General Question

ducky_dnl's avatar

Is it wrong to not want to see any of my guy friends anymore?

Asked by ducky_dnl (5384points) March 23rd, 2010

I met my old schoolmates Alen, his brother Eric and Caleb, plus two new friends. Today Alen came up to me, gave me a hug, kept watching me during his whole practice and after his practice kept looking at me and gave me another hug when I clearly didn’t want one. Anyway, his older brother Eric gave me a hug, kept laughing and saying the faces I was making were priceless. We were standing there and my little friend Jay (12 years old) Said in front of Alen and Eric, that we were going to get married. Alen looked down sad, then at jay and said “you should feel very lucky.” I couldn’t look at his face until a new conversation started. When Alen and Eric left, I talk to another player on their basketball team and he was like “I’m just shocked.” We were walking outside and I was asking him to tell me what he was thinking, and he just said with a smile: “I don’t have to tell you, it’s my personal opinion.” I jokingly said that I’d follow him all the way to his house and he was like “Sure, you can come to my place and we good mmph.” Then he left and I started talking to my friend Javi. Everyone was like “Javi there’s your wife.” or “Gonna go say bye to your husband?” Javi gave me a hug today and I was shocked. That was like our fourth time meeting. Anyway, Everyone of the guys knows I’m not dating, nor am I wanting to seem like a you know what. I am just friendly, but after hugging them I feel depressed. I don’t feel like I should go back and see them. I know they were just harmless hugs, but I don’t want the closeness. I would never tell them that, so I don’t know what to do. People are putting into my head that Alen likes me, but I just don’t know what to do, say, or think. UGH! Help?

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3 Answers

loverainx33's avatar

Don’t be afraid to jokinly refuse their hugs kind of like teasing them so they think it’s just for fun and that you’re not trying to be mean. Guys usually take “friendliness” as flirtation and like and they do not understand that you’re just trying to be nice. If you really don’t like any of them, be firm in telling them that. They might be hurt a bit but they should get over it soon or else they’re not really worth being your friend.

Idknown's avatar

Yeah – definitely just tell them how you feel. At no point should they make you feel uncomfortable.

They don’t know better probably – so let them know. I’m sure they’ll respect that.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

These sound like very nice young men who think you’re special. I would not consider their behavior reason to not see them any more, unless you tell them what the boundaries are, and they don’t respect them. Tell them all that you are not comfortable being hugged, and that you’re not interested in dating anyone. Let them be nice to you; the I’m going to marry you/Javi the wife comments as how boys that age express admiration.

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