General Question

TheOnlyException's avatar

Have you ever been kicked out by your parents/carers?

Asked by TheOnlyException (2174 points ) March 31st, 2010

If so, how old were you? How long for? Where did you go? And why?
Just wanna see how widespread this er.. ‘phenomenon’ is
Personally I was kicked out back in December for messing up grades, out of the house for 2 nights solid, slept rough for a night, spent the rest of the time at a friends..

that learnt me..

0_o

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48 Answers

JeffVader's avatar

No, not exactly. Although, in the first term of my first year at University, my mum did move house to somewhere I couldn’t afford to get to….

Trillian's avatar

NO. I left home when I was 16. Ran away, I guess you could call it. I never went back.

TheOnlyException's avatar

@JeffVader HAHAHA no way, nice subtle way of doing it i suppose ;)

Sophief's avatar

Disowned, but not kicked out. Good job I lived with my mum.

JeffVader's avatar

@TheOnlyException Hah, well it certainly worked… I never went back at any rate.

Coloma's avatar

I was never kicked out..but..I did kick my daughter out of my car and leave her on the roadside ( she had her cell phone to call her dad or a friend )

It was about respect and boundary setting…she got pissed off at me for missing a turn to a place she wanted to have lunch and got extremley bitchy and verbally agressive, accusing me of intentionally not stopping and then punched the dash of my car in her tantrum.

That was it!

Pulled over and told her to get out…it was a 102 degree afternoon….oh well…! lol

Things came around eventually, but it was a long couple years bewteen 16 and 18 or so before she finally understood that I meant business when she started her hystrionic tirades. Now at 22 we are finally in the ‘friends’ zone…mutual enjoyment and respect of each other.

OMG…girls….girls are soooo difficult during those years!

TheOnlyException's avatar

@JeffVader Nice parenting skills though. Props to your mother! :) hehehe

TheOnlyException's avatar

@Coloma We are, god, i think the mothers get it a lot harder. I got kicked out of a car, but i was only 2 mins walk away from school at the time.. no big deal, just started yelling about all the traffic and my dad got kinda fed up 0_o

filmfann's avatar

I was never kicked out of my parents house, but I did kick my step daughter out (she had a mobile drug lab in my garage).

TheOnlyException's avatar

@filmfann now see, that would be a decent reason to kick a kid out.
also. woah. :-O

Sophief's avatar

@filmfann Did you have right ti kick out your step daughter?

JeffVader's avatar

@TheOnlyException Oh yeh, she’s a peach alright!

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Never but I did spend all of my years with them planning on how quickly I could get away from them. Great success!

Seek's avatar

I was 20 when I left home. I was the only one in the house with a steady, full time job, and I was also responsible for all the housekeeping.

I got into a fight with my parents, and they said “if you don’t start paying rent, we’ll make you move out”. The next day I made arrangements with a workmate who happened to be looking for a roomie.

As soon as I told them I was going, they started in on “You’re abandoning your family! guilt trips and mind games. I just kept packing, and never looked back.

TheOnlyException's avatar

@JeffVader they always are.. rolls eyes

JesusWasAJewbot's avatar

When i was 15 i wasnt doing the right thing, i lived in Harlem, NY…2nd year in high school my mom insisted that i move from NYC to Miami, FL to live with my dad.

Then when i was around 18 my dad and i had rough times living together, at one point he said “Im renting out the house we’re in now at the end of April, dont know where youre going”. So i moved to Orlando.

So yes, it happened to me 2x, by each parent.

malevolentbutticklish's avatar

I have never been kicked out.

Just_Justine's avatar

My parents had issues, so they chucked me out when I was 17. I never went back and I never asked them for another thing. I guess that is why I am a tough ass.

filmfann's avatar

@Dibley I have to right to kick anyone out of my house, except my wife. She understood that if the police found that lab in our garage, they could legally seize our house in California.

TheOnlyException's avatar

@filmfann You were well within your rights to kick her out considering what she was doing 0_o

@JesusWasAJewbot That’s really harsh what happened, I really shouldn’t complain as much as I do 0_o sorry that happened.

phillis's avatar

I call it running away, but there must be a more fitting phrase for it. Self preservation, perhaps? At any rate, I left my mother halfway through my ninth year and never returned. Took my damn dog with me because it ripped me up inside, seeing my animals tortured.

In my mid-20’s I was disowned by my family for dating a black man. By the time I married a Mexican 17 years later, I had my own house to which they were not invited. What comes around, goes around.

Just_Justine's avatar

@phillis good for you :) that is why you are so wise now.

phillis's avatar

—@Just_Justine Thank you :)

tinyfaery's avatar

Yes. Several times. I think between the ages of 13 and 15 I might have spent 7 or 8 months at home. I got kicked-out for good at 17.

DominicX's avatar

No, I think that is one of the worst things a parent can do to a kid and is completely unhelpful and idiotic. One of my closest friends was kicked out of his house, though, for doing marijuana (and he got in a fight with his parents after that). He ended up living with another one of my friends for a few days.

TheOnlyException's avatar

@DominicX I agree completely. How someone can do that to their own child, I don’t understand. It’s what made me so angry. Also the fact that my school was more concerned for my welfare in those two days than my parents ever were, not even one bloody phone call. You have to be pretty desperate to deal with your own child like that. Thanks for your answer.

shego's avatar

Yes, I got kicked out of my moms house, when I was 17, because I told her that I wasn’t ready to go to college. I was already taking college classes for school, but I wasn’t ready to take a full schedule, because my mom wanted to choose my schedule. So I wasn’t allowed back in her house to stay, just to visit.

TheOnlyException's avatar

@shego Yeah, more often than not, it is academic problems that cause them to snap. The only thing i can tell myself is that i will never EVER treat any kids of my own like that, i will guide them to make their own decisions so that they will be happy, but safe.

JesusWasAJewbot's avatar

@TheOnlyException Life happened i guess. With my mother it was more of a concern for what i was doing with my life at 15, i used to be mad at her about it but i thank her now. If i didnt move out of NYC who knows where i would have ended up. I recently moved back at age 22 and sadly most of my friends have nothing to show for their lives but a GED and “street credibility”.

With my father – its hard i guess being a lawyer, ex military and raising a crazy teenager who just moved to a quiet part of Miami from a loud nuts part of New York City. In NYC i was cutting school a lot, getting into fights, doing things i shouldnt have been with the wrong people. My dad was determined that i wouldnt do it in Miami yet i saw it otherwise. We butted heads a lot, he had a bad tempter where it seemed like he would hold everything in then just burst out on me. It led to a lot of things that still effect me to this day, again im glad he told me to leave or else who knows if i would have harmed myself or something.

Parents are parents, no matter how lousy you think youres are we have all gotten nagged or whateverm luckily. I feel really bad for my friends who’s parents really dont give a shit about them and let them run wild doing as they please, they will grow up struggling to learn direction and important things that my parents instilled in me with tough love.

Hope my little story helped some.

TheOnlyException's avatar

@JesusWasAJewbot reading that there are so many comparisons with my life. My parents are intent on me getting into medicine even though I couldn’t care less, i have the grades but I’d rather slack off and get pissed in a park with friends and have a good time than think about my future. it is just difficult sometimes. even though i hate the way they suffocate me sometimes, it is the only thing keeping me on track, no matter how painful. when they kicked me out it kind of hit home what life would be like without their guidance, sleeping rough in a bus shelter, lord. i was lucky i still had a home to go to.
its nice to know that someone else sees it like i do, and that im not the only one with crazyass parents who mean well, really.

:)

JesusWasAJewbot's avatar

@TheOnlyException Yeah, im not sure how old you are but ill assume a teenager. At that age things were hard for me too, a lot of my acting out was my want to fit in and someone to hear me out. I got picked on sometimes so i felt i had to fight my way out of things. Hanging out with my friends (luckily i hadnt started smoking or drinking at that age) and doing crazy things to get attention. Id cut school every Friday with them to play video games or walk around. Now it all hits me things i missed out on in school.

I went to 3 high schools in 4 years and still managed to graduate a year early, started college that summer and now work as head of IT for a financial training center in New York City. All because of my parents pushing me and pushing me, even when they found out i smoked pot or drank a lot they still pushed me and told me things i didnt want to hear, but now its like it all makes sense.

TheOnlyException's avatar

@JesusWasAJewbot You are lucky you are where you are, without your parents i doubt you’d be as well off as you are today. I’m glad you did so well :)

What you just described yourself as being at my age, sort of sums up how i am now, i skip school quite a bit, i smoke sometimes (not always something legal either..) i drink… fairly often.
and although i get all the right grades, its from scraping together work at the absolute last moment (hence it is confusing for my parents when in my report i get low effort and high achievement ahaha), sometimes i feel smug about it like i am beating the shit out of my peers who work so hard 24/7 academically and i slack off so much and do whatever the hell i want, but other times i feel ashamed of myself, and not really worth a lot of respect and i wonder how long i can keep this up for before i really end up in trouble. its kind of bad for my self-esteem. i feel almost guilty.
i feel lucky i have friends and family prepared to put up with my shit. i’ve never really been picked on, that sucks it happened to you and must have made things so much harder, im sorry.
i’ll probably be telling this to some other kid on a site like this 5 or 6 years from now having made it, hopefully :)
thank you for your answer

JesusWasAJewbot's avatar

@TheOnlyException Lol always gotta pay it forward. The guilt comes from the lack of follow through probably. You know you should be doing something, you feel it in youre gut but you blow it off anyway…then the consequences come and you being to freak out, “Oh shit i should have just done it”. It happens, but once youre out of high school that shit will get you real quick because after the baby sitting (grades K-12) no one is gonna care if you show up, what you hand in and who youre with. All they will want is results.

Life has a nice way of kicking you in the balls and telling you shape up.

TheOnlyException's avatar

@JesusWasAJewbot That is so true. I have been told by countless teachers that eventually no one is gonna bother with me if I dont do the work, I.E. they aren’t gonna chase after me for it. either i do it or i dont. Im gonna cross that bridge when i come to it.. ahahah procrastination oh really?
nah i find myself going to school now just to hang out with friends and flirt with every male teacher in sight, if MAYBE i get some work done in between, then thats good. if i dont. i dont.
but did you ever have that ONE friend in almost all your classes who so overzealous about their work getting it done on time, teacher’s pet etc. who you simply wanted to punch in the face, especially when they tried to ‘help’ you with your work, you loved them for it and knew they were trying to help, but i dont know, its sort of a mix of jealousy, resentment and denial.
so infuriating! haha :P

JesusWasAJewbot's avatar

@TheOnlyException Or really knowing that they one day will succeed more then you lol?

TheOnlyException's avatar

@JesusWasAJewbot Not on my watch! ahahah i certainly wouldn’t be surprised, and i wouldnt resent them for it then. maybe myself a little, but id respect them.

JesusWasAJewbot's avatar

@TheOnlyException Yep time to start doing that school work, be the brainiac!

TheOnlyException's avatar

@JesusWasAJewbot yeah, no i know :) i need to stop thinking everything is just going to.. come. i need to start making it happen right? :)

JesusWasAJewbot's avatar

@TheOnlyException I always think about it as “No one else will look out for number 1 one but you”. You are youre biggest asset, biggest hype man and motivator. My new years resolution was pulled straight from a Seinfeld episode when George started doing everything opposite, ive been trying to do it myself and its been working quite well.

TheOnlyException's avatar

@JesusWasAJewbot never underestimate sitcoms eh! Thats a good line, im definitely gonna keep it in mind, sometimes i think about and how much i can do by myself and where i could be in a matter of years depending on the choices that I and no one else make for me and to be honest it frightens me a little. i just dont trust myself with.. myself 0_o i dont think i ever will..

Symbeline's avatar

I was kicked out of the group home I was staying in a few weeks after turning 18. I was warned that at that age you need to start looking after yourself and that if there’s nowhere else to go the group homes can’t keep you, so you have to find a job, or apply on welfare in the meantime and I did nothing haha. They gave me a few weeks but eventually said fuck it, gtfo lol.

wundayatta's avatar

It was the middle of the Carter recession. I’d graduated from college but there was not a job in sight. I sent out resume after resume, and didn’t hear back from a one of them. I was living in my parents house, and was severely depressed because my girlfriend of two years had dumped me when I graduated, and because I hated living with my parents and because I had no job prospects.

My parents thought I wasn’t doing anything to look for a job, and I certainly was doing less and less. One night, my father started yelling at me for being lazy and not getting out of the house. I guess he was working himself up, because at the end, he pointed to the door, and screamed “Get out!”

“Now?”

“Now!”

So, with the clothes I was wearing, I left the house, stumbled down the hill through the woods, running into tree branch after tree branch. Finally, I ended up on a road. I don’t remember what I did then. I think I may have gone to spend the night at a friend’s house.

I never really trusted my parents after that. Their tactic may have worked, but it was too harsh. I vowed that I would never turn away a friend or family member if they needed a place.

My siblings said they learned a very important lesson from my example. Don’t go home again! After my brother graduated from college, he actually did live with me for a month—maybe more before he found a place of his own. My sister found a job teaching English in Japan, and hasn’t been home since. That was more than thirty years ago.

Blondesjon's avatar

I got kicked out at 15.

I worked (to pay the $75 a month rent on my efficiency above Mel’s Market), stayed in and finished high school, and now I take that emotional baggage out on each and every person who has the misfortune of loving me. Thank God for the booze and the numbing blackness that it brings.

TheOnlyException's avatar

@anwundayattaimen “I never really trusted my parents after that. Their tactic may have worked, but it was too harsh. I vowed that I would never turn away a friend or family member if they needed a place.”

I hear you.

kickedouttwice's avatar

When i was 14, my mom sent me to live with my dad because she said i had a bad attitude, and i wasnt getting good enough grades. (d’s, never gotten an f). 2 years later i moved back with my mom, and now a year of living with my mom i am 17 and i got D’s on my report card. She is saying that i dont try hard enough so why should she care about what happens to me. I dont understand her point of view, i have more credits than i need to graduate, and i only have 1 year left of school. i dont see how a mom can just get rid of her kid when theyre getting d’s. I have never failed a class.

wundayatta's avatar

@kickedouttwice You don’t write like a D student. Are you hiding your intelligence for some reason? Or getting Ds to spite your parents, or because you’re angry about how you’ve been treated (like a ping pong ball)?

I’d suggest that if you really want to spite your parents, get good grades and show them how much better than them you are.

KittenWhoLovesrats1's avatar

uhh ): i just got 13 and my mom kicked me out of home and im 26 now lived 7 years in the streets alone sold gum and energy drinks for an liveing

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