General Question

Ludy's avatar

How do I politely tell someone they cannot borrow an item?

Asked by Ludy (1499 points ) April 3rd, 2010

He is asking to borrow my fiance’s head shaver, and I don’t mind if he does borrow it, but I’ve discoverd recently he’s got a skin infection, should we borrow the shaver? or how do we say no, whithout making him feel bad? It seems he doesn’t get the hint we don’t want to.

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15 Answers

prolificus's avatar

Shavers of any kind should never ever be shared. It doesn’t matter if infections are known or unknown. The risk of spreading blood-borne pathogens is too great. Simply tell your family member that you don’t believe it is sanitary to share shavers. Advise him to buy his own. Throw out and replace the shavers that have already been shared.

DarkScribe's avatar

You tell the truth, say that as he has an infection you don’t feel comfortable about it. There are no easy ways to say things on some occasions – at least with the truth it won’t seem like meanness.

rahm_sahriv's avatar

Simple. Just say no. There are disinfectants to clean clippers, but I would not mess around with a skin infection. Tell your family member that your fiance does not allow anyone else to use his set of clippers if you don’t want to explain why.

loser's avatar

Tell him you have a skin infection.

Pandora's avatar

If your fiance wasn’t around when you said yes, you can tell him that your fiance feels it would be like sharing razor blade. He view the shaver as something not to be shared.
If he was there and both of you said yes then tell him that you found out your fiance uses it to trim more private areas and you feel it would be unsanitary to share.
If none of those work for you than tell the truth and that you feel it would be unsanitary to share while he has his skin infection. If he’s real friend he will understand.

Ludy's avatar

Now this is the little detail, I mis explain myself, it is his brother in law, as I am mexican we refer to our partners in laws as ours.

Buttonstc's avatar

It really doesn’t matter what the relationship.

The plain fact is that NO ONE should ever share razors, according to the CDC. The fact that some people ignore that and do anyway doesn’t change anything.

But simply stating that you’re not comfortable lending it out to ANYONE should be sufficient. If he gets offended, it’s HIS problem. You have every right to decline something you are not comfortable with. Period. End of sentence.

It’s called being assertive. It’s a skill which can be learned with practice. It will come in handy many more times in the future.

The plain fact is that you are never obligated to do anything with which you are uncomfortable. You don’t owe anybody more explanation than that.

If necessary, stand in front of a mirror and practice saying “I’m just not comfortable doing that” until it becomes easy to say. Then say it.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

This really isn’t so difficult. Have the person borrowing the clippers purchase his own set of combs for the clippers, and keep them afterward. You lend the clipper body itself, but not your fiance’s combs.

Since the clippers (the blades themselves) never touch the skin, there’s no disinfection needed.

Pretty_Lilly's avatar

Just simply inform him that you have a policy not to lend out any personal item or just make up a story :Tell him your fiance got pissed at you and smashed it while throwing a tantrum !

Adagio's avatar

Kindly and straightforwardly but without apology or explanation, a simple no.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

First understand that You don’t Make him feel bad. It is his choice to feel bad or not. Just live your life and set good examples every chance you get. In this situation, a good example would be to say, “You have a skin infection. You need your own razor. I’d be glad to help you choose one”.

mammal's avatar

let him borrow it and buy a new one, problem solved.

Rangie's avatar

I agree with realeyesrealizereallies, Be honest, you can be kind and honest at the same time. Don’t betray yourself with a lie to protect his feelings. They will probably get hurt no matter what you say. “That is a personal item, like a toothbrush, and I am not comfortable sharing it” period. He either gets it or he doesn’t. If he doesn’t, then I wouldn’t worry too much about hurting his feelings.

thriftymaid's avatar

I’d rather not.

Silhouette's avatar

Don’t hint. Say what you mean, “No, we don’t loan out our personal grooming items.”

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