He wanted to stay friends after dating but why is he now ignoring me?

Yeah pretty much…...sorry.

Agreed, yes…..that’s the story….sorry as well

guys want to ‘stay friends’ usually so that if they’re ever in a situation or have an itch they’ve got your number. Stop trying and you’ll see what I mean.

If you weren’t friends before, I don’t see the point in trying to be friends now…. Not sure if you were friends before though.

Thanks guys, well I’ll get over it, it’s no big deal I just wish guys would just say!
I get confused easily you see ha ha! :-s

Well neither did I Random, we were dating before but he specifically asked to stay friends. It’s not going to happen now anyway…

He just wanted to leave himself an option for a Booty Call !!

Yeah I bet Lilly! Well he ain’t getting it ha ha! I never slept with him when we were dating thank god, that would have made it worse!

I hope he’s not busy most of the time. You can’t demand so much attention from a guy who isn’t really that affectionate and eager to please.

I agree with @Pretty_Lilly. He wanted a back up, just in case. Apparently he now has that covered.

Yes, in the moment he said “Let’s be friends,” he probably didn’t want to feel like he was the bad guy. It’s OK to let this dude go. Don’t text or otherwise contact him any more, go lick your wounds someplace for a little bit and then get back out there. If you do bump into him, all you owe is cordiality and politeness.

@Pretty_Lilly @hy5nmc I doubt he was leaving it open for a booty call (especially since you didn’t sleep with him before)... The only reason I’ve ever wanted to remain friends with an ex is so we can remain cordial if we run into each other, or just to have another friend if you ever needed a favor that that person specifically could help out with (ex. I have an ex girlfriend who hooks me up with hotel discounts for family when they come to visit me). I didn’t remain friends with her just for discounts on hotels, but it’s nice to have a friend who can get you one if you need it.

Also, if the soon to be ex, is really shaken up, or distraught, I will throw out the friends card to kind of ease everything up a bit. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten back with any ex-girlfriend that I’ve been with. I’ve wanted to, but have yet to do that.

I take your point Random. However; playing the ‘friend’s card when you know that it is just not going to happen makes it worse in the long run – I prob would have been feeling better this week if he had just said let’s go our own way and be done with it.

Although I’m thinking I should have just taken that as a sign to move on earlier :-) I’ll get there! Dating still weird at the mo as was in a 12 year relationship previously!

For future reference: “Let’s just be friends” = “I don’t want to date you OR be friends.”
Now the question becomes: “How are you going to deal with it?”

@hy5nmc I agree, if you don’t mean it, don’t say it.

@aprilsimnel and @Captain_Fantasy both have it right. He didn’t want to be a bad guy, and it sounds nice to “be friends”, but in reality it means “I don’t want to date you”.

Yep, I get it Captain! I’m going out with friends tonight and will forget all about him by going on other dates! :-)

He may feel threatened and is pulling away to be sure there can be no relationship. I’ve done this myself and probably destroyed several potential friendships in the process. Some guys can’t think in the “gray areas”, it’s all or nothing and he seems to be opting for nothing.
I usually opt for “nothing” as a have an aversion to anyone getting too close to me.

Thank you everybody!

He’s moved on and now so should you. I would also ignore any future texts if he does try to contact you. He ignored you and so should you.

He never really wanted to be friends. He just wanted to avoid being the bad guy or hurting you and making things more difficult. He’s over it now.

You are better off.

Yeh, it was probably just a way of letting you down gently.

Some people just say that to let themselves off the hook without coming off as an a$$hole.
Like Dr C said,you are better off.

“Am I right in thinking that the ‘friends’ card was played here just to make him feel less guilty”

Yup! And look where I got you.

Will people ever learn?

Relationship is over. Move on. Being “friends” is just a back door way to try to hang on to something. Let it go. Get over it.

So the next person you meet, won’t trip over your baggage.

I would only remain friends with an ex if I felt I may require her for sexual purposes at a later time. Either that or he’s just letting you down gently.

@beautifulbobby193 – Ain’t that the truth.

Guys are jerks.

@chyna – Come on. Some of us are not. ;-)

@ChazMaz Yeah, right. You just agreed with @beautifulbobby193 that you would only remain friends with an ex if you required sexual favors at a later time.

Some guys are jerks yes! Especially those hanging onto a girl as a ‘friend’ just to take advantage at a later date – although if a girl falls for this, more fool her I guess.

He’s probably off getting sexual favours from some other poor cow as we speak!

I’m not anyones booty call!

“I’m not anyones booty call!”

And that is why you end it. :-)

Girls are jerks just as much. They, too, play the “friends” card, hoping to get off easy with less guilt. They do the booty call thing, too (when I was young, that’s not what it was called, but looking back, I realize that is what it was—only stupid me took it as a hopeful sign).

I’d rather not call us all jerks though. I think that, while some of us have ulterior motives, others really do want to let you down easy, or just want to get out with the least guilt possible. So we do the friends thing, and then realize we don’t really care enough to answer the text messages, or we get busy and don’t get back very quickly, and then it’s too long, and what’s the point anymore?

Jerkdom, half the time I think, is just fallen into without any intent or ulterior motive. The other times, sure, it is intent to get over on someone. But you were with the guy for a while. You know his character, not us. You should have a much better sense of what this means than we do. What do you think it is?

Sometimes guys say let’s be friends when they mean, “don’t think I’m a jerk for breaking up with you, because we’re still friends, right?” That makes you a witch if you say anything mean about your “friend.”

Girls do this, too, so it’s not just guys.