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Arisztid's avatar

If you were to plan something to confuse future archeoligists, what would it be?

Asked by Arisztid (7099 points ) April 8th, 2010

There have been many archeological fakes. There are many other things that leave archeologists scratching their heads, tossing in more research dollars than can be imagined… never finding an answer.

If I could, I would arrange to be buried or to leave behind something that would be for no other reason than to confuse future scientists. Yes, I am strange because, yes, I spend more time than is “healthy” thinking about this.

For an example, here is something I would do:

I would have it arranged for me to be buried with like minded people (my wife is one, she has the same sort of sense of humor) in the woods, a circle of people buried upright, facing inward, with their feet locked behind their heads, and their little fingers in their mouths. In the center on a stone slab is one person curled on their side, soles of their feet pressed to their forehead and tied there with intricate knots, with their hands crossed in a way that their hands are tied to their opposite elbows. There would have to be at least 4 circles like this.

In my ultimate fantasy I would leave a stone tablet on the other side of the world in such a way as to be discovered centuries later with one message… “you have been had” and a map of where our bodies were discovered.

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29 Answers

DarkScribe's avatar

A bra with three cups.

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

Graft goat horns to my skull after I pass.

earthduzt's avatar

Have myself dismembered and bury my body parts to create some sort of picture or some sort of “sign”. It’d have to be done such as the scientists dig it would lead them to the next part. Maybe bury them in the shape of a ? so after they dig all my parts up they’d have one big giant ? hole.

lloydbird's avatar

A man sat at a card table, entombed in a miniature pyramid.

Bit like this for instance.

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

In addition to the goat horns, put me in the ground sitting on a toilet.

VohuManah's avatar

One Word: Rickroll.

desiree333's avatar

I don’t have a good answer or anything. But I love this question, its pretty funny.

DarkScribe's avatar

A bathroom with a twenty foot ceiling and the washbasin, towel rails, toilet and shower head all mounted six feet higher than normal.

earthduzt's avatar

somehow replace my head with a donkey’s head and get someone to secretly blast me off to Mars in a capsule and crash land there. So when the Rovers finally discover me the whole world will freak out. At least for a little while.

Arisztid's avatar

@DarkScribe The problem is there are already people who do the bra thing that just for kink. Your bathroom one would be great. If you could talk a group into doing it, it would be better.

@Captain_Fantasy It would be better to do it before you pass so they grow into your skull. The closer it look to them being natural the better. The toilet would add confusion to confusion.

@earthduzt Nice! Only when photographed from above would they get the joke.

@lloydbird That would do the trick.

@VohuManah I fantasize various ways of rickrolling the future.

@desiree333 Thankyou :)

@earthduzt Oh now that would be entertaining.

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

The toilet is to misdirect archeologists from the horns.

Coloma's avatar

They will already be confused at the horrible, cheesy, import stuff like TJ Maxx & Ross. they uncover by the boatload

.OMG, what a PRIMITIVE culture…LOOK, a dumb waiter with the face of a monkey! lol

faye's avatar

Great question!

Brian1946's avatar

I would have my naked body buried under a layer of iridium.
Iridium comprises the KT boundary that formed as a result of a trillion-tons, dinosaur-extincting asteroid crashing into Earth about 65 million years ago.

I guess historical geologists or paleontologists would be more likely to discover me than archeologists, but perhaps for a few minutes they’d think I was an ET from WAY before the dawn of Earth-born people.

Before they dated my remains, perhaps they’d think things like, “Major fail in attempting to escape the asteroid, Dude!”. ;-)

LuckyGuy's avatar

How will future archeologists explain Cadillac Ranch in Amarillo, TX? Traffic jam?

ucme's avatar

Have a bulldog impregnate a shi tzu.Bury the resulting offspring.Wonder what they’d make of that bullshit.Ahh the old ones are the good ones.

nisse's avatar

Ill bury some melon helmets and a framed picture of carrot top, that should make them confused enough.

Rufus_T_Firefly's avatar

What if you could teleport back in time and plant a McDonald’s Happy Meal in one of the early Egyptian Pharoah’s tombs? Maybe the toy could be a Moses action figure that walks in circles when you wind it up or a paint-by-nunber picture of Glenn Beck ?

Keysha's avatar

@Rufus_T_Firefly I think we are talking realistically feasible, not science fiction, here.

Rufus_T_Firefly's avatar

@Keysha – Who can say whether we will or won’t have time travel in the future? Also, the questioner’s use of the word ‘future’ places any answer given firmly within the realm of fiction, whether it be science or otherwise.

Keysha's avatar

@Rufus_T_Firefly The asker is my husband, and he stated what would you do to confuse future archeologists. Not what would you like to see someone in the future do.

Rufus_T_Firefly's avatar

Picky, picky, picky. So much for any lighthearted fun in this thread. In the future or not, it IS what I would like to do. I’m sorry it doesn’t meet with YOUR exacting standards of what an opinion should be. I can only hope your husband is less demanding and more fun-loving.

HungryGuy's avatar

First, I’d create a handful of humanoid creatures (maybe based on apes) with multiple legs, eyes on stalks, etc. through a combination of genertic modification and surgery. I’d let them live a full and happy life. Then after their deaths, I’d build a mock-up of a traditional “flying saucer,” sit the creatures in the piliots chairs and elsewhere, and drop it in the ocean not too deep where it’ll be discovered someday. By the time it’s discovered, the bodies will be reduced to skeletons and all non-metallic parts of the saucer will have dissolved so that non-working parts won’t be a giveaway.

DarkScribe's avatar

I think that finding a copy of Avatar would have them looking worried.

Rufus_T_Firefly's avatar

@DarkScribe – Or an altar engraved with Murphy’s Laws or possibly a chariot with a ‘Shit Happens’ bumper sticker on the back!

DarkScribe's avatar

@Rufus_T_Firefly chariot with a ‘Shit Happens’ bumper sticker on the back!

Hmmm. Well true coffee connoisseurs would worry them as far as the “Shit happens” aspect of what are supposedly the very best of coffee beans.

See: http://kalyan.livejournal.com/197766.html

Arisztid's avatar

I seem to have unsubscribed again to my own question. Please pardon that I did not reply. Now, on to reply…

@Coloma I think there is some truth in what you say. I have to wonder what future archeologists shall say about us.

@faye Thankyou much. :)

@Brian1946 Ohhh that would make a good practical joke. I think it might be a bit costly though :P

@worriedguy I would think that most would guess that as an art sulpture. Personally, I think it is pretty funny.

@ucme Now that is just plain bullshit. ;)

@nisse… or scare them off.

@HungryGuy If the process of creating these would not be found, that definitely would be a bit confusing.

@Rufus_T_Firefly I think a tablet with Murphy’s Laws like the purported tablets with the 10 commandments would be great.

@DarkScribe I am not understanding. There are tons of sci fi movies. What would you do, specifically, with this copy of Avatar?

talljasperman's avatar

Multiple name changes and remarriages has made my aunties side hard to track, but then she was hiding from creditors.

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