Can I adopt a child as my son without marrying his mother?

If the biological parents agree, and the state doesn’t think you’d be unable to parent effectively, why not?

Perhaps you can find a more parental avatar before Social Services checks you out?

Brad Pitt did it. They aren’t married. So yes, you can.

I don’t know how the law works in New York, but in Colorado, my uncle did just that. He was engaged and he adopted his fiancee’s son. If the boy’s father is still alive, however, he would have to legally give up parental rights.

My first husband (father of my children) had a son born after we were divorced. He was dating a woman who told him she was infertile. Surprise! After several years of bitterness, he adopted the little boy, and it worked out very well.

It also gave my daughter a very nice younger half-brother

Yes, all you have to do is file a petition form with the court, assuming that the natural parents both agree. I suggest getting legal aid to help you out.

Having having watched a rather vicious custody battle, I would advice the mother of the child that if you adopt, and then break up, you could take her child from her 50% of the time—and in fact it would be likely—it could be supported by the courts, and she might have to spend thousands to keep her own child. And even having paid that, she could lose.

Here’s the scenario:

The father was deported to a foreign country years ago after getting into trouble with the law. He’s not allowed to reenter the US. The mother has tried to get his rights relinquished but isn’t able to locate him. BTW, I thank you for your insights, however…

@gailcalled: I need a parental avatar? I don’t live on the internet, certainly don’t live on Fluther and for your information, if you can prove that my innocent blue leaf is anything less than “parental,” then you might actually have a valid point.

@BoyWonder: You’re a free agent.