Some progress is better than no progress. What's your milestone?

I think at last, my paranoid anxious head, is clearing up a little and making space for sane thoughts.

Cool. Uhhmm, I started college, even though it is online and not what I wanted initially, it’s better than nothing and this is my best choice for my military lifestyle. I moved into my first apartment with decent roomates and I have a lot of fun now playing modern warefare two online. I still have the most badass girlfriend ever and it will be a year for us soon. I have more financial freedom and more fun going out with my friends.

All this has happened after being in a horrible marriage with the shittiest woman ever and being broke as hell for the longest time because of her and not seeing my friends.

To find a new apartment by June and to write my state boards for teaching in Michigan.

@jjmah It’s a good time to be looking for housing. Rents are down everywhere.

@dpworkin Yes. I’ve already started. I found a few beauties and the rent was reasonable. Now, I just have to decide on which one. :)

We’re slowly but surely closing in on completing our home refurbishing. We’ve hung, textured and painted the sheetrock, built a closet, installed all the electric, built the front deck, resurfaced the roof, installed all the plumbing, installed all the windows, replaced all the siding, etc. What remains is to install all the bathroom fixtures, the lights and fans, the kitchen cabinets and appliances, build the back deck, put the final touches on the interior walls, move all our stuff from our rental, buy our new furniture, and a few other minor things. God, will I be happy when this is done! : D

Day 12 of the P90X workout series :)

To review, my goals for this week are to get back on track with my weight loss, to pay off some more hospital bills and to finally get enough money together for the Kaplan course prep for the GRE exam (no I’m not going to study for it on my own).

@Simone_De_Beauvoir The history of weight loss is a history of lapses. Good for you for not letting it get you down. (For some reason I was able to apply for grad school without taking the GRE – maybe Social Work is an undemanding discipline in that regard.)

Well, I have to down to 2 goals right now. The first and foremost is to get a new phone which could possibly happen on Friday if all things fall into place. The second and bigger goal is to move out of my parent’s house. Now that I have a job that helps me afford to get out, I’m just biding my time now.

@OperativeQ How exciting it will be to live on your own – I’m excited for you.

I have no goals for today whatsoever. That doesn’t mean I won’t do anything… but no goals.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Thank you! Good luck on your aforementioned goals.

I made a goal to make actual friends when I moved out, and I’m doing it.

@malevolentbutticklish Did you read the OP? It says:

On Sunday of each week (if not oftener), some of us gather to announce our current goals, report progress toward our milestones, cheer each other on, and commiserate over setbacks.

Your post is off topic, and I am flagging it.

@dpworkin: No goal is a current goal. Consider atheism. If the question was “what is your religion” would you flag someone who answered atheism?

I don’t argue in this thread. Bub-bye, now.

Welcome to those of you who are new.
@malevolentbutticklish we all have goal-less days. Feel free to continue to participate, and when you do have a goal, be sure to know that we’ll cheer you on.
@OperativeQ Way to go on taking the next step. It’s good to build up a little bit of a cushion before you move out, because living on your own is full of ridiculous, unexpected expenses.
@CaptainHarley I’m so excited that most of the work is done. In the final stretch, hooray!
@Dibley I’m glad things are calming down for you. Good luck.
@Blackberry way to go on starting college. I know how hard it is to be a student the tradtional way while in the military (someday my husband will finish his degree) so it’s good that you’re making a start.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir it’s good to hear that your back in the saddle. Good luck this week.

@dpworkin deep breaths…good air in…bad air out… :)

As for me, the musical that I was directing was this last weekend, so that’s one major goal down. The kids were great, and there were no major glitches. My goals for this week are to see my husband at normal hours, start cooking dinner again, and to tear down the sets by Wednesday night. We’ll see how it goes.

Mazel Tov on the musical.

@dpworkin thanks, dear. And I just read the old thread. Good luck with the battle with your ex. I can’t imagine how hard it must be, but you’re doing the right thing.

@zephyr826

Thank you! It’s an awful lot of work, but the end result is going to be a home where Vicky and I can be happy. Thank you for realizing its importance to me, and for your kind comment.

@zephyr826 Thanks.

Welcome Newbies.

As stated this is NOT a place to debate or argue.
This is a unique question with a long history on Fluther.

The goal is positive support in achieving goals.

Many of us have found that being accountable or just having someone saying “good job” has helped us achieve goals and set new ones.

If you have no goals please resist the temptation to post unless you are positively supporting others.

We do not post uselessly because we are bored.
Please respect those who use this question and either positively contribute or move on.

@Dog Great explanation for the newbies. Thanks for doing it.

@zephyr826 Good work on surviving and thriving with the production. Enjoy a calmer life.

Just checking in on the new installment. (:

Took my math test today, I think I did pretty well. Big government test and big gym test (yes, gym. It’s a written test.) tomorrow. I’m hoping I’ll do okay on both !

It’s Passover tonight. Not my favorite holiday, in fact it’s my least favorite. It’s pretty boring. D:

Congrats to all you old-timers on this thread on continuing with your goals, and welcome newcomers, I hope you succeed with your goals as well !

@mangeons Oh too bad – about Passover. It’s my most favorite because we always got together with my close cousins; some of whom I’ll be seeing tonight. I agree, the seder is long though…

@janbb Yeah, the seder is very long, and I get very hungry. :(

But luckily, our family doesn’t take Passover too seriously, we have fun with it, and skip over the most boring parts of the reading. A couple years ago I would just leave when I got too bored, but I’ve started sitting through the whole thing in the past couple years. It’s not as bad for me as it used to be. Plus, I do get to see family that I don’t get to see on a regular basis, so it’s not all bad !

@mangeons The older you get, the shorter the seders seem. (Except for the really boring end bits.) We always have some good laughs at ours too, that’s part of what makes it.

I’ve always loved it. In my family it’s always been a holiday for children, filled with song, laughter and learning. I’m sorry you were ever bored by it.

When I first joined collective, one of my first questions was could I realistically go back to college at the age of 43 and as a newly single mom.

Well, last week I met with an advisor and registered for school! Also, the best news of all- I have only 18 hours to complete and I’m graduating December 18, 2010! I’m so excited and nervous at the same time. If I need help with my Greek mythology, may I count on you? You is anyone who may know the topic.

@TLRobinson That is wonderful! We’ll help you with Greek mythology any time.

@TLRobinson Don’t be silly. You are far to old to go back to school.

Somehow, I haven’t come across any of these threads until now. What a fantastic idea, though! Maybe I’ll pay a little more attention to these things, if only for the opportunity to brag on Sundays, haha.

My biggest goal for over the next month is going to be to figure out where the heck to go to college. So far, I have three great choices, and I’m still waiting to find out if I got into a fourth (That news comes this Thursday). Unlike most of my friends, I don’t have a standout top choice. I lean differently from day to day. I don’t know how I’m ever going to decide. I’m lucky, though, in that I truly like all of the schools I’ve been accepted to, and feel that I’d be happy and get a good education at any one of them. It’s just a matter of deciding which one…

I also want to try to gain some weight. Gaining weight is ridiculously hard for me, for some reason. I need to gain about eight more pounds to stop being considered in the “underweight” BMI range.

And what have I achieved in the past week? Hmm… a year of yoga is finally starting to show some results. I put my foot behind my head last Thursday! Haha. I don’t know that there’s much more about the past week that I’m proud of. I’ve been pretty lazy.

@TLRobinson Don’t listen to the oldest student at all of the SUNY campuses combined.

@janbb, There is a woman auditing my Sociolinguistics class who is probably 15 years older than I. It’s true she’s not enrolled, though.

@janbb, I’m not paying any attention to our lovable professional student, @dpworkin! You guys make me feel like this may actually happen for me this time! Class starts in June.

@TLRobinson That’s wonderful! We’re pulling for you.
@Mariah I didn’t have a mountain-top moment with any of my possible colleges either. It finally came down to a series of minor things pointing to the right school. You’ll figure it out by May. :)
@mangeons Happy passover!—(i know that’s not the correct greeting, but please forgive my gentile ignorance). Good luck on your tests.

School school school and more school. For all the work I’m putting into it though, it’s gotta be worth something eventually. I mean I haven’t spend my loans on alcohol yet so it’s a good sign, I suppose.

Bit of an uneven time for me. Thanks for the part 6 start, @dpworkin.

@zephyr826 Thanks ! Although I don’t actually know the correct greeting, haha. :P

@CaptainHarley Great on the house! It’s so satisfying to live in a house that you built.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Good move on taking the review for the GRE. I squeaked through it in 1974 without the review, but if I had to do it again, I’d do what you’re doing. I like your attitude on the weight issue, analyze the problem and correct it, rather than getting dejected about it.

@zephyr826 That’s a good feeling, “mission accomplished” and putting a project to bed.

@TLRobinson Good for you! In June, I’m resuming work on a doctorate in history that I left off in 1977. High anxiety; the nature of academia has changed so much in 33 years. Everything is computer-based now, I’m a relic of the pen-and paper era (I really have trouble thinking at a keyboard, even a typewriter).

@Symbeline It will be worth it, just maintain your balance and keep your aim on the target. Bon chance, mon ami!

@Mariah I can understand your problem, my lady Meghan had the same problem, keeping her weight above 100 lbs (she was 5’4”). Some folks scoff at that, but it’s a real heath issue. Dance and weight training helped her build muscle mass, a healthy way to stabilize weight.

All that I can really do on my academic goal right now is to review my thesis draft and notes. I’ll have to meet with my thesis advisor after I’m formally (re)enrolled for approval of the major changes. I want to change it to a straight technological history rather than drawing parellels between the battleship arms race of 1890–1914 and the nuclear arms race 1945–1990.

I started cooking meals on weekends again after a 2 week hiatus. The ladies seem happy about that.

Good luck all! ((hugs))

Well, I took my two CRES tests (government and gym) today. Both were very easy, and I think I did well on both of them. ( :

hi!

Yesterday was the start of a new academic term and I am going to try to stay ahead of the tide of my coursework. I figure that if I try to stay ahead, at least I couldn’t fall too far behind.

My car was totaled yesterday. (I wasn’t driving it, my boyfriend was. It was a head-on collision in an intersection.) Thankfully, no one was hurt. The loss of the car is annoying, but it is a greater loss for my boyfriend, since that car was tied to his livelihood (he needed it to work, and if he doesn’t work he can’t pay rent, and then a whole set of other problems arises from that). And we had just replaced the distributor four months ago, a ~400 dollar expense. GRRRRRRR BUT a car is just a thing, and one way or the other we will make up for the damage. Life moves on.

I have another focus for the next two months, which is to fundraise money for a summer trip to Tanzania. I am so excited! I will be there for 5 weeks, 4 of which I will be living at or near an orphanage and spending my time teaching about the biology of AIDS/HIV and its transmission. I am worried about how I will raise the money but I think I can do it.

Totally digging this thread, guys. :)

@holden Good attitude on the loss of the car. It’s just an object that can be replaced. Your loved one is not hurt. In Tanzania, most educated people speak English; just be careful of what you eat and drink, also be mindful of physical security.

@mangeons High five on the tests!

As per Mission: Dr. Simone (getting me into a PhD program and getting me a PhD – something that I think will last about 10 years worth of this thread) I have now decided upon all the schools and programs I will be applying to, figured out deadlines for applying, how much I’d have to spend on the applications and when I’d have to take my GRE. Somewhere around August should do it.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir So excited for you!

I just talked to my co-ordinator at the college about the low attendance at Friday’s class. She was very empathetic and we discussed the idea of my making an informal call to the students who didn’t come, inviting them to come to the next class. She did say with the current economic crisis enrollment is generally down for the enrichment type courses, but that still doesn’t explain why 4 students would pay for the class and then not come. I have no problem with trying the phone call idea.

I think I need screen locking software.

@liminal I’ve thought of the same thing – read about a free program.

@liminal and @janbb What OS are you using? It’s built in to XP and later – it’s just not well known.

I’ve got XP at home; how do you access it? (Still would have to have the discipline to turn it on.)

I have Max OS X, I think that means leopard.

@janbb hold down control+alt+delete and select “lock computer” you then will have to type your password to get back in.
@liminal I don’t know leopard too well, but I’d bet there’s something similar… probably in the apple drop down menu at the top.

Isn’t he sexy when he speaks nerd

Well. We got our math tests back today. And everyone pretty much bombed it. Including me. But we’re taking a re-test tomorrow. :P

Finished song 2 and… 3! Mostly unexpectedly on the 3rd one being done already since I only started recording the guide tracks last night, but it’s a pretty simple piece as far as parts go. It’s a slight departure from my usual, but still really weird and interesting, which kinda ties my stuff together.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir that and when he talks about things ’weird and interesting.’

@liminal yep, lol

Update on Mission: Dr. Simone – just registered for my Kaplan GRE course (took months to save up but it was cheaper because I did courses with them before) and figured out the date of my GRE exam (apparently there are only 2 in 2010 and only one of them will have results before my earliest deadline) but I can’t register for it until July.

@mangeons Need help with anything in math? PM me.

Thanks, I’ll be sure to ask if I need any help ! ( :

I have finally found out, as a result of a bone scan, that the mysterious injury to my foot is a stress fracture and not torn tendons. Rx: no exercise; stay off it. There goes the weight loss program—which is probably what caused it: all those yoga classes. Isn’t that a bitch? Healing is expect to be long and slow. But at least now I know what I’m dealing with. I’m going to look into alternative forms of exercise.

Meanwhile I start a new college class next Monday and also begin work for a new editing client.

OUCH! @Jeruba Thankfully you are not facing surgery. May it heal fast.

Oh – too bad about the foot, Jeruba. Maybe there are some floor or upper body yoga psotures you can still do? In any case, hope it heals fast. What a shame.

Bummer @Jeruba! I hope you’re back up and at ‘em in no time.

@Jeruba those can take a long time to heal. My lady went through that, it took over a year after the surgery before she could put weight on it. There is an electronic device that promotes bone healing, you might want to ask an orthopedist about it. Meg used a TENS unit to preserve the muscle tone in her legs while the healing was going on. Swimming and water-exercise programs are good in cases like this also. I hope you don’t have to go through as much as Meghan did, take good care of yourself.

Looks like the maple harvest is over. Night temperatures are too high, we’re racing to boil down what we’ve got in the tanks before it starts to ferment and spoil. Running both evaporators 24 hours a day, hopefully we’ll have it all done by Sunday. I think that we’ll cover expenses (depends on how the Quebec season finishes up, they produce more than everyone else combined). My calculations are based on the worst prices in the last decade, so we should be fine. I’ll have to subsidize the farm out-of-pocket again this year. Agriculture is a gamblers life.

Oh, so sorry, @Jeruba. I have sympathetic twinges – I think I broke a toe yesterday.

@dpworkin OUCH again! I hope it heals fast. Can you go without shoes? I remember having to wear shoes with a broken toe and it was torturous.

I got a call from my agent- I have consideration from a major toy manufacturer puzzle division who requested a proof. I am very very excited because this potentially could open the door for a line of puzzles.

This nibble of interest has fired me up to return to the studio and paint another companion piece.

I cut half the top off one of my nice Van’s. Dammit. But at least it doesn’t kill my toe to put the shoe on.

This has not been a great year for you footwise, pd.

O.K. Here’s a biggie. I’m going out to Cali tomorrow to see my mother who has Alzheimer’s. She is in her final decline and will probably not recognize me. I’ve been debating about whether to go or not, but have decided to go. My mother and I have had a rough relationship – she was very narcissistic – and I’m not sure what to say or what I expect to get. Any thoughts or support words might help.

Oh, @janbb, very brave! I don’t know how to help you save to say that I admire you for going with your gut, even though it is frightening and upsetting. I managed to forgive my abusive father before he died, and that has made all the difference. (My mom, not so much.)

I think that whatever helped you make the decision to go will help you to know what to do, what to get, and how to get it. Continue to trust your instincts, and keep in touch, and let us know what you are thinking and feeling.

Hi, I’m new to this thread. I admit I haven’t managed to read it all yet! But I come respectfully and with sincerity, for support and the support of others.

It just turned Sunday, 3rd April where I am. My main goal this week is no booze. I have currently been on the wagon since February 21st, and hope to complete a year as tee-totaller. (Don’t ask me what happens after a year!)

I really need to catch up on some correspondences too, and get back to studying Korean which has fallen by the wayside for the past two weeks.

Have a great week everyone.

@jeanmay Welcome and what a nice statement of purpose you offered. Good luck on another week of no booze; you can do it!

@dpworkin Thanks for the support, friend – as always.

@jeanmay Glad to see you here. One year at a time :)

@janbb Thanks! Good luck with your mother; keep an open mind.
@dpworkin Thanks for the new link, glad to be here :)

@janbb I hear the bigness of what you have decided to do. I admire your willingness to face something that is so raw. Yes, please keep us up to date. There is room here for transparency and authenticity.

@liminal Thanks; I appreciate that.

@janbb I am so scared to become someone like your mother and for my children to become like you – it’s one of my biggest fears. I admire your strength.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Thanks. What I have tried to do with my kids has been always to own up to my mistakes as I’ve become aware of them and to keep talking things out with them. I’m hoping that will help them not hate me. So far it seems to be working well. In no way have I been a perfect parent, but I know I’ve been a more self-aware one than my mother. Alzheimer’s is, of course, also a fear, but one I can’t do as much about.

Just so you all know, this is not going to be a big confrontation after a long estrangement scene. I last saw my mother in December and got shown some appreciation for what we did for her. I plan to try to honor my own feelings and perhaps ease her dying somewhat, but I will see what happens.

@janbb- I will be thinking of you and praying that this visit benefits you more than your mom. Limit your regrets and visiting her should help.

@jeanmay- wow! I’m so proud of you! Good luck. There is support abound here. Reach out to us, we’re here.

Happy Sunday, all.

Don’t have much to input this week, just hope you are all doing well.

@TLRobinson I’m grateful for your kind words.

@holden Happy Sunday!

We’ve finished off the maple season with about 25 gallons of Grade B syrup. The warm temperature makes it impossible for us to store any more sap without fermentation. Some of the trees are starting to set buds (this causes an off-flavor in the syrup). Only a 5 week maple season this year, I hope it’s not a trend. The young ladies are staying on for another week to help my partner with the greenhouses and sheep.

Another goal: design aand build permanently-installed pipelines into the sugar-woods. It is a waste of time and labor to keep installing and tearing down the main lines every year. That way we only have to drill, tap and install flexible tubing each season. Enough new projects; my partner wants a third greenhouse and the figures justify it.

I’ve got kitchen duty today. Twelve loaves of bread in the big oven, three chickens in the other, making a big pot of hot and sour soup (clears that cloying sweetness of maple out of systems). Next week a pig roast for the going-away party for the young ladies.

@jeanmay Welcome and good luck on your goal. My partner has been off heroin for over 5 years now, a massive achievement (took her 3 tries). One day at a time!

@janbb Bravo for what you’re doing, from what I’ve seen, people with Alzhiemers might not recognize you and then forget about the conversation a few minutes later. My great-grandmother was like that towards the end (103 years old). Her long-term-memory was intact, but nothing that had occurred within the past 20 years or so. Good luck!

@dpworkin I feel your pain (although mine in my right shoulder and knee). My lady had foot troubles all her life from the injuries shee suffered 16 years ago. Meg could only walk without pain in custom-made shoes. The contents of her shoe closet cost about the price of a new car.

I’m seriously considering quitting the cigarettes (which I’ve heard is about the same level of difficulty as heroin). I don’t really care about my health, but this habit is so pointless and I’m not allowed to smoke most places off my property anyway, 40 years ago you could smoke damned near anywhere.

I may have to go back on the higher dosage of Paxil, the depression seems to close in if I’m not flat-out busy all the time. I despise having to take these pills though. Tuesday will be five months since Meghans passing.

Good luck all with your goals this week! ((hugs))

Heroin is easier, I believe.

Back on track with weight loss. Also, yesterday I met my tango idol, Sylvina Walz after she performed a same-sex uber-hot dance with Ciko and I totally had an orgasm. She then gave me like 50 hugs because she’s sweetest person ever and I almost died. I got her cell # (for lessons) and took a pic with her. Look how happy I look because she agreed to stand next to me. Oh my god, it was the best night ever.

I wrote song number 4 last night… about the fastest I’ve ever written anything. It’s pretty strong. Need to clean it up, but not much to do!

@stranger_in_a_strange_land- I care about your health (physical and mental). Up the dosage, if that’s going to help and TRY to stop smoking( I hear it’s really hard). I want you in good health for when I earn my master’s and reach 20,000 lurve. :-)

@Simone_De_Beauvoir- you look hot and sexy! Looks like the orgasm was well worth it!!

@JeanPaulSartre- congratulations to you!! Keep them coming.

@TLRobinson haha, indeed!

I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Easter, hope it’s a good one for you guys! ( :

@mangeons- you too!

@TLRobinson Thanks for the kind words. :^)

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I’m so glad that you got to meet your idol. You’re looking great!!

@JeanPaulSartre Sounds like you’re in “the zone”. My creative work (inventing things) seems to run in spurts also.

@mangeons Happy Easter to you!!

Sorry I’m late to the thread. Again.

I’m not really doing all that well. Don’t worry – I’m not suicidal, or even depressed, really. I’m just off, for a bunch of reasons. I don’t really have the willpower to go into it, but I read your updates, and am glad most of you are doing great.

Otherwise: Keep fightin’ the good fight, as it were. ;)

@Grisaille Hi I only just joined this thread, so I’m only just starting to get a feel for it and have not caught up on reading the previous posts. However, I know enough to know that there are no apologies needed here! There are no time limits on kind words. Hope that doesn’t sound strange coming from one so new to this as I! I’m really sorry things are not going well for you, I hope things get better soon. In the meantime, chin up and have a heart. Life is all peaks and troughs, on and offs, and you can’t stay ‘off’ forever. Fluther lurve to you!

@stranger_in_a_strange_land Seems like it! I just hope it doesn’t dry up before I finish the album.

Number 4 is now recorded and ready to go. Woo hoo! I also accidentally learned a bit more about clipping and what it means in terms of initially recording versus what it means when combining tracks to record a full song. Super important lesson for this recording amateur.

Well, apparently the University of Albany Graduate School of Social Welfare has very low standards, and is not nearly as anti-Semitic as I thought, as I have been admitted to the MSW program beginning Fall, 2010.

Oh, oh – mazel tov™ 4rl, pd! Knew you could do it, but you didn’t.

I never know nuffink.

Congratulations @dpworkin! I’m raising my cup of tea to you!

@stranger_in_a_strange_land What an amazing and inspiring feat your partner achieved, thanks for your encouragement. I too have experience of quitting smoking. It was indeed very difficult, and after my first smoke-free day I drank two bottles of red wine to myself as a distraction – not a technique I would recommend! The thing that worked best for me in the end was, every time I felt the need for a cigarette I would tell myself to wait ten minutes, then see if I still wanted one. After ten minutes was up I would tell myself to wait ten minutes more, and on and on all day until bed time, when I would tell myself to wait until the morning. In the end it became like a competition with myself, and the need to ‘win’ another ten minutes became greater than the need to smoke. Then after a while I would forget I had started counting the ten minutes, and so I’d go for longer and longer periods. I haven’t had a cigarette for five years, and I feel great for it. Good luck if you make the decision to quit!

@Simone_De_Beauvoir That is a lovely picture – you look glowing! I wish I could have an orgasm just from a hug.

@JeanPaulSartre I hope your creative juices continue to flow.

@mangeons Happy Easter to you! I live in a predominantly Buddhist country, but my mum sent my son some chocolate eggs from France in the post, bless her. He was very grateful!

So, we got our math re-tests back today. And i got an 85%! That’s my first grade flipped (a 58% :P) and now my grade in that class is up to a C for the final term grade! (:

@mangeons Well done, what a brilliant result! The part of my brain that processes numbers seems to be defective, so I’m always in awe of those who are successful with maths :)

@dpworkin- as though you wouldn’t be accepted! Our standards are much higher, and we adore you! Congratulations!!

@mangeons- good for turning it around!

As for me; I registered for class, taking 9 hours (all online) and my senior project was approved. Have you ever wanted something(not someone) so bad it’s almost impossible imaging it being a reality?? Outside of giving birth, this is the most major thing I’ve done!

I’m the youngest of 8 kids from a woman who did not finish school but who taught me how to effectively communicate and act in all settings. My dad was murdered while serving in the Navy, I was only 3. I’m sorry I’m rambling but I want this sooo bad; for me, my mom, my kids and family. I would be the first ever in my family to earn a degree!! I’m actually crying as I type and I don’t really know why. Please pray to God for me ( if that is your faith) that I won’t stop this time and nothing will get in my way. For all, I asking for insight, wisdom and encouragement..

@TLRobinson Thre is nothing to say but “Wow!” Good for you!

@dpworkin Outstanding!!

@jeanmay Well, I wouldn’t really say I’m successful… :P

@TLRobinson very inspiring! I even teared up with you. What is your senior project?

@liminal- Generational communication within the workforce.

My major is Sociology and Communication.

@TLRobinson Sounds really interesting. Good luck with it all; channel all that emotion into your work and you will shine!

@mangeons Probably more successful than me! 1 + 1? ;)

I lost the thread somewhere…but am back now thanks to @Jeruba!...and how one can forget the name of a thread like this I’ve no idea! lol

Can’t remember where we were up to but will catch up… xx

@lynneblundell Just hop on in here- that is what I have to do. :) This is such an awesome question it is too busy to stay up with for me. :)

I CLEANED THE GREENHOUSE OUT…IT’S READY TO GO!!! YAY!!! Finally I managed it!!

@dpworkin well done mate that’s awesome!!
@JeanPaulSartre keep going you’re doing amazing!!
@TLRobinson you will achieve what you desire I have no doubt! xxx
@Dog thank you x
@Grisaille come sit me with a while…

Sunday, April 11

What, nobody else made progress this week? C’mon people, it’s 3:20 p.m. on the East Coast, let’s get to it!

I went out to Cali to see my mother as I said I was going to with a great deal of trepidation. I’m not going to go into detail here but it was much more successful than I expected it to be and I did come away with a feeling of warmth and resolution.

On another front, I took a fairly strenous walk this morning with two friends whom I consider fitter than me. I was leading and Steve asked me to slow down at one point! Very gratifying – the Zumba, walking and water aerobics must be paying off.

A good week.

@janbb- congratulations on both fronts!

Nothing new to report on my end. However, I realize I’m stalling to pay my tuition. Is it that I’m trying to create a self-fulfilling prophesy? Don’t pay the fees, you won’t graduate.

Someone please tell me to get off my ass!

@TLRobinson “Get off your ass!”

Honestly, my progress is still looking at Fluther after all the people that have soured it up for me (and for many others, but they can speak for themselves and have done so, in PMs) instead of forever forgetting about it.

@janbb- that’s what I need!! Thanks.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir- not sure what’s going on, but don’t give up on all of us.

I took a complete, week-long break from Fluther. I only visited the site to check PMs once a day. It did wonders for me, and my views of the site.

@gggritso I think that’d be good if I wasn’t so pissed off about having to not fluther because of others and not because of my own reasons

Fluther is my new goal. I’m going to undertake to try to make it a better place, and to try to be less antagonistic. (I already failed once today, but I will keep trying.)

just want ot lose some weight this week and start my essay on Emotions :-/

@TLRobinson thank you

@ Simone_De_Beauvoir If it makes you feel any better, all of the things you’ve written on Fluther that I’ve read seem erudite, thoughtful and dignified. I really enjoy reading you and I haven’t picked up any hint sourness in your writing.

I hope things get better for you on Fluther. Maybe the ‘Town Meeting’ will help further clear the air later. Are you planning on being there?

@janbb I’m so happy that the trip to see your mother was a success, it must be a weight off your mind. Keep up the good work on the exercise front – you look great may I say!

@TLRobinson There are so many difficult things in this life, don’t make life harder by putting off doing the things that are easy! Get off your arse! Then you can focus on the important stuff :)

@dpworkin Sounds like a good idea, and maybe you should attend the ’‘town meeting’ too she tentatively suggests.

@lynneblundell Good luck with the weight loss, you look great too! Hope you manage to make headway with your essay – starting can feel like the hardest part of any project, but I love the beginning of something when you are excited by your ideas and all the new potential. I’m also a bit obsessed with stationary, so I like to buy new stuff for a new written project which makes it doubly exciting (dork!).

As for me, I had an up and down week. On Monday I found myself fighting the blues; can’t really say why. Other days were better, however. I managed to write some long overdue emails and spoke to various close family members on the telephone – a big achievement.

I had lunch with some friends one day where I was offered beer. My polite refusal was met with disbelief and disappointment, but I didn’t allow myself to be affected by that. Another successful week on the wagon.

I tried to find myself a Korean teacher to help in my languishing studies, but so far it has proved fruitless. While I’m still looking I’m going to set myself more concrete goals this week: half an hour studying each day and two new words every day. Big sigh, I can do it. Last week I neglected to really do anything, but I did learn one new phrase – chong gegory. It literally means blue frog and is used to describe person (usually a child) who is mischievous and doesn’t listen to reproach (i.e. my son).

I also really want to start a creative project this week that I had the idea for ages ago, but haven’t managed to get off the ground. It is a travel scrap book. I want to fill a couple of pages with pictures, photos and memories from our time so far in South Korea, and then send it to a good friend. They will have a space to put their own photos etc, and when they’re finished they will send it to another good friend, and so on until it’s full. I had the idea because me and my good friends are currently all living so far away from each other (Nicaragua, Scotland, Spain, Tobago, Australia, England, South Korea) I thought it would help us feel closer, and provide something we can all look back on and enjoy together.

So that’s me! Have a great week everyone.

@jeanmay well, :), maybe you haven’t read enough of my responses – they really bother some but thanks! I appreciate your words

@jeanmayThanks!

@simone It has been rough here lately. PM me if you want to talk.

Good work on the wagon front! Would it be helpful to tell friends – or maybe you already have, that you have decided to stop drinking?

@janbb Thanks, I have told close friends, but here in South Korea I’m still making friends really and I’m not ready for that conversation with some of them. I live in a small town with few foreigners so we get a bit of attention and a fair few social invites. Perhaps I should have a t-shirt made up!

I’m proud of you @jeanmay! Thanks for kick in the arse(ass)

@jeanmay I intend to be there unless school interferes.

@TLRobinson Thanks, and my pleasure ;)
@dpworkin I think I’ll come too. Hmm, haven’t figured out the time difference though. Hang on…

I plan to be there.

If it’s due to take place at 5pm ET (?), then it’ll be 6 am jeanmay time. Hmm, will be there but may be distracted by making breakfast and general family-morningness.

5 pm Pacific time, 8 pm ET.

@janbb Oh, thanks. Tried to check the blog but it wouldn’t let me in. I shall be there with bells on in that case.

I will probably get the title track for the album done this week, but my parents are visiting so that will probably slow me down a little. I recorded a rough cut last night just to remember the melodies, and it tops 7 minutes… so I have a lot of editing to do to get it to a listenable length, especially because I still want to add some instrumental work… Maybe I’ll just make it like 200 tempo ;p I’m shooting to get the album all recorded by the end of May and edited by mid-June-ish. But we’ll see!

Hi guys,

after a pretty heated argument last night (faces were slapped, things were thrown, beds were pushed apart and possessions were divided) (well, I wasn’t the one doing those things but still they happened) my fiance informed me that he didn’t like some of the things I said and now we are no longer “together” as a couple. Problem: we live together and neither of us have the luxury of moving out. This follows a month long argument about his decision to join the air force, and comes right after finally turning in my totaled (by him) car to Goodwill. I never wanted to break up with him and have tried to bridge the rift but he is standing ground. I have a quantum mechanics quiz tomorrow and I’m pretty sure I’m going to fail as I got no studying done this weekend. The last time I felt this shitty I swallowed two bottles of pills. :(

@holden So sorry you are feeling this way! Hang tough, life will improve but I can sure understand the pain. My thoughts are with you.

@holden Ehhh, breathe…no pill swallowing…I am sorry faces were slapped…if it’s not meant to be, time will heal all and you don’t need to be with him…yes, it’ll be shitty to live together for a while…but you can always stay with friends for now and in your entire life landscape, your quantum mechanics quiz won’t mean much, trust me.

Yes, I agree. Just do the best you can on the quiz but don’t worry about it. You might even be able to talk to the teacher afterward and make something up. It sounds like this break-up has been coming for a while. It’s a terrible wrench but you will survive it….If you have girlfriends, now’s the time to seek them out.

@holden Wow, it’s hard to know what to say there – I hope things get easier quickly. Breathe, be as clear as you can in your own mind as to what you want. Definitely a walking on egg-shells time, but it will improve one way or another.

@holden Hi there, honey. Listen. Do me a favour and stop airing our personal items in public forums? I’ve commented on this before.

Second, your paragraph is incredibly weighted against me without any real mention or description of your own statements or actions.

Third, that may have been what you did last time, but you know better now. We both know you’re stronger than that. So buck up.

@Jerikao This question is not for airing personal problems out but it is for supporting fluther members through personal goals and struggles – no names are mentioned, nobody knows who you are and I hope you allow @holden to feel safe enough to converse with us…thank you in advance…in other news, what is it lately with partners/spouses finding their counterparts’ stuff on fluther…naturalmineralwater’s wife has been pretty upset with what she’s found out…

@Jerikao this is one of the few places where I feel safe to air my personal items. Sorry, I forgot you even have a profile on this site since you use it so infrequently.

@Jerikao I second what @Simone_De_Beauvoir said; this thread is for support, and as such no one’s passing judgment. People look for support in all kinds of places when they hit hard times, so please be forgiving.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir & @jeanmay Honestly, it’s the second item in my post that I wanted to be sure was mentioned. I do understand and respect the need for a place to vent and or get support. Don’t misinterpret. But if you’re cheering along with somebody’s one-sided story… Are you really helping or hurting?

@holden Yeah, but I know to go ahead and check Fluther any time you are angry or upset. : ) I do understand the need for a safe place. I just don’t like being smeared publicly… Even if it is anonymous. But eh… Go for it. I’m done poking at Fluther now. It’s cute, though.

Facial slapping is physical violence. If you were hurt, and you are finished with the relationship, file a complaint, get an order of protection and have him ejected from your house. You are not required to live in danger.

@Jerikao Not cheering along, just offering kind words.

@Jerikao Actually, I never take only the poster’s words…as I always realize there are two parties involved..in my response, I wasn’t making any insults in your direction, because that’s not the point – the point is to help someone get through something and that will allow the poster the energy to address what’s going on in their lives

@dpworkin I am aware, and thank you for the advice. But the only injuries I sustained were emotional.
@jeanmay @Simone_De_Beauvoir thanks guys, your words are much appreciated.

There is such a thing as emotional abuse.

Would you feel better or safer if you could go stay somewhere else tonight, holden?

it’s okay pd, he only gets like that when he’s drunk (as he was last night.)~

@janbb yes. but I have to be in school tomorrow. I may go spend the night with a friend who lives on campus.Fuck, the tears are coming back.

I can’t argue with you if you say it’s OK. But I can feel less alarmed about your difficulties than I did originally.

Be strong, things will work out. Hugs to you.

Stay with your friend, sounds like a good idea.

I am having a very similar conversation with zebter right now on another q and am continuing to feel like all these interactions are giving me a peek into lives of fluther couples that I don’t feel I have a privilege to look into – it’s almost like I can’t help what I read but I don’t want to read it and these issues are bigger than us here…we don’t know how enough to really help

as you know “only gets like that when he’s drunk” is no excuse. I would definitely go stay with a friend even if it’s just for the comfort and not worried about safety. And maybe don’t even try to take the test, go to the teacher afterward and explain.

@holden I agree with @janbb.

@dpworkin note the sarcasm squiggly? Honestly, the arguments that end with me in tears only seem to happen when he drinks.

@holden Ya – email the professor if you can and let them know. Maybe they can arrange another time that will be less intense for you.

I’m so sorry you were hurt. I admire @janbb‘s suggestion. I also agree that you should attempt to postpone the exam.

@JeanPaulSartre @dpworkin I will do as you advise.

I think staying away as often as I could from the house in the weeks between when my relations ended with my ex-wife and when I moved out really helped even though I never felt that I was in physical danger. I spent a few weekends staying with one of my oldest friends and her husband – it was about as settled as I could be aside from when I was spending time with Simone.

@holden Good luck chicken, chin up.

Why would you want to be with someone that drinks? Especially if that is not your idea of fun. It will be better and easier in the long run.

I second what @JeanPaulSartre said – after we broke up, my ex husband stayed in our home for months and months and months – in the beginning, when things were raw, we’d stay in separate rooms but mostly I’d be in the city in my best friend’s dorm…when Alex moved here, within a bit, I moved in with him into our apartment…—and my ex stayed in my home with my parents until, finally, we had to (again and again and again) remind him that I am now 7 months pregnant and we need our home back!

@Simone_De_Beauvoir sounds like a dead weight.

Thanks for being there for me, guys. I already feel better. :)

@holden aww, yay! hey, things are simpler to solve when there are no children..sometimes a clean break is easier without kids involved

I have to admit I believe my marriage is over.. but it was over before it ever began because of the man I married. Its not my fault and I have to keep telling myself that.

I have bought a few books this past week which have opened my eyes even more to the type of relationship I am in. This is just a place to vent. If I did not have kids with my husband I would have been gone long ago.

@holden It sounds like you are in a abusive relationship and you need to get out of it and move on. Do not waste years of your life with someone who will not treat your right.

I want to die.

@holden I bought a book this past week called, But He’ll Change.. End the thinking that keeps you in an abusive relationship. it has opened my eyes a lot. Emotional abuse is something that will scar us for life where as just being slapped the mark will go away. I use to think that abuse was physical and happened on a on going basis. I have learned this year that it is much more than just physical. Find some books to read I have said so many of those sayings. Like things could be worse he could have hit me. They are excuses that allow abusers to keep getting way with their behaviors and its not ok. I do not want my kids to grow up in a home where their mother takes abuse cause it shows them its ok to treat people wrongly.

on other book I have that I am reading is called “Ditch That Jerk” dealing with men who control and hurt women. I have not really had the physical side.

I know how you feel but that kind of thinking is what gives him power over you. Do not give him the power girl. He is not worth it. There is a man out there who is much better for you.

Both books talk about physical and emotional abuse. Knowledge is power do not allow him to control you with the love you have for him. If he says things like, “if you love me then”.. is a big sign that he is using your love for him against you to get you to do what he wants you to do.

You are strong and very smart person. You are worth being treated right.

@zebter The thing is… I’m not trying to have power over her…

@Jerikao nothing personal but my husband would say the same thing. it is never ok slap/hit. I think from what I read it happened when drinking was involved and that is not ok either. People who really love each other would not do this sort of thing. I get the feeling it is a bad match. If this is something you see in all relationships with girlfriends or boyfriends professional help may be needed if one wants to have a good healthy relationship.

sounds like there was a break up. now it is time for both sides to treat the other person good and take steps to move on with your lives. there is someone out there better for both of you I am sure. since there was violence involved I would not recommend this relationship to continue. but that is just my out look. you both will do what you want any how. maybe joining the military and leaving would be your best bet.

gosh if i could join the military I would too but I have found while being a military wife that many not all men who are in the service have some major issues.

@zebter I agree thoroughly… And this is part of why I am trying to break it off. The relationship is unhealthy and I realize that.

@Jerikao that is a very mature way to look at it.

I think the less tension in the same living space you two are in would be best. if you know its over then move on to the next step. maybe one of you could move out and the other person can look for a new roommate to take on the extra rent money that is needed. Sounds like there is a college near by so it should not be to hard to find a roommate.

look on craigslist there are people looking for roommates or advertising for roommates on that site. if you have a buddy you can stay with that could help too.

I am just tossing out ideas.. hope this helps for both of you. good luck guys.

@zebter Yeah… Thanks.

The problem with that, though… Is I’m pretty sure she is uninterested in having a roommate.

And I don’t know more than two or three people in town. We’re both basically 6 hours from “home”. Ya know? But I definitely agree that that makes sense. And I am not really sure how to make it easier… But I’m trying my best to facilitate it. A big problem is that our apartment is a studio.

awh. so there is no place to have some time to just unwind and be alone. wow yeah I can see how that can cause issues. and with it being like that a roommate would be out of the question. I see what you are saying. Well looks like someone will end up having to leave and another person would need to remain and take on all the finical issues that come along with the place. Cause it sounds like the two of you can’t remain in the same small cramped up space.

@zebter Precisely. I think I’ll go for a long walk here in a little bit. That’s usually my way of giving us space. Her or I or both, really. As far as the apartment goes… I’m really not sure what to do at all. It was suggested that I head on “home” and that she might be able to pay the whole of rent each month. But I don’t know if I really like that solution. It makes me feel pretty bad…

I think heading home could be a good idea and then if you feel bad then you could give her some money to help with rent for a while. The timing is up to you on how long you feel you should help.

Ah… The problem with that is going to be having money to give her. I don’t have a job to look forward to back home. Last time I was job hunting in that town, it took me two months to get one.

But…

Once I get into the AF… That would be when I could start sending money. But of course the lease will be up at that point…

Eh…

A lot to think about. I like hitting return too often. And using ellipsis.

you should go for your walk and clear your head. it seems hard now but this is your life and you only have it to live once. make choices that will be best for both of you no mater how hard it may be. we all go through tough times.

I am afraid I am sort of in the same boat and there are not a lot of people being able to find jobs back home. but at least I will have the support of my family and friends to back me up and cheer me on to bettering my life.

@zebter Thanks again

I hope you both find peace through this.. oh and Jerikao don’t drink so much.. :)

Your welcome I hope I was of help to both of you in some way.

[mod says] @Jerikao and @zebter Please take the back and forth conversation to PMs.

Sorry I’ve been out of touch just recently. I’m usually pretty attentive to this thread because I take a personal interest in its development. I see there’ve been quite a few newcomers lately—welcome!

As the originator of the progress thread I do have to remind folks that it’s about goals and progress toward goals. We give support to one another as we move forward, and we offer a sympathetic ear to setbacks. We’ve done plenty of helping each other through tough spots. But I’m afraid we can’t turn it into an outright therapy session or entertain prolonged dialogue on personal matters, or we will lose our own collective goal here. @augustlan, thanks for the reminder above.

Perhaps those of you who want to discuss specific issues in an open forum could post a new starter question that won’t derail the progress thread?

thanks Augustlan! I appreciate people have problems to sort out and have compassion for all of you involved in these scenarios but was beginning to wonder where the thread had gone :-)

@JeanPaulSartre good luck with the title track but you are obviously making headway and if you’re too busy surely a little break won’t halt progress too much? :-)
@dpworkin I’m with you on that one…I will try to make Fluther a better place too this week… although I’m still not entirely sure what has been going on to make it not so…
@janbb you are an inspiration with all your exercising and positivity..thank you
@jeanmay thank you for your encouragement. I love the blue frog thing… that’s my son all over! Good luck with the travel scrap book and the studying…x
@holden & @Jerikao I hope you manage to resolve your issues with one another with peace and compassion…relationship struggles can drain everyone involved and can be very damaging. I’ve never been in this situation (going through a break up whilst living with someone) so I can only imagine how difficult it can be. I wish you all the best and an easy atmosphere xxx
Likewise for @zebter I’ve noted some of your posts over the past couple of days on other threads…I also hope things get resolved for you also xx

Unfortunately I was really really disappointed when I got on the scales this morning to find out that i was 11.5!! It seems I’ve put on 3 pounds since last Monday… not a good start. My plans to get down to 10.3 for my birthday are seriously being scuppered… :-( must persevere though.

Although I have a cold and a chest infection and a very painful foot at the moment and I know I need to rest my body, so this is not going to help. Perhaps I should just aim to stick to the diet between now and Thursday (weigh in day at WW), maybe just do some light walking and not beat myself up for any weight gain that I might experience. But I MUST stick to the diet for the next few days and not go off the rails and down the ‘what’s the point?’ road.

I am going to start my essay today though… I’ll put the Wii on for Theo for a while and get my head down… which will help me stop thinking about food too!! :-)

On a lighter note… talking about people finding partners on Fluther… somebody…(who I can’t disclose) found me through Fluther (not a partner obviously..) and has been very complimentary about my answers and the type of person I am…which is…lovely:-)

@Jeruba good to see you back..I was pondering where you might be… Lovely that you’re back though xxx

@Dog, thanks for your excellent reminder above. Well said.

Hugs and lurve and congratulations and support going out to the appropriate people, above. I love this thread, and all of you, too. <3

Finally got my taxes done! I’m really looking forward to getting the refund… it’s sorely needed. I haven’t managed to get the next newsletter out yet. It’s been crazy-busy around here, and I just haven’t had the time. So, it’s back on this week’s agenda.

@augustlan you are a treasure!! excited about the newsletter… I’m sure it will be great xx

I meant to say also that I’m really going to try and talk in a nicer, more pleasant, positive tone to my son this week. He seems to be whining and moaning a lot of the things he says and I’m worried that it’s because of my general attitude and the way in which I speak to him a lot of time…:-(

I’m also going to put my greenhouse on Freecycle :-)

@augustlan I can’t wait to see the new newsletter – the last one was great!

@lynneblundell Hope you feel better soon… Just remember, every little bit that you do now (light walking, sticking to the diet as much as possible) will make it that much easier once you feel better and are ready to go all out again!

I just started working on starting a business, printing letterpress stationery. I’ve been working for a woman who owns a local letterpress studio, and she’s been teaching me all about printing and how the business end of a print shop works. I’ve also been talking to a good friend who does gorgeous architectural drawings, and we finally decided this weekend that I’m going to start out by printing notecards with her artwork on them.

Right now I’m working on getting the business end of things set up, and printing some test samples to see what the cards will look like. I seriously don’t think I’ve ever been as excited about a project as I am about this one. I can’t wait to see how it goes!

@sdeutsch The business sounds great.
@lynneblundell Just keep plugging on the weight loss – it’s hard, I know!
@augustlan and @Jeruba Thanks for getting the thread back on track.

Phew, glad we got the thread back!
@Jeruba So happy to see you back here, was also wondering about you.
@JeanPaulSartre Good luck with the title track. Are you parents musical? Maybe they can help out!
@lynneblundell Hope someone goes for the greenhouse. Kids pick up all kinds of behaviour from goodness knows where, so don’t be too hard on yourself. It can’t hurt to lead by example though (although my son likes to do the opposite of anything I might do!).
@augustlan Newsletter, oooh that sounds exciting. Look forward to that!
@sdeutsch Hello, I’m jeanmay. I love stationary. Your business sounds extremely interesting, I especially like the sound of the architectural drawing note-cards.

I have finished another painting today!! yay go me!! yes it is on my blog if anyone wants to have a look
I have a man coming to pick up the greenhouse tomorrow morning
Theo is still whining at me…but I’m trying not to beat myself up about that…because
Today I went to my counselling session and have uncovered some very sensitive issues regarding abuse in my childhood and I’m a bit freaked out by it to be honest… but hopefully the sick feeling and despair I am experiencing is a sign that some progress is being made on connecting with my true feelings rather than shoving them down with food and forgetting about them…..

Hey everyone – Sorry I took a week off from the thread – I missed you all but it was our Spring break, and I was trying to get work done on the house. In my house progress – we now have curtains on all the windows, and my husband and I only snapped at each other a teensy bit. ~

Congrats to all who have made progress, and hang in there to those who are having trouble. You can get through this! We believe in you.

I’ll come back to you individually when I get a chance.

It’s a quiet week in Lake Woebegone. The young ladies have gone home to Quebec, Greenhouse work, removing spiles and tap lines. Overhauling equipment for the spring planting. The sheep want out of the fold and into the pastures. Gens border collies are eager to show their stuff. Mud season at its height.
Immediate goals: tear down, cleanup up and store the maple equipment. Work in the greenhouse, muck out the sheepfold. When the ground dries, excavate the footings for the second sugar house, smoke house and pump house, lay rebar and call the ready
mix truck. Then convert the huge piles of blasted granite into walls using a modified method Slipcast stone walls, maple roof beams and slate roofing. We’ll be employing local unemployed youth who would otherwise be troublemakers and teaching them useful skills. The sherriffs department will be happy.. I’m still working on a plan to permanently install some of the main sap header lines (can’t make them permanent in the woods as they wodd interfere with logging). My neighbor is acquiring the equipment and we’ll build a sugar shack for her as well. Much of the work this summer will be supervised by Genevive as much of my time will be spent in academia.
I may have made a stupid move, but I’ve invited Jackie to come back and live with us. She’ll be helping me in the shop and doing secretarial work on my thesis work. I’m hoping that our relationship can be that of father to daughter, but I leave this entirely up to her. A liitle voice in the back of my head tells me that Meghan has sent her to me. I want to see her have a good life. I’m not going to encourage anything, but the nature of our relationship is entirely up to her. “No fool like an old fool”. I want to convince her to go on to college and have told her that Meg and I have set aside funds for that purpose

My thesis advisor seems to think that a year or two of solid effort and it will be ready to defend and publish, it just needs to be edited by about 50%. and brought up to date. I still have cold feet about returning after a 30+ year hiatus.

@lynneblundell It’s a slow process, but worth it. It took Meghan about five years to exorcise the abuse demons, counselling and gentle understanding.

@zephyr86 House projects can bring out the best and worst in us. Just keep your eye on the goal’

@Simone_De_Beauvoir You have many friends and admirers here, you have given me much wise advice. Please try to remember that when you hit a rough patch in the road. If you run into a real a**hole, just PM me and I’ll be there in full berserker mode. :^)

As a general cooment: I had made myself greatly disliked on other sites as a “take no prisoners” debater on topics I’m passionate about. When I joined Fluther, I vowed that such behaviour would not be continued here. I ofter avoid such topics entirely or I just state my opinion and leave without defending my position. I do this to keep the peace. I’d rather be thought a coward than a troublemaker.

Good luck to all in your goals!! PS What happened to Rangerr?

Sunday, April 18

I’m only the first one in because I’m up way to late working on my music. I finished track 5 which happens to be the title track tonight. I’m still hoping to keep up this pace and shoot for a mid June release – fingers remain crossed… except when I’m typing… or playing guitar… or piano… or…

4 AM here, no sleep. The depression has crept back in again. I sick of fighting it and am just going to let nature take its course. To hell with everything.

@stranger_in_a_strange_land Don’t give in to it – maybe consider adjusting your meds. You’ve come too far to go back now. Think of all the progress you’ve made on the farm and the contributions you have made here.

@JeanPaulSartre Great progress on the CD!

As for me, I’ve been enjoying life in a Northeastern springtime and having the house to myself while my husband is away sailing. I am preparing now for next Friday’s class in which I wil teach The Joy Luck Club. At my coordinator’s suggestion, I phoned the students who had missed the first class and invited them to the second; I think I will get a slightly bigger turnout.

Fluther continues to be a compelling distraction! I felt like I was having a slight Fluther meltdown a few days ago for various reasons but got talked down from the ledge.

@janbb Your classes sound fascinating, I wish I lived close enough to attend them.

I’ve spent the last two days cutting and shaping timbers for roof trusses to go on the smokehouse and second evaporator shed. Rough cutting with the chainsaw and doing the rest the old-fashioned way: Hand saw, chisels and adze There is at least a monmentary satisfaction at seeing a useful object emerge from the labor of ones hands.

Too much time to think. How can my good intentions be so horribly misinterpreted? I lack the aptitude that other peple have (it seems a kind of magic to me) in understanding other peoples intentions, or reacting appropriately to those signals.Now I seem to have alienated my business partner and have inadvertantly caused an 18 year old young lady to believe that I have romantic intentions towards her (which I don’t).

I gave her an emerald necklace that I though Meg would have wanted her to have (she’s the daughter of Megs second cousin) and I’ve arranged to pay her college expenses (again, Meghan and I had planned this some time ago). Now she thinks I’m her “sugar daddy” and is sending me gushing romantic e-mails. All I want is to offer her a better life than she would otherwise have. Better to just stick to my books and classical CDs. Human interaction is poison to me.

Today, I’ll be in the tractor seat, getting the one dry field ready to transplant seedlings under plastic. Later this week I’ll be assembling the framework for the third greenhouse. The glazier cut about half the glass panels wrong, a weeks delay while they get it right.

I’m working on sketches for doubling the size of one of the guest cottages on the farm, a workroom and library in case I can no longer live under the same roof as Gen and Karen.. We made a mistake in giving Genevive half the house. She can’t afford the taxes and maintenance. I may have to buy her out and build her something she can afford to maintain. That would mean liquidating assets in a bad economy. Probably better that I move out for now and deal with this if and when the economy turns around (or more likely instruct the executor of my estate to do it).

I don’t want to be around the screaming drama. When I thought Karen was being violently bullied I intervened; both of them told me to mind my own f**cking business. I wish I’d stayed up in the cabin and just let the farm go to hell. I don’t fit in with human race, better to remove myself from all this crap I don’t understand.

@stranger_in_a_strange_land Please don’t give up. I’m sure you’re intentions are in exactly the right place. Unfortunately we can’t control what other people do and think! (or maybe fortunately) You’ve done nothing wrong so don’t beat yourself up about it. You do belong here. You DO. I know it’s really hard when we firmly believe we don’t… I myself am guilty of feelings like this at the moment but we do, really…maybe we’ve just not found the magical place yet…where we feel truly comfortable. Chin up or…get the chocolate out! :-)x

Well, last week I managed to get rid of my greenhouse to a lovely deserving chap and his wife. And I finished another painting which you all know already.

I didn’t do too badly on the weight front either..I put half a pound on…but I’d not been weighed for a couple of weeks and definitely put loads on the week before…so I’d technically lost some weight!! (if you know what I mean!)

I’ve started my essay,...managed to get 400 words done, it’s not much but it really was tough starting…am feeing positive about it though.

This week I’m going to focus totally on my essay and getting the research finished and my thoughts in order and words written, to be submitted by Friday. I have loads of other jobs that I need to do…but I’m going to put them all off for another week!!

@lynneblundell Good work starting on the essay!

@stranger It might be worth writing to Meghan’s relative just to highlight the fact that you are carrying out Meghan’s wishes and subtly making the point that you are not a sugar daddy.

Alert the media! I have finished my paper on memory, cognition and nueroplasticity in congenitally blind individuals before it was due! I wonder what the chances are that I will work on my Demographic Anthropology paper?

(I don’t want to make a big deal out of this, or to start a discussion about it, but I wanted to let my friends here in this thread know that I am thinking about the possibility of either taking an extended break from Fluther, or deleting my account. I haven’t decided yet, and I may just continue to bumble along, but if I disappear, I will have at least said goodbye here.)

@lynneblundell @janbb Thanks for the encouragement. If I had any brains I’d stay off in internet when I’m feeling this way. It’s bad enough to feel like this, but hurtful to drag others down with me.

@dpworkin @lynneblundell Congratulations on breaking the procrastination barrier!!

@dpworkin I’ve considered deleting also. Every time I hear a site owner start talking about “new, improved” I cringe. The last site that did this actually refused to let us delete our accounts, even holding our avatars hostage (hence my preemptive picture deletion). I’ll stick around for a while, but I’ve yet to see an “improved” site that was user-friendly. It seems that as soon as I get comfortable on a site, it gets ruined by “improvements”. Maybe I’m a Jonah? I’m in no mood to start over elsewhere, so I’ll likely switch off this electronic time-waster for good.

@stranger_in_a_strange_land Normally I would agree with you Re: sites getting ruined by improvements, but in this case I entreat you to have faith. We’re fortunate to have founders and administrators that share a certain vision, and are highly engaged with the community. I truly believe that they won’t screw it up. In either case, you’d be sorely missed.

I’m not up to much, right now. My work term is wrapping up in two weeks, then I’m back to school. I’m both sad to go and eager to go back to school.

I also want to congratulate the procrastination warriors of the thread, I’m in a bit of slump on that front, and I should whip myself into shape.

Everything that Ben and Andrew have done to this site since I’ve been a part of it has been positive…I have no complaints, so I don’t really understand what the problem is…I have every faith that any changes will be improvements and I’m pretty sure that if it turned out that they weren’t and the majority of jellies didn’t like it, I think they would respect the community enough to listen and put things back the way they were…but anyway!!

come on @gggritso just one little step! you can do it!
@dpworkin and @stranger_in_a_strange_land I implore you not to leave

I have my college decision narrowed down to two. This could easily become one once I receive my financial aid package for Cornell, which I expect to be pretty awful, haha. This is a pretty big deal for me, as I’ve been stressing over this for months now. It’ll be fantastic to know where I’m going!

Other than that, I sure haven’t accomplished much lately. My senioritis is increasing exponentially these days and I am sooooo lazy. I’m on spring break now, though, so hopefully I will be able to relax and recharge.

@Mariah What’s the other choice besides Cornell?

@dpworkin and @stranger_in_a_strange_land No leaving! I would miss you both terribly. :(

Two great schools! You must be a schmahtie pants.

Cornell is a damned fine school, almost as good as Dartmouth~

@dpworkin Haha, thanks! I love them both. I don’t know how I’m going to make up my mind, unless the financial aid offer from Cornell does it for me.

@stranger_in_a_strange_land Your sarcasm squiggly is worrying me… I know they have a reputation of being the “crappy ivy” but they have a darned good physics/astronomy program, which is what I’m going into.

@Mariah Never mind my partisan humor (I’m a Big Green alumnus). Cornell is top-drawer in astronomy/astrophysics

I am back on track with my weight loss, that’s one. My work numbers report is out and I achieved my yearly numbers and surpassed them within the past 5 months and am the only one in the entire NY/NJ area to have done so. Bosses 5 levels above have had to call me and ask because they think it’s a typo and can’t understand how anyone can be this productive. It’s put me in an uncomfortable position because pressure will be put on other navigators elsewhere but slowing down to be more normal has never been my strong suit, so I’ll just do what I do and move on. I do think, given that everyone has now noticed my achievements, that asking for a raise around this summer wouldn’t be a bad idea. I will run this by my supervisor who’s an amazing person and see what she says. And finally, I have been able to stay away from Fluther more in order to have less stress and have accomplished this.

Wow @Simone_De_Beauvoir, a lot of positive news! MazelTov! I’m glad to hear it. It must feel good to be able to help so may people in need.

@Mariah Good luck on the college decision. It’s an exciting and stressful time.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Good news on all fronts!

@Simone_De_Beauvoir That is great that you are getting the recognition you so richly deserve! and thank you so much for the wise advice

I’m thinking of going to school, guys. No idea how I go about these things.

Don’t tell anyone, it’s secret, and I’m still really uncertain if this is what I want.

@Grisaille :o ! A bold move! Good luck on making the decision.

@Grisaille Keep us in the loop.

Old people shouldn’t be allowed to go to school. They fuck everything up for the rest of us.

Who’s this “rest of us”, white boy?

We youthful scholars.

Us old farts should stop clogging up the grad schools~

@stranger_in_a_strange_land And definitely stop smelling up the halls!

I am having balance in my fluthering. I have even got my Tibetan prayer bowl to sing.

We are wondering if it is time for me to go to school full-time in the fall, which means the kids entering institutional schooling. We are looking into those things. If having no money and the idea of crippling debt doesn’t stop us, maybe, my anxiety will.

I was able to get some insurance finally and my goal this week is to look into medical help for my ADD and moodiness. I once had a wise person say to me that thinking my meds need attention probably means they do, ahem, @stranger_in_a_strange_land ;)

I could also use some mojo from those of you so good at getting writing done on time, let alone early. I am a paper behind in my class and need to change this by tomorrow!

@liminal So get off your ass and get to work, girlie! (How’s that for mojo?) I am taking my own advice and going to finish my reread of The Joy Luck Club right….about….now…...

@liminal-I’m still workiong ony commentaries for you andf you lady, please excuse my slowness—

@stranger_in_a_strange_land no worries, you have lots going on, don’t let my request pressure you friend.

@janbb wonderful inspiration, =P I am not coming back until tomorrow, starting, right, now.

(Finished the book.)

No milestone but a mini-rant. I had the “goal” of getting my driver’s license renewed this afternoon at the DMV; an unpleasant chore which I am somewhat phobic about. In “Jersey,” they make you jump through hoops I.D.-wise. I passed one hurdle and sat for an hour, waiting to be called for a photo. The new person noticed that I have different middle initials as my driver’s licence uses my original middle name initial and everything newer uses my original last name as middle. I had to go back to the first guy and argue but to no avail. Now I have to go back with other proof. A wasted and unpleasant afternoon. I guess the new “goal” is letting go of the frustration faster!

@janbb the first time I got my driver’s license they sent me to the wrong line and I waited for 2 hours in the line to retake the eye exam in stewd of getting my picture taken. It’s not that much easier in Illinois.
@Grisaille Way to go! I really need to go back too. Maybe you can be my inspiration.
@stranger_in_a_strange_land I’m so sorry that all of the women in your life are so full of drama right now. But please don’t exile yourself completely. We would miss you tremendously!
@dpworkin you too. We don’t want you to disappear.
@liminal that’s awesome on the bowl. I know you’d been working on it for a while.

We start prom construction this week and my goal for the next two weeks is to see my husband for more than 10 minutes before we go to sleep. For those of you (like myself) who didn’t got to a small-town high school in middle America, this may be a foreign concept. We are attempting to turn a high school gym into a gossamer-festooned twinkle-light-infused replica of Gotham city. Pray for us, or send good vibes if you prefer. I may not get to fluther for the next month with this ridiculousness, but I’m going to try.

I fought the DMV and I won! I went back bright and early this morning with all my I.D. The same guy tried to invalidate my papers but I stood my ground and a nicer worker took them back to the manager who approved them. I now have gotten my license and have the middle initial to match my other I.D. but it took some doing.

@janbb High Five

Thanks, pal!

Hi again.

I haven’t visited this thread since last weekend’s (rather embarrassing) episode. Short story: my S/O and I are back on good terms and things are well again in the relationship arena.

On a side note, I went back and read some of the postings that have been added since my last visit, and it saddens me to see that pd is thinking about deleting his account. I am sure I am not the only one who would sincerely miss his contributions to this site.

Now I am focusing on fund raising for my summer trip, in addition to school and my normal activities. As I have mentioned elsewhere, this summer I will be traveling with a convoy of student volunteers to the Arusha district of Tanzania. Our purpose there is to educate Tanzanian youths from the ages of 6 to ~16 about HIV/AIDS prevention and awareness. We will be living on a compound near Kilimanjaro Airport, near also to an orphanage (built by the organization a few years ago) that now houses about 17 kids. One of the focuses of this summer’s trip will also be on creating new infrastructure, and plans are underway for building a community center in the village.

The organization is called One Heart Source, and here is their website. There are 12 people going from Cal Poly this year and 50 from UCLA.

I organized a booth on one of our campus’s main lawns last Friday to do some fund raising and we were pretty successful (it brought in $126!). It was my first time “organizing” anything. Seven of us got together and staffed it over the course of 5 hours. My manager and I made a big sign, and I got together a table and chairs, a donation jar and made about 100 cookies (to encourage donations, I guess). We had a lot of fun with it.

My next goal is to organize a small scale “cultural fair,” so to speak, where we would have Tanzanian music and food for paying attendees. I’m going to get in contact with the ethnic studies department at my school to see if they could help us host and organize it. It will be a challenge, but I think it could work.

In addition to that, I applied for a part-time tutoring job for math, and I meet with the parents tomorrow.

And I’m learning Swahili. I’m so excited for this!

Glad to hear about the relationship. It takes all work, all the time, doesn’t it? In order to understand one another, sometimes one of us must go so far as to take Swahili.

I’m pleased that things are looking better for you now @holden. The trip sound fantastic.

@dpworkin no kidding.

What about Yiddish? Would that work?

@janbb um, probably not in Tanzania. But I’m always interested in learning new languages if you have anything to teach me!

@holden You never know – Jews turn up in some funny places.

@janbb uhhh…no comment.

I give up. I get back from two days in Boston (and a terrific hockey game) to find two women screaming at me about no hot water. It turns out that Gen filled and vented the solar collector and failed to perform the last step in my clearly written procedure (re-open the isolation valve). The solar collector is blowing steam out the safety valve but no hot water to the house. I just turned the valve, went to my room and went to sleep. I refuse to even defend myself anymore. I’m tired of being treated like a servant in my own house. My function seems to be cook meals, fix whatevers broken, pay the bills, accept blame for whatever goes wrong and keep my damned mouth shut.

Sorry about the rant. I should probably get the hell off Fluther too.

@stranger_in_a_strange_land don’t be silly, we all need a rant every now and then…but rememeber…we control our destiny :-)

I have finished my essay this morning and submitted it!!! Yay!!! It was the hardest one I’ve done and I’ve really struggled with it, but I’ve managed to stay away from Fluther and get it done so big grin :-)

Need to catch up still on what’s been a happenin so…sure you’re all doing great though…. speak later!!! have lots of read!!

Good for you @lynneblundell !! Big ((hugs)).

lol @ lots of read…was a little brain dead obviously!!

thanks stranger x

I am happy to announce that my work with connecting a patient to our communications dept has paid off, her story was heard, is in the following article and has been picked up by at least 15 websites (many of which are Hispanic media outlets) – the original is in Spanish but here is the version in English.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir That’s a powerful story, thanks for sharing it. It’s not just Hispanics in the US though. In many parts of the world poor people don’t get screening tests even if they’re free, because they can’t afford treatment even with early detection.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir You do important work. I hope to be somewhere near as useful once I have my degree.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Oh, good work! You must be very pleased.

I taught my last adult ed literature class of the semester this morning. I had called the students who didn’t come to the first class inviting them to come and got three this time instead of the only two that came last time. Despite the low turnout, the class went very well; I am always very nervous beforehand and then surprise myself by how good I am at running a class. It was not an ability I expected to have when I was younger which is probably why I didn’t shoot to be a lit professor back then. It’s been a stressful week with the DMV fight, the stress of this and other issues, but the sun is shining, I just took a walk, and I am hoping to do some serious de-stressing this weekend.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Thank you for helping.

@janbb I bet I would enjoy sitting in on a class you teach.

@stranger_in_a_strange_land Oh definitely – this particular story called for a Hispanic patient but when I shared her story with our communications dept I didn’t even think about that…they were just able to find a perfect outlet for it.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir It’s great how well you got the point across though. Serious kudos for the outstanding work you’re doing.

@stranger_in_a_strange_land
and @ all thanks
there is always more I can do if I never slept. Sigh. I worked through my day off today but there were emergency situations. As they always are.

You guys make me proud. :)

@Simone_De_Beauvoir If there’s any justice in the universe, you’ve got a Nobel Prize coming, or sainthood.

I’ve been awake for 30 hours, rebuilt three pumps, mucked out the sheep pens, replaced a tractor tie rod, written an amazing amount of depressive drivel on Fluther, cooked 5 meals and ate mine in the kitchen each time. They actually invited me to eat at the table, but I don’t feel worthy to eat with the white folks. One of these days I’ll have to remind myself that I own this damned place. No, that would just create more conflict. It’s 3 AM, maybe I should stop writing this crap and render myself unconscious for a few hours.

************************************** Sunday, April 24 **************************************

Sundays roll around with amazing regularity. I have today to finish reading The Demography of the Dobe !Kung for tomorrow’s final in Demographic Anthropology. In two weeks I will no longer be an Undergrad.

Sorry, darlin’, they do roll around fast but not so fast. Today is Saturday, April 24th; you’ve got another day to read and study!

Really? What a relief! Well, you can see what state of mind I’m in.

Um – yes, sweetie.

This makes me smile.

What a difference 12 hours of sleep can make. This domestic arrangement is unacceptable and is probably detrimental to my mental health. (edited out about 500 words of self-pity)

I’ve got to take the initiative in this situation, even though a major part of my mind is telling me to just crawl into a hole and sleep.

Sunday, April 25

Another productive night and week – I’ve finished track 7 now, and have begun a new track. Although this one is more experimental, and I’m not sure if it has a place on the current album, but it’s interesting as it stands. So 3ish more and this album is toast! Then just lots of prod-work… pictures/album art, lyrics pages… good stuff! I’m pretty fired up about the whole thing!

Can’t I just use Alex’s? Sigh…I’ve been hanging away from fluther or continuing to do so this week and it’s continuing to work out in my favor…I also survived new employee boot camp at work and can resume helping patients next week…a lot of exciting things are going on right now with many interesting things coming up in the future…all this is muddied up by the fact that we have zero money and are kind of screwed…anyway, something will get figured out, it always does.

Ahem – I got to 20k last night.

@JeanPaulSartre, That is very exciting! @Simone_De_Beauvoir, Ironic how even the things we do that are positive bring a certain amount of stress and there is nothing fun about money stress. I hope for extra laughter in the home this week you two!

@janbb I noticed this and think it is well earned!

I am feeling the ’no money squeeze’ myself. I am investigating scholarship options for graduate school and finding it a bit barren. I am caught up on class work and pressing ahead on new end of semester stuff.

You all make me so appreciative to be on this thread.

As for?? Well, I still haven’t paid my tuition and I keep “nibbling” off of it. The 5th of May is the deadline. I’m going to try to get up the nerve this week…

I wish I could turn my 20k to bucks and distribute it to all you hardworking students as micro-loans!

Ach, deary me, I have been woefully neglecting this thread. I won’t back-track all the way, but I just wanted to say how happy I was to read such a positive post from @holden.

As for this week, congratulations @JeanPaulSartre on the album, sounds like it’s all coming together wonderfully.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir I admire your productiveness and your ability to stay away from Fluther at will. Sigh.
@liminal and @Simone_De_Beauvoir Lottery tickets? It can’t hurt to try!
@TLRobinson Go and pay it, and then reward yourself with a big plate of pancakes.
@janbb Had a bass at your 20k party, thanks. You are well-loved around here for shore.

As for me, I didn’t make in progress in the way I hoped to, but some achievements are worth a mention. I’m still safely snuggled on my wagon and no alcoholic beverage has passed my lips. I have been dreaming about champagne, a personal favourite. My subconscious saying goodbye, perhaps?

I haven’t been studying Korean. I’m not really sure what I can say about that. I think I have some deep issues regarding accountability, which not only means I perhaps don’t qualify for this thread, but also makes functioning in the real world a little tricky. I did manage, however, to write a note to my son’s daycare teacher this morning in Korean, with the help of many text books and some of my old notes. That was very satisfying.

While I appear to have spent the past two weeks doing nothing but farting about on the internet, I have made some great connections here on Fluther and have started several private correspondences as a result. That is making me happy.

Have a great week everyone, big smiles.

‘Grats @janbb!

Thanks everyone for the encouragement!

I got a part-time job! I start Thursday. Somebody should bake me a cake.

@holden Congratulations! How about brownies?

For holden

Looks like @dpworkin has made his exit, at least he said goodbye, sigh.

Psst. It’s only temporary. I hope.

I hope so too! ):

Me three T.T

Just a brief check-in.
@janbb Hooray for 20k!
@holden Congratulations on the job. What will you be doing?
@stranger_in_a_strange_land We believe in you! You need to take care of yourself first, and make some of these women step up and take care of the situation as well. They’re big girls.
@jeanmay well done on the sobriety! You can do it. Keep going.
@all the rest, carry on. We’re gradually getting there.

Regarding my insane goal of building prom in a week, we’re about halfway done. However, I am amending my goal to include not decking a student or a parent before we’re done. I think I can shoot for that.

managed to clean my car inside and out, top to bottom today…big achievement as it generally only gets done once a year…and never that good…but it looks and smells delightful now

dp gone???

Progress: I got my braces off today! After 2+ years of them (From February 08 to today), I was ready for them to be gone. It didn’t hurt too bad, and overall, I’m definitely happy they’re gone. However, now I have two ugly, uncomfortable retainers that make me sound like I have a speech problem in their place, that I’ll have to have for at least another year. sigh

Oh well, overall, this day has been great. :D

Progress today!! I personally paid my tuition, in full!! I’m on my way(gulp), whew…

@TLRobinson That’s just great!

@TLRobinson Woo hoo! I am so glad!
@zephyr826 Thanks :) I hope you make it through the prom planning without throwing any punches!!
@lynneblundell Well done on the car (ours is terrible)!! Nice pic by the way.
@mangeons Must be a relief to get the braces off. A year is not so long, and I’m sure you’ll get the hang of talking with them.

I wrote my son’s teacher another note in Korean today :) (Who knows if it made any sense!).

@jeanmay Really, the retainers are more of a pain than the braces are. They’re more uncomfortable, and I have to take them out every time I want to eat. But eventually, it’ll all be gone, and I’ll have nothing but straight teeth. (:

More progress: I made my own sandwich for the very first time today, no joke. It was about ten minutes ago. It was a very good peanut butter sandwich.

@TLRobinson That’s absolutely great!!! :D

Congrats to everyone on their progress! (:

I did it again. My last posting, I probably forgot to push the Answer button. Well, thanks for the kind words and good luck to all. I’m staying around and really hope that @dpworkin decides to return.

My contributions to this thread feel pretty lame compared to some of you. You jellies are amazing!!

I have decided to attend [removed by Fluther, at poster's request], and feel really good about that decision. Having that behind me feels fantaaaaaaastic.

For the weeks or months ahead, I need to think long and hard about my options, and what will be best for me, healthwise. Without going into too many gory details, I have an autoimmune disease that could be cured by the removal of my colon. That’s a scary step to take, though. Instead, I have opted to try a fairly heavy-duty drug as treatment. There’s a ridiculously long warning list attached to this drug, but I’ve been using it for about a year now and it’s been working wonderfully for me; very few side effects. About a week ago, though, I came down with some kind of terrible respiratory bug and have been feeling awful. Have seen my doctor; it’s very likely either a reaction to my meds or an opportunistic infection because my meds suppress my immune system. Either way, I’ve been feeling a lot more wary about this drug these days. I don’t really want to get my colon chopped out, but… bleh. Been feeling kind of down about my long-term prospects from all this. It seems like I can’t go a few months without getting ridiculously ill, and this is supposed to be the healthiest time of my life?! I hope I get old before I die.

@Mariah That’s great about the school decision. I admire your attitude about continuing on despite your health problems. You’re an inspiration to me; I nearly gave up after far fewer problems recently.

@Mariah Glad you feel good about the college decision and sorry about the health issues.

@Mariah You don’t sound “lame” in the slightest: deciding on a great school and facing illness with bravery and maturity. It is always really tough and frightening to have health issues on your mind, but it sounds like you have options for dealing with it, and are thinking seriously about those options, so that’s positive. Being sick can greatly affect your state of mind, but don’t let it overwhelm you. Think back to the times when you felt on top of it, and try to draw inspiration from those moments. Try focus on the really great things you have going for you now (your brain seems to be working excellently, for example), and don’t be too down about the future, which hasn’t happened yet. If your will to live and joy of life is strong, you can and will find ways to overcome physical difficulties. Big hugs to you!

@mangeons Only just made a sandwich?! My parents forced us to make our own packed lunches from the age of 6 and left us to do our own laundry by the age of 10! I thought that was normal? He he, anyway, well done. Peanut butter and jelly is a good place to start. As you say, the retainer will be all worth it in the end :)

@jeanmay Haha, my dad makes my sandwich for lunch everyday. :P

My oldest started swimming lessons today – I was in the pool with him and it was so much fun!

@Simone_De_Beauvoir How lovely! How old is he? Many of our friends did water baby classes with theirs when they were tiddly babies. We haven’t been to the pool with our two year old yet though…

Work is coming along really well on the 9th track of the upcoming album. I may have to give my voice a break for a bit if I get as sick as I feel like I might be getting, but I’m so close to the end of recording I can taste it!

@jeanmay He’s going to be 4 in July – here he is after we put the swim cap on and here we are right before we went into the pool!

How did I not know this existed until now?

@MissAnthrope Well, now you’re here – welcome!

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Both those seem to be the same photo, but I really enjoyed seeing it, thanks! He looks so grown up for his age :)

@MissAnthrope Welcome!

@jeanmay Really, facebook is so weird! Maybe this? You might have to have facebook though…I don’t know, I’m sorry, it was fun anyway!

Thanks! :) Two things I really want to get done before I leave next month are picking up my flute and practicing, and advancing in my Rosetta Stone Italian lessons.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir “No permission to read this page”, or some such. Facebook can be fickle. Maybe one day we can ‘friend’ each other…

@MissAnthrope I used to play flute but I was too lazy to keep it up. Wish I had. It is a lovely instrument to play – get practising! I am also learning a language at the moment: Korean (we live there). It’s very hard. Italian sounds much sexier! I wish you luck with both those things.

@jeanmay bah! hold on…I feel like I have a Flickr
Do this

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Aah, there he is! Gorgeous, thanks for sharing :)

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Great fun with the swimming. I did that with both my boys from babyhood and loved it. And Mazel Tov again on the 20K!

@MissAnthrope Welcome! Read back a bit to get of feel of this thread. It’s a unique and lovely place within Fluther.

I’m a little down this week, but will recover I’m sure.

My family is getting deeper into the process of possibly transitioning from home schooling into institutional schooling and I am feeling the growing pains of that. <Heart squeezing sigh.>

My school program director has said there may be some partial scholarship money available to me. This week I need to finish a bunch of paper work in order to find out.

@liminal I do think there is a great benefit to kids going out to school at a certain point and I know you are looking into good options, but change is a bitch, ain’t it?

@liminal Change is tough, as @janbb says. Everyday it will get a little bit easier though, have patience. Good luck with the paper work, hope it proves fruitful.

@janbb Sorry to hear you’re down. You always seem so full of positive energy! Hope things pick up for you again soon. (Some tea?)

The week and my mood have improved a great deal today. Thanks for the tea!

Glad to hear it. Any time!

I’m having a bad week, exercise, diet, no results! And I feel so tired. We’ve been stuck inside in alberta because of snow storms and wind warnings. I have been sewing for my daughter and all my tulips are up, ready to bloom if the sun ever comes back out. I do admire all the creative and intelligent things you guys have been doing!

@faye It’s true that sometimes I’m just not feeling the benefits of exercise, and that’s disheartening. But even with no concrete results, exercise and diet are still good things to be doing for your general health and well-being!

Sewing sounds like a creative thing to be doing, too :) Keep holding on for those tulips, sunshine can’t be far away.

Our tulips are up also. Including Meg’s cherished “black tulips”. (Sorry I can’t get the picture to upload; I’m an idiot studying to be a moron as far as computers are concerned.)

Progress on the domestic scene. My “housemates” have agreed to move into the cottage until we finish building their new house. Some blessed peace and quiet. They can entertain and use the “playroom” here as long as I get advance warning (so I can go hide somewhere).

@stranger_in_a_strange_land you are building a house?

@liminal It’s a long story, but I’m doing a “swap” to get full ownership of my house back. In exchange for a plot of land and a smaller house, my late wife’s girlfriend will sign over her share of the house that she inherited. We’re still friends, but with Meg gone we can’t live under the same roof. Meg and I never forsaw this when we wrote our wills. This seems to be the best practical solution. I’m finalizing the plans now for her approval.

@stranger_in_a_strange_land That makes sense. Enjoy having some peace and quiet!

Sunday, May 2

Recording is done! Shooting for a Monday release!!!!!!!!!!

@JeanPaulSartre Mazel Tov! Great work.

@JeanPaulSartre Very exciting! I do a dance for you!

Hey guys – I’ve been feeling kind of stagnant lately. My weight loss is going nowhere but that’s because I’m now following my calorie counts each day so I know what’s wrong and why it’s not working. I really (yet again) need to get back on train starting tomorrow. Yesterday, I was at Tango and I felt completely out of it, completely off and left early – have no idea why, it was a different energy. I’ve been feeling emotional and drained, tired and anxious. There are a lot of things coming up in May, June and July to be excited about though. Anyway, sorry for the downer update.

I’m still pretty down too, if your misery wants any company!

@janbb My misery wants sleep and easy solutions but I hear ya…

Thought hugs for both of you and I hope some nurturing things lie ahead for you.

I have a final paper due tomorrow night. I don’t want to finish it, sigh. But, it is easy and shouldn’t take much energy once I get going.

It is also my goal to get and give at least two massages this week.

@liminal Ooh – I’ll take one.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir @janbb That’s what we’re here for. ((hugs))

@liminal I fear that my shoulder needs surgery, not massage. :^(

Hi guys! I have 3 midterms this week, two on Friday. I also start my part time job this week (no tutoring last week because of standardized testing). I am also officially at the half-way point through the spring term. The heat, as they say, is on.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir do you need a workout partner?

@holden – no, the working out is okay, I do well with that – I just have to stay on track with the calories per day but thank you!

It’s ready!!! http://alexfloor.bandcamp.com/

I accomplished something meaningful to me!
I got caught up on this thread after six weeks of failing to keep current.

That banjo is still out of the closet but I guess I am not that motivated to work with it or I would have done so.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I am relieved that the biopsy and HIV results were both good news.

@Jeruba I’m sorry for all your foot problems but at least you now know what is wrong, what might have caused it and how to care for it.

@Holden I was really concerned about the problems in your relationship and I really hope you can resolve any future problems in a positive and constructive manner so both of you experience less pain.

@dpworkin I value your participation in fluther and hope you will decide to stay among us.

I have not failed to take note of those of you continuing to work on your educations. I applaud you continuing efforts.

I support all of you trying to get your weight under control. I know how tough it can be.

You artists and musicians inspire me.

Throughout my life, I have always gotten great satisfaction from helping others accomplish their goals and find solutions for problems that they feel hold them back from living their life to the fullest and deriving the satisfaction that comes from doing that.

My new goal is to find better ways to do those things. My profile directs people on how to get additional help if they should need it.

I will continue to assemble inspirational and thought provoking materials.
I plan to provide links to assist people with finding some of the best links related to some of the more common problems that people face.

For people who desire greater confidentiality when they seek help for serious problems that cause them to feel uneasy to ask for help in even a quasi anonymous multi-person forum, the classroom application I’m using from nicenet.org allow people much greater privacy.

I’m not practising therapy on the Internet, I’m just offering support for people trying to better understand their problems and I’m offering suggestions on what kind of help and resources to look for. An experienced empathetic listener can empower people with troubles or concerns to move forward towards better solutions. That’s how I’d like to help.

This goal seems more meaningful to me and holds the promising of benefiting more people. My disability limits the ways I can help others in ways I used to do but I think I’ve found a way to offer help in other ways my training and experience prepare me.

Of course it is still important to me to participate in fluther and one activity does not preclude the other.

I will really try to stay current with this thread.

GA @Dr_Lawrence

@Dr_Lawrence That sounds like a wonderful plan. I hope it goes well.
@holden This sounds like a ridiculous week. Good luck with your tests!
@JeanPaulSartre Congratulations. I can’t wait to listen to it.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir it’s okay to have grumpy posts. I hope your week picks up a bit.

THE PROM IS OVER! Sorry for shouting, but I am so happy. It all worked out, there were no major problems (except for a minor technical glitch with the DJ), nice kids won king and queen, nobody spiked the punch, and it’s done! Now to catch up on work. Our seniors take their finals next week, and I’m a smidge behind on grading.

@zephyr826 Great news on the prom!

A few of the things that were getting me down seem to be getting resolved so I am feeling better. The semester is just about over and I am starting to think about goals and fun things to do in the summer. Painting? Losing weight? I’ll definitely be doing course prep for the Fall. Will post as ideas evolve.

I am excited about Alex’s CD and I took a day off to be here for the occasion. Of course my mother had to ruin my day because I found out that despite, obviously, being told not to give my oldest eggs and milk and given an appropriate diet as a substitute…she still gives it to him and lies about it…I almost killed her…she will pay

@Simone_De_Beauvoir & @JeanPaulSartre I plan to sti down and listen to the album a bit alter when I have more time. Mazel Tov (from me and dp in absentia)!

@JeanPaulSartre and @Simone_De_Beauvoir it’s ready!!! How wonderful! I am looking forward to listening. Enjoy celebrating!!!!

(Just reread what I wrote – gee, dyslexic much?)

@JeanPaulSartre Listening to your album now. It’s very melodic, moody and intriguing. Good on ya, mate!

Thanks @zephyr826, @janbb and @liminal!

This week, I managed to do three Italian lessons and I practiced the flute for about an hour and a half.

I just finished Unit 2, Lesson 3 of Italian and it’s finally getting gradually more challenging. I’m using it to supplement the very basic Italian I’ve learned already (man, I can order pastry and cappucinos like a pro). ;)

The flute, I’m pretty excited about. I did technical work for almost an hour and the time just flew. Once I realized I’d already practiced for an hour, I let myself get onto the fun stuff and played a few songs out of my Garibaldi Thirty Easy and Progressive Studies for Flute, though I find Mr. Garibaldi’s definition of “easy” to be suspect, particularly with 3rd octave notes in the second song.

I figured out the 3rd octave note fingerings and played that song to completion for the first time in at least 10 years. Yay! I even got the high F that is notoriously difficult, so maybe I’ve still got it. :D

@MissAnthrope it is one of my eventual goals to learn how to play an instrument, as well. That’s exciting!

Tomorrow is the six month anniversary of Meghans death. Goal: spend the day at the gravesite tending the flower bed including her beloved black tulips. I’ll also be consuming mass quantities of single-malt scotch and reading some of her favorite poetry.

@stranger_in_a_strange_land would you please share a poem with us? I would like to join you in reading it tomorrow.

hugs to you @stranger_in_a_strange_land.

@stranger_in_a_strange_land this will be a hard day, but we’re with you here.

Hoping it will be a loving, maybe cathartic day for you. @stranger

You’re not alone @stranger_in_a_strange_land; we are here for you.

@stranger_in_a_strange_land I hope you won’t be drinking alone.

“Risk” – Anais Nin

And then the day came,
when the risk
to remain tight
in a bud
was more painful
than the risk it took
to Blossom.

At least the Bruins won last night, big time; oh my aching head!

Sending you hugs, @stranger_in_a_strange_land – we’ll all be thinking you today.

A beautiful poem, @stranger_in_a_strange_land. Hoping it’s a day of healing for you.

@stranger_in_a_strange_land I wish you enough Tylenol and water to ease the hangover, and enough fortitude to ease the rest. We’ll be thinking of you today! And now that my Coyotes are finished, I’ll be rooting for your Bruins.

Thanks all. Back to being a farmer now.

Got the results of my linear analysis test back today – 61%. I think I should have gotten a higher score than that, though. Tomorrow is another big test for me in physics, so I am feeling very discouraged. :(

@holden Head up, it’s only a single test. Attitude is so important going into exams. I’m confident in you. :^)

@stranger_in_a_strange_land thanks! I just took home my first check as a tutor, $67.50 for one week, and I feel better already. How’s that for a confidence boost?

Well, I finally hit 5k! It took me long enough more than a year but I still feel accomplished for reaching it! (:

@mangeons woo hoo!

I have not met my goals sigh but there’s always tomorrow.

@faye Whaddaya mean – you got to 10K!

@mangeons Mazel Tov to you too!

How did I miss these threads? I’ve been here for like forever.

Well, as you can all probably tell… I’ve been pretty busy with the Fluther changes! I’m working on the newsletter, and hope to have it out on Monday.

@RedPowerLady This a very lovely and special thread. Glad to have you here!

@RedPowerLady Welcome. We’re happy to have you.
@augustlan you’re doing fine. The fluther changes seem to be going relatively smoothly, and I’m sure it will all work out.
@faye and @mangeons congrats on your lurve milestones.

I’m bailing out of here. The divisiveness of these new changes are too much, even though I’m guilty of contributing to it. I just don’t feel welcome any longer.

@stranger_in_a_strange_land I really think we all have to breathe and wait a couple of days before making any rash decisions. And I can’t believe I’m the one saying this.

@stranger_in_a_strange_land I really do think it will work and settle down fine. If the site has meaning for you, I would suggest you not bail out but that’s, of course, your choice. I’m one of the biggest jokers around, but I find I am thusfar able to restrain myself on the General questions and save it for Social (and Meta.)

++++++++++++++++++++++ Sunday, May 9th ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Doing the last of my studying for the last of my final exams this cold, windy Sunday, and this coming Wednesday I shall be The Graduate! (I know, Plastics.)

Sunday, May 8

I think our friend @dpworkin is back but there are still some bugs in the system. He should have his voice as well as his picture back soon. Welcome back, kiddo!

As I did elsewhere, I wish all the mothers, including English ones @lynneblundell, a Happy Mother’s Day! Enjoy your kiddiddles everyone.

I am in the process of winding down from a semester of work – Tuesday is my last day of work for nearly three months. I am planning some summer travel and also looking into setting some goals so I don’t just fritter or Fluther the summer away. I will definitely be walking and going to the gym even more regularly; hoping as always to lose some weight but have been feeling more fit this year already. I’ve got some good non-fiction books to study, including one on painting techniques of the Impressionists and one on the male brain. I will be doing course prep for the Fall and I am hoping to start painting again.
Will be reporting in.

I am now on the other side of this hump that was stomach flu/poisoning. I had a pretty bad week physically and couldn’t do yoga classes – I mean I did them but had to sit out many of the postures and was feeling embarrassed and weak and didn’t know what was wrong with me. Alexey and I swam for the second time this week and Alex came to watch. He’s doing so well, it’s amazing. My kids are good at everything they do and I can’t stop telling them how proud I always am of them!

In other news, because (and this I mentioned some time above) my mother betrayed my trust (for the umpteenth time) and was continuing to give milk and eggs (and god knows what else of the things he wasn’t supposed to have) to Alexey I reached some kind of a threshold with all of our years of tension. Because I reached this threshold I was finally able to consider moving out with Alex and the kids (something I always dreamed about but couldn’t get past my guilt-tripping mother’s voice in my head) and I just started looking at apartments and thinking about our budget once Alex goes to work and Ark goes to pre-school. On Monday, I just called her and said that we’re moving out and she went hysterical for a moment but then dealt with it because she just had to. Flutherites helped me with this move after I asked this q. Besides, as a family (and this is all about serendipity) we haven’t been able to afford our 3 family home after my father passed in September and any attempts (and boy have there been many) at re-financing have failed. She wanted to hang on to this home so we keep it but this isn’t the neighborhood we see ourselves in and we want to live in Park Slope instead, the best neighborhood in Brooklyn for progressive parents.

I have hope now and am extremely happy because I don’t feel quite as trapped. I know it’ll all be hard and we’ll have to pay a LOT more money and have a LOT less time w/o the kids but we’ll also have less anxiety and it’ll be our own thing and we’ll be in an area where at least there are vegetarian restaurants and people are aware of what the hell is going on in the world. So overall this has been a breakthrough week for us.

In other news, I figured out the timeline for testing Alexey for the gifted and talented programs when he goes into Kindergarten once he’s 5 (in a year). The process is long and as complex as mine will be for the PhD program, lol. I also narrowed down the schools that I want him to attend necessitating our move to be next Spring so that if he doesn’t test in the 99th percentile, he’ll still be zoned for the good schools in the neighborhoods.

[mod says] My error, corrected. @dpworkin‘s post restored. Sorry!

It’s been a bad last couple of days but I again resolve to get up, dressed, and do more each day even if it’s quiet thinking on the couch! I have sewing to do, flowers coming in the mail, many tomatoes ready to plant and if it ever gets above 10 above celsius maybe i’d sit outside.

Hey, @faye, what’s 10c in real money?

Roughly about 40, I believe.

Thanks, @faye.

You know we know-it-alls have to stick our 2 or 10c in wherever we can.

@dpworkin @janbb You know I grew up with the ‘real’ temps and measurements but I’m being brainwashed by C and meter stuff. I think you’ll finally have to one day, too. 10 degrees is a nice early spring day but not May 8— as a matter of fact it’s only 6 degrees which is 42. Welcome back dpworkin- you might have a fight on your hands for ‘grumpy old man’ now!

whatever could you mean by that?

I’m going to start another iteration of this thread if that’s OK with you guys. It’s taking forever to load for me.

Yes, it’s been just waiting for you to do.

Well I made one, but it fell into a black hole. First one who finds it, post a link here.

@dpworkin I checked your account, and the new thread never posted anywhere. :(
Do you want to try again?

Oh, and I did such a nice job, too.

I think I should let @Jeruba take care of it. Perhaps it didn’t post because of my presumption.

Ha! I’ll send her a PM.

Welcome back @dpworkin . Happy Mothers Day to all. I got over my “angry” before my finger found the delete button. Sorry about the drama. I had misunderstood the “new rules” re: off-topic in the General section (thought that I could continue “whispering”); the more I thought about it, the angrier I got, all over a silly misunderstanding.I went out and blasted a few targets to vent off the excess emotions. I made my comments and suggestions through the proper channels; now I’ll shut the hell up about it.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Hope you’re feeling much better now.
@JeanPaulSartre Heard your album. Awesome!

I’ve spent the last week plowing and planting. This old tractor has about reached the end of its useful life (1948 John Deere Model B), belongs in a museum instead of a bean field.

Spoke to my thesis adviser. My proposed change to the thesis structure is tentatively approved. I also found out that I don’t have to re-take my comprehensives, my 1977 pass is still valid; just have to take three extra courses.

Genevive got her building permit in less than a week, it’s got to be some kind of record. It’s the only house being built in the county right now. They should have their new house ready to move in by August. The well driller and septic installer will start next week. I’ll be doing the blasting for the footings myself (got my state license last year).

My niece Jacqueline just learned that she’s to be valedictorian at her graduation. She only has 6 weeks to write her speech. I’m getting her a new car as a graduation present (shhhhh!!).

Big ((hugs)) for all !

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