What would be some funny yet entirely inappropriate words written on a sign outside a church?

God hates, never mind, those aren’t funny.

Jesus lurves you.

Jesus loves you. Now, you’re going to hell.

In New York City there was a part called Hells kitchen. So if a church had a sign with an arrow pointing to Hell’s kitchen just before the doors of the church than it would be amusing and wrong.
I suppose a church with a sign to Hells Kitchen (the television show) would work the same.

No trespassing.

Child Safe

For a synagogue, there’s the old joke “Jesus saves. But Moses invests.”

At our church, the church secretary asked the pastor what his sermons would be for the following Sunday, which was Mothers Day. The sign out front had the name of the church, and a space for the AM and PM sermon titles. The Pastor meant for the secretary to post “Mother” as the AM service, and “Woman” as the PM sermon.
What he said, though, was what the sign ended up saying: “Mother in the Morning, Woman in the Evening”.

No praying…or God saw what you did last night

Get on your knees for Jesus.

(Before I get flagged, the question said “entirely inappropriate.”)

Autumn leaves, Jesus Doesn’t—see in sw PA

Also a church name Christ Casebeer Church also sw PA

Not actually inappropriate, but true. Years ago at the entrance to the alley behind an Episcopal church downtown in nice Gothic script, a sign said; Thou shalt not enter.

A banner on the front of St Martin’s church on DC reading WELCOME ALL SINNERS
@jaytkay The ecumenical version is “In God we trust; all others pay cash.”

[removed, by god!]

@Melonking LMAO That was a good one.

The sign could just quote some savory verses from the Bible.

Lord knows there’s plenty of inappropriate Bible passages, though they’re only “funny” in the sense of dark humor, or the satirical hilarity of people believing a religion based on such an appalling book.

-TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS

-No children, no service.

And god said “twitter this”

Have you seen that one.

Here’s a photograph of a real sign in front of a church in Leipzig, communist East Germany years before the Wall came down:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3062/2849276806_2d2cb6229a.jpg?v=0

It reads ‘open to everyone’. At first many hard-core communists thought it was supposed to be funny, some sort of joke. But over the years more and more people talked about it and followed the invitation, among them many nonbelievers and I quote

“The open to everyone motto united all sorts of different people: those who wished to leave the country and those simply curious; regime critics and members of the Stasi (State Security Police); church staff and SED (Socialist Unity Party of Germany) comrades; Christians and non-Christians. In 1989 the Nikolaikirche was one of the most closely watched localities in the GDR. On 9 October there were about 600 SED comrades and Stasi members among the 2,000 participants in the prayers for peace. Outside was a contingent of the army, strike forces, police and civilian action forces. The prayers took place in an incredible atmosphere of quietness and concentration. At the end there was an urgent appeal for non-violence. When we came out of the church with more than 2,000 people – I’ll never forget the sight – there were ten thousands of people waiting in the square. They all had candles in their hands. “Non-violence” was literally taken out of the church and practiced consequently in the street. That was the very core of the peaceful revolution, a new reality that set new standards and took the state power completely by surprise.

http://www.goethe.de/ges/pok/dos/dos/mau/auf/en4236995.htm

@mattbrowne sounds like it first became spook central
and then overthrew that.
Were you there?

@anartist – No, I’m a West German and it was quite difficult to travel to East Germany before November 9, 1989. But West German tv stations received reports from what was going on in Leipzig and also Nikolaikirche in particular. East German activists mainly used Dutch connections to smuggle out video material.

I see—I read the “we” [When we came out of the church with more than 2,000 people] in the quote as you speaking. My booboo.

It was a quote, yes.