General Question

pam's avatar

Why are women so unpredictable?

Asked by pam (32 points ) March 10th, 2008

Being a man, life becomes so easy when dealing with male friends or colleagues after you spend a while with them.But when it comes to dealing with women, even a few years seem short or negligible.Why do you guys think women are different or what makes women think differently?

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11 Answers

Riser's avatar

Women are just as different as men.

If men would actually read between the lines they would understand women on a level that would at least permit simple communication but it usually requires developing an analytical mind and, generally men aren’t the best at reaching sub-conscious analytics.

The scary thing is it puts you in a vulnerable place that… you’re probably not going to like.

Men think women are so vastly different they have placed in their mind a subconscious wall that usually keeps them from ever confronting where the miscommunication between the sexes comes from in the first place.

Let me give you an actual example using myspace (I know… myspace…but patient with me)

You go on myspace and see your friend, who is very attached to his city, has recently moved. He has changed his location from “Carlsbad, Ca to “Nowhere, USA.”

All that says to the average man is that his buddy his moved. A concrete solution to a concrete question.

A female friend goes on the same page and notices the change in location. She does not think “oh he moved” instead she ponders his character, someone who is married to this little town, and deduces that he is sub consciously calling his new location “Nowhere, USA” because it isn’t Carlsbad so it might as well be “Nowhere.”

She has taken a concrete question and answered it in the abstract.

Who is more accurate? Both are equally accurate but have approached it from two completely different angles.

Does it make more sense, now, why your girlfriend could be upset with you over something you aren’t even aware of? It isn’t because you’re ignorant or stupid, it’s because she is answering a concrete with an abstract and you are only acknowledging the concrete.

Hope that sheds SOME light on a very vast idea.

Ruben's avatar

There was a guy who found a wishing lamp, he rubbed it and a genie came out. The genie said “I will grant you one wish.”
So this guy said I dont like to fly so can you build a bridge from California to Hawaii. The genie told him your crazy, that’s to long. Give me another wish. So the guy said I want to understand woman & the genie said how long did you want the bridge. :-)

Laura047's avatar

I would answer your question except I kept changing my mind on how I should answer it. Then I decided to go to the mall to shop and get my nails done.

Tennis5tar's avatar

I was going to answer, but I don’t think I could do it as well as Riser!

ninjaxmarc's avatar

Sometimes actions are done with emotion then true thought or reason.

Unpredictable but more so just with a little bit of understanding and patience will get men to understand women. Vice verse it could easily go both ways.

artificialard's avatar

You’re implying a certain double-standard with how women think based on difference between your experience with women and men. Maybe it’s simply that your a man and understand/ relate easier to other men? And vice versa…

kisses88's avatar

cuz we’re cool like that

stephen's avatar

thats true to most of people but not to me sometimes, I think women are always easy to be effected by the man’s attitude to them. actually ya can use the same way of treating the friendship of man to the women, but be careful do not take any pressure to them,

hossman's avatar

My vote for thread most likely to get me in trouble.

Clinton252's avatar

Riser says we should read between the lines. Why should we have to. Why make things more complicated. So you read between the lines and come up with the wrong answer. It’s just crazy illogical nonsense. I think being gay isn’t such a bad thing. Maybe I’ll give it a shot.

Sinqer's avatar

Because more of their actions are reactions than considered or trained. I Would explain the order of operations to be opposite, but before I begin, I would point out that I am speaking in general, not about ALL men in comparison to ALL women. I also disagree with Riser’s account.

Those that I refer to when I use the word ‘men’ apply ethics or consideration prior to decision or conscious desire (one that does not originate in emotion or direct reaction to stimulus), and base their decision of action on the resulting understanding. They also have what I call a list of priorities, and on that list to be prioritized are their desires (emotional or otherwise).

Women react to stimulus, events, or perceptions, and then apply abstraction after the fact to support whatever reaction they performed or decided, defending their (re)action. And they have a list of desires separate from their list of priorities, usually preferring to sate the former until forced to deal with the latter.

I have met many women and men that behaved contrary to this, but the percentages were remarkably low by my count. And I am specifically speaking about adults. When I engage in online chat or video games, I can rarely tell the difference between a boy of 16 years, and a woman of any age.

Incidentally, I agree with Clinton252. I don’t read between the lines (though what lies there is often obvious)... learn how to communicate accurately and without deceit (word games and what I call fuzzy speech). In fact, I have found through questioning, that many women can’t even explain themselves, which causes one to wonder if they even understand themselves well. From my experience, women most often rely on sympathy for communication versus clear concise understanding. Why? My theories and evidence are far too great in volume to put here.

As far as consistency goes, I have found most women consistently inconsistent. That part I find sad is that consistency is the cornerstone of trust. We trust the sun to rise tomorrow because it consistently does so (simple example). It’s also why trust is ‘earned’ over time versus simply given by men. It’s time to experience consistent behavior (versus relying on words that can be conjured to deceive at any specific time). I don’t mean this as negative concerning women’s behavior, after all, many males nowadays behave much the same.

Unpredictable comes from the reactionary versus proactive decision making, and they often find themselves in the difficult position of understanding why they would/should choose one, and why they would/should choose the contrary, and then suffer internal and external debates on which to do.

“I feel this way, but that will cause this, and if he takes it this way, then he might do this…” so on and so forth. Then they choose that which they had chosen from the start, but gathered all the abstraction and evidence needed to support the decision they already made to defend their decision should it be challenged as selfish, petty, and whatever else they thought it might be considered. Note here that with a pre-established set of principles in order of chosen ethical value (for example the tenet to always tell the truth), many of these difficult decisions are only so for the emotional reactions that accompany following the tenet.

Instead of saying to the guy that regularly approaches woman A at her regular bar, “No I am not interested in getting to know or relating to you.” The woman realizes some ‘minor’ deception will get her free drinks. But a firm tenet regarding truth would cause her to get no free drinks, might have an effect on the man, and she will likely have emotional reactions to how he responds. Rejection rarely fosters happy feelings in either the rejector or rejectee if any sympathy be present. Hence the decision to forego a direct and honest severance, of course based on her sympathetic desire to avoid hurting him or his ego.

Hope that helps.

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