General Question

Trustinglife's avatar

Why don't women check out men, the way men check out women?

Asked by Trustinglife (6574 points ) April 6th, 2010 from iPhone

Or do they, but it’s just much more subtle? I mean, you’re curious, aren’t you, ladies? This has always baffled me.

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60 Answers

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Um, they do! I will say, however, that it is more acceptable (seems to me) for men to do this because they feel they’re entitled to this (socialized that way).

bob_'s avatar

I think we men are more “visual” than women (on average). Also, a lot less subtle.

Axemusica's avatar

They do. Men are just more prone to stare. While women catch a glimpse and let the imagination fly.

slick44's avatar

Oh we do my friend, we do!

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

hahah thats so not truexD! me and my friends always check out guys:)

IBERnineD's avatar

Who says we don’t? I had a guy from one of my classes come over to study a while ago. When he left, he just closed the door and the first thing that came out of my mouth was, “Um, did anyone just see the ass on what just walked out of that door?”

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Some do.
I prefer to be alittle more subtle:)

JLeslie's avatar

I think because women in general have different priorities than men typically. Men are thinking about sex, and if he likes her enough to keep going out great. Women are thinking, is this guy a good guy? The women I know who are overfocused on how a guy looks and the whole physical part seem to frequently wind up with assholes. Don’t get me wrong, women do initially check out a guy, look for some physical attraction, but I think it is less important. If a woman is just out to have fun, have at it. That woman might check out a man, like men check out women.

TheOnlyException's avatar

We do. We’ve just mastered the art of doing it with our mouths closed and still retaining the ability to blink throughout.

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

We do. In subtle ways. If we went about it in the same way men did, we’d make quite a name for ourselves.

wilma's avatar

We do check out men.
Most women may be more discreet than many men are.
I’ve been married for many years, and am not looking for someone new, but I’m also not dead or blind.
I notice the way a guy walks, his butt, his hair and eyes, and for sure his smile.
and sometimes if there is a visible package, must be careful checking that out though… oh gosh! Did I just say that?

Judi's avatar

In general, men are like dynamite, all it takes is a spark.
Women are more like a roaring fire. You start with a little kindling, tend it carefully, gently lay on the fuel and she will roar all night.

netgrrl's avatar

I think we’re usually more subtle but most of us definitely do.

OneMoreMinute's avatar

I think it was back in the caveman era where women learned that “Gawk Point and Drool” got us clubbed on our heads and dragged by the hair!

well, at least I learned it! ;-)

filmfann's avatar

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to point to my face, and tell a woman “Hey, I’m up here!”

okay, once

wilma's avatar

umm @filmfann that wasn’t me I swear! I don’t think I’ve ever been caught.

Nullo's avatar

This post reminds me of this article. A topless march through the streets of Portland, ME for some topless equality thing.
The funny part: the organizer was “enraged” at the large number of camera-wielding male onlookers and their interest. As if she expected some other kind of reaction.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

They do, they just by and large have better manners, so they don’t (as often) grope, whistle and leer… or they do it a lot more subtly.

bob_'s avatar

@CyanoticWasp Wait, you mean it’s bad manners to grope?

So that’s what I’ve been doing wrong…

davidbetterman's avatar

If the guy being checked out is a hottie, women whistle, stare, grope and drool just like guys.

CMaz's avatar

Men check out tits

Women check out wallets.

ucme's avatar

Behold the intoxicating beauty of the partially exposed cleavage.

josie's avatar

I think that they sort of do. But they do it with more finesse.

tedibear's avatar

We do. We just don’t feel the need to snap our heads so quickly that it requires a chiropractor appointment the next day. ;-)

tinyfaery's avatar

I think your theory has been debunked.

janbb's avatar

@trustinglife Just checked you out. Could you tell?

gemiwing's avatar

I chalk it up to multi-tasking. We can unlock the stroller, hike the diaper bag, adjust our pony tail (stupid lying no-pain elastic), control the toddler and we will still notice your ass.

dogkittycat's avatar

I check out guys, I just prefer for them not to notice, (they usually seem to get a big head)

Exhausted's avatar

I can’t speak for others, but I think men are turned on by what they see, women are turned on by what they think/feel. Men check women out when they like what they see, women express interest in a man when he stimulates her thoughts, or that’s how it is for me.

phillis's avatar

We do! I love the male body. My parts were made to match those parts. It’s this whole thing, you know. Nature, and all that….....:)

janbb's avatar

@dodkittycat Love the double entendre!

rahm_sahriv's avatar

I dunno about other women, but I check out guys and the occasional woman pretty much the same as guys check women out.

Trillian's avatar

Yeah right. Who says we don’t? I just think that most of us are already taking the next step. I can drool over Michael Wincott all day. He’s my wallpaper for Pete’s sake. But in the back of my mind, I think things like “But what type of person is he?” (If anybody wants to tell me he’s gay, I’ve already heard it so back off!) Anyway, I know women that are a lot less subtle and more brazen. A girl at the office used to say “I’d hit that.” all day long. I think that more women aren’t as concerned with getting nailed by the random person as they are with a relationship. I could be wrong.

thriftymaid's avatar

We are discreet. Obviously we are good at it.

aprilsimnel's avatar

Hey, @Trustinglife, long time!

Short answer? Because women aren’t men.

Also, guys say they want women to behave like that, I mean, there’s even one of those Noel Coward songs about “how come women can’t be more like men?” Well, when women actually behave that way, men freak out and then wonder why that particular woman isn’t very ladylike.

We do have to be more mindful of what sort of man a guy is and not just check out the goods. If we’re too brazen, a man thinks we want to get busy ASAP when we’re just… checking out the goods. You know? So women who just want to make an initial assessment have to be a little more circumspect. And we have our safety to consider. Whether men understand that or not, our safety is always in the back of our minds.

This is generalization; obviously, YMMV.

wilma's avatar

@aprilsimnel very well said. lurve!

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I’m a female and I do! Thing is, the men I’m attracted to don’t have boobs to fascinate distract me from their faces and I’m not a avid crotch watcher.

j0ey's avatar

Well actually…..Men’s vision is slightly different to women’s. They can see with higher acuity but only focus on small areas at a time, whereas women’s vision isn’t quite as precise but we can focus on much larger areas and take all the information in.

This is why men have to take the very obvious double take, up down, side to side, front to back stare. And women can do it all in one of two very subtle glances.

Men have to look at separate parts to check a girl out….women can see the whole “package” in one go.

Roby's avatar

They do…that’s why I never got a girl friend.

FutureMemory's avatar

@Judi In general, men are like dynamite, all it takes is a spark. Women are more like a roaring fire. You start with a little kindling, tend it carefully, gently lay on the fuel and she will roar all night.

Great answer.

@ucme Behold the intoxicating beauty of the partially exposed cleavage.

It just never gets old, right? Like x-mas morning every single day…

Judi's avatar

@FutureMemory, if it’s a great answer why no lurve?

Hexr's avatar

Sometimes men are full of shit and just exaggerate what they’re thinking because of social pressure. Conversely, women are encouraged to NOT show these feelings, whether they feel them or not. So, just because they don’t express it doesn’t mean it’s there, and vice versa.

doctiresquire's avatar

men are confused as to what is real and what is fake…true blonde ..body suit…make up…you know ..women can be quite deceitful…it takes longer to look them over

FutureMemory's avatar

@Judi I’m sloppy with lurve, didn’t even realize I missed it.

Chongalicious's avatar

I know I take myself a nice look ;)
Haha…ohgawd..I’m a man!

meagan's avatar

Today I was approached by a rather large jerk. He was far too into my “bubble” and proceeded to tell me what beautiful toes I have, and asked whether or not he could have a photo of my TOES.

I couldn’t ever seeing a woman having the “balls” to do something like this. I wish the freaky men would stay home and be freaky by themselves. This really shook me up today. Who really wants to be approached by a strange man!?

CyanoticWasp's avatar

@meagan yeah, I know exactly what you mean. This is one reason (of several) why I never approach women I don’t know to compliment them on any part of their appearance. I’m sure that most have heard it all by now, and in some weird and uncomfortable ways, as you pointed out.

So I look—always—and I always smile and maybe even nod, maybe wave to acknowledge: “Nice!” ... and I won’t hesitate to talk about ‘something else’, but unless I’m invited into that “bubble” you mentioned, I seldom say a word about appearance. But I always appreciate the effort y’all make to look so grand.

Trustinglife's avatar

Thank you so much for your answers, everyone.

This has really triggered a strong inquiry for me – especially today, while I was traveling, and noticing plenty of beautiful women in the airports. I got from your responses that I was being checked out as well, but much more subtly. And the question at play wasn’t just whether I look good or not, but what my character might be like, how big my wallet might be, and how I might make her feel.

Tomorrow, I have a first date – my first one as a result of an online dating site – and I’ll surely remember that she’ll probably be more interested in how she feels when we’re together than how I look.

And somehow, reading all of your responses brought me back to myself… regardless of whether I’m being checked out or not – what do I want in regard to women? How do I want to feel?

Excellent – thanks, y’all.

JeffVader's avatar

Well….. girls form the East Midlands certainly do. I think alot of it depends on how aware of your surroundings you are. The more aware, the more you noticed being checked-out.

mattbrowne's avatar

Evolutionary psychology.

nebule's avatar

I’m so with Matt Browne on this one…again

CodePinko's avatar

Says who?

wasky9's avatar

Women check out men. I feel we just hide it alot better by not noticably staring and drooling or overdoing it. However! Ha ha, I have been known to try to talk more to a guy I am interested in or make sure to smile each time I see him to give that subtle hint. I get caught staring sometimes but NOT so he sees it. And at times I have found myself fumbling for words when talking to them, making myself out to be a complete idiot, but it is all good. Lol

Jabe73's avatar

Even as a guy saying this, they do so always check guys out, more so than guys check girls out, you might not believe this but its true, they may be harder to catch doing it however. Trust me, women can be just as much animals if not more so than men if they like the guy enough from my own experience but they have to find you attractive to begin with and like i said they are usually harder to catch doing it.

Ltryptophan's avatar

I have the answer to this question. First, men who are attractive are probably not paying attention to unattractive females. If those unattractive females gawk at them they will never see it, or care that they didn’t see it, or even if they catch them they will not consider them sexually and therefore not project the correct ethos onto the ugly females gawk.

Second, if a man were to see an attractive female gawking at him, he would immediately commence courtship. Attractive females are aware of this so unless they want to commence with courtship they do not allow themselves to be caught in the act.

Attractiveness is completely subjective, so great variances in the results of this are evident.

Thank you, thank you…

CMaz's avatar

“if a man were to see an attractive female gawking at him, he would immediately commence courtship.”

So true.

Ltryptophan's avatar

Furthermore, when I look at a beautiful car something amazing happens. It tells me quite honestly that if you can afford me you can have me, and I will yield all my goodness to you. We will run around all over the place together, I won’t be turned on by anyone but you, and you can push every button I’ve got!

Is that not love….

nebule's avatar

@Ltryptophan oh MY!! great answers x

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@bob_ They arn’t if came down to hunky GQ model boy who lives at home and plays video games on his parents couch all day or average looking district manager with s cars, spacious house and cash in the bank, she would chose to lean to play Halo 3 with the loser hunk.

jeannerose's avatar

because they want to make friends

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