get stepped on, especially when it comes to business.